Humor Farewell to Twinkies: A Poetic Goodbye to the Beloved Snack - Kacey

[Kitchen Diva]

I just found out that Twinkies are evil, and I cannot eat them anymore. Because I have recently fallen in love with the mini-twinkies that come in a 100 calorie snack pack, I was very sad to learn that they are basically one molecule away from being a plastic.

I decided to put my feelings down in black and white in hopes to work through my grief, and I wanted to share it with all of you.

Ode to Twinkies- by Kacey~

Twinkies, Twinkies, spongy cake,
Life without you makes my heart break.

Your creamy center is so delicious,
How can you NOT be more nutritious?

In all your golden sponge-cake splendor,
Your trans-fats do a plastic render

You clog our veins with edible sludge
Healthier than you is a pound of fudge!

I fell in love with you at first bite,
But my doctor says eating you isn't right.

Hydrogenated oils are not my friend,
So my relationship with you is near its end.

I will delight in your spongy goodness one more time,
And think fondly upon the fact that you once were mine.



Touching, eh?

 

[pamperedlinda]

So sorry for your loss Kacey.....LMAO!

 

[pampermejolene]

twinkies... ICK! :yuck:

 

[ChefBeckyD]

You are a silly goof - and I love you!

 

[chefsteph07]

Kasey, you are HILARIOUS...
My husband saw me rolling on the floor w/ tears running down my face, he read this and all he said is "you guys are nuts"...
Incidently, DH just brought me a 2 pack of Twinkies home last night from a gas station where he filled up..I haven't had them in YEARS and I love them...

How long did it take you to come up w/ this??? Very creative!:thumbup:

 

[Kitchen Diva]

So sorry for your loss Kacey.....LMAO!

I knew you'd understand, Linda!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Kasey, you are HILARIOUS...
My husband saw me rolling on the floor w/ tears running down my face, he read this and all he said is "you guys are nuts"...
Incidently, DH just brought me a 2 pack of Twinkies home last night from a gas station where he filled up..I haven't had them in YEARS and I love them...

How long did it take you to come up w/ this??? Very creative!:thumbup:

I actually came up with it in about 5 minutes. I had finished a package of the 100 calorie mini Twinkie snack cakes and felt led to share my love for those little things with all my fellow cheffers.

DH laughed when I read it to him, and then just told me I was strange. Like he didn't already know that... I wrote an Ode to Dill too- but he didn't want to hear that one again.

 

[pcsharon1]

I had to read this out loud to my husband. His one word, well two actually "Wow, talented!"

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I had to read this out loud to my husband. His one word, well two actually "Wow, talented!"

LOL, you can read this to him -http://www.chefsuccess.com/f7/ode-cilantro-37937/

Tell him thanks, and tell him my DH told me to tell you no more compliments because it encourages me to continue doing strange things like writing an Ode to Twinkies...

 

[byrd1956]

Great Ode! I have not had them forever and I too love them! :love:
I knew they were really not good for you so I bought the light Twinkies once. OMG they were TERRIBLE...... I think they were filled with Crisco! I took the box to school and shared them w/my 8th. graders. (they must not have tastebuds cause they were thrilled to have them....)

 

[pampchefsarah]

I stopped eating Twinkies when I learned, in high school (so it was a REALLY long time ago), that their shelf life is like a hundred years. Realized then that was more chemicals than I wanted in my body.

Up to that point, though, I loved Twinkies. Argghh, now you have me wanting Zingers!!

 

[pampermejolene]

Did the 100 calorie pack stave off the craving? Some of them that I have tried didn't taste quite the same. I've been trying not to eat all the icky food. I'm liking the Kashi cookies.

 

[babywings76]

Did you see Wall-E, where the twinkies were still good after all that time, and the (sorry this is disgusting to write...) cockroach friend of his would run through and eat the cream. :yuck: :yuck:

I've only had twinkies a couple times in my life. I think they taste really gross, every bit tasted fake to me. I think when I was a kid I didn't have taste buds, because there are a few things that I just loved that taste gross to me now. But then I keep wondering if it's just that the manufacturers have changed the recipes. (or with all the chemicals, I should say formula)

 

[pampered.chris]

Kacey, I am sorry to hear that your Twinkie relationship has to come to an end. I hope that in time you can heal.

Meanwhile...I love those friggin plastic-like things!!

But now I probably won't be eating them knowing how close they are to plastic. Oh and the image of the cockroach...thanks Amanda. LOL!!

 

[raebates]

Kacey, you're brilliant.Amanda, I'm also convinced that manufacturers have changed many of my childhood favorites. The good news is that keeps me from craving them.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Kacey, you're brilliant.

Amanda, I'm also convinced that manufacturers have changed many of my childhood favorites. The good news is that keeps me from craving them.

Aww, shucks!

Yes, things just don't taste the same from when we were kids.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I stopped eating Twinkies when I learned, in high school (so it was a REALLY long time ago), that their shelf life is like a hundred years. Realized then that was more chemicals than I wanted in my body.

Up to that point, though, I loved Twinkies. Argghh, now you have me wanting Zingers!!

Did the 100 calorie pack stave off the craving? Some of them that I have tried didn't taste quite the same.

I've been trying not to eat all the icky food. I'm liking the Kashi cookies.

Yes, they really are nothing but chemicals, which blows my mind... and the 100 calorie pack is just the same as a regular twinkie, except they give you three tiny ones, instead of one regular one- which is 120 calories.

 

[byrd1956]

I think 'they' are doing that to lots of products. Got a diff. brand of tapioca the other day cause it said it had 80 calories. Realized it is 1/2 the size of Swiss Miss....thus 1/2 the calories and that equals 1/2 full!!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

I think 'they' are doing that to lots of products. Got a diff. brand of tapioca the other day cause it said it had 80 calories. Realized it is 1/2 the size of Swiss Miss....thus 1/2 the calories and that equals 1/2 full!!

The Twinkies is a bit different, Hostess is just re-sizing their snack cakes so that they are only 100 calories, so they can repackage them and sell them in 100 calorie packs. It's portion control, but it's the same product as their regular over-sized snack cakes!

 

[colegrovet]

The Twinkies is a bit different, Hostess is just re-sizing their snack cakes so that they are only 100 calories, so they can repackage them and sell them in 100 calorie packs. It's portion control, but it's the same product as their regular over-sized snack cakes!

yea they make the 100 calorie packs.. to make it portion control.. problem is takes the whole box to fill that hollow spot when I need a snack....

 

[raebates]

I went to high school with a girl who thought that diet frozen dinners made you lose weight, so she'd eat 2 or 3 of them for a meal. She couldn't figure out why she wasn't losing weight. A lot of the new "reduced calorie" things remind me of her. They make the serving size so small that no reasonable person would consider it a serving, then claim 0 fat and few calories. Case in point: a pint of ice cream says it serves 4. I have never met the other 3 people.

 

[gailz2]

Have no fear, I'm sure they'll soon come up with a way to make them healthier!

 

[raebates]

Have no fear, I'm sure they'll soon come up with a way to make them healthier!

I love your optimism. Me? I'm not sure there's a way to make sponge cake with sweet, creamy filling healthy.

 

[starrmarie]

I just found out that Twinkies are evil, and I cannot eat them anymore. Because I have recently fallen in love with the mini-twinkies that come in a 100 calorie snack pack, I was very sad to learn that they are basically one molecule away from being a plastic.

This is so funny! I'm sitting here at work reading this thread and the ladies sitting in the lobby are talking about margarine and one of the ladies said "I don't eat margarine because it is one molecule away from being plastic" so funny......crazy timing.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Yeah, I just learned all the bad things about Margerine, too. Amazing!!! Simply amazing.

I'm curious if all these foods are one molecule shy of a plastic, why tupperware doesn't taste better.

 

[pampered1224]

OMG OMG OMG This is just way too funny! I think I hurt my face! I was told by my doctor that you are better off eating a pound of butter than a pat of margarine! I loved Twinkies as a kid but some where along the line they started to taste funny to me too! Actually sort of like Tupperware smells when you first get it. OOMG! We have a Twinkie fiend and work and I can not wait to show this too her!!! She loves them hot, cold, frozen, deep fried and in triffles! And I have a brother who has one, unopened, in a box. It has been there since 1975! It still looks like it is brand new! The major difference - it is actually about 3/4 of an inch longer and it is bigger around than the ones today! And it is marked 5 cents!