Embarrassed by on of My Downline and Need Advice on How to Handle

[heather223]

Hi! I am erasing the information from my original post. I was reflecting on this and would hate for my downline to come here someday and see this post and the be further hurt. Thank you all for your feedback.

 

[raebates]

No, you're not overreacting. I'll have to give some thought to how to address it. You're in a tricky spot. How connected are you with your upline? Maybe you could talk this out with her. She might have some good suggestions for how to handle the situation.

 

[Sheila]

The host refusing to have Sally as the consultant already said a lot ... the host didn't expect Sally to be professional enough to be the consultant. (I'm actually kind of shocked that the host invited Sally to attend since she didn't want her being the consultant. That's a bit weird, especially since she didn't explain WHY to Sally!)Sally probably had hurt feelings that the host didn't choose her as the consultant ~ or (what's probably more likely) she may think that YOU STOLE A SHOW THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HER SHOW. I don't think you stole the show, but if you, the host & Sally haven't had a conversation about why you did the show, then that very well may be Sally's perception. She may really think that you talked the host into doing the show with you vs using Sally. If so, Sally was sitting there with a LOT of pent up hostility and looking for ways that she would have done better than you. She was basically throwing a temper tantrum at your show & at the meeting.My guess, she's used to getting her way and nothing you say or do will help her to see the light. None of us were born knowing how to crawl, we learned. None of us knew how to walk, we learned. None of us knew how to use the potty, we learned. And none of us magically know how to be a Pampered Chef Consultant, we had to be receptive to learn. If she's not receptive to learning new information and trying, she'll fail. Plain & simple. You can't really fix another person's personality. Bless & release. Hopefully someone (who's opinion Sally respects) will come along, open her eyes and she'll see that she needs to change or pay the consequence of no long-term relationships in her life.

 

[Brenda.the.chef]

You aren't over reacting in my opinion. I would almost bet that Sally did herself no favors at all at the show or the team meeting. I agree with Sheila. There is most likely an obvious reason that Sally wasn't invited to be the consultant. She proved it with her outbursts. Plain and simple.I really think that you and Sally need to have a heart to heart conversation about her goals and how to reach them. Remind her that our overall goals are to help one another succeed. Let her know that you will succeed with or without her support. Let her know that if she has issues with you personally that you would appreciate private conversation and not public attempts at humiliation. I can only recommend you being the better person and not allowing her to get under your skin.Best of luck to you.

 

[mountainmama74]

I agree with Sheila. I don't think you stole the show either - hosts are definitely free to have shows with any consultant they please, and this host obviously had a reason to not have Sally do the show! However, it definitely sounds as though Sally feels you did. I think if it were me, I'd have to sit down and talk with Sally and let her know that her behavior was unacceptable (hey, if you're going to act like a 3 year old, you should be treated as one) and that if she has an issue with you, you would prefer that she take it up with you personally rather than in front of everyone!

 

[lt1jane]

My neighbor had a show with me a few years ago. It is still my best show. Last fall, he came to be and told me his cousin's wife was starting up her business, so he was going to host with her to help her get started. I told him if she needed anything for the show becuase sometimes you get there and realize you left something at home, send her over.

She got a few bookings from that party that she didn't follow up on. Now, when someone asks him for his cousin's info because they have needs, he sends them to me. He tells them I am more reliable and will follow-up with them. I may have lost out on a $1000 party, but he keeps sending business my way. By being gracious, I win in the end, not that I am trying to compete with his cousin.

 

[esavvymom]

If it were me...and not saying this is necessarily what you should do, but just my opinion:

Since obviously as consultants, our paths don't often cross that way. I probably would not bring it up- at least not on purpose. But if you and she are together and she makes a snide comment or remark about the neighbor, the show, or anything related, THEN I would proceed carefully, "innocently". Like "Are you upset that I did that show? Because I get the feeling you were". See what she says. Explain that the host and you have a relationship, and this business is built on relationships- not territories. If the conversation took it far enough, I'd probably say that you didn't appreciate how she berated the show, but I don't know that I'd go there if I didn't HAVE to. We all do shows in different ways, and we don't criticize how each does it (thank goodness!). Your way works for YOU and your customers, she can do it HER way- if she ever decides to do it.

As far as your host/her neighbor- next time she does a show, I hope she doesn't invite her. She can play dumb "Oh- I figured you wouldn't want to come to another PC show- since you are surrounded by it and probably buy the stuff with your discount anyway!"

I don't know if that makes any sense.

 

[PCJenni]

Bless and Release. Sally will be going away on her own soon enough... her actions speak louder than her words. She doesn't want to work a business if she has not done a live show since signing. She wants to play... fine, she can. BUT those types of consultant eventually fall away and the problem is over.

 

[smart2cook]

I think everyone here gave you great advice. When I read this, I was under the impression that maybe she was at a training show with you? since she was your downline?
If that were the case, I know that I have attended a training show with my ED and I in no way interfered in HER show. I asked her how I could help her and that was it-hand out catalogs when needed, did the dishes etc..it's not "my" show.
We do all have different personalities and I concur that you should speak to your up-line and this consultant. She needs some PC training-maybe she came from other DS background. So sorry this happened to you.

 

[chefsteph07]

My question is, why was Sally at the show you were doing for the neighbor? Was it for training, was she an invited guest?
If she were there for "training", I think I would address it, and maybe even put her on the spot, like it was mentioned in the above comment. Simply ask her if she was upset w/ you for doing the show and have her explain why if she was. Then let her know that you offered the show to the host for HER and she wanted YOU to do it. It's not YOUR fault!
If she were there as a GUEST, I would tell her that you appreciated her "feedback" during the show (even if she was trying to upstage you) and then I would address what she said at the meeting. It really IS unprofessional, and I'd want her to know that it was hurtful to you, not to mention, slightly embarrassing.
Maybe since you are so "boring", she won't want to attend any more shows that you do and if she wants to shadow you in the future, you can have her tag w/ someone from your upline.

 

[sherri lynn]

I'm so sorry that she treated you like that, especially in front of so many other people. I know when you have the wisdom and vision to address this sitiuation with her, hopefully you will do it in private. She evidently had "issues" or jealousy, but something is not right with your negative nellie in your downline. Hope this resolves itself quickly and smoothly

 

[heather223]

Thank you all for the great advice. I feel better just getting it out.

 

[cookingwithlove]

Heather, I editted mine too. It pretty much rehashed what you wrote and I don't want you to have to defend yourself later. Hopefully things will work out between the 2 of you.

 

[heather223]

Thank you all for the great advice. I edited my original messages as I was thinking about this further and would hate for my team member to come here and see this and then be hurt further. It was a sticky situation that I am blessing and releasing. Thank you again for your kind words and support.

 

[raebates]

Heather, if you like, I believe you can send Admin Greg a message and ask him to remove this thread if you're really concerned.

 

[heather223]

Thanks Rae! I did send him one and am just waiting on a response.

 

[heather223]

Heather, I editted mine too. It pretty much rehashed what you wrote and I don't want you to have to defend yourself later. Hopefully things will work out between the 2 of you.

Thank you! I appreciate what you did say. I don't believe she comes on here, but would hate to make her feel worse. When I started the thread I was thinking of my own feelings and not hers as well. It has been a learning experience for me!