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Effective Ways to Inform and Inspire as a Guest Speaker for Step Up Directors

In summary, this woman's husband spends almost $40 a week on lunch. He works for a prominent company, but they can't afford it. She has tried to beg him, make him lunches, buy him lunches, etc., but he just won't do it. She's at her breaking point and is ready to take the debit card away from him. She also suggests crunching the numbers and making him realize where the money could go.
JAE
4,759
I have been asked to be a guest speaker for a director friend's stepI have been asked to be a guest speaker for a director friend's step up to director. I am covering the topic of informing. I believe the call the following week will be inviting. I will be covering telling your story, they why bag, the ticket game (or the pass the product variation), etc. I was hoping to get some ideas from you gals on some other ideas maybe new ones :)Thanks,
Katie
 
I really like and plan to use the Lifestyle Quote from the company's recruiting Tip of the Day which came yesterday. People need to know PC is a lifestyle not just a job.
 
Do any of you have any advice for me on how to handle my husband who goes out to eat for lunch ALMOST daily? We CANNOT afford it! I have begged him, made him lunches to take, bought him lunches to take, etc...he just won't do it. And, it's not little cheap $1 menu items, he spends on average about $7 per day on lunch. I know it might not seem like a lot, but I calculated in the past 2 weeks since he got paid last and he spend almost $40 on going out to eat! I told him the other day why do I grocery shop if he just wants to eat out all the time...This morning was my breaking point, I got up early to pack him some leftovers from dinner last night and I just found it sitting back in the fridge in the container I put it in! He works for a prominent company, we don't make prominent money because I stay at home w/ our 2 kids, and I feel a little bit like he has to "keep up" with all the other guys who go out everyday.

I am about ready to take the debit card away from him, but I know that will start WWIII. Anyone else deal with a spendaholic spouse?
 
my husband deals with me, so I can't offer advice!
 
Can you pack a lunch for 2 and meet him for lunch? Maybe, not every day but 1 or 2x a week.
 
Well I hate to say it, but going out to Lunch with coworkers and associates sometimes is part of the job. However, not every day. Try to comprise. But start slowly. Ask to make him lunch once a week. After a few weeks, ask for two. Then three. Then stop. :)
 
Admin Greg said:
Well I hate to say it, but going out to Lunch with coworkers and associates sometimes is part of the job. However, not every day. Try to comprise. But start slowly. Ask to make him lunch once a week. After a few weeks, ask for two. Then three. Then stop. :)

This is what i was going to suggest as well. I think sometimes they just need to get out of the office/workplace for a breather.
maybe if you can do what Greg suggested and make a deal w/ him to bring lunch a few days and go out the others.
(I need to do this with the kids for school too!! ;) )

My DH usually comes home to grab something a few times a week the other days he buys a sandwich or something w/ the guys.This also depends on what the bank account is looking like.
 
Honestly- pay the bills the instant the paycheque is deposited. Do it online. Take out whatever cash YOU need for groceries right away. And when the money is gone, he will have to face reality RATHER than YOU sitting at home stressing about how to pay the electric bill.
 
I have a husband who has a spending habit! He needs his retail therapy.
I know it is no help but believe me there are many women like you.

OH and this might help...my DH has realized that if we want to buy a house...he can't spend. So he leaves everything at home except his DL and MID. Whatever cash he has is it........but he comes home for lunch almost everyday.
 
  • #10
Crunch the numbers for him and make him realize where else the money could go. Even show that some of that money could go to "something" for him. "Something" as opposed to the money being "eaten" away. Hope that makes sense.
 
  • #11
chefsteph07 said:
Do any of you have any advice for me on how to handle my husband who goes out to eat for lunch ALMOST daily? We CANNOT afford it! I have begged him, made him lunches to take, bought him lunches to take, etc...he just won't do it. And, it's not little cheap $1 menu items, he spends on average about $7 per day on lunch. I know it might not seem like a lot, but I calculated in the past 2 weeks since he got paid last and he spend almost $40 on going out to eat! I told him the other day why do I grocery shop if he just wants to eat out all the time...This morning was my breaking point, I got up early to pack him some leftovers from dinner last night and I just found it sitting back in the fridge in the container I put it in! He works for a prominent company, we don't make prominent money because I stay at home w/ our 2 kids, and I feel a little bit like he has to "keep up" with all the other guys who go out everyday.

I am about ready to take the debit card away from him, but I know that will start WWIII. Anyone else deal with a spendaholic spouse?

OH MY WORD!!! THATS SOUNDS EXACTLY WHAT MY HUBBY DOES AND I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL LIKE FOR SURE!!!

I did take away his debit and credit cards away, yes he wasn't happy with me but it HAD to be done! But like your hubby he is going out to lunch almost evryday plus coffee in the morning, and then occasionally he orders something online... uugghhh! We were falling behind in bills and everything! I gave them back to him recently, thinking I could trust him again and..... ya, no I can't. It looks like I am going to have to take them again..:grumpy:
We fight about it a lot but I can let us go in debt! He sees there is money there and he spends it, not realizing it is bill money or whatever. Then we incurr bounce fees, etc. Things have to change. I am thinking about either taking them back away or giving a certain amount of money at the beginning of the week and thats it... he can spend it how he wishes but when it is gone, it is gone! Good Luck, it's tough. I definitely whole heartedly understand where you are coming from and how you feel :(
 
  • #12
I have a girlfriend that put her husband on a budget. A strict budget. It worked well for many years. He had 'x' amount of spending money per week. My date at the time had a lot of sympathy for him.

--Jenny L
 
  • #13
Have you thought about sitting down together and doing a budget and paying bills together?? My DH would get upset when I told him we didnt have money for x or y and then he sat down himself and realized we didnt really have the money for x or y and it wasnt my fault
 
  • #14
I haven't posted on this all week, but we had a blow up about it over the weekend, I told him how I REALLY feel, that I feel sometimes he is spending out of defiance to me, like if I tell him we can't afford this or that, he just does whatever he wants anyway! I told him I am a SAHM, he has a family and we all have to sacrifice sometimes and where's HIS sacrifice?? Like, he feels that since he makes the money he can spend it any way he chooses, etc. He said he doesn't feel that way...I think he felt bad about how I feel.

It's Thurs and he's taken his lunch so far this week. I know I prob shouldn't say it, because he'll prob go out today! LOL but, I really don't care if it's once a week, but he was really pushing it. If he doesn't go out today, I think I'll tell him that I"m so proud of him and he can go out tomorrow.
 
  • #15
I don't know what to tell you either, other than I can sympathize. My ex had(has) a spending problem too. Only his wasn't on lunch. His was on clothes, dirt bike attire, hundreds of dollars a week.

He didn't want anything to do with the budget no matter how many times I went over with him. But, he expects to have the credit card with a 0 balance each month.

By the time that I left, there was $30,000 in cc debt & we filed bankruptcy b/c he still just didn't want to deal with it.

Be proud of him if he's attempting to do what you ask. It's a start.
 

1. Why does my husband constantly overspend?

Many people struggle with managing their finances, and it's not uncommon for someone to overspend. This behavior can stem from a variety of factors, such as impulsive buying habits, lack of budgeting skills, or using shopping as a coping mechanism. It's important to have open and honest communication with your spouse about their spending habits to find a solution that works for both of you.

2. How can I talk to my husband about his spending without starting a fight?

Approaching your spouse about their spending can be a delicate situation. It's important to have a calm and respectful conversation, avoiding accusatory language. Instead, focus on expressing your concerns and finding a compromise. It may also be helpful to seek the advice of a financial counselor or therapist to mediate the conversation.

3. What are some practical ways to curb my husband's spending?

There are several strategies you and your spouse can implement to control overspending. One approach is to create a budget and stick to it, tracking all expenses and setting limits for discretionary spending. Another option is to give your husband a cash allowance to use for non-essential purchases. Additionally, you could suggest finding alternative, less expensive ways to satisfy his wants, such as borrowing items or buying secondhand.

4. My husband's spending is causing financial strain. How can we get back on track?

If your husband's spending is causing financial strain, it's crucial to address the issue as soon as possible. Sit down together and review your budget, identifying areas where you can cut back to save money. You may also need to seek the help of a financial advisor to create a plan for paying off debt and improving your financial situation.

5. My husband refuses to change his spending habits. What can I do?

If your husband is unwilling to change his spending habits, it may be a sign of a deeper issue, such as a compulsive buying disorder. Encourage him to seek professional help to address the underlying problem. In the meantime, consider setting boundaries and taking control of your own finances to protect yourself from any negative impact of his spending.

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