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Are There Successful Single Moms in Business?

In summary, Brooke's ex-husband moved out and she is now a single mother with three children. She tries to schedule her shows for nights her kids are with their father, but also tries to make time for herself.
bbauman07
Gold Member
1,473
No I'm not trying to "pick u up" LOL. I am wondering if there are any single moms out there, who juggle your kids and are still successful in the business?

Any advice you have would be grateful, since it looks like I'm will be separating, possibly getting a divorce.
 
Me!

How old are your kids?
 
Brooke, so sorry to hear of your dilemma! I can't help you with the single mom thing, but just wanted to offer my condolences. Keep your chin up - you'll find a way to make it work!!!
 
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  • #4
Paige Dixon said:
Me!

How old are your kids?


8 years old, 3 years old and 1 years old
 
I have an 8 year old, a 6 year old, and a 3 year old. I spend most of the day every Tuesday working in my office. I spend Sunday evenings making phone calls. (sometimes I have to resort to this being movie night). I schedule out their school activities/sport activities first, then schedule shows around that, trying to avoid M-W because those days are so crazy in the afternoons/evenings with school. So, I usually schedule shows Th (my kids have no school on Fridays), Fri, Sat AM and/or pm, Sun am.
I make my 6 year old responsible for helping the sitter with his little brother while my 8 year old comes with me to be my assistant. By the time she's old enough to be the babysitter for me, I'll be able to take my middle child as my assistant. It helps so much to be spending time with one while I'm doing the show.
They know that the trips are awards to all of us for the hard work we've all done all year for PC (including them putting up with babysitters for a year!) They eagerly help with stamping paperwork knowing that they are helping earn the trips. I also verbalize how much I'll need to work in Feb or Dec to ensure our family trip. That way, when they get cranky about me leaving AGAIN, they know the pay off is coming.
Recruiting interviews are great to schedule at a McDonald's playplace. I've considered scheduling once a week to plan on doing this. That should make me try to get that interview booked the same way we try to get empty show nights booked.
Hope this helps some, I'll probably add more as it comes to mind!
 
BTW, on my first incentive trip, it really opened my eyes to realize that I don't need a man to go on 5-star trips. I never realized before that I would still be able to enjoy such luxuries without a man to pay for them. We don't need sugar daddies- Doris is mine!
 
I desided to become a Pampered Chef consultant a month after my Husband moved out and Filed for Divorce. I have three Children...ages 13, 6 and 4. I have been a stay at home mom for 13 years. On top of that I homeschool our children. I needed something that was going to bring me some money ...let me continue to stay home and homeschool the girls, Plus be flexable with babysitters. Let me tell you what My Hubby has been gone for five months and I NEVER thought I could do all of what I am doing. I had five shows my first month and six my second....I am going into my Third month ...
I try to book my shows for when the girls go for the weekend....I even give little insentives for booking on that Friday, sat and Sun... It has been A HUGE challange ...However I am so thankful I took the steps to try PC....So many people have been unsuportive ...Telling me that this was not a job that could suport my kids...However...I am finding that it is ...With Child support and my income I am making it ..Good Luck ..My heart goes out to you !
 
Brroke,
I am so sorry to hear of your situation. It is not easy but I promise you it will get easier in time.
I started with PC just 4 months after my ex and I separated. I have since remarried but am married to a guy who works from 1pm-10pm most days of the week...so I am pretty much doing the "single mom" thing. I only schedule shows for the nights my kids are at their father's so I don't have to miss out on time with them. Once a month I have our cluster meeting on a night they're not at Dad's...and on that night we either switch up the visitation schedule if that's feasible or my Dh takes a night off work to be with my kids, or my Mom watches them or whatever I can juggle for that one night a month.

They love to sticker my catalogs for me and put order forms into them. I try to get a smuch work as possible done during the day when they're at school (thay are 8 and 5) but in the beginning when they were littler I did my CC calls during nap-time and after bedtime.

It'll all fall into place and you'll find a rythym that works for you and your children.

My biggest piece of advice though - if there is any thread of hope, do everything you can to salvage your marriage - I am a child of divorce and not a divorced mother...it breaks my heart what my kids have to go through.
 
dannyzmom said:
My biggest piece of advice though - if there is any thread of hope, do everything you can to salvage your marriage - I am a child of divorce and not a divorced mother...it breaks my heart what my kids have to go through.

Carolyn - glad you gave that advice...I'm not a single mom, never been in your shoes, never hope to be...

I actually had a pretty corny line at work this week, but I was being truthful about it..

I said, "People always think the grass is greener on the other side, when it is actually easier to care for and fertilize what is in their own front lawn..."

It got a chuckle...like "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" on SNL, but I was kind of serious. We always think we have it bad and things are brighter elsewhere and if we took the time to care for what was in front of us, it'd actually be better...

Now that I got off-topic, sorry...we don't know your situation or what you're going through, but wish the best for you...
 
  • #10
janetupnorth said:
Carolyn - glad you gave that advice...I'm not a single mom, never been in your shoes, never hope to be...

I actually had a pretty corny line at work this week, but I was being truthful about it..

I said, "People always think the grass is greener on the other side, when it is actually easier to care for and fertilize what is in their own front lawn..."

It got a chuckle...like "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" on SNL, but I was kind of serious. We always think we have it bad and things are brighter elsewhere and if we took the time to care for what was in front of us, it'd actually be better...

Now that I got off-topic, sorry...we don't know your situation or what you're going through, but wish the best for you...


You're right...so right.
My ex and I threw in the towel without working on things. We had a lot of issues and were both stubborn and immature. But being a bit older and a lot wiser now, we both agree - we could have worked on things and made things work out. But...alas, we chose not to and both went down separate paths. I have been blessed with a wonderful new husband - but guess what? WE have issues, too!! I mean, gosh - who doesn't?!?! But using the lessons I learned...I hope to make this marriage work. My ex is getting married on Sunday and we've been talking a lot lately about how NOT to screw up our 2nd marriages...it's just a shame for our kids that we didn't talk way back when about how not to screw up our own marriage.http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/mad0228.gif
So...all that said, Brooke, if there is a shred of hope...put your all into making it work. And if there is not...then walk away with your head held high and do the best you can for your kids...and we're all here for you either way. http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/love0059.gif
 
  • #11
dannyzmom said:
You're right...so right.
My ex and I threw in the towel without working on things. We had a lot of issues and were both stubborn and immature. But being a bit older and a lot wiser now, we both agree - we could have worked on things and made things work out. But...alas, we chose not to and both went down separate paths. I have been blessed with a wonderful new husband - but guess what? WE have issues, too!! I mean, gosh - who doesn't?!?! But using the lessons I learned...I hope to make this marriage work. My ex is getting married on Sunday and we've been talking a lot lately about how NOT to screw up our 2nd marriages...it's just a shame for our kids that we didn't talk way back when about how not to screw up our own marriage.http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/mad0228.gif
So...all that said, Brooke, if there is a shred of hope...put your all into making it work. And if there is not...then walk away with your head held high and do the best you can for your kids...and we're all here for you either way. http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/love0059.gif

Carolyn,
thanks for sharing your story! From the perspective of an adult child of divorce - I have to say that the hurt never stops...it takes on new forms, and you learn to accept it - but underneath, it's still there. And now as a mom myself, I pray every day that God will always make me aware of my own wrongs and faults and help to make them better, and that I will be willing to accept the faults in my DH and love him unconditionally. more than anything, I want my son to grow up with a Mom & a Dad together, and never have to go through the pain and confusion I grew up with. It's hard enough having to explain to him all of the different "Grandpas & Grandmas".....and it just makes life difficult. I wish all the time it didn't have to be that way!

With that - I know Brooke that not always do marriages work out, as much as I wish they could! I will be praying for you and also be here to support you as you walk through this time.
 
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  • #12
I have been trying for the last year or so, things seem to be getting worse, and the choice of words more painful, and I just don't know that I have it in me to try anymore.

I'm hoping a separation will open his eyes, to how serious I am about things needing to change.
 
  • #13
Sorry to hear thatI am sorry to hear that. I hope it works out for you. My prayers are with you. I remember being single with two small children, working and hoping I could make it at 19! Then my knight in shining armor came to me at 22 and the rest is history!!

I heard a preacher once say, "When the grass seems greener on the other side, it's time to water your grass!"

My husband and I water the grass often!!!

Debbie :D
 
  • #14
I was a single mom up until 3 months ago... I have a five year old little girl .... but what I did is she helped me put stickers on catalogs, and put hostess packets together...... involve the little ones... they think it's a game...... everything works out for it's own reasons... I have been divroced from my exhusband for 3 years now......I am on my second marriage now.. and so is my new husband...... I dont' knwo how long you were married for or if your will to share that..... but somethings are workable even when you do not think they are. IF it is not meant to be.. the lord will give you guidence and strength through it.... If your regligious at all I highly suggest lots of prayers... and besides we are all hear if you want to talk or vent...... I will keep you in my prayers in the mean time.
 
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  • #15
I don't have any advise for you Brooke, as I have not gone through this, but I'll be thinking of you. I hope everything works out for you:)
 
  • #16
Brooke,
I am a child of divorce never saw my father until he showed up 2 years ago (when I was 38) at my stepdad's funeral!! He was there to support my older sister. Who was only there to see what she was getting from the will. In all those years I never heard my mom utter one nasty word about him. He left her the day she told him she was pregnant with me and married her best friend. They were almost to their 21st wedding anniversary. We were alone for 8 years until she remarried and we struggled but I ALWAYS knew it wasn't my fault and I was loved.
I can't help as far as being a single mom (still married to my Jr. High
sweetheart 20 years in June) BUT, my kids were a great help when I first started PC they were 1, 3 & 5. The 2 younger ones didn't help much in the beginning obviously. But as they grew older can stamp or sticker order forms & catalogs, stack the copies and info for a host packet to be stuffed. We always had an assembly line littlest one in the middle and she followed her older brother and one behind her to keep her on track. (I did use colored paper so it was easy at a glance to see if i needed to add something.)
As they grew older they helped with deliveries, now they drive they can do the delveries.
I will uplift you in my prayers as your family adjusts to this separation. Keep smiling and hugging your kids. Don't put PC before your family and their needs
make them second and everything will fall into place.
Teresa
 
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  • #17
I understand the child side of I I like you Teresa found my Dad about 3 years ago and have only talked to him on the phone I have never met him.


I don't want to "air out" all my dirty laundry here in this post but if you all knew the bigger picture the manipulative things he says to me and the kids you would probably be telling me to run for the hills.


I thank every one for the advice though, I don't think anyone ever gets married with the plan of divorce or separation but it seems to be the direction my life is headed.
 
  • #18
bbauman07 said:
I have been trying for the last year or so, things seem to be getting worse, and the choice of words more painful, and I just don't know that I have it in me to try anymore.

I'm hoping a separation will open his eyes, to how serious I am about things needing to change.


My children miss their dad (no visitation or child support) but it's so nice to now live in a safe home, even if it is chaotic! I can tell the children feel so much more at ease and we're all happier. In some situations, the children are better off in a divorced family.
 
  • #19
Paige Dixon said:
My children miss their dad (no visitation or child support) but it's so nice to now live in a safe home, even if it is chaotic! I can tell the children feel so much more at ease and we're all happier. In some situations, the children are better off in a divorced family.

Anytime it is a matter of safety - I agree that it is better to part ways!
 
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Check out Mothering.com, click on discuss, then look for the forum on single parenting. The wisest mamas I've heard are on that site, unfortunately the single parenting forum has alot of whining. But it also has great solutions and advice and they will help you delve into your and your children's psyche to help you with problems.
 
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I almost forgot the best advice I've heard! (This works for married moms, too, who have trouble getting on the phone in the evenings)

Karin Logston suggested to us that we leave 15 minutes early for a show (15 minutes of babysitting is pretty cheap!), pull over when we are close to the host's house, and make 15 minutes worth of calls. So smart!
 
  • #22
ChefBeckyD said:
Anytime it is a matter of safety - I agree that it is better to part ways!


Oh, man! My children would ask me if Dad was going to kill me. I can't imagine what they were thinking life would be like after he killed me. Thank God he is far, far away! I would gladly sacrifice every penny of child support if he would stay away!
 
  • #23
bbauman07 said:
No I'm not trying to "pick u up" LOL. I am wondering if there are any single moms out there, who juggle your kids and are still successful in the business?

Any advice you have would be grateful, since it looks like I'm will be separating, possibly getting a divorce.


Damn, I needed SOMEONE to pick up on me!!
 
  • #24
Paige Dixon said:
Oh, man! My children would ask me if Dad was going to kill me. I can't imagine what they were thinking life would be like after he killed me. Thank God he is far, far away! I would gladly sacrifice every penny of child support if he would stay away!


Oh my gosh Paige how horrible for you and your kids. I glad you had the courage and strength to leave not only for you but for your kids as well. I believe your right there is no amount of money worth your life and your childrens mothers' life.
 
  • #25
Sorry to hear things are not good for you right now Brooke. I hope you find the strengh to change what you can. I'm not in your shoes but I feel for you all the same. Take care.
 

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