Venting my Annoyance at Imitation

[peichef]

Please indulge for a minute as I need to vent. I know my vent is totally petty, but I am pretty annoyed.

We live on a new street, only a few houses. My twin DS & my DD play with 2 little girls who live 3 doors down all the time. In fact the older daughter is in my twins' class.

Theirs is a family with a lot of issues, details of which I'll spare you. Suffice it to say the Mom is a self-confessed shopaholic & these guys have little money & live well beyond their means. I am friends with the mom (& she's one of my recruits) so I am very familiar with their situations.

So here is my beef. We are not a family that believes in over indulging our kids. They get gifts at Christmas, birthdays & that's pretty much it. They get a $2 / wk allowance (when I remember). They are well loved & taken care of, but not spoiled.

My kids LOVE webkinz. Love the website, but love the creatures even more. They are pretty much all they play with. So for finishing their school year I got each of my boys 2 Webkinz. Of course, they boys had picked them out over the past few weeks (& I kept them in my closet til today) so they knew they were getting them & told their friends.

Doesn't neighbour mom go & buy each of her girls 3 webkinz each. (Just to "out-do" me.) So that annoys me a bit. But, everytime my kids get a new webkinz (for a gift or they save up $) her girls go out 7 get the EXACT SAME ONES! EVERY TIME!!!!

See. I know. So petty. But I feel as though they take away the "specialness" of the gifts my kids get.

Now I know that imitation is a form of flattery. But it is getting ridiculous. I mention that we're going out for supper as a family & lo and behold, who do we run into at the restaurant!?!?

Thanks for letting me vent. I just could hardly even pretend to be excited for the girls when they rang my doorbell to show me their new webkinz -- all the same ones my 3 kids have recently received (& hard to find ones, at that, which made my 3 feel even more special. So much for that.)

Sorry I am so petty. But after 1 yr of having my every parenting move copied
I am a little pi$$ed.

 

[sklay723]

I can't blame you for feeling that way...I have a friend who does the same thing with us. Unfortunately there's no real way to put a stop to your friend's behavior without ruffling some major feathers.

I know it's a while yet, but maybe just knowing that your children will grow up to be well rounded and kind, while hers will be spoiled rotten and bratty, will ease your mind a bit? The friend I have already has VERY spoiled kids...I can only imagine how bad things will get as they grow up.

 

[kisrae]

I understand...been there. I use to thinkg it takes away from your kids how special it was. But trust me your kids will see right though it. With a mom who cares like you.

 

[rennea]

I would share less "inside" information with this family, that way they don't run around trying to "out due" yours. If they don't know were your going out to eat, you won't run into them etc.

 

[pamperedlinda]

I'll have to agree with Rennea. I think I'd avoid them for a while, maybe she'll get the hint (probably not though).

 

[KellyTheChef]

Ugh. I know in the grand scheme of life, it may not be a "big deal" but it *IS* a big deal! Especially when kids are involved. Sorry that lady is hurting for attention/love/specialness with her kids that she feels she needs to take away from the specialness for YOUR kids. I feel for ya!

 

[stefani2]

Maybe try NOT sharing anything with her for a while - DON'T tell her you are going out for supper.

She obviously have self esteem and self image issues that she feels she has to keep up to you. She is jealous of you - that is why she feels she needs to be the same. Glad you came here to vent - I would think that trying to talk to someone like that - it isn't going to go over well.

Well - I guess you are just TOO FABULOUS - and that is why she is imitating you. It is her issue and I kinda feel sorry for her --- how sad.

 

[stefani2]

BTW, I would be POed too if this was happening to me!

 

[sklay723]

Maybe try NOT sharing anything with her for a while - DON'T tell her you are going out for supper.

She obviously have self esteem and self image issues that she feels she has to keep up to you. She is jealous of you - that is why she feels she needs to be the same. Glad you came here to vent - I would think that trying to talk to someone like that - it isn't going to go over well.

Well - I guess you are just TOO FABULOUS - and that is why she is imitating you. It is her issue and I kinda feel sorry for her --- how sad.

Is it evil that I would take it a step further? I would mess with her and tell her we are planning on going to restaurant A, and then I would just go to restaurant B instead. Then when she says, "Where were you?" you can just say, "Well, we changed our minds and went elsewhere." Then if she comments on it, just say something about how you didn't realize she felt the need to go to the same restaurant as you. I guess that's kind of mean, but what she's doing to you isn't any nicer.

 

[stefani2]

Skyla - that IS evil and VERY funny - LOL.

HTH is up with her NEEDING to imitate someone else - MAJOR ISSUES! It makes it even WORSE to have a Recruit that is doing it!

 

[cmdtrgd]

Heck, go a step further and let her know you are getting the kids a webkinz that is the most difficult to get...and she can't tell the kids because it is a surprise if they do something/be some way for a certain amount of time...Heh, she will go crazy trying to get it and will leave you alone for a while!

 

[raebates]

Once or twice, I'd be flattered. As a pattern of behavior, I'd be ticked. Sounds like this is a pattern of behavior with your neighbor.

I know you realize on an intellectual level that this isn't a big deal in the whole scheme of life. However, we aren't talking about intellectual stuff here. We're talking feelings. And, you, my dear, have every right to be upset, especially since it's spilling over onto your children. I have no solutions for you, just a willing ear when you need to vent a bit about this woman. Yes, denying her inside information may sound good, but if you're like me that isn't likely to happen. Plus, your kids will still share their "I got something cool" moments with her kids.

One day this will come back to bite her in the tushie. Until then, just picture that future event and smile knowingly.

 

[hollye44]

Karma will come back to her. It always does. But is there a bigger issue here? I wonder if there is some way you could help her with her problems so that she doesn't have to try to be the way she is. There may not be, I'm just thinking out loud here. Also, you might want to have your kids put their names on their Webkinz somehow, just so they don't get mixed up with their friends', you know, so if the other kid's Webkinz get messed up they don't do a switcharoo.

 

[peichef]

Thanks ladies I feel a little less petty after you have all reassured me. (My husband thought I was being a little silly when I told him I was upset.) I don't have a habit of telling her things, but my kids do. They are with her kids all the time. I took my kids to visit my parents for the weekend & then forgot I posted this until my kids just mentioned webkinz & being "copycatted" by the neighbours. I asked them last Fri if it bugs them that they are always being "copycatted" and they said no. This morning at breakfast, they were talking a different tune & plotting ways to avoid being copied. Or, maybe turning the tables & copying them instead. (Rest assured, I told them that wasn't a nice idea. Tempting, but not nice & I can't keep up with the mom's spending.)Too funny, though... on our drive back home on Sunday, one of my boys piped up with the news that the neighbours bought a splash pool. (I bought one for my kids a couple of weeks ago. It's little but has a slide & sprinkler & ring toss, etc). "Neighbour mom" told me last week she was going to buy a small one so her 2 yr old didn't feel left out while the bigger kids played in mine.) So my boys ask me "do you thin theirs is bigger or smaller than ours??" (Hmmm.. let me guess.) Well, of course... theirs is bigger. ("How did you know?" asked the boys. Duh, let me see...)Thanks again, ladies. you guys are the best

 

[PChefPEI]

LOL! Some of you guys ARE evil....hehe....Love it! Sorry you're going through this, Charity. That would be pretty annoying!! Sounds like your kids are pretty smart too! Don't worry, your neighbour/friend/recruit will get her day!