Struggling with Sleepless 18 Month Old: Tips for Exhausted Parents

[KellyTheChef]

Oh my goodness, I am going to pull my hair out! My 18 month old little boy has been sleeping (basically) through the night for as long as I can remember. Even when I was nursing him, and even since I have finished nursing him overnight, if he wakes up and gets crying hard enough that I know he isn't going to fall back asleep, all I had to do was go in his room and lay him back down and cover him back up and say "good night" and walk out. He would then go back to sleep.

For the past week, he will NOT do that! Neither over night, nor at naptime! Let me tell you just how little he has slept in the past 24-48 hours: Saturday overnight, he woke up at 3 AM and never went back to sleep. I laid him down for a nap at 9am, and had to keep going back in and laying him down (doing the SuperNanny thing....first time kisses and goodnight, second time goodnight, third time say nothing but continue to lay him back down) and he didn't fall asleep till about 9:45. Then, he slept for about 2.5 hours. Whew! Knowing he was still dead tired, I tried to lay him down in the afternoon and it took about 1.5 hours to get him down and he slept for about 45 minutes!! Ugh.

So, Sunday night comes and he goes to bed at 8 like normal, and actually sleeps through but wakes up at 5:15 and WILL NOT go back to sleep. He took about a 1.5 hour nap around 9:30 AM and would NOT take another nap in the afternoon. (Even though he was dead tired.)

Monday night comes, he goes to bed at 8 and wakes up at 10:20 and thinks he is staying up. This time I do the SuperNanny thing, but I am waiting in between going in to him. First time I wait 5 minutes, second 10, third 15, 4th 20 minutes. Now, he woke up again at 4am and I am doing the SuperNanny thing again. I waited 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes and now he is sleeping (or at least he is not crying... )

Has anyone else had to cope with a little one like this? My husband keeps telling me that he is too young to understand what I am doing. (Basically thinks I am being mean by letting him cry and cry.) I do NOT want to start the sleeping with us thing. We did that with our 12 yo. son (because we felt bad for him, since my husband and his mom were divorced when he was 2) and that was a pain for YEARS. HELP!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Welcome to third shift. I guess there's two of us on dogwatch tonight.

 

[jwpamp]

wow, welcome to the terrible twos!

Mine are 25, 24 and 16, so I am way past this stage, but are you keeping him up and involved through the day, and keeping him away from a lot of mental stimulation before bed (ie: TV, playing, etc?). A lot of times the mental stimulation within an hour or so of bedtime will keep their minds going thru the night and it's hard for them to hit REM. That is why a nice quiet book before bedtime is a good thing.

And even though your exhausted, DON'T let him take a 2.5 hour nap in the morning! He won't ever sleep through the night because his internal clock will be messed up!

And for goodness sake, don't let him sleep with you! That is just wrong!

A nice warm bath with lavendar soap will do wonders, too. but like I said, welcome to the terrible twos!

And how can I answer this in the middle of the night? I am at the other end of the spectrum....gotta love the changes of life!

 

[ange13]

my child has been like that pretty much all the time. some times i just let her go until she drops! other times I try to force her to sleep-never works. most of the time I run my errands and then she'll fall asleep in the car.

the overnight thing---augh, totally understand! it is very frustrating and I can't say I know any magic trick except that I will stand in her closet and hang up her clothes when she fights it, play a baby einstein cd, and eventually she falls asleep. or sometimes (especially when she is sick) I lay on the floor in her room and she will fall asleep-but i don't recommend that!

i tried the nanny thing-never worked--she would always cry until she made herself puke--not worth the clean up

by the way, she is 2y and 4mo. back to sleeping thru the night, but to bed at 9 or 10 and up by 6!!!!! and most of the time no nap or only 30min during the day. talk about no sleep

good luck

 

[quiverfull7]

By any chance could he have an ear infection?

 

[tiffanypc05]

definitely keep him on a routine, if my little girl(16 months) gets off her routine she doesn't want to take naps, go to bed, etc.

Also, if he's not sleeping you may want to check and see if he's got an ear infection like quiverfull7 said. My little one always gets like that when she's got one.

HTH

 

[KellyTheChef]

Thanks for the advice...I thought about the ear infection thing last night, but he is fine when he is up during the day (not crying, not pulling at ear, no fever, etc.) and he will stop crying if I am in the room. I really think it is a seperation thing right now.

Another thing that is setting him off is we are getting ready to move and right now I am driving my 12yo. to school every morning. (He is attending the school that he would be going to once we get moved.) So, I have to get him up at 6AM during the week.

I know that this is a season and it will pass. I just have to keep telling myself that!

 

[mbh06]

Has he gotten his molars yet?? I know my son has been getting a ton of teeth right now (almost 17 months old) and he is so cranky and can hardly sleep. The bath w/ lavender is a great idea. Let him splash his little heart out. Also if he is teething those teething tablets are life savers (I give them out as shower gifts to everyone I know) I agree by not letting him sleep w/ you, but I can not let my son cry himselft to sleep b/c I feel bad and for my own sanity. I think that by leaving them alone it only makes things worse and they will end up clinging to you worse. (but that's my opinion) When my son won't sleep we lay out a big blanket on the floor turn off all the lights and let him play until he wears himselft out and he curls up on the blanket. Maybe one of these suggestions will help, I hope. Good luck!
Melissa

 

[supergirljennie]

I think there are worse things than letting them sleep with you. Both my 5yo and 2yo have slept with my husband and me, and they sleep by themselves now. Occasionally when they are sick it helps them feel better to sleep with us. They are small for just a little while.

I absolutely agree with the Teething Tablets, though. They are fantastic!

I know that my kids sleeping patterns get messed up when they are going through a growth spurt. It's most likely a temporary thing, but at the time it always feels like forever! Good luck!

 

[gilliandanielle]

I have a 17 month old boy and he is peaking his separation anxiety. I think this might be what your son is going through. I think as long as you are firm about not wanting him in your bed forever and can face him when he feels better it is okay to have him in your bed for a week or two to reassure him that you aren't leaving!

 

[KellyTheChef]

I absolutely agree with the Teething Tablets, though. They are fantastic!

What are these? Just the plastic teethers with water in them? Or something else? He does NOT have his molars yet...I will have to look to see if I can see them under his gums. That would make sense to me, too!

 

[supergirljennie]

Here's the link:

http://hylands.com/products/teething.php

We've found them at Walmart, Kroger, and Walgreens, in the pharmacy or baby section. They're little disolving tablets you put under the baby's tongue. They really work! They'll help him sleep. Hope that helps!

 

[mbh06]

Plus I always give my son Motrin when he's teething for some extra support. I think it is funny how so many parents now want their children to be independent and absolulty won't let them sleep w/ you. Well my son slept w/ off and on (when he was sick, when I was exhausted, etc.) But not on an every day occasion. But now he will not sleep with me at all. I try to snuggle w/ him for naps and he won't have it. SO much for the don't spoil your baby theory! I figure it's your child and you should care for them in the way that works for you. So Kelly, don't worry about being like the supernannny none of us will care if you let your little one snuggle up next to you. )

 

[ChefJesssica]

Is his bed big enough for you to sleep in to? My son went through that at about 18 months and I just would lay down with him. If I fell asleep, no big deal. When he would fall asleep, I would just go lay back down in my bed. There were a few nights where I spent the whole night with him, but here he is at 2 1/2 and he LOVES sleeping in his own bed. I dont believe in the latting babies cry thing, babies cry for a reason and maybe he just needs you to lay down with him.

 

[DZmom]

Both my children switched from 2 shorter naps to 1 LONG nap at around 18 months. Try laying him down later in the day. When my daughter gets up at 5:30, I lay her down at about 11:30. She'll sleep until about 2 or 2:30 and then to bed about 8 or 8:30. When this started happening with our 2I looked up info on sleep schedules at babycenter.com. They give you a great idea of how much sleep a baby needs and in what doses.

Here's what Baby Center says:
Typical sleep at this age
Between their second and third birthdays, toddlers need about 11 to 12 hours of sleep a night and a single hour-and-a-half to two-hour nap each afternoon. Most children this age go to bed sometime between 7 and 9 p.m. and get up between 6:30 and 8 a.m. It may seem that your child's sleep patterns finally resemble yours, but he'll spend more time than you do in REM sleep and the deeper stages of non-REM sleep. The result? Because he'll be making more transitions from one sleep phase to the other, he'll wake up more often than you do. That's why it's so important that he learn how to soothe himself back to sleep.

HTH

 

[apriljc]

This too shall pass. My 3y old still wakes up, well sometimes. At first I just let him crawl in bed with us and than I decided that he could sleep in his own bed and so I would carry him back to bed. Now if he wakes up in the middle of the night he lays on our floor by the bed. Sometimes he might crawl in bed with us, but not very often.
I have found that one thing that works good for my boys to quite down and fall asleep better is playing music in their room, relaxing music. They love it. I figure they are only little once.

 

[lizcooks4u]

sleeping with parents...

Oh my goodness, I am going to pull my hair out! My 18 month old little boy has been sleeping (basically) through the night for as long as I can remember. Even when I was nursing him, and even since I have finished nursing him overnight, if he wakes up and gets crying hard enough that I know he isn't going to fall back asleep, all I had to do was go in his room and lay him back down and cover him back up and say "good night" and walk out. He would then go back to sleep.

For the past week, he will NOT do that! Neither over night, nor at naptime! Let me tell you just how little he has slept in the past 24-48 hours: Saturday overnight, he woke up at 3 AM and never went back to sleep. I laid him down for a nap at 9am, and had to keep going back in and laying him down (doing the SuperNanny thing....first time kisses and goodnight, second time goodnight, third time say nothing but continue to lay him back down) and he didn't fall asleep till about 9:45. Then, he slept for about 2.5 hours. Whew! Knowing he was still dead tired, I tried to lay him down in the afternoon and it took about 1.5 hours to get him down and he slept for about 45 minutes!! Ugh.

So, Sunday night comes and he goes to bed at 8 like normal, and actually sleeps through but wakes up at 5:15 and WILL NOT go back to sleep. He took about a 1.5 hour nap around 9:30 AM and would NOT take another nap in the afternoon. (Even though he was dead tired.)

Monday night comes, he goes to bed at 8 and wakes up at 10:20 and thinks he is staying up. This time I do the SuperNanny thing, but I am waiting in between going in to him. First time I wait 5 minutes, second 10, third 15, 4th 20 minutes. Now, he woke up again at 4am and I am doing the SuperNanny thing again. I waited 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes and now he is sleeping (or at least he is not crying... )

Has anyone else had to cope with a little one like this? My husband keeps telling me that he is too young to understand what I am doing. (Basically thinks I am being mean by letting him cry and cry.) I do NOT want to start the sleeping with us thing. We did that with our 12 yo. son (because we felt bad for him, since my husband and his mom were divorced when he was 2) and that was a pain for YEARS. HELP!

Many times babies are rolled upon by accident, some even die. So what's wrong for some, may be just a difference of opinion. We pretty much only slept with our parents when we were sick.

I currently code Hospital Medical Records as my day job and you'd be surprised at the types of things I see. So many parents don't think of some of the little things and end up losing their precious babies.

Also most are concerned about babies drowning in bathtubs and never think of the water in buckets used for mopping.

I'm not trying to scare anyone, but I try not to be judgemental either, just pointing out why some people think things are wrong. I also took a bath with my little brother when we were small and some people have major problems with that as well.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[DZmom]

As a nursing mother both my children ended up in bed with me, before the end of every night. My son slept with us until he was 3, I wanted to make sure that our daughter didn't stay in our bed for that long. She slept in our room until about 3 or 4 months. Then we moved her to her room. She still ended up in bed with us at night. I tried to just sit in the glider and nurse her, but that never worked out for us.

 

[tiffanypc05]

My little girl has only slept in our a few nights she since she was born. My little one is very independent. She's 16 months old and has 6 teeth coming in. So yours may be going through that too.

She's slept almost every night since she was 3-4 weeks old. I've really been blessed. She wasn't sleeping at all at night during her first two weeks and the doctor told me to put a teaspoon or two of baby cereal in her milk at night and it would fill her up and she'd sleep and it worked. Now she goes to sleep every night at eight and usually wakes up around 830 or 900. If I get her off of her routine for just a night or two she doesn't want to lay down at 8 the next night.

As for her sleeping in our bed, I wouldn't mind her sleeping in our bed if she's sick but for every other night, I'm not going to let her. My little sister is 10 and thinks that she's supposed to sleep in the bed with my parents.