Proper Etiquette for Pet Owners: Avoiding Unwanted Greetings and Germs

[ChefBeckyD]

One freak accident doesn't really convince me....other than I wouldn't ever leave any dog alone with a newborn!

 

[dianevill]

I know we're kind of going off topic with this but I just had to share a situation I'm really uncomfortable with. My next door neighbor, Jennie, had a baby last Monday. She also has a 2 year old dog, Stanley, a yellow lab mix that is very wild and untrained, who is REALLY her baby. He breaks out of the house often, and bites the kids in the neighborhood - as soon as he gets out we make the kids come inside. He has broken the skin on my daughter's arm and my son's head. I don't think he's really trying to be mean (no growling, tail is wagging), I think it's his way of getting attention, but still...

I went to visit Jennie on Thursday (so the baby, Ian, is now 4 days old). The dog was obviously jealous, jumping on me and Jennie trying to get at the baby. Jennie just poo-pooed it and said Ian would need to get used to Stanley. When I'm getting ready to leave, Jennie was starting dinner so I asked her where I should put Ian. She said on the floor. I asked her about Stanley and she said Stanley wouldn't bother him. Very uncomfortable, I started to put Ian down and Stanley immediatey went for him, licking his face. I told Jennie I couldn't put him down - I was uncomfortable with Stanley, and she was kind of irritated with me and said, "Fine, just put him in his crib." I did, and left, but I'm worried that she's doing exactly what she wanted me to do, putting the baby on the floor, and I'm just waiting for that day when the ambulance comes racing up to their house.

The sad thing is that her husband's a cop, and he has the same attitude...The other day he left the baby in the house while he mowed the lawn. I just don't get it...

 

[ahammons]

I don't blame you for being uncomfortable about that! That's pretty scary!

 

[Brandie]

One of the problems with pit bulls is their jaw and tooth construction, to my understanding. I believe they have one of the strongest bites--some insane amount of pounds per square inch of pressure, and their jaws "lock," if I understand correctly, so that you can't get them pried apart once they have bitten down unless they want to let go. Every breed can be dangerous in some way--and I agree that it is mostly an issue of training, socialization, and treatment of the animal.

When we bought our German Shepherd, we were told that she would learn anything very quickly (which she does), but she might not tolerate reprimands and positive reinforment was the best method of training her. We would swat her lightly with a newspaper when she had accidents in the house, but otherwise, we've trained entirely with positive reinforcement, and she's a jewel (as long as you are human and you are supposed to be in our home ). She a fantastic watch/guard dog. We do put her in her area when there are other kids around, however, because her protective nature could be a problem if the kids are rough-housing.

I have found this thread completely fascinating. I can relate to many of the opinions--even some of the non-animal-lover ones. Most people are willing to put a dog or other animal away if a guest is uncomfortable. I know I am, and I know most of my animal-owning friends and family are, too.

 

[katie0128]

The sad thing is that her husband's a cop, and he has the same attitude...The other day he left the baby in the house while he mowed the lawn. I just don't get it...

"The other day" ... the baby is only a few days old!!! Did the dad have a monitor on for the baby and a receiver with him? I have done this with my kids - them in their crib, monitor on and me outside with the receiver so I can hear them. But I would NEVER mow the lawn... too much a chance that I wouldn't hear the monitor.

I KNOW I am going to be opening a new can of worms with this comment, but this is something I am VERY passionate about. I have seen TOO many kids come through the ED with injuries that were completely preventable caused by lack of supervision from parents/babysitters/guardians/etc... and unfortunately, not all of these little ones have survived. If you see ANYTHING like this again and you get that "sick-to-your-stomach / somthing-isn't-right" feeling, I would call the local child abuse/neglect hotline. I would rather take the chance of being wrong and having the neighbor never speak to me again than to not do anything and have something happen to the baby! I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of "what if I called when...".

O.k... down off my soap box here...

 

[pamperedbecky]

" If you see ANYTHING like this again and you get that "sick-to-your-stomach / somthing-isn't-right" feeling, I would call the local child abuse/neglect hotline. I would rather take the chance of being wrong and having the neighbor never speak to me again than to not do anything and have something happen to the baby! I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of "what if I called when...".

O.k... down off my soap box here...

I'm a mandated reporter because of my other profession (although I consider myself "retired" or on a sabbatical because I'd much rather do PC at the moment ), and luckily I have never had to make a hotline call other than within the parameters of my old job, but I would if I had to!! Some of the things I hear in the news or wherever make me so mad and I wished someone had called the abuse/neglect hotline.

 

[rennea]

I know we're kind of going off topic with this but I just had to share a situation I'm really uncomfortable with. My next door neighbor, Jennie, had a baby last Monday. She also has a 2 year old dog, Stanley, a yellow lab mix that is very wild and untrained, who is REALLY her baby. He breaks out of the house often, and bites the kids in the neighborhood - as soon as he gets out we make the kids come inside. He has broken the skin on my daughter's arm and my son's head. I don't think he's really trying to be mean (no growling, tail is wagging), I think it's his way of getting attention, but still...

I went to visit Jennie on Thursday (so the baby, Ian, is now 4 days old). The dog was obviously jealous, jumping on me and Jennie trying to get at the baby. Jennie just poo-pooed it and said Ian would need to get used to Stanley. When I'm getting ready to leave, Jennie was starting dinner so I asked her where I should put Ian. She said on the floor. I asked her about Stanley and she said Stanley wouldn't bother him. Very uncomfortable, I started to put Ian down and Stanley immediatey went for him, licking his face. I told Jennie I couldn't put him down - I was uncomfortable with Stanley, and she was kind of irritated with me and said, "Fine, just put him in his crib." I did, and left, but I'm worried that she's doing exactly what she wanted me to do, putting the baby on the floor, and I'm just waiting for that day when the ambulance comes racing up to their house.

The sad thing is that her husband's a cop, and he has the same attitude...The other day he left the baby in the house while he mowed the lawn. I just don't get it...

Gives my goose bumps, hope nothing ever happens to that little baby Who the heck leave a newborn alone!!! Crazy!!

 

[Chef Kearns]

The same folks that don't put their dog away when people come over. You have to remember that these pets are animals first. They will return to their nature.

 

[PamperChefCarol]

Some of those on the list are surprising - Golden Retriever?
But as far as Pit Bulls go.......I would NEVER let my son around one. You here about attacks too often, and I know some say it's all in how they are raised - but it seems to me that often, after the attack, the owners are mystified "We can't understand - he's always been so gentle - just like part of our family...." Yep - they are all gentle - until they attack a small child. It only takes once, and I don't want my child to be that "once".

Golden Retrievers won't hurt anyone.... ok, maybe they will kiss you to death but that's about it!!

 

[Brandie]

Wrong"The same folks that don't put their dog away when people come over. You have to remember that these pets are animals first. They will return to their nature."

Entirely not related--it takes poor parenting skills to leave a newborn alone outside of a safe crib environment, with or without an animal present. Just because you love your pets and leave them out when company comes over, that doesn't mean you have poor parenting skills. That's just ridiculous.

Most pet owners know that leaving a baby alone with any dog, cat, or other pet is a liability, so they don't do it. I'm one of those pet owners, and I take offense to the notion that because I love my pets I would be equated with a negligent parent. Nonsense.

 

[katie0128]

"The same folks that don't put their dog away when people come over. You have to remember that these pets are animals first. They will return to their nature."

Entirely not related--it takes poor parenting skills to leave a newborn alone outside of a safe crib environment, with or without an animal present. Just because you love your pets and leave them out when company comes over, that doesn't mean you have poor parenting skills. That's just ridiculous.

Most pet owners know that leaving a baby alone with any dog, cat, or other pet is a liability, so they don't do it. I'm one of those pet owners, and I take offense to the notion that because I love my pets I would be equated with a negligent parent. Nonsense.

I agree with you completely! I don't put my cats away when we have company (of course, they are scared of most people and they hid anyway), but I NEVER left my babies alone in a room where the cats (or my mom's three dogs, or my sister's dog, etc.) could get to them. I KNOW pets are animals and have the ability to revert to their inborn instincts, regardless of how well trained they are.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I agree with you completely! I don't put my cats away when we have company (of course, they are scared of most people and they hid anyway), but I NEVER left my babies alone in a room where the cats (or my mom's three dogs, or my sister's dog, etc.) could get to them. I KNOW pets are animals and have the ability to revert to their inborn instincts, regardless of how well trained they are.

Totally agree! When DS was born, our dog was 15, mostly blind and deaf....and our cat was 13......we STILL never left them in a room alone with him! They weren't allowed to come near his face etc.....and the cat was shut out of his room at night, so she couldn't jump in the crib to "investigate".......I think allowing a BIG (and obviously untrained) dog near a newborn really borders on child endangerment, adn I really can't believe that a Police Officer would be that lax! He has to have seen child neglect and abuse in his job! Leaving a newborn alone in a house? I didn't do that even to go get the mail!

 

[katie0128]

Totally agree! When DS was born, our dog was 15, mostly blind and deaf....and our cat was 13......we STILL never left them in a room alone with him! They weren't allowed to come near his face etc.....and the cat was shut out of his room at night, so she couldn't jump in the crib to "investigate".......I think allowing a BIG (and obviously untrained) dog near a newborn really borders on child endangerment, adn I really can't believe that a Police Officer would be that lax! He has to have seen child neglect and abuse in his job! Leaving a newborn alone in a house? I didn't do that even to go get the mail!

You'd be surprised at the number of "lax" cops and paramedics there are! Of course there are MANY, MANY, MANY, MANY, MANY more that are conscientious (that's doesn't look right, oh well), but just having that job doesn't mean you think clearly at home. We have a family that lives down the street from us - his is a medic for a fire department and she is a teacher and their two DDs are the most UNSUPERVISED kids I have ever seen. Someone finally called 241-KIDS (our absue hotline) when the youngest - 5yo at the time - was out at about 7p looking for the older one (7yo) because they didn't know where she was... AND BOTH PARENTS WERE AT HOME!!!!! Two sherrifs came to their home and questioned them. Both girls eventually returned home and were closely supervised for about 9 months, but are back to wandering as they please all over the neighborhood. Makes me sick to think that if I called 911 this guy could very well respond. I'm not sure I would trust his judgement after knowing what happens at home.

 

[Chef Kearns]

Apparently I have to clarify my statement. I meant that the people that view their pets are part of the family and are to be treated as such don't see a problem when brother pooch is up the the baby's face. I've seen it a ton of times. The baby will be strapped in the carrier (at the playground) or stroller and the family pet will run up and lick all in the baby's face. How many many times have we heard about a lick turning into a bite? Fido never bit before...just the one time he ripped the baby's face off. Did ya'll watch that Oprah? Husbands Dalmation almost tore the baby's nose off. And the idiot blamed the baby!!! She was only 2 years old, but it was her fault.

Common sense says to not leave a baby unattended. Yes, those of you with pets that followed that are not bad parents. However; to me, common sense also says that there needs to be boundaries between the house pet and the humans. They are not one in the same and shouldn't be treated as such.

 

[katie0128]

Apparently I have to clarify my statement. I meant that the people that view their pets are part of the family and are to be treated as such don't see a problem when brother pooch is up the the baby's face. I've seen it a ton of times. The baby will be strapped in the carrier (at the playground) or stroller and the family pet will run up and lick all in the baby's face. How many many times have we heard about a lick turning into a bite? Fido never bit before...just the one time he ripped the baby's face off. Did ya'll watch that Oprah? Husbands Dalmation almost tore the baby's nose off. And the idiot blamed the baby!!! She was only 2 years old, but it was her fault.

Common sense says to not leave a baby unattended. Yes, those of you with pets that followed that are not bad parents. However; to me, common sense also says that there needs to be boundaries between the house pet and the humans. They are not one in the same and shouldn't be treated as such.

O.k., this explaination makes more sense. Still don't totally agree with you about pets needing to be put away when company comes, but I'm glad to know that you don't think those of us that don't put our pets away are automatically bad parents. I don't mind not agreeing about boundaries with pets, but I get a bit touchy when I think people are telling me I'm a bad parent. Thanks for clarifying!
And now back to the regularly scheduled debate about pets already in progress!

 

[rennea]

Apparently I have to clarify my statement. I meant that the people that view their pets are part of the family and are to be treated as such don't see a problem when brother pooch is up the the baby's face.

My pets are part of my family and are treated as such, but I'm not stupid!! Because one or even a few people do something doesn't mean everyone does. That is a whole different debate.
Just as I wouldn't leave a newborn alone with another child, I wouldn't leave a child with the "friendly" man next door. How many times have you seen that a child who was left with that "friendly" man next door scared for life. I guess all parents would do this RIGHT?
Common sense!

OK now I'm not letting these kind of comments get to me, I don't care what somebody think of me cause my heart is big and I love my babies with everything in my heart. There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for them and I'm not ashamed of this. When times have been tuff in my life I have always had that special friend to be there and make me smile and thats all I need Now Rufus, Ruby, and my little baby Sassy need a love and a treat!

 

[Brandie]

My dogs were my child-substitutes when I was dealing with infertility issues and miscarriage issues. They were there when I needed them, and they are still here today now that I have two beautiful (human) daughters. They always could sense when things weren't going well and they seemed to know just how to react to help me out.

I know it's hard for someone who is not an animal-lover to understand the bond between human animal and canine (or other) animal, and that's why this debate is so heated. If you don't like animals, it's hard to fathom how people treat them as family; on the flip side, if you love animals, it's hard to fathom how anyone could dislike them.

I got cranky earlier because the statment made seemed to imply that animal lovers were akin to child abusers (or at least negligent parents), which simply isn't true. Morons are morons whether or not they have pets. Good parents are good parents whether or not they have pets. I will say this, though: having my dogs before I became a parent really taught me a lot about patience and compassion--two things that are tremendously important in parenting!

 

[rennea]

Morons are morons whether or not they have pets.

Thanks, well said

 

[katie0128]

Morons are morons whether or not they have pets. Good parents are good parents whether or not they have pets.

What a perfect way to sum it up! I completely agree! (And it made me laugh.)

 

[janetupnorth]

Wow, read half this thread then gave up...whew...I'm tired now.

Anyway, have to chime in with a funny story my mom always used to tell us...

When she was little and lived in Illinois, they had a neighbor who had a relative who always would "magically" show up around dinnertime to visit and just stick around for dinner. She'd never bring anything, offer to pay, help clean up, etc., etc. (Of course this was in the 1940's or 50's but still that was overbearing). Anyway, after months of trying to tell her they were busy, wanted family time, hinting, then bluntly asking her to not come at dinner and still having her come they came up with a plan...

Next time, they finished dinner and before she could "conveniently" excuse herself to the other room and avoid dish duty after imposing on another meal, the husband bent down, let the dog lick his plate then got up and put it in the cupboard. The lady (uninvited guest) cringed and the wife did the same. The lady then cringed again and said, "Don't you wash them afterwards?" The husband said, "Why, don't you know how clean a dog's mouth is? We're sure it is fine, we've never gotten sick and it saves on water since our food bills are high."

Needless to say, the lady NEVER showed up uninvited around dinner again! Of course, the couple had to go wash all their plates and silverware in their cupboards but agreed the time was well worth it...and having a dog saved their sanity.

 

[MissChef]

that was pretty darn funny Janet! What a great story! Sounds like something my Dad would come up with! Trying to get my mother to jump on board might be hard cause she's a clean freak. She would have had to taken out every dish in the house and SCRUBBED IT TWICE! !!! LOL!

 

[janetupnorth]

My mom did say that they emphasized that they took ALL the plates, etc. out and washed them before the next meal.

 

[MissChef]

I'm talking about dishes in cabinets across the room!!!!! She is that bad! My Dad says she is obsessed with cleaning and that it has become so bad now that us kids are gone. He playfully says she has a disorder!
This actually freaks me out a little because I just can hear her when she's at home with my Dad after she visits here! I am not the cleanest person! I am most definetely not a slob BUT I will let the dishes go after dinner and play with my kids and do them at 11:00 at night when eveyone goes to bed! My office is pretty scarey looking and I just sometimes don't care that things aren't real clean cause I'd rather be enjoying my kids while they are young!
Now don't get me wrong.... I do have a nice looking home most of the time! I just don't care to always be cleaning! I clean cause I have to, not cause I want to! My Mom is very opinionated and she likes to gossip and although I love her dearly, I dread when she comes here cause she makes me feel like a slob. She follows behind me cleaning everything and she freaks my kids and hubby out. We end up spending a lot of money eating out so that my hubby doesn't have to see me miserable! I love that man!

 

[naekelsey]

I have 2 little dogs and a cat. The cat doesn't go around anyone. 1 dog is overly friendly and the other is friendly but to only certain people. ( he was extremely abused by his past, first, owners. So we have worked with him to get him over his "issues") I am also one who can not stand the sniffing of human parts. We do not allow it in our home plus respect that some people may be allergic or just plain don't like animals. Everyone is also told they are a part of the family.

I have done some extended reading in dogs so I can be better prepared as an owner. I would recommend the Cesar Millan book "The Natual, Everyday Guide to Understanding and Correcting Common Dog Problems" and the Tamar Geller book "The Loved Dog".

One of the huge thing I learned is that humans have (numbers will be off but hope you get the idea) 5000 smell recepters in the there noses, dogs have 20,000 smell recepters in there noses. The dogs "sniffing" you is there way of meeting you. They do this just like we shake hands. Everyone has there own smell. Plus they can "sense smell" what kind of a person you are, determining if you are someone to be affraid of or someone to be friends with. (learned lots of other things but to many to list)

I am not at all saying that everyone should be okay with the "sniffing" and that owners shouldn't stop there dogs from "sniffing" but it has made it easier for me to understand why they all dogs feel the need to do this.

 

[katie0128]

I read something like this one time, which also said that dogs like to stick their heads out of the windows of moving cars... with all the smells rushing past it is like an orgasm for them! Next time you are on the highway and see a dog with it's head out the window, think of this and it will make you giggle!

 

[evk1972]

If we're talking about God here, He did say humans were to rule over animals, not the other way around. We are to love people. God never says we have to love animals. And I'm not saying we have the right to be mean to them, either. People come first, in my opinion.

Are you serious????

 

[nikked]

Are you serious????

This thread was from 2007...let's let "sleeping dogs lie"...

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Are you serious????

Ummm, yeah - nothing like digging up a 3.5 year old post to be indignant about....let's keep it current, okay?