Need Sarcastic Replies for Office Lighting Questions? Let Me Help!

[raebates]

I'm currently working a temp job as a receptionist. My desk faces the accounting department. The women in the accounting department have decided that they like the "mood lighting" of having just the decorative lights on, so they are leaving the overhead lights off.

My problem is that people come in, stop at my desk, and ask, "Why are the lights out?"

The truth is boring and I'm beginning to feel like a broken record. (If you're too young to remember records, ask your mom what they were. )

So, I'm looking for responses to the question. No sexual connotations or profanity allowed. (I know; I've just eliminated half of the really good ones.)

So, cheffers, can you help a girl out?

 

[ChefAggi]

I'm currently working a temp job as a receptionist. My desk faces the accounting department. The women in the accounting department have decided that they like the "mood lighting" of having just the decorative lights on, so they are leaving the overhead lights off.

My problem is that people come in, stop at my desk, and ask, "Why are the lights out?"

The truth is boring and I'm beginning to feel like a broken record. (If you're too young to remember records, ask your mom what they were. )

So, I'm looking for responses to the question. No sexual connotations or profanity allowed. (I know; I've just eliminated half of the really good ones.)

So, cheffers, can you help a girl out?

The company didnt' keep up on their light bill and so power was cut back to working by the lights of the Christmas tree!

 

[chefann]

We're doing our part to conserve electricity.
Didn't you know? Everyone looks better in the glow from a computer monitor.
We're working toward our "save the environment" merit badge.
The monkey who changes the lightbulbs called in sick.

 

[jrstephens]

The lights are out, I hadn't noticed that!

We have a call in to the power company but they said it could be days.

We're preparing ourselves for a blackout. Our eyes will be adjusted better now if it happens.

The company said the only way we could get a raise, was if we found ways to conserve energy.

The buzzing of the lights was getting on our nerves so we turned them off.

 

[mpkegley]

We are going "Green!" The thing is, some people probably don't know what the means and then you would just have to explain even further....

 

[lkprescott]

Ask someone in accounting, they always seem to sum things up pretty well.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Just tell them the truth.....the bi-atches who count the money like it this way....

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

We do our best work in the dark. (Hmmm, maybe not.)
How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb? Obviously, none.
We sold most of our carbon credits and have to make up for them.
That's the mushroom department. (Let them fill in the punchline to this chestnut.)
They can't use candles because we're not allowed to play with matches.

 

[missyciccolella]

How about bringing in a bell, and every time someone asks about the lights - ring the bell obnoxiously and yell, "we got another light question girls! What's the tally up to?"

And yes I know what a record player is...I still own one and records too!

 

[raebates]

Thanks. I plan to use several of these responses.Keep 'em coming.

 

[stacywhitlow]

How about bringing in a bell, and every time someone asks about the lights - ring the bell obnoxiously and yell, "we got another light question girls! What's the tally up to?"

And yes I know what a record player is...I still own one and records too!

That is too funny!

 

[PCJenni]

I don't want to scare you off with what I really look like!

 

[janetupnorth]

You think they'd let us launder money in the daylight? (Although that might cross the line - someone MIGHT believe it...)We shut off the lights to save energy and increase our profit sharing...Someone made decaf. this morning...We're trying to end the stereotype of everyone being afraid of accounting and making it more "homey"...

 

[raebates]

They came up with a response of their own:Hey, if you don't like it, get the heck out!(I cleaned it up a bit for posting purposes. )

 

[Debala715]

They came up with a response of their own:

Hey, if you don't like it, get the heck out!

(I cleaned it up a bit for posting purposes. )

Having worked 15 years in the accounting department of various companies, I don't need any imagination to guess what they really said.

 

[raebates]

I love these women, but they can be real potty mouths. They also tend to over-share. I know waaaaay more about them than I should.

 

[PChefPEI]

What about - that's where we keep our gremlins. They don't like the light.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

It's the Mushroom Department.(We keep them in the dark and feed them horse sh...um...hockey.)

 

[Stampaholic1961]

My husband's responses are as follows:Made you ask!We were hoping you would think we were closed.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Ann and Jennifer are in the running for the best smart a....leck comments!

Sorry, I am a circle in a square...not much creative juices there!

 

[MissChef]

Ann and Jennifer are in the running for the best smart a....leck comments!

Sorry, I am a circle in a square...not much creative juices there!

yeah, no help hear either, but shoot, I think I'm worse then you kelly, I'm a square in a circle!LOL!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

You'e not a square, you're a box. That's quite different - and you're in the wrong thread for this discussion. There's just waaaaayyyy too much hijacking of threads around here.hehehehehehehehehehehehe

 

[MissChef]

^^ I am so glad I looked down and saw you hehehehe, KG!! Because I was thinking, "and you're talking?!, Mr. Highjack himself" LOL! Now I'm going to have to go check out that thread

 

[missyciccolella]

Someone made decaf. this morning....

I love this one!

 

[KellyTheChef]

KG...
Pst....over here...
do you year that?























Yea, I am pretty sure that is the pot calling the kettle black! LOL

Isn't that the definition of a thread on CS...one that takes an abrupt turn LEFT right after the first serious response?

I find myself more and more being the one getting things off topic here! I think you are rubbing off on the rest of us KG!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

You think they'd let us launder money in the daylight? (Although that might cross the line - someone MIGHT believe it...)

Janet...THAT was funny!

 

[chefann]

the correct thing to say is, "Hello, Kettle? This is the Pot. You're Black."



Back to the lights...
We're saving the light for after dark.
It's to establish our night vision for the revolution. Shh... I've said too much.
I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

 

[Chef Kearns]

The lights are out, I hadn't noticed that!

We have a call in to the power company but they said it could be days.

We're preparing ourselves for a blackout. Our eyes will be adjusted better now if it happens.
The company said the only way we could get a raise, was if we found ways to conserve energy.

The buzzing of the lights was getting on our nerves so we turned them off.

That is my favorite one!! I can't help you Rae, but these are funny!

Here's one: With the lights on you can see all of the roaches. With the lights off we can't see them so they aren't really here. (I know pretty lame)

 

[raebates]

They got tired of the lights being off, so they're back on now. However, I have a feeling that either tomorrow or Monday they'll decide to leave them off for a while. They've enjoyed your suggestions as much as I have--lots! They even started using a few of them.Next week is my last week here. I'll miss these people. I'm fairly certain I'll see them again, though. They tend to ask for me when they need someone.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

^^ I am so glad I looked down and saw you hehehehe, KG!! Because I was thinking, "and you're talking?!, Mr. Highjack himself" LOL! Now I'm going to have to go check out that thread

[claude raines voice] I'm shocked, shocked to learn that there is thread hijacking going on in this establishment. [/claude raines voice]

 

[janetupnorth]

You think they'd let us launder money in the daylight? (Although that might cross the line - someone MIGHT believe it...)

Janet...THAT was funny!

Thanks - goes to show engineers do have a sense of humor ONCE in awhile.

 

[janetupnorth]

Someone made decaf. this morning....

I love this one!

That was the way my morning felt...however, after 2 20 oz. bottles of coke today and running all over, I STILL feel that way!

 

[baychef]

Well, Joseph Yoder just bought the company out and because he is Amish, he doesn't believe in artificial light.

I am so NOT creative today....my tongue is bleeding profusely from biting it all day. That's because I had and administrator meeting today. Talk about psyco babble burn out. Of course, schools are made to have these strategic plans with rubrics. Let's just say the words:
Differentiated
Implementing
Collaborating
Mapping
Disaggregating
Interdisiplinary
will be on your spelling tests tomorrow I just want to cook for the kids!!:chef:

And the kids are getting into the Christmas "spirit" (AKA on everyone's nerves!!). One administrator put it best...who ever came up with this being "The Most Wonderul Time of the Year"...didn't work in education!! And when you get excited kids, they wear the adults down, then the adults get snippy, snotty, short, impolite and short tempered.

TURN THE LIGHTS ON...I WANT TO GET OUT!!!​

 

[baychef]

And who was a fan of Mad Magazine's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"? My personal favorite!!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Well, Joseph Yoder just bought the company out and because he is Amish, he doesn't believe in artificial light.

I am so NOT creative today....my tongue is bleeding profusely from biting it all day. That's because I had and administrator meeting today. Talk about psyco babble burn out. Of course, schools are made to have these strategic plans with rubrics. Let's just say the words:
Differentiated
Implementing
Collaborating
Mapping
Disaggregating
Interdisiplinary
will be on your spelling tests tomorrow I just want to cook for the kids!!:chef:

And the kids are getting into the Christmas "spirit" (AKA on everyone's nerves!!). One administrator put it best...who ever came up with this being "The Most Wonderul Time of the Year"...didn't work in education!! And when you get excited kids, they wear the adults down, then the adults get snippy, snotty, short, impolite and short tempered.

TURN THE LIGHTS ON...I WANT TO GET OUT!!!​

BINGO!

(Onscure reference to current TV spot about Buzz-word Bingo in meetings.)

And who was a fan of Mad Magazine's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"? My personal favorite!!!

ME! ME! ME!

Have an accident? No, thanks. I just had one.

Is it raining? No, I showered this morning with my clothes on.

 

[baychef]

BINGO!

(Onscure reference to current TV spot about Buzz-word Bingo in meetings.)


ME! ME! ME!

Have an accident? No, thanks. I just had one.

Is it raining? No, I showered this morning with my clothes on.

I miss those...anywhere I can find more of these? And the buzz word bingo...I love it! We have move away from the infrastructure word now, but I am sure that would fit in.

 

[lockhartkitchen]

I love Missy's bell idea. I would definitely do that!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

I miss those...anywhere I can find more of these? And the buzz word bingo...I love it! We have move away from the infrastructure word now, but I am sure that would fit in.

Q: Did you catch that fish?
A: No, I talked him into giving himself up.
A: No, I was sitting here minding my own business when the crazy thing jumped into my pail.
A: No, it's a plastic model to get people like you to start fascinating conversations.

Q: (from a woman just pulled over by a police officer) Did I do something wrong, officer?
A: No, today we're giving tickets out for doing things right.
A: No, I just got tired of lugging around these heavy summonses so I decided to give some of them away.
A: No, I'm giving a ticket to this crazy street because it's going the wrong way.

Q: (from a waiter, to a husband and wife) Table for how many?
A: A hundred and twelve -- we like to change seats every few minutes.
A: One -- my wife will sit on my shoulders.
A: I don't know -- I can't count that high, either.

Actually, Al Jaffe wrote about seven books of these, some of them are still around.

 

[itsjustCarla]

Just tell them the truth.....the bi-atches who count the money like it this way....

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!