Is This Punishment Too Extreme for an 8 Year Old?

[schel]

I am posting here and am soooooo upset with my childs day care provider "Kids Club" at the school he goes to.
Here is the story....

My son went on a field trip last week and was misbehaving and came home with his 1st note this year from Kids Club, that he was not listening and being defiant when he was supposed to be getting on the bus to go home. So he came home with a written note saying punishment is "loss of next field trip"

I am all for consequences when a child misbehaves and knows it. This however is what happened. Yesterday was the next field trip and I assumed since he had to miss the field trip, he would be staying back at the school "missing the field trip" Instead I find out, that he had to go along on the field trip and sit on a bench doing nothing for 3 hours while the other kids played. A 3 hour time out????? Thats how I see it anyways. Not at all happy with the way this played out. If I would have known that he had to go along, I would have at least sent a book to read or a workbook for him to work on while he was there. They provided nothing, only said they could talk to one another.

I then proceded to ask the pediatrition at work I work with what she thought of this and her comment was "that is extreme for a 8 year old." I then spoke with the director of Kids Club and got no where. So now have gone above her head to the Supervisor. I tell ya, if I get no where there, I WILL go to the head of the district!!!!

I am a little P.O'd if you have not guessed by now. What do you all think?
Schel

 

[KellyTheChef]

Schel~

Sounds a bit extreme to me, too. I can see if he is a continual behavior problem to them, but that doesn't seem like that is the case here! Hope you get a resolution!

 

[janetupnorth]

I'm all for punishment for actions too, but it does sound like they could have been a little clearer with the punishment to both you and your child so you knew what to expect. Also, when the punishment is too far removed from the action (like a week) the kid forgets what they did wrong to begin with! They could have found a more suitable punishment, or kept him at the school to do work or something along those lines.

 

[sillylittlechef]

I too, think this is extreme. Especially, for a child so young. It is one thing to punish a child with missing out on a special trip, but to dangle the fun in his face is just teasing him.
Did they perhaps make him go because no one was going to be back at the school? Would that have required an extra teacher or aide? I could sort of see their side if that was the case, but if so they should have explained that to you and let you decide if he should go and be teased with fun or stay home with you.

 

[chefann]

I agree with your assessment that it wasn't loss of field trip. That's staying at the school building. Going and having to sit with nothing to do on a bench is ridiculous.

 

[hoosierchef]

Wow Schel..... That is extreme for a 8 yo. I have probs with my son too, but don't ever remember his punishment being like that.Definetly talk to the director. I could understand if they were repeatedly having problems with him, but for it to be his first offense......Good Luck and keep us updated.

 

[pamperedlinda]

I too, think this is extreme. Especially, for a child so young. It is one thing to punish a child with missing out on a special trip, but to dangle the fun in his face is just teasing him.
.....

I think this was not only extreme, but it was cruel too! I would be highly P.O.'d and I'd let all of them know it! They should have let you know in no uncertain terms what the punishment was and then let YOU decide if you wanted your child to be subjected to it or to keep him home. I'd be livid!

 

[schel]

Thank you all for your support and input. I will keep you updated.
Schel

 

[SilverCeladon]

OMG! No way would I go for that. I think it would be better for him to stay home than to have a 3 hour time out. That is a bit excessive. Now, is someone watching him while he's there for 3 hours or are they all watching the other kids play and supervising them? I'd be LIVID!

 

[Denarella]

OMG! Do you have MY SON'S TWIN!?!?My son is eight. He was punished last year for an incident. No school trip. Except they made me keep him home! I had to take a day off from work, during the school year, mind you, because they didnt have anyone to watch him! I've found my soul-mommy-mate!

Don't sweat it! Keep your chin up and keep fighting. That is absurd and although I'm the most nonconfrontational person you'll ever meet, I've found that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. STAND YOUR GROUND, WOMAN! Don't back down! That is a VERY cruel punishment for an 8 yr old and rules need to be changed!

KEEP ME POSTED!

D

 

[DanielleQ]

OMG! No way would I go for that. I think it would be better for him to stay home than to have a 3 hour time out. That is a bit excessive. Now, is someone watching him while he's there for 3 hours or are they all watching the other kids play and supervising them? I'd be LIVID!

There just should have been better communication on the school's part. They should have given you the option of just keeping him home. Even though it would have been "inconvenient" to take the day off and all that, three hours of sitting on a bench watching his peers play is just WRONG.

 

[schel]

Well, I finally talked to the "top dog"... He admitted that they should have provided them with an alternate book like activity instead of just having them sit there as if in a time out. I again stressed to him I was still MAD!!!
and told this guy that being they were punished in an inappropriate way they owed the kids a apology for not providing them with something else to do while they sat in their 3 hour time out!!!

He assured me that this will not happen again.

Still mad, but I'll cool down eventually.
Thanks for all you r support.
Schel

 

[janetupnorth]

Well, I finally talked to the "top dog"... He admitted that they should have provided them with an alternate book like activity instead of just having them sit there as if in a time out. I again stressed to him I was still MAD!!!
and told this guy that being they were punished in an inappropriate way they owed the kids a apology for not providing them with something else to do while they sat in their 3 hour time out!!!

He assured me that this will not happen again.

Still mad, but I'll cool down eventually.
Thanks for all you r support.
Schel

Look at it this way...if you son gets an explanation that what they did wasn't right for them and they actually make changes and it doesn't happen again, you've done your job and your son helped teach them something in all this too. Look at it as a good experience...you helped make a change in your efforts that will help future students. Not all would be strong enough to deal with that or parents willing to step up to have it corrected.

 

[MicheleC]

That is definately overboard based on the infraction. I'm not much of a believer in time-outs when kids are old enough to be doing something positive like bookwork, helping clean, work projects etc. I'd much rather them help someone than to just sit for that length of time.

I'm glad you made yourself heard and they acknowledged it could have been handled better. Hope things go more smoothly from here out.