Incredibly Pampered Chefky Husband .. Help!

[abrahamlaur]

yes he likes fruit, loves peaches! i cant even think right now of what he does eat LOL ... i have alot on my mind today and i'm trying to take care of alot of pc stuff ... sorry! maybe i can get back to you on that!

 

[chefann]

OK- if fruit is good, then how about fruit and yogurt parfaits? Those would be nice and light for hot summer days, and you can add granola for crunch. You can even serve a small parfait as a side dish to a waffle or light sandwich.

Grilled cheese is my DH's go-to meal. And with a bowl of tomato soup, it's not too bad (he likes elbow macaroni to put in the soup, too).

 

[MomToEli]

Now, one thing that I won't be popular about is that I do not agree with other's posts that say, divorce or that he's not a wonderful hubby just because he's picky and asks for some more choices! I'm not saying he has the right to make you feel like you need to be a miracle worker but he doesn't deserve the fact that other people tell you that he needs to grow up or cook himself or that he's not great, or just divorce him. I'm glad you said divorce wasn't an option!

I'm going to address this, since I'm the one that said a wonderful husband would not act this way. This comment was a direct response to this post by Laurie:

thanks for some ideas ... i just dont get it, he is SOOO picky, if he doesnt like how something sounds, he wont eat it. if it looks funny, he wont eat it .. i made the summer tortellini salad last week and he didnte ven try it .. hes getting sick of cereal and gets allc rabby if i make something he doesnt like. i ask for ideas and hes like, i dont know ... FOOD! Thanks honey, thats alot of help!

and kitchen guy ... no divorce here .. geez LOL​

I totally agree that this is not a divorceable issue, and as a Christian, even if he digs in his heals and decides he is going to continue acting this way that is not grounds for divorce.

But what she has described IS childish behavior, and as a Christian wife my job is NOT to enable that behavior to continue. She started this out saying:

"He Can Really Only Have One Type Of Food A Week And Each Week It Needs To Be Different"​

Now, there *may* be some medical condition that allows someone to eat only one type of food a week and each week it needs to be different, but I'm totally clueless as to what that condition might be.

It doesn't matter to me (honest, it doesn't) if you agree with me on this or not, but I would really hate for anyone to believe that Christian men (or otherwise) are somehow entitled to treat their wives this way. They may do so anyway, but that is contrary to wonderful. And she has said that she has asked him repeatedly what he WILL eat, and he's not helping her figure it out.

If she has misrepresented him because she is upset and has exaggerated the situation, that is another matter.

Beyond that, the advice you give is excellent, and works very will when you are dealing with a partner who will hold up his end of the partnership. When he won't all you can do is all you can do.

 

[MissChef]

Sandy, I do see what you are saying, but I'm still sticking to my thoughts on this. Again, I won't be making you or others happy by this, but she asked for cooking advice not relationship advice. Another thing is regardless what he says or does about the food issue is not a reason to say he's not wonderful. To Laurie he is and as I said before, if this food thing is the only thing he gets picky about and is great on everything else then who are we to say he's not wonderful? Also, when someone says something negative about our husbands/wives/mates, we tend to not like it. We can complain alll we want but it's not okay for others to say anything!! LOL! Not being a jerk here, just stating Murphy's Law ! Kinda like when my kids fight, they can say anything about eachother but when another kid does something to the other, they become over protective!! Go figure!

Laurie may have over-exagerated or not, either way she stated one thing in their lives that is hard on her that is not a reason to think he's not great. My husband is a great man too, but I can tell you a few things that would make you think he's not!!! We are Christians, not Jesus, so we aren't perfect.

And we don't know her husband either sooooo..... he could be just as expaserated by his own issue with food. He may not be acting as great as he should be because maybe he's feels childish or frustrated. Who knows. My hubby always tells me "food" when I ask him what he wants and it's been something he has done since day one and yeah it makes me crazy because he's a little picky too but he's still great and still a christian even though someone may not think so.

I just think some of the responses were harsh, when she asked for food choices and not the responses she got from many.

Again, I am having a hard time relaying my thoughts here and it would be easier to talk about but that's not possible! You would be able to tell by the tone of my voice that I'm not trying to be mean, I am just feeling for Laurie and felt like "wow!" when I was reading the responses.... and I don't think I was too far off the mark by the reply I got from her.

Cathy, thank you SO much for what you said! I too am Christian and feel that it is my JOB to take care of the house, our daughter and my husband. He works HARD in the Army, out in the hot sun all day long and the last thing he wants to do when he comes home is argue over food or something stupid like that. Divorce is not even an option, I'm glad you said that also, and everything else you said ... I dont have the *balls* to say something like that. But thank you!

Thank you for all your suggestions .. I'm looking on food network right now. I do make the Fantastic Foccacia bread alot and the BBQ chicken and pineapple pizza thing (cant remember the name), we have grilled cheese and different things like that .. including breakfast for dinner alot. I will take alot of those suggestions and put them to use!

Again, Cathy ... THANK YOU .. you spoke my mind and exactly what I was thinking, feeling!

 

[tlennhoff]

Speaking as a picky eater here, and I might be able to compete with the husband being discussed, we are not trying to be difficult. My mom says that from the day she started giving me food I would take one look/smell/taste and if I did not like it I would note eat anything for 3-6 hours. If she tried to give it to me again I simply would not eat. I would choose to starve over eating something that I find gross/disgusting, seriously. Solution when I was a kid was that if I was not eating what was being served I knew where to find the bread, peanut butter, and jelly. By age 8 I could do basic cooking for myself so I could make an egg or something.

Now my husband does most of the cooking because of my chronic fatigue issues. I'm a picky eater and I can't tell you at 3pm what I'll be able to eat/tolerate at 6pm. We keep some easy staples in the house, cottage cheese, mac & cheese, nut butters, bread, eggs, cereal, all things that take at most 15 minutes to prepare for me. He then checks on what I can handle and makes it. If he is not in the mood to cook then I don't eat and I'm ok with that (he is not). Most nights he prepares 2 meals, something cool for himself, and something simple/easy for me.

A few years ago a friend asked me to come up with a list of all the foods I would eat so she could cook for me when I stayed for a week. I had told her just have bread, peanut butter, and jelly and I'll be fine. I came up with maybe 25 foods and all but a few had next to them (only if cooked exactly right and I'm in the right mood that meal).

So yes, the husband does need to come up with a list of foods he likes, including things that can be kept as staples for quick meals for him. Just have him sit down for 15 minutes a few times over a week writing down every food he can think of - raw ingredients as well as finished products. From that the 2 of you should be able to make some headway. And if you sit down and do the same, think about what meals he has ever said "that was good" about you'll probably find that you can double his list. From there you should find ideas for recipes. If you are tired of the same old, same old for a particular food then go online and look for recipes to see if there is something you could do to shake it up.

I specialize in cooking for picky eaters so if you can get a list and PM/email it to me I may be able to come up with some suggestions/ideas. Or post the list to the group and I'm sure we'd really go wild with ideas. Make sure the list includes favorite spices/herbs and also a list of stuff he hates/can't stand (for me this would be love basil, garlic, onions,... cannot stand chili powder, red peppers, curry...).

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

As a wife married to a picky eater and with one son who inherited his dad's pickiness, (the boy has never tasted meat, he hates it!) I know what a pain it can be! Couple of things:
1. I agree, go shopping together and read recipe books/magazines and have him point out what he likes and sounds good to him. You'll have to be creative, with the 3-5 choices he gives you, but thank God for the internet!
2. I choose my battles. Sometimes what I cook is what they eat or not. Sometimes, I don't mind cooking two or three diffrent dishes. It's not that hard to make meatloaf for me and my youngest (who'll eat anything) and a pot of mac n cheese for my hubby and other son. And if he just wants a peanut butter sandwich (he doesn't like Jelly) - what it takes 30 seconds to make him a sandwich? I want our dinner times to be bonding, not fighting. So pick your battles.

I bet if you hit the internet, you would find some websites for ideas on feeding picky eaters. Good luck. PM me if you need some more venting on the pickiness thing, cause I understand!