How Do I Handle a Difficult Hostess for My Direct Sales Business?

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Discussion Overview

The thread discusses experiences and strategies related to handling difficult hostesses in direct sales, particularly in the context of a Pampered Chef business. Participants share their personal experiences with challenging interactions and offer various perspectives on communication and relationship management with hostesses.

Discussion Character

  • Anecdotal
  • Opinion-based
  • Exploratory

Main Points Raised

  • One participant describes a frustrating interaction with a hostess who expressed personal difficulties, leading to a cancellation of a show.
  • Another participant expresses confusion about the situation, seeking clarification on whether the hostess is current or past.
  • Several users mention the importance of kindness and understanding in dealing with difficult hostesses, suggesting a "bless and release" approach.
  • One participant shares the view that direct communication, such as phone calls, may be more effective than email in resolving issues.
  • Another participant notes that hostesses may be going through personal crises that affect their ability to focus on the show.
  • Some participants suggest using the time freed up by a cancelled show for productive tasks or to reach out to other potential clients.
  • One participant emphasizes the need to be cautious in communication to avoid offending the hostess during her difficult time.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Views differ among participants regarding the best approach to take with difficult hostesses. While some advocate for kindness and patience, others emphasize the importance of direct communication and understanding the hostess's personal situation.

Contextual Notes

The discussion reflects the challenges faced by direct sales consultants in managing relationships with hostesses, particularly when personal issues arise that impact business interactions.

Who May Find This Useful

Consultants navigating similar situations with hostesses may find the shared experiences and perspectives helpful in managing their own interactions.

mommyhugz1978
mommyhugz1978
Gold Member
Messages
3,695
This is why I am so upset everyone..... I sent out an email to a hostess for next week about a meeting today about her show and working with her to get her guest lsit started.... she emails me back saying she has personal and work reason that she can have a show ..... I email her back and said do you want to reschudle for next month, I get a response back say I dont' want to talka bout it right now I can barely stay focused on work and staying in my chair... then I emailed her back stating Well this is my business and I uundertsand abiout work and personal reasons, but the is my business and I count on my shows becasue tehy are my source of income and when I dont' have a show my bills dont get paid. Then she emails me back saying, well you showed up 30 mins late I am suppsoed to be their an hour before hand not a half and hour.... and I changed the food at the last min, and I didnt' fix what they wanted me to fix for them, I her knwo that I didnt' think it owuld be a problem to change the recipie how ever I was wrong, becasue they wanted me to fix something that I have never fixed before, and I let them know, she put out suggestions on how my business is suppsoed to run, I let her knwo thank you but on the advice of my director I listen to suggestions but if you have not sold pampered chef, it does nto necessairly work for my business when I might have worked with another direct sales company. She sold princess house.... :rolleyes:


WHAT THE HECK DO I DO>>>>>> I killed her with kindess in another email.. with help from my co-worker.
 
Huh??
I am totally confused - is this a hostess r a past hostess? What did you show up late for?
 
Kill her with kindness, bless and release and move on...I truly believe if you run your business right, God will bless and take care of that... ...who knows what may happen because it was cancelled...

Pick up the phone...maybe you can fill the date with a fun show!
 
I'm confused too,
however... not to take sides (or start a new threat bashing me) HA!! BUT, if she said she had something going on and couldn't focus I would have replied I understand please call me at your earliest convenience.
she may be going thru a death, illness, divorce, unpleasant job situation, etc.
Yes, you are "unemployed" for next week use that show time for phone calls or a 2 hour power hour in your office. You'll reap the rewrds.
 
Pick up the phone and call her. Email is for information only.
 
Teresa Lynn said:
I'm confused too,
however... not to take sides (or start a new threat bashing me) HA!! BUT, if she said she had something going on and couldn't focus I would have replied I understand please call me at your earliest convenience.
she may be going thru a death, illness, divorce, unpleasant job situation, etc.
Yes, you are "unemployed" for next week use that show time for phone calls or a 2 hour power hour in your office. You'll reap the rewrds.
Click to expand...

Teresa,
I agree 100%! In Direct Sales, we walk a fine line. What is best for them (i.e. hosts, guests, etc) is what needs to be first and foremost in your mind. And, if she was difficult to work with the first time, it may be time to bless and release. Use the time you would have been at the show to do "income producing" tasks at home. If it isn't possible to work at home in the evening (interruptions by DH, kids, etc), take your cell phone, grab some show folders, get in your car, find a place to park and make CCCs. You can turn this lemon into lemonade! Chin up! :D
 
  • Thread starter
  • #7
dannyzmom said:
Huh??
I am totally confused - is this a hostess r a past hostess? What did you show up late for?
Click to expand...


She is a past hostess adn was going to hsot a show for me next week... sorry frustations casued me not to write the whole story....
 
  • Thread starter
  • #8
Teresa Lynn said:
I'm confused too,
however... not to take sides (or start a new threat bashing me) HA!! BUT, if she said she had something going on and couldn't focus I would have replied I understand please call me at your earliest convenience.
she may be going thru a death, illness, divorce, unpleasant job situation, etc.
Yes, you are "unemployed" for next week use that show time for phone calls or a 2 hour power hour in your office. You'll reap the rewrds.
Click to expand...


I Let her know in the email that I understand about work and personal life... but I also let ler know my side as well... and that when she was ready to talk to let me know and we could discuss things.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #9
janetupnorth said:
Kill her with kindness, bless and release and move on...I truly believe if you run your business right, God will bless and take care of that... ...who knows what may happen because it was cancelled...

Pick up the phone...maybe you can fill the date with a fun show!
Click to expand...

He has blessed my business a great deal this year!! definatly going to pick up the phone and get something.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #10
chefjenibel said:
Teresa,
I agree 100%! In Direct Sales, we walk a fine line. What is best for them (i.e. hosts, guests, etc) is what needs to be first and foremost in your mind. And, if she was difficult to work with the first time, it may be time to bless and release. Use the time you would have been at the show to do "income producing" tasks at home. If it isn't possible to work at home in the evening (interruptions by DH, kids, etc), take your cell phone, grab some show folders, get in your car, find a place to park and make CCCs. You can turn this lemon into lemonade! Chin up! :D
Click to expand...


Thanks that helps a great deal!!
 
mommyhugz1978 said:
... but I also let ler know my side as well... and that when she was ready to talk to let me know and we could discuss things.
Click to expand...

When the HOST is in crisis (her email quoted: I get a response back say I dont' want to talka bout it right now I can barely stay focused on work and staying in my chair... - YOU or anything YOU do or want DOES NOT MATTER.... in their minds anyways.

Be careful of offending her - it sounds to me that she felt you were blaming her (Leah's your email quoted: ...then I emailed her back stating Well this is my business...) and I think at this point she didn't hear(?) read anything else. Do you see what I mean? She just wasn't in the frame of mind to hear what you were saying... We do walk a fine line in direct sales - living in a small community can be a detrement to your business at times as she could kill your future business if she FEELS (notice I didn't say what you did to her) - IF SHE FEELS that YOU somehow made her the bad guy or that your bills were more important than her crisis.

I only say this because it happened to me and it takes forever to get out of that ficious cycle in a small town.

I think in the future you might try calling your host if you detect there is a problem with any part of their show - it is simply more personal and I think you would have better results than responding to an email....

No matter how much YOU think that you are helping HER - let it go until SHE is ready to come to you....

Hang in their kiddo - there is a vast amount of fish in the ocean - throw your pole out and pull in another (bigger) on :D

My .02
 
DebbieJ said:
Pick up the phone and call her. Email is for information only.
Click to expand...
Yes... Give her some time to cool off and give her a call or drop off a baked item to let her know you are thinking of her.
 
Gina is right--when someone is having a crisis, they tend not to care much about what effect their actions have on those around them. She probably read into your email a lot of meaning that you neither wrote nor intended. I agree that you should let her cool off and give her a call. And ask if there's anything you can do to help her in her situation--sometimes people need a good meal during a crisis, and if you take over a recipe, you'll be her consultant for life (and the consultant of anyone else she tells about the story!).

I had a host whose father-in-law passed away five days before her show, and I took her the recipe for her show on the night of her show anyhow (a day or two after the funeral). She loved it, her family loved it, and she told everyone she knew about it--I've gotten some good business because of that.
 
Brandie, I just wanted to say how incredibly kind and thoughtful that was. From a business and friendly way it works all the way around.
Mommyhugz, give this lady a few days to cool off and then pick up that phone and call her! Be a friend and a consultant.
 
Brandie said:
Gina is right--when someone is having a crisis, they tend not to care much about what effect their actions have on those around them. She probably read into your email a lot of meaning that you neither wrote nor intended. I agree that you should let her cool off and give her a call. And ask if there's anything you can do to help her in her situation--sometimes people need a good meal during a crisis, and if you take over a recipe, you'll be her consultant for life (and the consultant of anyone else she tells about the story!).

I had a host whose father-in-law passed away five days before her show, and I took her the recipe for her show on the night of her show anyhow (a day or two after the funeral). She loved it, her family loved it, and she told everyone she knew about it--I've gotten some good business because of that.
Click to expand...
That was a kind gesture. Extending the olive branch goes a long way.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #16
Latest Update from my hostessI delated the email.... from here.... but here is what happen she emailed me back applogized for flying of the broom handle on me..... and explained what happend..... I emailed her back and realted some commonatlites... and told her that if she needed a friend that my phone number was on my signauture and if she needed to talk feel free to call me..... Well all have bad days..... dont' we? ALL IN A DAYS WORK...... So all is not lost... at least I think it's not...... and everyone on CS knows something about me that I dont' share at all..........:o ~Leah
 
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WHOA! That is a ton of crazy stuff. She must work with a lot of men--no offense to the men here!--my husband works in a very male-dominated field, and he and some of the other guys he works with shout it out and then laugh it off. Women just don't work that way!

I think you did her right with your kind words. Kudos to you!
 
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  • #18
She is an ad consultant at the newspaper here........
 
:) Wow, mommyhugz, that was a very deep and personal thing she shared with you and I know that extending that hand to her will help her in more ways than one. Congratulations I think you just met a customer for life.
 
chefkitty said:
:) Wow, mommyhugz, that was a very deep and personal thing she shared with you and I know that extending that hand to her will help her in more ways than one. Congratulations I think you just met a customer for life.
Click to expand...

I read the email response from Leah's host earlier today and have debated whether to post this or not, I feel very strongly about this so have decided that I will share my thoughts.

As a community we share many personal thoughts and feelings with each other. That is fine because they are ours to share. That said, I think we need to be VERY CAREFUL about what we post regarding other people NOT tied to this site. This host shared some VERY private and personal information and I don't feel we (as consultants and cheffers) should break that confidence by sharing it with perfect strangers. I feel uncomfortable now knowing that a girl named [**the personal information has been deleted since the original email is now gone**]. Do you see what I mean? That is an awful lot of personal and private information that shouldn't be shared.

This site is a great place to share our concerns and vent our frustrations about host and customers but we need to make sure we aren't posting private and personal information that could reveal their identity.

I realize that there was no malicious intent in posting the email but it's something we need to think about for next time.

My two cents....
 
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  • Thread starter
  • #21
I debated on how I should respond back to your post..... thanks for your two cents... and offending me beyond messure. We all post differnt things on here, about husbands, hostess, children, oursevles..... the point of this thread was to seek advice on what I should do... your timing was poor and so was your wording. I took great acception to it.... and if that is not how it was meant then I am sorry, but to offend to someone means nothing what your intent was but how it was recieved.
 
My intent was not to offend but to hopefully make us all aware. We are so used to sharing our own personal information and that is fine because it's OUR personal information. When we start sharing other people's personal information we need to be very careful.

Whether you believe it or not, I really debated about even sharing my thoughts because it would probably hit a nerve with someone. But I tried to put myself in that host's place and how I would feel if, without my knowledge, my personal and private struggles were being shared with others, I thought I needed to share what was on my heart.

This thread was started to vent frustrations and look for suggestions. Many of the threads on this site do just that. That is alot of what CS is all about...consultants coming together to share thoughts, look for ideas and suggestions. I don't want that to change....what I'm trying to say is that, in the future, we all need to be careful in what we share about non-cheffers.
 
ITA with Georgia Peach. If I was your host I would be LIVID.
 
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  • #24
It was not my intent to start an argument or fight on here... But to share that I turned a negaitive into a postive... when I thought all was lost.... Probley should ahve done it a differnt way. and the intent of this thread was not meant to bash on me... It was with the intent to give suggestions on what I should do to help my hostess in the future (not her nesscarily) ..... I am frustated beyond belife .... but it doesn't matter....
 
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Leah, we rejoice with you that it turned out good...just go delete the thread so the information goes away...
 
  • Thread starter
  • #26
janetupnorth said:
Leah, we rejoice with you that it turned out good...just go delete the thread so the information goes away...
Click to expand...


How do I do that?? or can you edited a posting after you have posted it?
 
  • Thread starter
  • #27
Never mind fixed.......
 
Glad you found how to edit/fix... :)
 
Leah, maybe just go back and edit your post that contain names & places.
this way your (nice) story can be told and those involved shall remain nameless
 
reba515 said:
Leah, maybe just go back and edit your post that contain names & places.
this way your (nice) story can be told and those involved shall remain nameless
Click to expand...

She did, but GeorgiaPeach needs to edit hers...
 

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some signs that I have a difficult hostess?

Signs of a difficult hostess may include lack of communication, unrealistic expectations, frequent cancellations or changes to plans, negative attitudes towards the products, or failure to promote the event to their guests. If you notice these behaviors, it may be time to address the situation directly.

How should I communicate with a difficult hostess?

Open and honest communication is key. Schedule a one-on-one conversation to discuss any concerns. Use "I" statements to express how their actions affect the event, and listen actively to their perspective. This can help build rapport and find a resolution.

What strategies can I use to motivate a difficult hostess?

To motivate a difficult hostess, try to understand their goals and what they hope to achieve from the event. Offer incentives, such as discounts or free products, for reaching certain milestones. Additionally, provide them with marketing materials and tips to help them feel more confident in promoting the event.

How do I set boundaries with a difficult hostess?

Setting boundaries is important for maintaining a professional relationship. Clearly outline your expectations regarding communication, event planning, and guest engagement. If the hostess continues to overstep these boundaries, gently remind them of the agreed-upon terms and the importance of mutual respect.

When should I consider letting go of a difficult hostess?

If a hostess consistently disrupts the planning process, undermines your efforts, or creates a negative environment, it may be time to reevaluate the partnership. Consider letting go of the hostess if their behavior is affecting your business or the experiences of other guests. Focus on building relationships with those who are more supportive and engaged.

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