Baby/ Toddler Sleep Advice Needed!

[friday]

He eats what we eat- so last night he had schnitzel, rice, and tomato salad. And then he had a slice of zucchini bread (he loves the stuff). I could try a bedtime snack of some sort just in case it is hunger.

The going in every 10 minutes was so tiring. Poor Alex stayed in there and tried to sleep through it. Dh made him go to school anyhow, but if he is a wreck when he gets home at lunch I will let him stay home and get some sleep.

 

[BethCooks4U]

I have 5 sons and all were different. Our house was noisy too.

First, what time are you putting your child to bed? So many parents put them down as early as 7 and wonder why the child is up so early. We considered 10 or even 11 bedtime when they were small and as they got a little older we backed it to 9, then 8 once school started. They slept until at least 5 and since DH had to be up by 6 it was "through the night" for us.

Second, I agree that going in frequently to reassure the child may help some adjust but I disagree that it works generally or for a long period of time. If after a week of that (if you are still sane with that lack of sleep) I would stop that technique. Start a bedtime routine. Having a noisy house we had to calm things down just before bedtime so that they would not be wired. Homework for the older kids, or we all read or listened to softer music... About 1/2 hour before we wanted them in bed we would do a snack, jammies, read a soothing book with the lights dimmed (actually, that was daddy time - he wasn't the primary caregiver so it was different and special). Some of them needed us to lay with them for a few minutes (1/2 hour max!). Then we left the room. If they called us or cried we would go in, make sure all was okay and say "it's bedtime, good night". If they continued to call or cry we would be near by but not respond (you can tell if they REALLY need you and at first you might have to go in a few times but it's really for YOU not THEM). After a few nights of that they learned their routine and settled quickly.

My biggest piece of advice is don't give in. They will adjust to your time schedule if you are firm but loving. YOU have to set the standards in your house. They are not the ruler. If you don't get your rest you can't be the loving mother you know you are.

Give yourself a break. Even the most difficult kids grow out of this.

 

[KellyTheChef]

I haven't had a chance to read all of the responses, so sorry if I am repeating from anyone else!

Here's what I ended up doing with Evan. I couldn't handle letting him cry...he is the type who would have kept himself up alll night crying. So, I would settle him down, and tell him it was ni-night time and leave. I set my PC timer for 5 minutes. If he was still crying (and normally he was) I would go back in, lay him down and cover him- tell him it was ni-night time and leave. Then, I would set my timer for 10 minutes.

Each time, I did/said the same things and KEPT MYSELF CALM and matter of fact. No eye contact. With each timer setting, add 5 minutes. I had to do this for a while the first two nights (got up to setting the timer for 20 minutes before he fell asleep) but after that, I would normally set the timer for the first 5 minutes and then he would be asleep.

This worked when he was about a year old or so...don't ask me about now!! (He is 2.5 and all of the sudden in the past month, he is afraid of the dark and bedtimes and night time is now a big PITA again!)

Good luck! I know what you mean about being exhausted!

 

[friday]

Last night we did the in his own bed bedtime routine again- reading the book- and not picking up. We did add his baby- and went through the process of putting his baby down and covering him up and rubbing his head. I said good night and left the room. He cried a few seconds then quit. But that didnt last. When he started crying again, I picked up my knitting and knit a full row before I went in to check. I have him back his soother and laid him back down, rubbed his back for a minute, then left again. He cried right away. I went back to knitting and knit a full row. Daddy went in and put him down this time. It took 10 of these or so before he gave it up. Then he was up at about 2- but it didnt take long to put him back down. He squawked a few other times, but no one answered him. He was up again at 5:30 for a while- daddy gets ready for work from 6 to 7. At 7, Daddy put him in bed with me and he napped for about an hour. It wasn't awful. I don't know how Alex is doing. I really worry about him- he needs his sleep too- and sharing a room with a baby is bad enough...

To answer the time question- we put all the boys to bed at 9:30. The older two boys are quick to drop off if there are no distractions. But since the 13 year old is sharing a room with baby- he has been up with crying baby until about 11 last night before the baby gave in and slept. He seems to be doing alright. He can sleep as late as he needs to for catch up on the weekend I guess...

 

[KellyTheChef]

I forgot to mention that Evan sleeps with white noise (CD playing the sound of the washing machine) and has done that since about 3 months. I think that helps drown out other household noises that may otherwise wake them up.

I hope everything works out quickly for you so you can catch up on YOUR rest too!

 

[friday]

Day 3. I had a bout of insomnia for two of the THREE hours when he WASNT screaming last night. And now the little... charmer... is trying to PLAY, but he is so pale and clumsy- he has fallen twice so far this morning. He does not normally fall at all. He is leaning down to his milk rather than picking it up. I tried to get him to go back to sleep with me at 6, but he keeps trying to stick to normal. If he does not sleep better tonight- I QUIT. I have a killer headache, and I keep graying out when I stand up. There has got to be a better way.

 

[BethCooks4U]

Have you talked with your doctor? He sounds sleep deprived too. You know there could be something going on...

 

[friday]

You are right Beth. I should take him to the doc just in case. Last time we were there he just asked questions and didnt examine him. It was just a well baby check up so that was not unexpected. But lots of the books say that the average baby wakes up through the night 2-4 times until 2 years. sigh....

 

[TwinGirlsMom]

Hope things go well tonight...I have been through this with my twins. It was ROUGH for what seemed like forever and all of a sudden it clicked. We knew this wouldn't be easy, right? In order to break the cycle, the key is to stay consistent.

In the end, Friday, do what you feel you can do. You know your limits. Please don't feel condemned or judged if this does not work. As moms we must first take care of ourselves before we can effectively parent our children. If the sleep deprivation is too much right now, hang this up and regroup. You can always wait a week and try again; somebody suggested doing it on a weekend which is a great idea. The suggestion of talking to your pediatrician is also excellent.

Keep us posted...good luck!

 

[TwinGirlsMom]

For whatever it's worth, I just remembered an important principle out of BabyWise : one of the keys to a good night's rest is that the baby must nap well during the day. It sounds strange but with my experience I saw it to be so true. If my girls had a rough nap day, their nights were rough as well. At 13 months my twins were still napping twice a day--at 10:00 and 2:00--for 1 1/2-2 hours each. Bedtime was 7-8ish and they slept for 11-12 hours. They didn't drop that morning nap until around 18 months, at which point they just took a longer afternoon nap [2-3 hours].

I'm just wondering out loud at the possibility of him being so exhausted from the day that he just doesn't sleep well. Make sense? Could be something you to ask your pediatrician about.

P.S. Also wondering if he's getting sugar or caffeine? Maybe something he's consuming that is causing him to not fully relax? Another Doc question!

 

[friday]

He Slept!!!HE SLEPT!!! 7.5 conseuctive hours.

It started at 10 or so. DH went to put him to bed- bracing for the scream fest. And there WASNT ONE. DH read him a story and they put his baby doll to sleep, then HE WENT- that was about 11. I accused DH of cheating to put him to sleep- of rocking him or something. But he swears he did not. THEN.... I couldnt sleep at first- thats the insomniac in me. But I finally crashed and when I heard him calling I thought- geez I wonder how long we got. And I looked at the clock. And IT WAS 6:30ish!!!!

I know we have to stick with it, because one night does not make a habit. BUT HE SLEPT!!! YIPPEE!!!!

Thanks ladies, for supporting me through this. I will keep you posted.

 

[TwinGirlsMom]

Yippee! :cheerleader:

Wasn't that the 3rd night?

That is AWESOME news!!! You did it!!! Way to hang in there!

 

[friday]

4th night- but not bad- I hope it sticks. I could sure use the rest.

 

[Tribegirl00]

Just saw this post today and boy can I relate! I have a 3.5 yr old and she has/had been a TERRIBLE sleeper, just terrible. When she was born she was up every 2 hrs until she was over a year old. I was a mess...illogical, angry all the time, exhausted, I looked sick all the time. Finally, I snapped. She would go to bed ok (I NEVER put her in bed w/ me and she always went to bed before she was asleep), but then wake up 2, 3, 4 times a night. On her first wakeup, I would go in, find out what the prob was, and leave. When she woke up again, I literally let her cry it out. I turned on every fan in my house, closed all the doors I could, and just let her go. It killed me. It killed my husband. But, I had had it! After a ROUGH week, she finally slept through thie night, but I don't know if that would have happened had I not stuck to my guns and "laid down the law" with her. WE are the parents, WE dictate what happens, not the kids! I watch a lot of Supernanny too and she has great sleep ideas. I incorporate any books, Supernanny shows, whatever, to get me through.
Right now, the little stinker is getting up in the middle of night at around 4am and trying to crawl in bed w/ us. I immediately put her back to bed, but my husband will let her sleep next to him, so she has learned to go to his side of the bed and crawl in. If I wake up while she's getting into bed, or happen to hear her door open, I'll put her back, but lately this is what's been going on. It's frustrating!
This will not last forever!!! We will get our sleep eventually! LOL
Also, maybe engage the child in some activity in the day or early evening to tire him out, a long walk, some fresh air, etc. Have you tried cutting out his nap? That's another thing I had to do to get her to sleep through the night. I know you might not want to, but some kids just don't take naps past a year old.
Good luck.

 

[friday]

Ok well, he quit after 4 nights of sleeping through. Now he screams every single night starting at around 3am. Last night we gave up and brought him to bed. Didn't matter. He still screamed until about 5am. The old way sucked. This is worse. I will try cutting out his nap- but I am weak- and I am so very tired. I have to admit I NEED that nap more than he does.

 

[imported_lkprescott]

My 13 month old has slept "through the night" a grand total of less than 10 times in his little life. I am reluctant to ferberize him as I sort of feel like CIO is close to neglect. But it may come to that. I am exhausted- beyond reason. My other two boys simply slept through one night and that was that. Tell me what you did with your kids to get them to sleep through. Anything at all.

I haven't read through all the posts so this may have been mentioned but there's a wonderful book by Dr. Sears called Nighttime Parenting I'd highly recommend reading. He's not a CIO author at all and the tips and such in the book may help you guys.

It's been a while since I had to worry about sleeptime but with my son, he didn't sleep through the night until he was nearly 5 years old.. not to scare you or anything. DD is MUCH better... we have our routine which hasn't changed since she was like 2... and we stick to it. That really helps her switch from play to sleep mode and to turn things off... I just have to make sure to get to bed at a reasonable time cuz her internal clock says somewhere between 6:30 and 7am is a good time to wake up... even on the weekends...