Tonight I Put My Baby to Bed Soaking Wet...

[pamperedape]

with my tears.

I go back to work on Friday. The day before he turns four months old.

Ugh. I HATE this.

I KNOW I am blessed to have a job that allows me to spend so much time with my children (teacher), but it still hurts so badly.

I KNOW that in order for us not to worry about every little dollar that we spend that we both have to work.


I KNOW that even though I work he will love me JUST as much.

It still hurts.

 

[katie0128]

I'm crying with you! I'm not a teacher, but I've had to return to work from maternity leave three times and this last time wasn't any easier than the first!

My sister, who is also a PC consultant and my recruit, is a 4th grade teacher. She had her son in March 2006 and had to go back to work for the last 5 weeks of the year because she couldn't take off the rest of the year after her DS was born. She wants to grow her business enough during this school year so she can only teach part-time next year and maybe quit completely in another year or two after that. If you ever need to talk with someone who know EXACTLY what you are going through (especially trying to do PC as well), let me know... I'll put you in touch with her.

Until then, yes, it does hurt and there isn't anything anyone can say that will make your heart not break. But, you are so right... your babies will love you JUST as much and you can look forward to the "welcome home mommy" hugs each afternoon!

 

[pamperedape]

Thank you so much for your sympathy and kind words Katie! Now that I have cried it all out (for now!!) I can go to bed...

 

[heather9892]

been there hated that!!!!!!!
i feel for u and understand completely [[[hug]]]

can i ask how long is your mat leave in the US?

 

[pamperedape]

pretty much one of THREE options...

as many sick/personal/etc. days as you have saved up...

OR as long as you can go without pay...

OR a combination of the two...

Mine was a combination of the two.

Thank you for your kind words.

 

[katie0128]

A federal law allows new moms (and dads) to take up to 12 weeks off, but it is unpaid unless your company has some sort of maternity leave benefit. And you are not guaranteed to have your exact job when you come back, you are only guaranteed to have a "comparable" position. Most people do get their same job back, but companies are not required to do it.

How do things differ over the border?

 

[pamperedtara]

My heart goes out to you! Been there, done that and it is sooo hard. As you said, your babies will love you JUST as much, but I know it is still hard. I will be praying for you on Friday.

 

[heather9892]

A federal law allows new moms (and dads) to take up to 12 weeks off, but it is unpaid unless your company has some sort of maternity leave benefit. And you are not guaranteed to have your exact job when you come back, you are only guaranteed to have a "comparable" position. Most people do get their same job back, but companies are not required to do it.

How do things differ over the border?

OMG!!!!!!!!! thats horrible now i'm crying with you

i couldn't have imagined going back to work that soon, my guy wasnt even sitting up all by himself then, now he won't lie still lol

we get 1 year off @ 60% of our pay, which is paid through unemployment(otherwise know here as EI) some companys also top this up so that u have 100% of your pay. mostly gov't and union places, or really big companies(hubby's work does and they are just big, have plants here and in the US)

 

[dianevill]

April,

Big hugs to you. I know how hard it is - I remember leaving every morning for work in tears.

Another big hug!

 

[pcchris]

we get 1 year off @ 60% of our pay, which is paid through unemployment(otherwise know here as EI) some companys also top this up so that u have 100% of your pay. mostly gov't and union places, or really big companies(hubby's work does and they are just big, have plants here and in the US)

WOW! That's phenomenal!!

 

[heather9892]

WOW! That's phenomenal

it hasnt always been this way
the mom gets 17wks mat leave
then either mom or dad or both(but at different times) get 35wks parental

we also get 35wks parental if we adopt i think

this is in ontario so it could be different in the other provinces im not sure

 

[BethCooks4U]

I know how hard it is and my heart goes out to you. You really are fortunate though. Back in the day (my baby is 18) we had to be back at work in 6-8 weeks. I think I wouldn't have been guaranteed a job if I had taken longer. I worked 3rd shift and that helped because I could still be there most of the time (sleep? I didn't know what that was).

I'm so jealous of the benefits in Canada too!

 

[friday]

I have to sort of clarify the Canadian mat leave thing. Not everyone qualifies. You have to have a certain number of weeks paid into the program. And if you are sponsoring an immigrant (like I am sponsoring my husband) you can`t collect anything at all for 3 years even if you have enough weeks in. SO. I had the baby on September 13th, and returned to work on October 1st.

 

[pampchefrhondab]

Oh, that is so hard! I've been there too!

I hate to tell you it doesn't get any easier. Now I hate to leave my kids because they are old enough to stay at home alone, but are the age they can get into a lot of trouble! I'll be honest, I think I need to be home more now then I was when they were little. They need even more guidance now! Which is why I won't be going back to full-time employment until they are out of the house!

At least you will always have the summer off. That is when they have the most time to get into trouble.

Just start looking forward to those long holidays coming up or bad weather days!

Good luck!

 

[dannyzmom]

(((((((((((((((((April))))))))))))))))

 

[janetupnorth]

I went back to work 3 weeks after my son was born (all we could afford). But luckily, I've had wonderful sitters (in-home care). My 2 kids are currently the only kids my sitter watches (she had 4 of her own - now ages 16 and up). It is hard to leave them, especially when my 2 ask for a million and one hugs and kisses. I know they are well taken care of though, I'm providing for them, and I get to see them in a few hours. Most of the time I can get so busy at work that the day flies by. Just enjoy the reunion each day and that time with them.

 

[Teresa Lynn]

I'll be doing the same thing next week. A little different though we will be sending ours back to college. It doesn't get any easier

 

[BethCooks4U]

I'll be doing the same thing next week. A little different though we will be sending ours back to college. It doesn't get any easier

I am sending my baby to college TOMORROW :cry: :cry:

I thought I would be glad to empty the house but I am really having a hard time with this. The good thing though is (my son pointed out) we will see him every month (MONTH :cry: ) until at least February so it'll be a little gradual.

Yes, it's hard at every stage but it's our job to teach them to be independent. Unfortunately it's not at OUR timetable.


Hug your babies - they grow up too fast. There is a time in there when they may not want the hugs but they get back to it later and that's sweet.

 

[heather9892]

I have to sort of clarify the Canadian mat leave thing. Not everyone qualifies. You have to have a certain number of weeks paid into the program. And if you are sponsoring an immigrant (like I am sponsoring my husband) you can`t collect anything at all for 3 years even if you have enough weeks in. SO. I had the baby on September 13th, and returned to work on October 1st

friday
i know for regular EI the areas differ as far as how many hrs u need, and its lower for "special" and that sponsoring rule i think is dumb but didnt know about it
thats awful you had to return after 2 weeks

 

[Jennie4PC]

April I totally know how you are feeling I had to leave my baby at 6 wks and I would just drive to work bawling and leave work bawling all I would do was bawl. I totally understand on you not wanting to have to watch eery penny you spend

 

[jrstephens]

Mine little boy is 3 and I still hate to leave him. I keep wanting to cut back more on work. I work 4 days now and may be ablt to go to 3 at the first of next year.

April and others who have children leaving for school - u are in my thoughts and prayers.