Struggling with ADHD and School Assignments? Join the Conversation Now!

[JAE]

AAAAHHHH! My children are stressing me out. Okay, I don't want to blame, so I should say I'm stressing over my children. My 12 year old who is in 6th grade and has ADHD and on medication is having trouble in school. He did just get a perfect score on his Bible test, but he continually misses assignments. He either doesn't do them or he does them and doesn't turn them in. I do as much as I can, but I'm not in 6th grade. I wish the teachers would try to understand and stop making things so hard as far as organizing all of the different assignments. Can you define "streamline"? Some teachers and classes are great, but some teachers are giving way too many assignments and make it hard to figure out what is do when. I don't think I can take any more advice, but I just wanted to start a thread for all of us dealing with this or those who have gone through this already.

 

[pcchris]

Did you have an evaluation done and is the school working with you and your child with an IEP?? That's the first step......been there....done that! Keep us informed as to your progress.

 

[Shawnna]

Yes, an IEP is where you should start. They should do an evaluation and then work a plan just for him.

 

[reba515]

along with an IEP a advocate other than yourself is a good idea, you may need to go outside of the school dept to get one but they can be a very good help on your son's behalf.

 

[pamela]

Out of my 5 children, I have 2 that are ADHD. THe oldest and youngest. I know what you are going through.

 

[Tribegirl00]

Funny I came across this thread now..I JUST got a call my stepson's teacher (6th grade) that he is not doing his assignments in class and when he does them they are late, including his homework, which he does every night. He just had a HUGE science project worth 140 pts, I have been asking him when he is getting the grade back, I just found the eval form from his teacher, he half *ssed the project and WOULD HAVE gotten a 72% (still a D), BUT his teacher wrote on the eval form that he turned it in LATE, got 50% credit for it, and all in all is 50.5 pts out of ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY. I am SO ANGRY right now I could spit!!!!!
He's been tested for ADD and everything, he's just LAZY!
In the immortal words of Seinfeld...SERENITY NOW!!!!!

 

[Admin Greg]

I "had" ADD all through grade and middle school. I hardly ever did homework and got bad grades. But I kinda grew out of it and learned how to manage it in a way as I got older. Ended up going to a decent University. I think I turned out great, so I wouldn't stress too much. There is actually very little you can do. Just support him, try to give him opportunities and let him grow into himself and figure things out. I know you may freak out because he does poorly on a test or even a year, but in the complete scope of things, it's not that big a of a deal. Just be supportive, always state your expectations of him and try to find ways to modivate him. But don't flip out and stress yourself out when he comes home with a poor test, it won't mean he will be a bum, I am proof of that!

 

[friday]

I am ADD. My two oldest sons are ADD. I used to take meds and I am looking forward to being able to take them again once the nursing is 100% over. My oldest boy used to take meds but he developed tourettes so we are using various coping strategies. My middle boy appears to be ADHD. We are having an assessment done on Monday for that. I have DONE MYSELF, and dealt with my boys doing the homework thing. NOt doing it, doing it and not turning it in, making up elaborate stories about why its not really due, or totally having no idea what the teacher said, how to do it and breaking down into tears. Both of my boys are very smart, so brains are not the issue.
We are pretty good at using coping tools, but this year my middle boys teacher is a DOPE. She has zero classroom control. Its like she skipped that part of her teachers training. She is- as near as I can tell- teetering on the brink of being abusive with this class- and from when I have talked to her- on the verge of a breakdown!!!!

Oh wow. I have some issues with ADD/ ADHD and teachers who just don't get it.... sorry!

 

[reba515]

Alison, I agree with you! some teachers just aren't cut out to deal with behavior issues. Some are more than prepared for the struggle of dealing with this type of kid. As simple as some people can make a great pan of brownies & some people can't!

We were'nt so lucky until last year my DS had a wonderful teacher who stood by him and really took an intrest in helping him, like your boys academicaly there are no issues its the behavior that is.
So far this year his teacher has been just as great apparently this is her specialty. I think having the IEP, A 504 plan and a advocate helped to get him placed with this certain teacher.

and a mother who won't shut up! That said if you think your son is really struggling you need to stand up to the school (teachers , guidance & whoever else) and DEMAND help. or like in many school systems around the country your kid is going to get swept under the rug...remember the squeaky wheel......
Maybe he'll turn out to be as great as Greg someday!!

 

[JAE]

Wow, thanks, everyone. I have been so busy with work and my ADHD child, I haven't been on here since I posted this. I received an e-mail from one of his many middle scool teachers telling me that, again, my son didn't turn in two assignments. She wanted to know what I thought "we" could do about it. Boy, did I send her an e-mail. W/o getting into it, I basically told her I've done everything I could think of doing, and that if I can't even figure out that something is due after looking at the assignment page, then I can't expect him to figure it out, either. She may need to look at the way she assigns things. I didn't actually say that in those words, but it's what I wanted her to get out of my response. We'll see.
Oh, and he isn't severe enough to get an IEP. He does have support from the Resource Room. He is actually getting mostly high B's and A's, with one D in Social Studies. The grading scale is harder than when I went to school. A 90% is a B. Anyway, he'd be getting all A's if his work was turned in, except for Social Studies. (That Social Studies teacher is so lame. I've heard nobody does well in there.) My husband and I are the reason he's doing so well, though. We are constantly checking on his homework and making sure we help him study for all tests. I don't have a clue what it's like to not know what my child has going on in every class. He wouldn't do anything at home for school if it weren't for us being on him constantly.

 

[reba515]

an IEP has nothing to do with his grades its more of a behavior plan and expectations from both your child & teacher. My DS is very bright always A's & B's, which is also very common in children with ADHD.
And bravo to you and DH for keeping at him too! So many parents do put all the blame on the teachers.

 

[chef_kimmo]

I must admit, I haven't read every word of every post but here is some thoughts as I glanced around (speaking of ADD) I have a hard time staying on task and doing certain things. I rely on a daytimer and organization is very helpful.

Depending on his diagnosis you can get it so he can do tests in a different environment. That will help with the grades. Talk to the diagnostician - that person could help you.

When I was in college, I was not diagnosed, but went through testing. I was recommended a book called Driven to Distraction. I know I barely have time to read (and you may too) but I thought it was very good book. My son has distraction problems and I have few books that I think help. If you are interested in some of the other book names, PM me.

 

[JAE]

I've read Driven to Distraction and a couple books by Dr. Amen, and I've read some other books. I'm not confused about what my son has. I'm more concerned about the teachers that don't seem to get it.

 

[TwinGirlsMom]

I think that the FlyLady has tips for organizing your child's schoolwork...I think she calls it 'the control journal'--www.flylady.com > Table of Contents > FLYing with School Age Children.
Just thought it might help in case any of you haven't gone that route yet...

 

[JAE]

This is the newest development in my school vs. ADHD child dilemma. I'm sooo weary. (I know it's not them against my child, but you know what I'm trying to say.) The responses in bold are mine. We just had conferences Monday.

After our conference, I closely observed Jon working in class today. The students had class time to work on homework and finish their Thanksgiving prayers. I appears that Jon has more homework than most 6th graders because he does not use time efficiently. Again, this is not news to me. There is nothing I can do about this short of being in every class with him pushing him to stay on task.
The students were working on a grammar worksheet (3.3) that is due on Monday. Every one in his class was finished and moved on while Jon was not even half finished. It was not because he did not get it; I checked. I asked Jon about this. He says he's finished. He says he finished after you checked on him.

He does not stay on task, so he ends up with more to do outside of class. After school, I checked in with him in the LC. He was more concerned about the pictures (optional) than finishing "Thanksgiving Prayer Wkst#2 (in moodle) that was due yesterday. After he spent time in the LC today, this assignment still has not been handed in. He finished this in the car after school during brother's piano lesson and just now (8:45 PM) sent it after I asked him about it.

By class tomorrow, he has Thanksgiving Rough Draft 3 due in moodle. He has to complete that before he may work on the final project in Pages (complete with color pictures....). The students are looking forward to that; especially because we have visitors from New York checking out our laptop program. Jon says this is finished.

After the Bible test, Jon had to read Genesis 37, close his Bible, and take a reading comp quiz on that passage. He did not turn in his reading comp quiz. Jon says he didn't think he needed to do this at home. In my experience, it will not do any good to tell Jon anything even if he says "okay". If you don't see him do something about it, like start on the assignment or write it down in the homework template, he will not remember later. It most likely won't even cross his mind. I'm not sure if he needs to do this at home or not, and he isn't sure either. Reading is not his strong point, and if he was supposed to read Gen. 37, I'm not surprised he didn't get around to the quiz. If someone could read it to him or if he could listen on tape/cd I believe things would go much better for him. That's a lot of reading for him. Compared to the other kids in his class, I think he probably reads much, much slower. This has been a problem since at least 2nd grade, and I'm still very frustrated that he isn't receiving more understanding from the teachers and more help in this area in school.

I feel bad for Jon! Not necessary.
How can we help him finish his work?
Would it help to meet with all of Jon's 6th grade teachers? Not sure if this would help because I think I continually say the same things over and over with nothing changing. I feel that the teachers want more from Jon and me (and his dad), but we are doing everything we can.
We have to help this young man succeed. He is so capable! Yes, I completely agree that we need to help Jon succeed, but he is not necesarily capable of doing school the way it seems he's expected to do it. He does not fit into the mold the school is trying to fit him into. Hopefully, he will grow into it some day. For now, he needs more assistance, and if it isn't possible for him to get it, I will pull him out for next semester and homeschool him or pay someone else to do it. This is not a threat. The reality is that Jon is smart enough to learn if someone will help him with the organization, transitions and efficiency. I have a hard time believing that this is new to HC teachers, yet I feel as if no one has ever seen this before. Are the teachers waiting for me to do something more? I'm not in sixth grade, and if Jon can't handle sixth grade at HC then he needs more help or he needs to be pulled out. I really don't know what else the school wants from me, and I'm not a special education teacher. Jon was tested at the Christian Learning Center, but apparently he did not do poor enough to get whatever extra help I believe he needs. I don't really understand all the requirements and rules. All I know is that Jon needs more help. Can he get it at HC or not?
Let me know what you think. That is what I think. I don't know how to write all of this and not sound angry. I'm not angry as much as frustrated because I don't know what else to do.

 

[janetupnorth]

Ok, just read this more out of curiosity that anything. I don't have ADD (that I know of although I bounce from thing to thing ALL the time) nor does my daughter. I noticed though for the whole first month of school she didn't do "top notch" as she normally does and I had a similar problem to you Jill, I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT THE ASSIGNMENT WAS!!!!...just from what I am reading in this, the teachers seem inconsistent in the style/means of communication what your son needs to do each day. My daughter's school has implemented a few things for ALL the kids. 1. A homework journal - they have to write down each day what is to be done that night.
2. A folder with 2 pockets - one side says - "KEEP AT HOME" other side says - "RETURN TO SCHOOL". This tells parents what goes where.
3. A monthly calendar that lists all the activities. It tells what scripture memory is due that day, when spelling tests are and when other events occur. This helps with the "non-daily" tasks.I do know there is at least two ADHD students in my daughter's class and they have done very well with the rest of the class!