Personal Need Some Help for Dd - Tmi Bathroom Troubles

[crystalscookingnow]

This may be TMI for some, but I really need help! My oldest DD has some bathroom issues & I'm not sure how to go about helping her.

Let me give a little background. I divorced her dad when she was 18 months old. She has no recollection of us ever being together. Since she has started regular school (not preschool, she's in first grade now) she has had BM accidents. Not full on messing the pants, just like she starts to go, stops herself & runs to the bathroom to clean up. She doesn't actually go to the bathroom until she's done this about 4 or 5 times. Then when she does go, it's a massive amount - like 2 inches in diameter & 10-12" in length (sorry, I know - tmi!! :yuck

She says that it happens with us, with her dad & at school. She says that at her dad's house, they don't help her clean up & they don't usually know about it b/c it happens when they're busy with other stuff & she doesn't want to get in trouble for bothering them. At school, she just cleans herself up as best she can without drawing attention to herself. With us, she asks for my help & we take care of it.

I'm not sure what to do for her. She tries to get to the bathroom as fast as she can but I think it just hits her all at once. I've taken her to our fam. doc & she's seen a counselor (by the doc's suggestion) - the reaon I left my ex is b/c he was mentally abusive & just down right degrading & mean.

I don't know if I should do more to try & help her or if it's just something that needs to work out.

Any suggestions as to what I should do?

 

[JDooley]

sounds like she is holding it for some reason sometimes if she is going large amounts like that i would say she is holding it because it hurts to go. has she complained about anything?

 

[babywings76]

So she has seen the Dr. and a counselor? Did they have any ideas? How old is she? I would say take her to another Dr. in case she is having a medical issue that might be doing this. Is she just stifling it for fear of it hurting or being yucky, but then it causes a vicious cycle?

 

[Nanisu]

I'd maybe talk to her pediatrician and ask to let her see a specialist and make sure there are no digestive issues going on with her. And I'd discreetly let the school know--either the nurse or her teacher, so that maybe there could be an extra set of panties stored at school so that there is no embarassment in case it should not be "clean-up-able" some day. When my dd was younger and would get diarreah (sp?), which she did when she had ANY stomach issues, I let her wear those little panty liners to save her being embarrassed. Maybe talk to a GI doctor about adjusting her diet a little?

 

[Brandi2007]

I had a similar experience with my daughter when she was in second grade. Almost every day her underwear were soiled. She would try to hide them because she was embarrassed. In her mind she was too old for this to be happening and she didnt want to tell me so instead she would clean herself to her own abilities and keep quiet. Whenever I would ask her about the stains she would quickly mention she couldnt get there fast enough and change the subject.

I was concerned so I finally sat down and talked with her one on one. Turns out the teacher at school was not allowing her to go to the bathroom because everytime she seemed to have the urge it was just after snack time. In her teachers eyes, she had just had a break. But for my DD that just happened to be the time that the urge came. She would hold it so long that by the time she got permission to go it was too late. Instead of saying anything and chancing the kids in class finding out she just cleaned up what she could.

How we solved it: I talked with her teacher. Mentioned the problems we were having. Then I sent her to school with a cute purse. Inside the purse was a clean pair of underwear, a couple baby wipes in a bag, and a shopping bag to put her dirty underwear in and throw them away. This way she could help herself without having to tell anyone and also throwing away the underwear helped her to move on and forget. It was only about a week later when she no longer had the problem.

Im sure that the teacher knowing about it was a big help, but for her own security the purse helped her to feel more confident.

I have no idea if this story even helped but I thought I should share

 

[chef131doreen]

My son to this day has very large poops cause he too hold it till the last min too, he is 13 and only really goes about 2 time a week
When he was younger he kind of did the same thing messed in school a few time too.
I have talk to the doctor a fews and they said as long as he goes thats ok
I know how you feel I sill have to tell him go sit in the toilet and I'm sure you will have to go
We have no home problems my DD has nothing wrong with any bathroom issues it just him I used to think he didn't want to stop what he was playing with to take the time out to go but I don't know . And as for flushing the toilet If we could get the kind you have an a cruise ship wow that would be great

 

[ragschef]

My 4 yo has had issues with BMs since day one of potty training. as an infant it obviously didnt bother her, but as she got older we noticed she would hold it. This went on for a year before we did anything about it. I talked to the pediatrician about it and she suggested a small dose of miralax powder in a drink everyday to soften things up and make it more comfy for her to go. Madelyn holds it in simply because she doesn't like the way it feels... She's been on miralax for quite a while, but it does tend to help with the potty accidents. She gets 2 tsp in 8 oz of juice everyday at lunch. We started her at 1 tsp in 6 oz a day, then titrated up to where we are now. If she likes watermelon flavor, pedialax tablets are an awesome (and cheaper) way to get a laxative in her. I would give Madelyn one tablet a day, but she can't stand the taste of the watermelon and they don't make any other flavor, so we keep with the miralax. I would highly recommend giving it a try. But, as always, consult her pediatrician before you do anything drastic like this. They can keep a record and maybe find a simpler way to help your daughter... and if her current ped doesn't want to do anything about it, I would get a second opinion from a different peds office.

 

[sklay723]

My DD is stuck on the Miralax but we'll be trying to back off of it a little in the weeks to come. Her problem has been chronic for over a year now and is wreaking havoc on our potty training (she just turned three). Without the medicine, she'll hold it for days at a time and then when she finally lets go she's in pain and crying, and I can totally understand why...it's just not a pretty sight. Our pediatrician said that some kids convince themselves it'll hurt every time, hence the holding, but they are just sabotaging themselves and it's really hard to get out of that cycle once it's begun. Fun stuff...we'll be praying of you, because we know it's not easy!!!

 

[erinb]

One thing to possibly consider is a "potty time" schedule. This is something that could even be worked in by her teacher when she is at school. There is a boy in second grade at my kids' school that is doing this and it has helped him tremendously.

 

[ShanaSmith]

My son had a problem going too. The solution even ended up as a story at my shows! The Dr recomended that I make some cookies and add some extra fiber... Like fibersure or what not. So I made the cookies and gave some to my DH(4 of them) and my son was eating one when I realized that I had used tablespoons instead of teaspoons. I knew my DH wouldn't be any too happy, so I didn't tell him... until the next day. Needless to say we were a very regular family after that.

 

[Ish]

Chamomile tea as well as apple juice have the same sort of effect that miralax etc... it might be less harsh, non addictive and you can make it warm or iced... even send it to school as it is a normal drink...
Prunes are pretty easy to mix into cookies as they are similar to raisins... and will work the same way. Good luck