(Long)Angry Miserable Customer Nasty Nasty Nasty

Ok - so I have this neighbor, we'll call her Amanda. She's very nice, a bit intense and a bit neurotic - but she's my friend & neighbor.

Amanda brought her mother to a cooking show of mine in the neighborhood. Mom was very nice. At the end of the show Mom came up to me and praised me up & down on what an "amazing and independent woman" I am and how proud she is of me for getting thru my rough divorce and making this great career for myself so I can be home with the kids, blah blah blah, and how honored she is that I have befriended her daughter and she hopes some of my strength rubs off on her daughter, etc etc etc...she just went on and on to the point of making everyone in the room a bit uncomfy.

Mom made no purchase but did email me the next day asking if I could print up a GC for her daughter's birthday which is in April. We discussed the GC thru PC option but Mom insisted I make a personal GC for Amanda to save Amanda on s/h when she orders (so I could tack her order onto a show rather than have her order thru HO).

Mom dropped off a check under my doormat (mom also lives in our neighborhood) I printed up a lovely GC and left Mom a voicemail about when I could drop it off to her so that it'd be a good time so I wouldn't run into Amanda at Mom's house. Didn't hear back so I sent Mom an email:
Hi xxxxxxx!

Just wanted to let you know xxx's gift certificate is printed up and ready. Let me know when would be a good time to drop it off to you. I don't want to run into xxxx at your house and mess up the birthday surprise. Call me at home xxx-xxx-xxxx or on my cell xxx-xxx-xxxx and I'll swing it by whenever is good for you!

Have a great day!

Hadn't heard from her - figured she'd gone out of town for Easter and planned to call her this week. Well today I get the following email from her...the subject heading was "What a Disappointment" and the email reads:
Carolyn,

I know you have my email address and phone number from previous email. I know you have my street address and phone number from the check you received.

I know xxxx has had her order for more than a week. I know from my visit to her house today, that xxxxx has also had her order for a week. xxxx mentioned waiting on xxxxx to use her chopper, so she could borrow it.

Can you imagine how disappointed I am??? Did it ever occur to you that I might have missed xxxx's birthday??? This is no way to run a business.

I immediately called her and left her another voicemail explaining that I had left a VM and an email and assumed she'd gone away for Easter when I'd not heard back from her...etc...I followed up that voicemail with an email:

Hi xxxxxxx,
I both emailed and left you a voicemail about 8-10 days ago asking when would be a safe time for me to bring you the Gift certificate as I did not want to risk showing up when xxxx was visiting. I hadn't heard back from you so I assumed you were out of town for the Easter week. I know xxxx's birthday is in April...customer service aside, she is my FRIEND - I would never risk her missing out on her birthday present. Had I not heard from you this week, I would have followed up with another phone call or snuck around x to ask xxxxx (Amanda's DH) when I could get the gift certificate to you.
I am sorry for any confusion or if you felt neglected. Please call me on my cell 754-423-0211 and let me know when would be a good time to drop it off to you.

a few minutes later I get the following email back with the subject heading "HOW DAREYOU!!!!":

How dare you insult my intelligence rather than admit your failure. What a crock.

Do you really think that I am so stupid, that I would believe that both the phone company and my internet mail service failed, ...and not you? Or that both the phone company and the internet server lost ONLY your messages, and no one else. Really, Carolyn! Get a grip!

Even if ALL my messages had been lost by both, any professional business person would certainly have followed-up after 10 days, if there was so much as a grain of truth in your story. If nothing less, I would have thought you cared more about your reputation. Funny how neither your phone or email message was lost this time.

Afraid of running into xxxx? Give me a break. Heard of the US Postal Service? A stamp would have done the trick. Its not like you had some big package to deliver.

I came to your party. I came to your door to deliver my check. I'm not coming to you again. I have been inconvenienced enough, and do not wish to be disturbed any further ...especially not on Easter. Use the US Postal Service.

And don't call yourself xxxx's friend. Your definition is certainly not mine, nor the one xxxx was raised with.


THUD. Think maybe she's having a bad day?
Anyway - I dug thru my sent mails to make sure I had indeed sent her an email last week...and then I found the UNABLE TO DELIVER email in my spam box. So I sent her the following email:

xxxxxxx,

Below you'll find the "undeliverable email" notice that was sitting in my spam folder from the email I sent you on the 14th. Had I known the email did not go through, obviously I would have followed up sooner. I am sorry you seem to think I am such a dishonest person and not a true friend to your daughter. Clearly you do not know me. I will not bother you again. The gift certificate will go out in Monday's mail so you will not have to deal with me. You should receive it Tuesday. Please let me know if it does not arrive.

The original message was received at Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:23:31 -0400 (EDT)
from root@localhost


*** ATTENTION ***

Your e-mail is being returned to you because there was a problem with its
delivery. The address which was undeliverable is listed in the section
labeled: "----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----"
...and all the rest of the gobbledygook that was in that notice - I sent her the whole dang thing.
I have not yet heard back from her. Geez louise!!! Did I mention her mother is a recovering alcoholic? Am I to wonder if she has not fallen off the wagon? My stepmother acts like this when she falls off the wagon...sheesh!

It's people like that who make me WISH I was a drunk, or that I drank for that matter.

Holy Cow! What a crank! Happy Easter to her too!

I'm sorry you even had to deal with her- man oh man!!! The more I read your post the angrier I got for you! Grrrrrrrr

WOW that is way rude and so harsh!! Sad that shee needed to act th is way!!

Carolyn, that woman is so rude, nasty, inconsiderate, and miserable. I'm sorry you had to deal with her. Your response was very succinct and put her in her place without accusing her of wrong doing. Way to go.Bless and release....

Blessing and releasing...unfortunately she lives IN my neighborhood although, I must say, before she attended my show I had never seen her. Hopefully I'll not see her again. I wonder how her daughter is going to react? or if she's even going to say anything ot her daughter?

Oh my gosh!! Sounds like she is off her meds....or mixing alcohol with them! It will be interesting to see if your friend says anything when she redeems the gc. Take a deep breath and go eat some chocolate

dannyzmom said:

Blessing and releasing...unfortunately she lives IN my neighborhood although, I must say, before she attended my show I had never seen her. Hopefully I'll not see her again. I wonder how her daughter is going to react? or if she's even going to say anything ot her daughter?

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Grrrrrr- Way to bless her and release it! I must be cranky tonight because I'm wishing I knew where my Voodoo doll was.

KIDDING!!! but if I weren't such a pure, innocent angel, I'd be wondering where my voodoo doll was!:angel:

OH MY GOODNESS!!! What a freak!!! I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I tend to think that maybe she has fallen off the wagon as well! What completely strange behavior. I could not even begin to imagine my mom talking so rudely to someone, even in an email.

Just get that thing in the mail asap and then forget about it. She doesn't deserve another moment of your time. I hope this doesn't end up affecting your relationship with her daughter. Although it doesn't sound like it would be a huge loss, she is still your neighbor as well.

CRAZY!!!!!

Kitchen Diva said:

It's people like that who make me WISH I was a drunk, or that I drank for that matter.

Holy Cow! What a crank! Happy Easter to her too!

I'm sorry you even had to deal with her- man oh man!!! The more I read your post the angrier I got for you! Grrrrrrrr

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ROFL...I am not a drinker, I am a chocoholic. I've been sitting here eating an Entenmannn's Marshmallow Iced Devil's Food Cake...straight otu of the box LOL

Kitchen Diva said:

Grrrrrr- Way to bless her and release it! I must be cranky tonight because I'm wishing I knew where my Voodoo doll was.

KIDDING!!! but if I weren't such a pure, innocent angel, I'd be wondering where my voodoo doll was!:angel:

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Oh wow - I need to get me a Voodoo doll!!

Hmmmm...I guess she finally passed out. She has not written back.

I would print all emails sent to her. I would also print all bounced email messages to her, and include them in the envelope with the GC, along with a quick note that says "Dear__________: as you can see I honestly did try to email you "x" number of times--and it was returned to me. Here is the GC, in plenty of time for her birthday. Thanks again for doing business with me."
And then LET IT GO!!!!! If you see her again, in your neighborhood, take the high road and be a bigger person--and be cordial but not sappy. Some people need to get a life, and she is obviously one of them. Prozac anyone?

Wow! You definately handled that one with grace. Kudos to you.

So sorry you had to go through this. You did the best you could and stepping away is the best solution.
It's like I tell DS about bullies - "They are sad and angry and they want you to be sad and angry too. Just walk away."

Just send the GC and be happy you don't have her issues.

susanr613 said:

So sorry you had to go through this. You did the best you could and stepping away is the best solution.
It's like I tell DS about bullies - "They are sad and angry and they want you to be sad and angry too. Just walk away."

Just send the GC and be happy you don't have her issues.

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What a great way to explain it to your son!

pamperedlinda said:

Wow! You definately handled that one with grace. Kudos to you.

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Aw thanks Linda
The Entenmann's Marshmallow Iced Devil's Food Cake certainly helped!

Dang, girl!!!!!!! I am soooo sorry! Try your best to let it go, and by that I mean, just put it in the mail on Monday and try not to think of it and by all means don't think about it tomorrow!
Your situation here reminds me of when a girl hosted with me and her Mom called me after the show and left a message on my voicemail and went on and on about how her daughter didn't know she was suppossed to pay for the food and how I should do a better job at explaining this and yadayadayada! How she would tell everyone not to have a show with me because I wasn't forthright with what is expected out of the host and blah, blah, blah!
When I talked to the host, she said she was sorry and she didn't know why her Mom did that. She said it wasn't that big a deal to her.... ( they were low income and the hubby was in full time school and she was a stay home mom) I let it go and so did she and when the show was all done, I just kinda washed my hands of it and didn't really pursue the bookings. I still did shows with the host in which this host/daughter booked from but not anymore where I would have to deal with this wacked out woman/mom!

A few years pass by and this host/daughter has been in the news and I've heard through the grapevine that she stirs up just as much grief with everyone as her mother did with me. They are just really freaky people. The girl has some mental issues I believe, and she was in the news because she had taken off one day, she just needed to get a way, she did not tell her hubby where she was going, made it appear like she was just going to the store, and drove 2 states away.... with all of her kids and then decided it was time to go home and on her way back home, she fell asleep at the wheel and obviously lost control, her car went down a steep hill, and somehow ended up the wrong way on a set of train tracks, that just happened to have a train coming at that same moment and 2 of her 3 kids were killed in the accident.
I remember all of her friends doing a lot for her and trying hard to help her earn money to cover costs and all that.
I called to my friend, who she scheduled her show off of, and expressed my sympathy and asked if I could do anything. She thanked me, said no except to maybe donate money and where to go to do so.

I did a show for my friend last fall and in walks this girl, who acts like nothing ever happened, pregnant and loud and acting like a know-it-all and is lecturing everyone (at seperate times) about their mothering skills!

My friend finally has put an end to the friendship because it is not healthy for her and her family!
She (the daughter, my host) causes problems with all of her friends that were there for her, and causes rifts and is always the center of all the arguements.

There is A LOT more to this story than I am telling here and there was a lot revealed in the news of the girls past.... some really troubling stuff... I am just trying to give you the condensed version!

I tell you all this, because sometimes there is some serious emotional/mental baggage that goes along with people! I am so glad I did not take such an offense that I called the mom of this girl back and that when her (the daughter) and I closed the show that we just dropped it.... I would not want to be wrapped up in this family....

Carolyn, I think you handled yourself well and you know you didn't do anything wrong! Make sure you save all the e-mails and if your friend, her daughter, does become involved, you can show her the e-mails and you can't fake the date and time that is on your one that ended up in the spam mail! Hopefully she will see it from your side and tell her Mom to get a grip! It would be nice to have that woman apologize! I will keep my fingers crossed! Even if you don't care that she does, I think she owes an apology to you!

I can't get over the nerve of some people!

nut-jobCarolyn, you did a GREAT job is being professional (and calm) in dealing with this woman. Just deliver the GC and be thankful you are done with her!

It takes all kinds.....

Oh Carolyn, that just sucks! You definitely handled it with grace (I know, the chocolate helps!)

Please let us know how it all turns out. I'm very curious to find out what her daughter says. I know the GC isn't being given until April; maybe you just may happen to call the daughter to "chat" and see if anything's said .

Wow! You are definately better then me, I would of mailed her check back to her with a note "Find another Consultant"

I would definately mention this to your friend---after her birthday.

Her mother was wrong in all sorts of ways!

Definitely talk to your friend about it. Especially if she is your friend. Her mother sounds like a definite fruit loop. You handled is very gracefully. I wouldn't let people like that get me down. Easier said than done I suppose.

Mom blasted me with another happy email this morning. I wrote her back basically saying enough is enough - I will NOT be attacked and belittled. The GC will be in her mailbox by tuesday and I'd appreciate if she found herself a nother PC consultant if ever she should need one.

dannyzmom said:

Mom blasted me with another happy email this morning. I wrote her back basically saying enough is enough - I will NOT be attacked and belittled. The GC will be in her mailbox by tuesday and I'd appreciate if she found herself a nother PC consultant if ever she should need one.

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Wow, what a wacko!! Did you cash her check? She may put a stop payment on it??

letscook04 said:

Wow, what a wacko!! Did you cash her check? She may put a stop payment on it??

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Yeah - I cashed it 2 weeks ago. No worries.

That's good!! GOOD LUCK!!!!

WaHoo for firing this customer!! I agree with ChefKristen to talk to your friend about the incident. Wait until after her birthday so you won't "ruin the gift" for her. I wouldn't trash her mom. I would just say "I think you should know..." or "I am concerned for your mom because..."

I would mail Crazy lady a copy of all of your transactions with a $1 cookbook. On the inside front page write an apology of sorts for not double checking to make sure the email went through. That you value your business and would never do anything to deliberately hurt it. You understand her wanting the gift certificate on time. You value her daughter's friendship and that is why it is best not to do business with her anymore. Accidents can happen and you don't want to take the chance it might happen again with her. Let her know that if she ever needs a consultant that she can go to the website and they will find one for her. If your name should pop up she should try again or call you so you can recomend someone. Then simply close it with something simple like- Take care,

Heck...give her one of our names Just prepare us that satan is calling...

You know she won't throw away the cookbook, and eventually (when she is back on her horemone patch or dries up) everytime she looks at it she should be ashamed of her behavior. You aren't really punishing her, you are taking the high road and helping her see the truth. She might over time toss the book...but she might end up apologizing for accusing you of not being a good consultant or a caring friend.

Sounds like you have handled this very well Carolyn. She sounds like a total nut job. I too would print off all the emails just in case she says something to her daughter.

Wow, Carolyn, my blood would have been boiling. I think you handled yourself well. What a scary woman. I hope you've heard the last from her so you can bless and release. I think you handled yourself in a dignified manner and she's just a piece of work.

Nanisu said:

I would print all emails sent to her. I would also print all bounced email messages to her, and include them in the envelope with the GC, along with a quick note that says "Dear__________: as you can see I honestly did try to email you "x" number of times--and it was returned to me. Here is the GC, in plenty of time for her birthday. Thanks again for doing business with me."
And then LET IT GO!!!!! If you see her again, in your neighborhood, take the high road and be a bigger person--and be cordial but not sappy. Some people need to get a life, and she is obviously one of them. Prozac anyone?

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Forget Prozac, this woman clearly needs LITHIUM!