How Do I Respond to an Upset Host About Shared Show Details?

[pcchefjane]

You can also tell her after you have all the dates confirmed when each is and that SHE is also entitled to the Host Special from each show. Wonder how she will feel then? I just can't understand her whole deal. If she was considering being a Consultant, she must have realized that is how we make our money! Contact those that booked ASAP! I'd hate to think she is badmouthing you but if she is in Marketing, she knows that one of the biggest ways you "market" is by sharing successes from those who used the "services" before... Bless and release is best with someone like this. Yes, AnnieBee, I read your Post #5 and just don't get why she would be embarrassed. Sorry...

 

[susanr613]

i'm sorry that your host was offended by the direct sales business model and practices, and embarassed by her friends knowing her benefits.

i would not have any further communication with her. you tried to apologize and she was not willing to play nice with you. her comment about "being in marketing" shows that she is ignorant of how we in DS conduct business. Newsflash to her - in the end, you ARE trying to get more business.

Go ahead and pursue those 5 bookings - you earned them, and unless your host has a change of heart, she likely won't be a consultant.

 

[Sheleif]

I would be willing to bet that this woman is a drama queen. I am sorry that this happened to you. I know it hard but try and let it run off your back. You did nothing wrong. ((hugs))

 

[AnnieBee]

You can also tell her after you have all the dates confirmed when each is and that SHE is also entitled to the Host Special from each show. Wonder how she will feel then? I just can't understand her whole deal. If she was considering being a Consultant, she must have realized that is how we make our money! Contact those that booked ASAP! I'd hate to think she is badmouthing you but if she is in Marketing, she knows that one of the biggest ways you "market" is by sharing successes from those who used the "services" before...

Bless and release is best with someone like this.

Yes, AnnieBee, I read your Post #5 and just don't get why she would be embarrassed. Sorry...

No problem!

Two more things...

1) Absolutely call and get the bookings
2) Just in case you didn't know, you can edit the "thank you" letter! Not so much that you would want to use it this time, but I thought you might like to know for the future. I quite often delete the part about how much the commission is, depending on the host.

 

[pc_cindy]

I agree with AnnieBee. I would send one last communication like what AnnieBee wrote. I would take out the second half of the line "Like I said earlier, this has been my standard practice for over 150 shows, and I have never had a host who has tell me they were bothered by it." mainly because it somewhat dismisses her feelings. When I feel offended, I truly don't care what 150 others thought. Add a period after shows. Just my two cents.

 

[Jules711]

I think Annabel's "email" sounds great. This would upset me too. Not that she was upset that you shared her benefits, but then she isn't letting it go! I have had hosts request that I don't share the total sales with people (mostly siblings) and I actually don't share that info. I tell them to ask the host or tell them it was very successful...whatever.Hopefully, her friends know how she is and it won't affect your business. I think was SHE is doing is tacky and rude. Marketing...huh...so HOW would she market your business?

 

[jrodeo]

I don't think she feels she is worthy of all the free products and so thinks her friends don't think she is worthy either. You have already apologized. Any further attempt on your part to get her to understand isn't helping either one of you. She will think you are trying to "one up" her by having the last word and pardon me for saying this, but try to let go of the need to have her happy with you. You've done nothing wrong.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[flemings99]

Thanks for all the responses. It's made my day so much better. ---I did go ahead and call the other potiental host & ended up lmtc again--I'm leaving it alone for now. If they call back, great--if not I'm moving on. I've got 11 shows for FEB---I'll be fine if they don't work out.

I am putting the top copy sales reciepts in the mail tomorrow with an editted thank you p3 letter. I also put nice thank you stickers on every order enclosed. My plan...kill it with kindness!

 

[pjpamchef]

I would send out the standard Thank You letter from p-3, to further your case that it is standard business practice. Then I would hand write a note at the bottom thanking her for all her hard work to make her show a sucess. One lesson my Mother taught me when I was young, it is hard to be mean and hateful to someone who keeps coming back and is nice. She is a lost cause, but she did give you a great show and some potential bookings!! Kill her with kindess!! (remember sucess is the ultimate revenge) Don't give her a single reason to say anything bad about you to her friends, chances are they know her better than you think!!

 

[Christ Follower]

Wow...

I was just thinking, "What a great idea to send out an email like that!" LOL!

I hope those bookings work out for you. Sorry your host reacted that way.

 

[legacypc46]

I guess I'm in the minority on this one, but a DS consultant would probably lose my business if she shared how much I received from hosting a show. I don't consider it my guests' business to know how I do or do not benefit when hosting a DS party. (And it's a little surprising to read the posts about how 'crazy' I must be to feel that way :cry

I am sorry to hear the host was so nasty...not called for! I do love Annabel's email! Nicely worded! I also like Joy's suggestion of sharing how much hosts save...it sounds less self-serving to all involved, but gets the point across.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I guess I'm in the minority on this one, but a DS consultant would probably lose my business if she shared how much I received from hosting a show. I don't consider it my guests' business to know how I do or do not benefit when hosting a DS party. (And it's a little surprising to read the posts about how 'crazy' I must be to feel that way :cry

I am sorry to hear the host was so nasty...not called for! I do love Annabel's email! Nicely worded! I also like Joy's suggestion of sharing how much hosts save...it sounds less self-serving to all involved, but gets the point across.

I agree with this. In fact, although I absolutely love my Tasty Tidbits newsletter - I always delete the "best host" part. I know for a fact it would embarrass some of my hosts to be listed there.

Occasionally, I will have a guest ask me how a host did. I respond by saying that she had a successful, fun party....and that she should ask the host about all of the great benefits she received. Then it's between friends, and I'm not in the middle of it.

 

[amy07]

interesting views on both sides. Now I'm glad that I all I send is a thank you email with the recipe. So far, nobody has sent an angry email about the recipe.........(fingers crossed)

 

[heather223]

I don't tell the guests what the host got for free- I let them ask the host. I do let my host know how much she got for free with the Thank you letter.

Once in a while I will put the top host in my newsletter, but not often. I agree that it is a touchy subject....... only becuase people do for some reason get slightly offended by it.

 

[chefsteph07]

I never thought about taking that out of a newsletter.., I guess maybe there is a point taken by that...
I have "top sellers" of the year listed on my website, what do you think of that? It has their name, city and show amount. I do this for $500 in sales and over. Wonder if I should take that out too?

 

[AnnieBee]

I never thought about taking that out of a newsletter.., I guess maybe there is a point taken by that...
I have "top sellers" of the year listed on my website, what do you think of that? It has their name, city and show amount. I do this for $500 in sales and over. Wonder if I should take that out too?

Maybe you could take out their last name?

Personally, I don't and won't list top sellers or tell guests how much the host got, I think Becky's way of handling it sounds great.

 

[babywings76]

Maybe when closing a show, it could be said, "Wow! What a great show you had! Would you mind if in my next newsletter I shared with people about how well you did?" Maybe you could also say that those whose show totals you mention get a free spice or something? Then maybe they won't mind. And maybe tell them how you usually send out an e-mail to guests after a show to thank them, etc, and see if that's okay about sharing the info? Just an idea. I haven't done this before, and tend to shy away from giving out specific amounts to people, other than generalities during a show: "Well, I just had a host who earned $xxx" But not say the name.

 

[flemings99]

Obviously will do things different in the future and glad that it was brought to my attention so I can change how I do things.

For me, I don't think it's any different than going to Target finding a great clearance sale and calling my friend to tell her all about how much I saved and she'd better get there quick or miss out. My BFF & I used to do this all the time when our kids were in diapers. Speaking of---If you have kids in diapers---last week they were clearancing out the pampers specail box sizes---it brought me back to those days. Check your local target.

Brings me back to my college days---we're all different and have different life experiences that make up who we are. It's not wrong to feel one way or another--it's just who we are and what makes us who we are. And that difference is what we have to accept and love about each other, although it's not always easy.

 

[pampcheflisa]

Obviously will do things different in the future and glad that it was brought to my attention so I can change how I do things.

For me, I don't think it's any different than going to Target finding a great clearance sale and calling my friend to tell her all about how much I saved and she'd better get there quick or miss out. My BFF & I used to do this all the time when our kids were in diapers. Speaking of---If you have kids in diapers---last week they were clearancing out the pampers specail box sizes---it brought me back to those days. Check your local target.

Brings me back to my college days---we're all different and have different life experiences that make up who we are. It's not wrong to feel one way or another--it's just who we are and what makes us who we are. And that difference is what we have to accept and love about each other, although it's not always easy.

That is a wonderful attitude to take, especially after the situation you just went through. That definitely makes you "being the bigger person".

 

[gailz2]

I agree not to send anything further, except newsletters. She is an overly touchy host and nothing you can say is going to improve that now. Don't let it get to you personally.

 

[etteluap70PC]

I agree with this. In fact, although I absolutely love my Tasty Tidbits newsletter - I always delete the "best host" part. I know for a fact it would embarrass some of my hosts to be listed there.

I just use first names so most people will not know. I mean how many Ann's, Becky's, or Sarah's are in any given town? I had 3 different Sarah's do a show in 1 month before.

Again this is why I love the DS biz. We can all choose how things work best for us!

 

[Camoblonde39]

Every host I have had has been excited to tell everyone how much free stuff she got! I have had home parties of my own and my friends always wanted to know how much free stuff I got and then some of them even booked parties themselves after they found out how easy it was to get a lot of free stuff. I don't understand why she was mad either.

 

[legacypc46]

I list all my 1K hosts on my website, but just their first name and the initial of their last name.

 

[byrd1956]

I use to always have info. on how the host did in the thank you letters I mailed to each guest. Then I had a host (who use to do PC) ask me at the close of the show not to include that information when I sent out the thank you letters. She said she knew it came from the home office, but she did not feel comfortable 'bragging', especially when others would not be in the position to have as successful a show. She has had several shows for me since then and now I just send a thank you and the recipe via e-mail, unless the guest wants me to snail mail it to them.

 

[PCMelissa]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear her response! My suggestion to you at this point would be to email something like:

I just wanted to email to apologize once more, I am truly sorry that you were offended by my email to your guests. Like I said earlier, this has been my standard practice for over 150 shows, and I have never had a host who has tell me they were bothered by it. I pride myself on running my business with integrity and good customer service, and as such, if I had ever thought that a host would find it offensive or tacky I would not have done this. My experience has been that hosts are typically excited to share their good fortune and experience with the friends that have helped them by attending the show.

I am sad (not quite the right word, but I'm having trouble coming up with the right one. "upset" isn't quite right either...) that you felt that I was "just out for myself" and only trying to get more business. My goal in being a consultant is to help my hosts and guests to have a fun evening, learn a recipe, show them some great products, and give them time and money saving tips. I also aim to help my hosts get some great free and discounted PC products, and I provide bonuses in addition to those provided by TPC. As I said before, I also pride myself on providing great customer service. However, when it comes to trying to "get more business", then yes, that is something that I also aim to do. Being a consultant is not a hobby for me, it is my personal business, and I rely on the income provided to help pay my bills. As such, like any other business owner, I will market my services and host benefits to the guests at my shows in order for my business to be grow and be successful. I do not feel that that is unreasonable, and it certainly does not mean that I am "only out for myself". I do hope you can see my perspective on that.

I truly hope that you and your guests had an fun evening and enjoy your new PC products. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

Sincerely,

XXX XXX

Of course it might be better to just bless and release, but I just have a hard time not defending myself, and I really would hope that she could see your perspective...

Anyone else have a comment? Agree or disagree?

Wow, VERY well written... I would totally be sending that one on. And personally, I think SAD is a very good word choice.

 

[pampered.chris]

I haven't received any negative response to the "Hostess of the Month" section of my Tasty Tidbits newsletter. In fact, I have had so many hostess's ask me if they will be the "next" one! They get excited to show off what they got!!

I am now torn about whether or not I should include it. I am thinking I will start asking my hosts if they would mind being featured in my newsletter.

Now to figure out the most tactful and exciting happy way to ask the hostess's...any thoughts?

 

[princessmeshelle]

i haven't had many shows, but i have asked my hostess's either before the show or after if they minded me putting it in my newsletter. after reading this thread, i m now thinking of adding a "consent form" to my host packet or closing routine. just a note explaining i have this section in my newsletter/website/thank you notes that i usually post show results in. maybe include an example of what that section would look like. just so the host would know what she is allowing me to do. i know it would take time on my part. but if i want to keep these as a part of my routine, i think it would keep me from having to experience this first hand.

i'm sorry you had to go through this. the only thing i have to add is if it is your normal routine to send a thank you note, i would do so. if her friends hold their bookings, you are covering your tail. i wouldn't want someone to find out their friend got a thank you note when they didn't. that just gives them a reason to bad mouth.(although, it would be a petty reason to do so!)

 

[chefsteph07]

Wow, VERY well written... I would totally be sending that one on. And personally, I think SAD is a very good word choice.

Instead of sad I would put disappointed. That kind of puts it back on the host that she would think that about you as her consultant.

 

[DebbieSAChef]

Well this is something we are not normally used to but I see how maybe a host would be embarrassed to share her extremely successful show if one of her good friends also recently had a show and it was not so successful. Some people really care about what others think.
It's really sad how she was so rude to you and assumed that trying to get business is a bad thing. She obviously does not know anything about marketing and how word of mouth definitely helps with our PC businesses.
I also agree that you don't have to send out another follow up letter or something to try to make her feel better, it won't work. Someone like this is going to be stubborn that you wronged her and you should just end the relationship as quickly as possible.
Try to focus on your bookings and have really successful shows. Ask your hosts in this particular social circle if they mind the email you will be sending out, because I am sure she will be bringing it up to them. That way she can see that you did take her advice, at least with these ladies, and asked them so she can see that people typically don't have a problem with it.
And I also agree that people usually know that coming to a PC party means that what you purchase will give the host FREE stuff. It's not a secret and I personally would be happy for a friend of mine who worked hard and had a successful show!
You can't please everyone! Learn from this experience but don't let it get you down. You didn't do anything wrong. Congrats on a great show and 5 bookings!!!

Debbie

 

[kam]

I, too, can see how it might be embarrasing. In fact, as a host, I would not want to brag at how much stuff I got for free.

But, I agree that they might be embarrased if their friend did not have as good of a show.

Many times you are in a "circle" of friends and I have noticed that some may order more off of someone they like better. I have had guests say, I'll order from so and so when she has her party (and place a much larger order at that time). I have 2 hosts that come to mind. They work in the same place and one always has a lot more $ in outside orders from the same outside people.

So, I would be embarrased too, if my friend didn't do so well and I did.

But, it was uncalled for getting as nasty as she did. She could hvae made her point in a nice (professional) manner.