jrstephens
- 7,133
I have read this before but it is so funny when I got it tonight, I had to post it for all of you!
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for
it.These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you quit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk
boxers.You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all
of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex
or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating
on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S.
Don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia
together!
Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you &
I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from
what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &
griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that
came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So
when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2
tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone..
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling
life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime
from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for
it.These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you quit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk
boxers.You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all
of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex
or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating
on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S.
Don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia
together!
Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you &
I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from
what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &
griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that
came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So
when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2
tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone..
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling
life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime
from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem
