background: My mother is an emotionally violent timebomb. Over 2 years ago my mother went off on me for not signing some grant applications she was filling out. I didn't do it
1. because I would've been lying.
2. because my DS (6at the time) had to have an emergency surgery and it wasn't on my mind. Gee I wonder why?
So, when we got home from the hospital I called my mother to tell her what had been happening. She totally went off on me on how I ruined this grant thing for her, and to make it short: She wanted nothing to do with me. and that I was a total disappointment to her and that she hated me. BTW I never got to tell her what had happened with my DS, she hung up on me twice.
Now, this was not the first time she had ever had a rant on me like this. But after the emotional rollercoaster with my DS's surgery and recovery I decided it would be the last time I would ever be at the mercy of her verbal whippings. Granted it took much time, energy, counseling and $$ to get to that point.
I have had no contact with her until last year. She called out of the blue one evening. Yes, it took her over a year to call/contact me. No apology. No responsibility for her action. I told her that unless she could acknowledge what she had done/said I didn't have time to listen to a conversation on how I needed to move forward. She refused.
No contact. Until today. A year later. My 2 youngest children (twins) have their b-day coming up at the end of this month. Today I received 4 packages in the mail. 2 for each child. I'm sick. Literally sick to my stomach.
I had accepted the fact that I was no longer going to have a relationship with this woman. In all honesty, as awful as it sounds, she is/was dead to me. My story could go on, on, on but let's just suffice it to say that she threw me out of the house when I was just 13 years old (during one of emotional outbursts). Luckily my father was involved in my life and finished raising me til I was 18 at his house.
I refuse to let her drag my children into her warped mental state. Now, my children really don't even know/remember her. And awful as it sounds and as hard as it is to admit this: I have told them that my mother is dead. I cannot imagine dealing with this emotional crap of having her in my life again & again & again. It's hurtful to me, my family, and my marriage.
if you've read this far, sorry for my soap opera. Venting like this is alot easier for me. No one can see the tears or hurt!
1. because I would've been lying.
2. because my DS (6at the time) had to have an emergency surgery and it wasn't on my mind. Gee I wonder why?
So, when we got home from the hospital I called my mother to tell her what had been happening. She totally went off on me on how I ruined this grant thing for her, and to make it short: She wanted nothing to do with me. and that I was a total disappointment to her and that she hated me. BTW I never got to tell her what had happened with my DS, she hung up on me twice.
Now, this was not the first time she had ever had a rant on me like this. But after the emotional rollercoaster with my DS's surgery and recovery I decided it would be the last time I would ever be at the mercy of her verbal whippings. Granted it took much time, energy, counseling and $$ to get to that point.
I have had no contact with her until last year. She called out of the blue one evening. Yes, it took her over a year to call/contact me. No apology. No responsibility for her action. I told her that unless she could acknowledge what she had done/said I didn't have time to listen to a conversation on how I needed to move forward. She refused.
No contact. Until today. A year later. My 2 youngest children (twins) have their b-day coming up at the end of this month. Today I received 4 packages in the mail. 2 for each child. I'm sick. Literally sick to my stomach.
I had accepted the fact that I was no longer going to have a relationship with this woman. In all honesty, as awful as it sounds, she is/was dead to me. My story could go on, on, on but let's just suffice it to say that she threw me out of the house when I was just 13 years old (during one of emotional outbursts). Luckily my father was involved in my life and finished raising me til I was 18 at his house.
I refuse to let her drag my children into her warped mental state. Now, my children really don't even know/remember her. And awful as it sounds and as hard as it is to admit this: I have told them that my mother is dead. I cannot imagine dealing with this emotional crap of having her in my life again & again & again. It's hurtful to me, my family, and my marriage.
if you've read this far, sorry for my soap opera. Venting like this is alot easier for me. No one can see the tears or hurt!