Hosting Headaches: A Frustrating Experience with an Uncooperative Host

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Discussion Overview

This thread discusses the challenges faced by a consultant in managing a show with a host who has unrealistic expectations and misunderstandings about the host benefits. Participants share their experiences and frustrations regarding the host's approach to the event and her communication with potential guests.

Discussion Character

  • Opinion-based
  • Anecdotal
  • Debate/contested

Main Points Raised

  • One participant, identifying as a consultant, expresses frustration over the host's insistence that guests do not need to buy anything, which may undermine sales.
  • Another participant shares their experience that the host seems to misunderstand the host benefits, believing she receives a 60% discount on all items rather than just one piece or set.
  • Several users mention that the host's emphasis on "no pressure" may inadvertently create pressure for guests to buy nothing.
  • One participant suggests that the host's approach could sabotage her own success and that of the show.
  • Another participant humorously suggests that the host might be better suited for a catalog show rather than a traditional party format.
  • One participant notes the importance of clarifying host benefits during the show to avoid further misunderstandings.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Views differ among participants regarding the best approach to handle the host's misconceptions and the potential impact on the show. No clear consensus emerges on how to proceed with the situation.

Contextual Notes

The discussion reflects personal experiences and opinions regarding the dynamics between consultants and their hosts, particularly in the context of direct sales events.

Who May Find This Useful

Consultants facing similar challenges with uncooperative hosts or misunderstandings about host benefits may find the shared experiences and viewpoints relevant.

Chefstover2
Chefstover2
Messages
593
OK, I met this lady at an expo I had a booth at and invited her to a show that was nearby. She was possibly interested in making some $$, so a potential recruit. She came to the show and really enjoyed herself, ordered some items...all good.

She calls me earlier this month and decides she wants to have a show...great! We book her for September because she really wants the 12" skillet. I offer to mail invites for all my hosts. Her first e-mail to me with the addresses is.....4 people!:cry: Eventually she provides me with a significantly longer list and all is well...except she's asked me to mail a catalog along with every invitation so people can preview the catalog before the show. No, I explained, it really is pretty expensive for me to do that. They are provided with my website where they can browse the catalog online and if anyone REALLY needs one, I'll be happy to send one or two out. I bring them to the show.

Until I call to do some host coaching and she casually tells me she's told EVERYONE they don't have to buy anything because she's getting 60% off anyway, just come for the food! :eek: No, I carefully explain the host benefits and how they work (again). Not a big deal, I tell her, most people understand how the party plan works and I think it'll be fine, just don't mention it again or stress they don't have to buy.

We also had a conversation about the recipe...she wanted Creamy One Pot Pasta but also wants me to use the DCB and Avocado Peeler. OK, let's make some chicken breasts, chunk them and make them available to anyone who wants to add meat to their pasta. We'll also do the salsa/guacamole thing. Great.

So, today we're going over the grocery list (her show is this week) and she tells me to prepare for 15 but to expect 5 and she's still concerned about not wanting anyone to feel obligated to buy. :mad: I'd finally had enough and told her I'm not a caterer and I make my living by what I sell, not what I prepare. While I'm not a high-pressure sales person and don't want anyone to feel obligated, I don't want to tell people NOT to buy anything.

Also, she's forwarded an e-mail reminder she sent around to her friends and I quote: The entire "show" lasts 45 minutes, then it's time to enjoy the FREE MEAL. We've decided to add BAKED CHICKEN and GUACAMOLE w/chips to the VEGETARIAN CREAMY PASTA so there should be plenty of food and variety. I'll have lots of non alcoholic beverages in addition to some red wine. After everyone has had a chance to eat, there will be time to look thru/place orders from the catalogs that kristen will hand out to everyone who shows up. Again, there is NO obligation whatsoever to buy anything at the party. If sales do happen to go over $155, then I get a hefty %60discount, however, I've already decided to buy a couple of items [the guacamole peeler, and stoneware covered bake dish etc. regardless of attendance or sales.]

Wait a minute, BAKED CHICKEN?? :confused: I e-mailed her back and told her she's welcome to prepare a baked chicken dish on her own and I'll supplement with the pasta and guacamole.

Can I just say I'm so over this show? I hardly know even what to say to the woman! I really feel like I've done my best to be professional. Am I over-reacting here?

Sorry this is so long...thanks for letting me vent!
 
YIKES!!!!Does she also think she gets 60% on EVERYTHING?I'd go over host benefits at the show as part of your spiel for sure!She is paying for ingredients right????It seems like she's so concerned about "buying pressure" and bugging friends that she is overemphasizing it. She needs to just stop...Hmm...wonder if you can politely tell her that from experience, guests feel less pressure to buy if you stop telling them there is no pressure to buy. By stating there is NO PRESSURE, they feel pressure!I hope this show turns out great DESPITE your host.
 
She totally doesn't get it. She's also completely mis-representing her host benefits by saying she gets a "hefty 60% discount" - she only gets that on one piece or one set of cookware, not everything she wants!! She's obviously not a salesperson - you never apologize before you ask them if they want to buy something - that's up to people to do that on their own!!

Wow, sorry she's being so crazy - I hope it goes okay!!! Good luck!
 
geeze.... maybe you feel ill???? and have to cancel


just kidding
 
And she is a possible recruit? More like kitnapper.
Maybe you should turn this into a catalog show, let her have a party with her 5 friends with all the food she wants, and whatever sales happen are up to her.

And if I were a guest hearing how she was getting 60% off, I would already have a preconceived notion of everything being that overpriced, and definately NOT buy a thing. She is doing a great job sabotaging herself.

Maybe she is a direct- sales party guru, and has done all the rest, and she has already bled her friends dry.
 
laurichef said:
And she is a possible recruit? More like kitnapper.
Maybe you should turn this into a catalog show, let her have a party with her 5 friends with all the food she wants, and whatever sales happen are up to her.

And if I were a guest hearing how she was getting 60% off, I would already have a preconceived notion of everything being that overpriced, and definately NOT buy a thing. She is doing a great job sabotaging herself.

Maybe she is a direct- sales party guru, and has done all the rest, and she has already bled her friends dry.
Click to expand...

As far as the catalog thing, I'd send out the mini's if she wants to REIMBURSE you for the postage. Make that clear. I think we should do whatever we can to please our hosts, but sending a full catalog to each guest is a waste! They can view the catalog online and when they arrive.
You need to take control of this host and the party and if she is not going to do her part to work to get sales (sounds like she's only going for $150 anyway, and if no one buys, she'lll make up the diff to get her cookware) then you DO need to turn this into a catalog or online show. And you KNOW that when you get there, she's going to be saying while you do your demo "you don't have to buy, just eat..."....and if no one is expected to buy anything why do the party??? You are only going to be wasting your time and I'd try to get out of it asap.
 
Hi Kristin!!!

OBTUSE...???? Honey, you are sooooo nice!? She sounds dumb as a doorknob!
 
  • Thread starter
  • #8
janetupnorth said:
YIKES!!!!

Does she also think she gets 60% on EVERYTHING?

I'd go over host benefits at the show as part of your spiel for sure!

She is paying for ingredients right????

It seems like she's so concerned about "buying pressure" and bugging friends that she is overemphasizing it. She needs to just stop...

Hmm...wonder if you can politely tell her that from experience, guests feel less pressure to buy if you stop telling them there is no pressure to buy. By stating there is NO PRESSURE, they feel pressure!

I hope this show turns out great DESPITE your host.
Click to expand...

It does sound like she thinks she's getting 60% off everything in spite of the fact that I explained very specifically any one piece or any one set of cookware, then the rest is free, 1/2 price or discounted depending on the level of sales. And I explained it at the first show she was at, too!

Yes, she's paying for the groceries, but I almost wish I were providing them and have her pay me back...she went shopping today for a Thursday show! Keep your fingers crossed!!!
 
chefmeg said:
Hi Kristin!!!

OBTUSE...???? Honey, you are sooooo nice!? She sounds dumb as a doorknob!
Click to expand...

Meg~

You made me laugh!

Kristin~

Sorry you are dealing with this one! Sounds like you have done all you can do...explained it different ways, and she just has it in her head how it's gonna be. I agree with the above posts...she is sabotaging HERSELF. If she calls and says only 2 people are gonna be there, I would tell her she needs to just do a catty show. What a mess for you to deal with!
 
chefsteph07 said:
As far as the catalog thing, I'd send out the mini's
Click to expand...


For sure just the mini catalogs....
 
I think I'd send her an email outline EXACTLY how our host benefits work. Make sure it mentions that you've already discussed this with her. Make sure you send it with delivery confirmation. This sounds like the kind of person who will try to "collect" her 60% off everything, then complain to the HO about how you "misrepresented" things. With a confirmed email, you have proof of what you told her.I'm a big believer in covering my own sizable tushie in these situations. ;)
 
  • Thread starter
  • #12
raebates said:
I think I'd send her an email outline EXACTLY how our host benefits work. Make sure it mentions that you've already discussed this with her. Make sure you send it with delivery confirmation. This sounds like the kind of person who will try to "collect" her 60% off everything, then complain to the HO about how you "misrepresented" things. With a confirmed email, you have proof of what you told her.

I'm a big believer in covering my own sizable tushie in these situations. ;)
Click to expand...

My impression of her is she's not doing this to be difficult on purpose. But I will be very clear when I go over host benefits at the show.

It just bugs me that even though I've spoken to her about the host benefits and the food issue she STILL sends out another e-mail and stresses about the FREE FOOD and NO OBLIGATION to buy. Now she's added that the demo will only be about 45 minutes (even though she's added those extra recipes)!!! :eek: I'm ready to scream, but so far I haven't responded to the e-mails because I'm afraid of what I'll write.
 
Ugh, Kristen - good luck with her!!!
 
me again, sweetie!!! I am a firm believer that we take Lamaze classes not in order to help with actual birthing, but to get through raising our kids without killing them............sounds like you need some good breathing techniques right now!!!!
Good luck with this one and be sure to let us know how it goes!
 
  • Thread starter
  • #15
chefmeg said:
me again, sweetie!!! I am a firm believer that we take Lamaze classes not in order to help with actual birthing, but to get through raising our kids without killing them............sounds like you need some good breathing techniques right now!!!!
Good luck with this one and be sure to let us know how it goes!
Click to expand...

Hee hee Hoo! Hee hee Hoo! Hee Hee Hoo! (how'm I doing?)
 
Chefstover2 said:
OK, I met this lady at an expo I had a booth at and invited her to a show that was nearby. She was possibly interested in making some $$, so a potential recruit. She came to the show and really enjoyed herself, ordered some items...all good.

She calls me earlier this month and decides she wants to have a show...great! We book her for September because she really wants the 12" skillet. I offer to mail invites for all my hosts. Her first e-mail to me with the addresses is.....4 people!:cry: Eventually she provides me with a significantly longer list and all is well...except she's asked me to mail a catalog along with every invitation so people can preview the catalog before the show. No, I explained, it really is pretty expensive for me to do that. They are provided with my website where they can browse the catalog online and if anyone REALLY needs one, I'll be happy to send one or two out. I bring them to the show.

Until I call to do some host coaching and she casually tells me she's told EVERYONE they don't have to buy anything because she's getting 60% off anyway, just come for the food! :eek: No, I carefully explain the host benefits and how they work (again). Not a big deal, I tell her, most people understand how the party plan works and I think it'll be fine, just don't mention it again or stress they don't have to buy.

We also had a conversation about the recipe...she wanted Creamy One Pot Pasta but also wants me to use the DCB and Avocado Peeler. OK, let's make some chicken breasts, chunk them and make them available to anyone who wants to add meat to their pasta. We'll also do the salsa/guacamole thing. Great.

So, today we're going over the grocery list (her show is this week) and she tells me to prepare for 15 but to expect 5 and she's still concerned about not wanting anyone to feel obligated to buy. :mad: I'd finally had enough and told her I'm not a caterer and I make my living by what I sell, not what I prepare. While I'm not a high-pressure sales person and don't want anyone to feel obligated, I don't want to tell people NOT to buy anything.

Also, she's forwarded an e-mail reminder she sent around to her friends and I quote: The entire "show" lasts 45 minutes, then it's time to enjoy the FREE MEAL. We've decided to add BAKED CHICKEN and GUACAMOLE w/chips to the VEGETARIAN CREAMY PASTA so there should be plenty of food and variety. I'll have lots of non alcoholic beverages in addition to some red wine. After everyone has had a chance to eat, there will be time to look thru/place orders from the catalogs that kristen will hand out to everyone who shows up. Again, there is NO obligation whatsoever to buy anything at the party. If sales do happen to go over $155, then I get a hefty %60discount, however, I've already decided to buy a couple of items [the guacamole peeler, and stoneware covered bake dish etc. regardless of attendance or sales.]

Wait a minute, BAKED CHICKEN?? :confused: I e-mailed her back and told her she's welcome to prepare a baked chicken dish on her own and I'll supplement with the pasta and guacamole.

Can I just say I'm so over this show? I hardly know even what to say to the woman! I really feel like I've done my best to be professional. Am I over-reacting here?

Sorry this is so long...thanks for letting me vent!
Click to expand...

Okay I'm slow- I was like, why is she calling her host Obese? I can read, really I can! Honest!!! :blushing:
 
chefmeg said:
Hi Kristin!!!

OBTUSE...???? Honey, you are sooooo nice!? She sounds dumb as a doorknob!
Click to expand...

Or like she has splinters in the windmill of her mind! :)
 
  • Thread starter
  • #18
Kitchen Diva said:
Or like she has splinters in the windmill of her mind! :)
Click to expand...

Or a few sandwiches shy of a picnic. :rolleyes:
 
If it were me (and glad it's not...I'm not a nice person sometimes), if she still was not listening when her show came 'round, I would say, "(Hostess) is going to become a consultant and tonight I have a surprise for her. This is going to be her first show and she'll be doing all the demonstrating! (Hostess), Take it away!"

Then I'd watch for the blank look of fear.

I bet she'd be a little more reserved about emphasising the free food and no obligation to order.

But then again, like I said, sometimes I can be a pretty mean person.:angel:
 
Jess, I have alomost wet myself laughing at this! One problem....she probably STILL wouldn't get it!
 
I can't help but wonder, if she is this bad...... what are her friends and family like?????

I still think your feeling ill, just kidding but haven't we all had the desire to cancel on a hostess? This would certainly be the one, and since she isn't expecting any orders......
 
She sounds like a "joy" to work with! Sorry you are having to deal with this! We come across the looniest people don't we??
 
Chefstover2 said:
Hee hee Hoo! Hee hee Hoo! Hee Hee Hoo! (how'm I doing?)
Click to expand...

GOOD! now puuuuush........oh, wait, that is for birthing! ;)
 
  • Thread starter
  • #24
Get this...She e-mailed me yesterday and called me this morning with "a couple more invitations to send" :eek: I e-mailed her yesterday saying there's NO MAIL on Monday!!!!! Call the people to invite them!!!

I'm dying over here...drowning in her minutae :cry:
 
Chefstover2 said:
Get this...She e-mailed me yesterday and called me this morning with "a couple more invitations to send" :eek: I e-mailed her yesterday saying there's NO MAIL on Monday!!!!! Call the people to invite them!!!

I'm dying over here...drowning in her minutae :cry:
Click to expand...

Kristen, you have so much more patience than I do. I hope you survive this show.
 
Is this woman playing jokes on you? Maybe she was someone you teased mercilessly back in the 3rd grade and you don't remember her, but SHE remembers YOU!!! ;) Of course I'm teasing but this is boardering on insanity...

I really feel for you, this one takes the cake- even from the hosts that I had who threatened to call the police on me if I called them for an Out of The Box call!!!
 
Last edited:
  • Thread starter
  • #27
I just keep thinking "all things work together for good"...so perhaps it'll all work out if I just keep my cool.

Thanks so much for letting me vent here so I don't cancel on her or say something I'll regret.
 
Chefstover2 said:
I just keep thinking "all things work together for good"...so perhaps it'll all work out if I just keep my cool.

Thanks so much for letting me vent here so I don't cancel on her or say something I'll regret.
Click to expand...


Aww, honey that's what Voodoo dolls are for!

oops, did I type that out loud :rolleyes::p
 
I can't wait to hear how this turns out...
 
I'll keep you in my prayers for this one! She sounds like a real pain! Wonder if she'll call you Thursday and cancel?
 
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