Women of Faith Conference - Very Long!

[crystalscookingnow]

Hi Ladies - This post will talk about God. Please don't be offended. If you choose to be offended, please make the choice not to post. Thanks.

I wanted to share something with you that happened to me over the weekend.

I went with my church to the Women of Faith Conference this past weekend in St. Louis. Not sure what Women of Faith Conferences are all about? Go here: http://www.womenoffaith.com/

I've been feeling kind of down lately & not really worth much of anything. I must admit that I thought about cancelling the trip all together. I decided to go since my ticket was paid for & they were counting on me for room buddies & stuff. I am trying to do alot better about my commitments.

So anyway, Friday afternoon I was picked up by some fellow church members & off we went. Friday night, the conference was really good. I enjoyed the music & the fellowship thoroughly. I wasn't WOWED like I thought I would be though. It wasn't until Saturday mid-morning when I KNEW that I was meant to be there & God was talking to me.

One of the speakers was Sandi Patty. She was on stage sharing the story of her childhood abuse & I was planted in my seat with tears rolling down my cheeks. Almost to the point of sobbing. I have been sexually abused as a child (multiple times) and her way of telling her story just spoke to me. I knew it in my heart. The choices that I made as a young girl still haunt me to this day. She talked about the layers that victims of abuse wrap themselves in to protect their feelings. I can see now the layers that I have put around myself to not let people in because I don't want to be hurt again. But, now I know that I have God's grace waiting for me if I will just make the choice to heal & let God take care of everything for me. I've felt so worthless here recently & realize now that it's because of all of the layers that I have wrapped around me hiding the true me.

So, as she was finishing her time as speaker, I thought to myself... You really have to meet this woman & thank her. Then I thought, yeah right. That's not gonna happen. Our group was leaving immediately after the conference to get back home. As the conference was winding down I was touched very emotionally & was in prayer about what I had just felt.

We left the conference & a ball game had just gotten out. We were in traffic for at least an hour trying to get back across the river (MO-IL) so that we could stop & eat. We finally made our way to the restaurant. As we're getting out of the van, another car pulls up & parks next to us. I didn't pay any attention to who it was, but it finally dawned on me. It was Sandi Patty! My heart sunk & God tapped me on the shoulder & said, here you go. Ask & it will be given to you. So, we go inside & she's in line to order her food right in front of us.

I gathered all of the courage that I could muster & tapped her on the shoulder. I told her, with a chuckle, that she was eating at Qdobo Express by God's Devine Appointment. I then shared with her what had happened at the conference & how much strength & courage she had given me. We had a bit more of a conversation & she then asked if she could hug me! Duh! I should have been asking her for the hug! She was so real & so caring & truly concerned just for me. I could feel it. I know that might sound goofy, but I really felt it.

After she ordered her food, they left & everyone was asking what that was all about. I just smiled. After we ate, we had a time to share what the best time of the conference was. I waited until it was quiet for a while & then shared what my best part of the conf. was. Everyone that I was with (about 20 women) were in tears as I poured my heart out about how God had touched me today. I know now that I have the strength to heal with the Grace of God.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my experiences with the Women of Faith conference and the relationship with God. I may be scarce from here as I go through all of the healing that needs to happen. I'm going to be doing minimal things with Pampered Chef for a while as I go through counselling. This is going to be opening up some hard stuff for my mom, too, because some of the information that I need is going to come from her. When I was abused the first time, I was younger than 3. I don't remember it outright, but I know that it's hidden somewhere beneath all of these layers. So, if you would please keep me in prayer & I'll keep ya'll updated as I go.

Hugs!
Crystal

 

[vwpamperedchef]

Aww...Crystal...thank you for sharing this story!

YOU have me in tears!! That is so touching and emotional! I truely believe if you ask you shall receive! Its amazing what God does!

I will keep you and your mom in my prayers so you may have constant guidance and strength thru this process which I am sure won't be easy for you. God will wrap you in His arms of love, and like the Footprints poem, He will carry you if you cannot walk.

Love & Hugs,
Vanessa

 

[crystalscookingnow]

Thank you, Vanessa. I really appreciate it.

 

[rebeccastt]

Crystal,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I think that is the first step towards God's healing in your life; realizing that YOU are worthy of God's love and grace as He teaches you to forgive yourself first, then the others who have hurt you. I'm so glad that you obeyed His call to go to the Women of Faith conference, and that you had the courage to approach Sandy. Part of her healing comes from sharing her story with others, so you blessed her by telling her how much she helped you.

I know that counseling with be a HUGE part of God's healing in your life. Will you be going to a Christian counselor? If not, I would highly recommend it.

I'll be praying for you to find God's peace, healing and forgiveness in your life!

Many blessings to you....

 

[Shawnna]

I will be remembering you in prayer also Chrystal. I personally do not think anything happens by accident. I try to look at all things spriritually...because the bible says that everything is spiritual. I firmly believe that God places us where he wants us at any given time...whether its by being stuck in traffic or going to a women's conference. He knows exactly what we are in need of and when and how we can help someone else. I am so sorry to hear about your abuse. But, I am glad that now you are going to move forward and get the help you need to deal with it. Just remember that God is always there. He knows when we are angry, hurt, happy, etc. But he likes for us to tell him how we feel too. So, don't be afraid to tell him...just like he is a visible person in the room with you. He is not afraid of our anger either. If it helps you to vent anger and frustration to him, let it loose. When you are finished he will wrap his loving arms around you and hold you tight...just like you would do your own child only better. I wish you the best on this journey you are about to begin. Keep the faith.

In prayer,
Shawnna

 

[pampchefrhondab]

Thank you for sharing your story. I haven't been abused in the past, but I have attended Women of Faith Conferences before and they are wonderful. God works in wonderful ways through all of the women.

I love Sandy Patty. Not only does she sing beautiful, she is a wonderful person. She lives in a town just south of me.

I will be praying for you. I know God will work miracles in your life. Take care and keep us posted.

 

[mrssyvo]

Crystal, Thank you for sharing your story. I have a similar background, and even after returning to the Lord in my 20's, I went through a10 years battle, not allowing God to heal me, and it was only after a Joyce Meyer Conference that God got my attention, and I finally allowed Him to bring the healing that I needed. My biggest problem was that I was angry with God, for allowing it to happen, and it was a long time before I started to work through that anger- I am 10 years on the other side of that healing, so know that it will get better, and that God will use your story in so many ways, you will not be able to believe it. I would not have changed a thing about my childhood, because God has used me in so many amazing ways. Trust the Lord, and trust the process. At times the healing process will be so painful that you will want to give up, but press through and allow Him to bring the healing HIS way!!!! He will show you amazing things and use you in MIGHTY Ways !!!!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Hi Ladies - This post will talk about God. Please don't be offended. If you choose to be offended, please make the choice not to post. Thanks.

I wanted to share something with you that happened to me over the weekend.

I went with my church to the Women of Faith Conference this past weekend in St. Louis. Not sure what Women of Faith Conferences are all about? Go here: http://www.womenoffaith.com/

I've been feeling kind of down lately & not really worth much of anything. I must admit that I thought about cancelling the trip all together. I decided to go since my ticket was paid for & they were counting on me for room buddies & stuff. I am trying to do alot better about my commitments.

So anyway, Friday afternoon I was picked up by some fellow church members & off we went. Friday night, the conference was really good. I enjoyed the music & the fellowship thoroughly. I wasn't WOWED like I thought I would be though. It wasn't until Saturday mid-morning when I KNEW that I was meant to be there & God was talking to me.

One of the speakers was Sandi Patty. She was on stage sharing the story of her childhood abuse & I was planted in my seat with tears rolling down my cheeks. Almost to the point of sobbing. I have been sexually abused as a child (multiple times) and her way of telling her story just spoke to me. I knew it in my heart. The choices that I made as a young girl still haunt me to this day. She talked about the layers that victims of abuse wrap themselves in to protect their feelings. I can see now the layers that I have put around myself to not let people in because I don't want to be hurt again. But, now I know that I have God's grace waiting for me if I will just make the choice to heal & let God take care of everything for me. I've felt so worthless here recently & realize now that it's because of all of the layers that I have wrapped around me hiding the true me.

So, as she was finishing her time as speaker, I thought to myself... You really have to meet this woman & thank her. Then I thought, yeah right. That's not gonna happen. Our group was leaving immediately after the conference to get back home. As the conference was winding down I was touched very emotionally & was in prayer about what I had just felt.

We left the conference & a ball game had just gotten out. We were in traffic for at least an hour trying to get back across the river (MO-IL) so that we could stop & eat. We finally made our way to the restaurant. As we're getting out of the van, another car pulls up & parks next to us. I didn't pay any attention to who it was, but it finally dawned on me. It was Sandi Patty! My heart sunk & God tapped me on the shoulder & said, here you go. Ask & it will be given to you. So, we go inside & she's in line to order her food right in front of us.

I gathered all of the courage that I could muster & tapped her on the shoulder. I told her, with a chuckle, that she was eating at Qdobo Express by God's Devine Appointment. I then shared with her what had happened at the conference & how much strength & courage she had given me. We had a bit more of a conversation & she then asked if she could hug me! Duh! I should have been asking her for the hug! She was so real & so caring & truly concerned just for me. I could feel it. I know that might sound goofy, but I really felt it.

After she ordered her food, they left & everyone was asking what that was all about. I just smiled. After we ate, we had a time to share what the best time of the conference was. I waited until it was quiet for a while & then shared what my best part of the conf. was. Everyone that I was with (about 20 women) were in tears as I poured my heart out about how God had touched me today. I know now that I have the strength to heal with the Grace of God.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my experiences with the Women of Faith conference and the relationship with God. I may be scarce from here as I go through all of the healing that needs to happen. I'm going to be doing minimal things with Pampered Chef for a while as I go through counselling. This is going to be opening up some hard stuff for my mom, too, because some of the information that I need is going to come from her. When I was abused the first time, I was younger than 3. I don't remember it outright, but I know that it's hidden somewhere beneath all of these layers. So, if you would please keep me in prayer & I'll keep ya'll updated as I go.

Hugs!
Crystal

Do you ever listen to Joyce Meyers? I really like her!

 

[quiverfull7]

Oh how precious!!!!! Thank you Jesus! Thank you Crystal for not listening to the enemy but instead GOING to the WOF Conference! And THANK YOU for sharing with us. Your testimony is a treasure and I will pray for you!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Crystal, please allow me the honor of being one of your prayer warriors... PM me and I'll get you my email address because I would like to stay in touch with you through your healing process!

 

[Shawnna]

So many times women will not open up and share our pain. We are considered the "weaker" sex...and generally we are because that is how God made us...but we have a tendancy to hold our pain in. So many times we go through stuff alone because we don't want others to see us as weak. And, lets face it, women are MEAN to each other. We hold grudges, stab each other in the back, etc. and seem to enjoy it. But, when one of our own is hurting we do what we do best...nurture each other. God made us nurturers. It is always so awesome when we open up and share our feelings and let others help us. Sometimes it is too easy to keep it inside. I am glad Chrystal has opened up and will now allow God to help her heal...and us to contribute in prayer. If you were here Chrystal, I would give you a big hug.

 

[pamperedlinda]

Wow! So glad you went to that conference! Isn't it amazing what we learn when we really listen? Sending prayers your way.

 

[Ann F]

Crystal, I'm sorry about the pain you've suffered all these years, but I'm ecstatic about your path to healing. God continue to bless you.

 

[janetupnorth]

Crystal - so glad to hear about conference! I'm so excited for you as you begin to heal. I know you've been hurt and searching for awhile. This was just wonderful!I hope you learn to have a wonderful, healthy relationship with your true Daddy! (Your Lord in Heaven). He is there waiting for you and will keep His arms wrapped tight around you and love you through everything. When you have his love, your need for earthly things will diminish.Our fathers play such an important role in girl's lives. Mine was less than perfect. Not sexually abusive at all, but physically and emotionally. I'm still learning since he died what my mom went through and never spoke about or stood up for. When I was an adult, I stood up to my dad and made sure he NEVER yelled in front of my children or my mother while in my house to visit. It was a battle that day, but made him realize some of what he did and start the healing. We didn't work it all out before he died, but I know he is a Christian and in heaven now and I was able to give him a wonderful, honoring memorial service since I had made peace with his mistakes. God has also blessed me with a wonderful husband that so far truly understands his important role in his daughter's life to bring her up with the proper love and affirmation she needs to be strong, confident and not searching for love in the wrong places.

 

[khergatt]

This blesses me so much! I am so happy and excited for you!

I went to a WOF conference with my mom about 4 years ago and we had a WONDERFUL time!

I will be praying for you as you continue your journey into healing.

God Bless You!!!!

 

[Grandmarita]

Your testimony really touched me. Thank you for sharing with us. You will be in my prayers too.

 

[pampchefsarah]

Crystal, as a fellow survivor, I was truly touched by your testimony. I belong to Ladies' Bible Study, and there are 7 of us in the group. At our very first meeting we told about ourselves, giving a little of our testimony. I was both saddened and encouraged to find that all but one of us had been abused in some way as children (saddened, of course, that this is such an epidemic, encouraged to know that God put me with a group of wonderful women who can truly understand what I've been through). I have just added you to my prayer list, but please, as Kasey said, keep me informed so I can also be a prayer warrior for you.

Sarah

 

[KellyTheChef]

Crystal...I am reading your post and just crying for you! Part of me is just saddened by what you have been through, but the other part of me is REJOICING WITH YOU that you felt God's personal touch this weekend. I am continually amazed at how He orchestrates people/events/etc. to come into our lives at just the RIGHT MOMENT. If you would have heard her speak years ago, you may not have been ready to hear what God wanted you to hear. Nope! He knew you would open your heart this weekend.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep us posted. I pray that God delivers to you a Christian counselor to help you work through what you have experienced as a child so that you can deal with it and move forward. God's strength is exactly the AMOUNT we need WHEN we need it...so feel empowered that He is going to be with you during each step of the way!

Know also that you have cheffer friends who will lift you up in prayer...even if you can't be on CS too much!

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[crystalscookingnow]

Thank you all so much. It really means a lot to have a wonderful group of women behind me in prayer.

Part of my hurting is that I have been feeling kind of sorry for myself lately that I didn't have a dad to call on Father's Day. My "real" dad is worthless (his brother is the one that first abused me), my adopted dad #1 is the 2nd who abused me, but is my brother's dad, my adopted dad #2 hit on me when I was staying with him after I moved out from my ex-husband... So, my line of father role models hasn't exactly been, well, good at all. But, the one constant in my life was my grandma & grandpa. I went to visit grandpa last night & told him how much he & grandma mean to me. I told him that they were basically mom & dad in my heart & that I always knew that.

I was having a conversation with the women that were my roomies on the way home. They were all sharing how they were so and so before they got married & that's how people knew them. I got to thinking & I really don't have a maiden name that I would fall back on & say I was Crystal _______ before I was married (I had 3 last names before I finished high school - talk about not knowing who you are!). I came to realization that if I ever had to change my name back to my maiden name, I would use my grandpa's name. Either that, or I would just be Crystal. That seemed too pop star for me!!! LOL

Anyway, thank you all & I will keep you posted. For those that wanted my e-mail, it's [email protected]. Thanks again, you wonderful women, you! I know that I will do fine with God's Grace, my husband's support and yours too!

 

[janetupnorth]

Awww Crystal - additional hugs to you! ...and keep remembering, you DID have a Dad to call on Father's Day. He is always there for you and will listen anytime! ...and remember, He can hug your soul, not just your body. "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God!" - I John 3:1

 

[StacieB]

What a blessing the WOF was for you!! I pray that you will find the guidance you need to make it through these times!!

 

[sklay723]

God knows the right place and the right time for us to be on the right road. I have been attending WOF conferences for the last five or six years, and I am so amazed each time by the messages they bring...I know the message is different for each woman who hears it, and I am so grateful that you were there to hear Sandi's message of hope and healing. She is an AWESOME speaker and really understands that there are others who can certainly benefit from her sharing that message.

May God bless you and keep you as you travel your new road...please let us know how you are doing, and know that we will continue to keep you and your mother in our prayers.

 

[raebates]

How wonderful it is of God to arrange that wonderful experience for you.

Women of Faith conferences can be amazing experiences. Thanks for sharing yours.