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Personal Why are teens so difficult?

Careyann

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Jan 27, 2010
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I really just need to vent.:mad: I have a 14 yr old son. He is doing terrible in school, F's and says he is trying his hardest. From talking to other parents they had similiar issues with their kids in this same school, they expect alot from them. That really isn't what I want to vent about but it's some back ground of my frustration. I am supposed to work at 7:30, our bus picks up the kids at 7:35. Usually I leave before they go but my son sometimes dinks around so much that he misses the bus. I didn't trust him this morning so I hung around. Last minute he needs some papers for school, finds them just as the bus is sitting in front of our house. I go out and motion for the guy to wait, he stands by my vehicle and says I should just give him a ride, repeats this over and over, meanwhile I'm getting upset because it's 7:35 and I'm already late. I give up and take him to school. I almost slide into the bus and another car leaving my development because we had rain/snow last night. I am so mad at this point and our school is a nightmare, it takes 20 minutes to get into the parking lot to drop him off. (the grade school and middle school are attached-double the nightmare!). I said some things that I do regret saying, but I don't regret being mad because I think I was justified.
He really ruined my day and I feel like I must be the worst parent in the world that I can have a child who has no regard for another person's feelings. I don't know if I want to even talk to that kid tonight, and I feel like taking away everything he likes to punish him for it! But I'm a terrible pushover, I hate taking things away from my kids, feel bad when I do it. I know that's my problem. I'm lucky that work is flexible for me otherwise I could lose my job, why can't they understand that life doesn't revolve around them?!
I know this is long and I'm sorry for that, I just feel so sad and angry by the whole thing and wish I knew what to do to have a kid that seemed like he cared about....anything!:confused:
Thanks for listening.
 

PartiesbyJamie

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Jan 14, 2008
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Do you feel any better now that you let it out?? I know it helps me sometimes. My daughter is nearly 13 and can be very trying!! All you can do is stick with what you know is right for you and your kids; they won't like it all the time, but eventually, they will appreciate it (or so I've been told by people that have been there!). Hang in there!! you're not alone.
 

Grandmarita

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Nov 9, 2005
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Your frustration just propelled me back 25 and 35 years. Must be that 14 yr. old boys, all put us to the test. My own son did that, and my step-son did that. My son was only one block from his high school, and had "the record" for tardiness. The vice principal called me in for a conference. All I can say is that "this too shall pass". Both have turned out to be fine men, with successful lives. They outgrow it, but we get gray waiting for them too. You are in my prayers.
 

Careyann

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Jan 27, 2010
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Not really, I know someday it will be better. My younger sister - middle child - was my parents worst nightmare and now she's a pretty great person and we are best friends. I just don't know if I am going to make it through these years with my sanity in tact!
 

DEBBI

Member
May 25, 2007
195
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Take all his things away and don't accept excuses for his bad grades at 14 it's time for him to understand consequences...you're not a bad parent... He's using you..sometimes tough love is the best.
I'm sorry if i sound harish.
 

colegrovet

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Jun 11, 2008
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Take all his things away and don't accept excuses for his bad grades at 14 it's time for him to understand consequences...you're not a bad parent... He's using you..sometimes tough love is the best.
I'm sorry if i sound harish.

I have to agree.. had to do the same to my daughter. My son was the good one..
besides.... you da mom.. and da mom rules...
 

pamperedpals

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Mar 11, 2007
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Take all his things away and don't accept excuses for his bad grades at 14 it's time for him to understand consequences...you're not a bad parent... He's using you..sometimes tough love is the best.
I'm sorry if i sound harish.

I agree also. That is the line we take with our 3 boys (10, 6 and 4). If the older two don't perform in school, they don't get to enjoy the rewards (Xbox in their rooms, watching tv with the family, etc). It work's because they don't want to loose their fun.

I am a push over also, however, if I stay firm with what I say, they will respect me more and actually listen when I talk to them. :D

Hang in there!
 

Careyann

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Jan 27, 2010
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I agree also. That is the line we take with our 3 boys (10, 6 and 4). If the older two don't perform in school, they don't get to enjoy the rewards (Xbox in their rooms, watching tv with the family, etc). It work's because they don't want to loose their fun.

I am a push over also, however, if I stay firm with what I say, they will respect me more and actually listen when I talk to them. :D

Hang in there!

I know you guys are right. I am going to ground him when I get home tonight, I'll take the Xbox out of his room and the cell phone and Ipod. But if I made him watch tv with the family that would probably be punishment for him!
It still makes me sad, where is my precious little red head that was so sweet when he was little? I hate that they grow up! My daughter is 11 and I just hope she doesn't test me like this one is!
 

esavvymom

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Sep 8, 2008
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She might not- if she sees the consequences set down for her brother! :)
Hang in there. One day, he'll grow up, mature, and be your friend as a young man most likely.
 

D Levad

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Nov 22, 2008
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  • #10
I have two boys, one is 16 and the other is 14. My 16 year old does great in school and can be trusted with just about anything.

My 14 year old (red head) thinks the world revolves around him, owes him , etc. He is always late getting to class. Gettings D's mostly. We live a block from school so he thinks he can wait until the last minute to get up and leave. When he does get to school on time, he is still late getting to his classes. He has managed to get himself into trouble with the law a few times already. His probation officer keeps assuring me that he will grow into a responsible man. He says that he seen much worse. There are days I wonder if I will make it through these teen age years myself. I feel your pain.

Not to mention what it feels like to see your sons name in the paper and wonder what people think about you as a parent. I guess you keep on loving them even though you hate what they are doing.. I have a very good beautician that keeps the gray away.. Good luck.

P.s. We have tried grounding, taking away phones , computers, counseling, you name it..
 

ShelbyMichalek

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Dec 20, 2009
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  • #11
Praying for the original poster, but I must hijack for just a moment.
D Levad...I'm really praying for you.
My older brother was/is just like your 14 year old. He's now 20(?) and we don't speak to him. Not because we don't wish to have a relationship with him, but he feels like the world has somehow done him wrong (??) and doesn't communicate with my parents or siblings unless he wants money, which my parents will not give to him because he's never tried to live like a normal, good human being.
My heart goes out to you and your family, and everyone who is having trouble with your teens! My only child is only 7 months old, so I cannot say I know how to be a parent to a teen, but I've seen 4 of my brothers being raised (2 older and 2 younger than me) and I've seen how crazy and unbearable the job can be!!

I have two boys, one is 16 and the other is 14. My 16 year old does great in school and can be trusted with just about anything.

My 14 year old (red head) thinks the world revolves around him, owes him , etc. He is always late getting to class. Gettings D's mostly. We live a block from school so he thinks he can wait until the last minute to get up and leave. When he does get to school on time, he is still late getting to his classes. He has managed to get himself into trouble with the law a few times already. His probation officer keeps assuring me that he will grow into a responsible man. He says that he seen much worse. There are days I wonder if I will make it through these teen age years myself. I feel your pain.

Not to mention what it feels like to see your sons name in the paper and wonder what people think about you as a parent. I guess you keep on loving them even though you hate what they are doing.. I have a very good beautician that keeps the gray away.. Good luck.

P.s. We have tried grounding, taking away phones , computers, counseling, you name it..
 
Mar 4, 2009
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  • #12
Having 4 teens myself. I TOTALLY understand. they are 19,16,15-girls,13 boy! While I am the furthest thing from a perfect parent, I have learned quite alot over the years. Sometimes I can scream and say things I regret. But I usually find that talking to them, not at them helps. I hate taking things away too, it is just a punishment to me. But I try to stick to it. Even though they wear me down to the point I want to drive off a cliff.:eek: At the end of the day, I would sit down with him, no distractions, tell him how you feel, how the morning becomes a domino effect to the rest of your day. The stories I hear about bus rides, maybe he is having a problem. One big thing I try to always keep in mind, is to have fun and enjoy them when things are good. I find that they don't always associate me with being a nag.

As for the grades. I understand kids who truely struggle vs say they are trying-but aren't. I have both. I would have an apt. with guidance and teachers and HIM. Sometimes you really get a better prespective of his workload and teachers. It also makes him own responsibility for his grades. His teachers will be quite blunt if he is doing his work and what he needs to do. It is decided exactly what he needs to do, this way if he does not follow through, he knows the consequences ahead of time This cuts down on the future fighting.
Please I hope I don't sound like a nagging mom. I could write a book about everything I have been through. I don't know if it would make you cry or pee your pants. I have kept quite a list (literally a real list) of everything my kids have said to make me mad. Looking back at some, I have to laugh. Like I tell them- Just wait, what comes around goes around.:)
 

pampered1224

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Apr 13, 2004
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  • #13
Here's the deal. I was HORRIBLE when I hit 11. I went around and around with my folks all the time. I learned something years later that really explained what it was. I lived in a home where mom worked 2nd shift, dad worked two jobs. Neither got home before 11 p.m. Grandma took care of us a lot. She never scolded or disciplined me. When I turned 13, mom and dad decided it was time for me to become responsible for some one else. So Grandma stopped staying with us. It was my job to make dinner and wash up and make sure homework and baths were done for my younger siblings. Now it took about another year but I straightened out. Mostly because I had a purpose. I had a responsibility. And I got the belt if I didn't behave! Granted you can't do that now but discipline of some sort works. You have to stick to your guns. Any idol threats will only make him worse because he will know yo are just kidding! Give him something other than homework to be responsible for. And yes, take away his stuff. Tell him he can earn it back by a bidding by certain rules. WRITE THESE DOWN AND YOU BOTH NEED TO SIGN IT LIKE A REAL CONTRACT! Make sure he knows you mean business! And take him to Sylvan or something like that to have him evaluated. He may have a learning disability that no one has caught. I had an awful time in school. I was 14 just going into high school, when a friend of my folk's recommended having me do some testing. It tuned out, no matter what I read, I was not comprehending it. After several months of learning a new way to study, I started blowing my grades out of the water. I aced about 98% of the tests I took. I graduated with a 3.92 average out of 4! (I did not graduate first in my class because I still hated doing written homework but hey, I graduated!) Hope that gives you a few ideas.
 

raebates

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Dec 6, 2005
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  • #14
The Furry Guy says that 14-year-old boys are insane. Testosterone floods their brains and makes them incapable of rational thought for several years. Taking a firm hand now will help tremendously down the road.

By the way, our insane 14-year-old who flunked Algebra and barely passed several other classes pulled out of his insanity by the time he was a senior. When he went to Dallas for additional schooling he got incredible grades. Ten years later he's a responsible, wonderful young man. There is hope.
 

ChefMary412

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Mar 28, 2008
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  • #15
it is very fitting that these posts are here today. My step-son just turned 15 and fits along with this very well. He is a great kid, but not applying himself and not being who we thought he was.... it is good to know that you/we are not alone and they will grow out of it!
 

cathyskitchen

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Jul 1, 2007
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  • #16
My boys are 10 and 8 and I'm dreading the teen years. I want to skip them entirely and go straight to the college years, where I pack them up and send them off! LOL! ;) I just remember what a nightmare I was to my parents, and I get a huge knot in my stomach!! Hang in there - teens are teens, I think it's a right of passage as parents to go through it, so eventually we'll get well-adjusted, nice adults who marry someone nice and give us beautiful grandchildren!! :) (at least I hope so!!)
 

JAE

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Jun 3, 2007
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  • #17
I really just need to vent.:mad: I have a 14 yr old son. He is doing terrible in school, F's and says he is trying his hardest. From talking to other parents they had similiar issues with their kids in this same school, they expect alot from them. That really isn't what I want to vent about but it's some back ground of my frustration. I am supposed to work at 7:30, our bus picks up the kids at 7:35. Usually I leave before they go but my son sometimes dinks around so much that he misses the bus. I didn't trust him this morning so I hung around. Last minute he needs some papers for school, finds them just as the bus is sitting in front of our house. I go out and motion for the guy to wait, he stands by my vehicle and says I should just give him a ride, repeats this over and over, meanwhile I'm getting upset because it's 7:35 and I'm already late. I give up and take him to school. I almost slide into the bus and another car leaving my development because we had rain/snow last night. I am so mad at this point and our school is a nightmare, it takes 20 minutes to get into the parking lot to drop him off. (the grade school and middle school are attached-double the nightmare!). I said some things that I do regret saying, but I don't regret being mad because I think I was justified.
He really ruined my day and I feel like I must be the worst parent in the world that I can have a child who has no regard for another person's feelings. I don't know if I want to even talk to that kid tonight, and I feel like taking away everything he likes to punish him for it! But I'm a terrible pushover, I hate taking things away from my kids, feel bad when I do it. I know that's my problem. I'm lucky that work is flexible for me otherwise I could lose my job, why can't they understand that life doesn't revolve around them?!
I know this is long and I'm sorry for that, I just feel so sad and angry by the whole thing and wish I knew what to do to have a kid that seemed like he cared about....anything!:confused:
Thanks for listening.

It sort of sounds like a story I could tell. Just this morning I had to wait on 14 year old ds to leave for school. He took too long a shower (didn't set his Pampered Chef timer), so he had to take a shower tonight. He doesn't like that. He likes morning showers. I told him he still has to get up early so he has enough time to get to the car on time. If it happens again in the morning, he has to get up 10 minutes earlier on Friday and again shower the night before. Yesterday, he earned a before school detention for "forgetting" to go to the learning center during lunch break. Because we have to leave 15 minutes earlier for school (thank you teachers for making things so convenient for the parents), he has to clean the basement after school on Friday or no socializing Friday night. If he doesn't do it right the first time he will then have to fix it and sweep out the garage before social time. He also has to vacuum his younger brother's room because younger brother has to leave early for school with 14 year old. I'm actually thoroughly enjoying this punishment because the basement will get cleaned and ds's room will be vacuumed. And, I doled out the punishment w/o yelling or having a rise in blood pressure. We've already taken so much away from him, there's nothing left.

Unfortunately, I don't always act so calmly. It doesn't seem to be sinking in, the things I'm trying to teach him. But, I do believe someday he will be a responsible adult. He's a good kid, but he doesn't seem to understand that my world doesn't revolve around him.
 

smspamperedchef

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Jan 24, 2007
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  • #18
I really just need to vent.:mad: I have a 14 yr old son. He is doing terrible in school, F's and says he is trying his hardest. From talking to other parents they had similiar issues with their kids in this same school, they expect alot from them. That really isn't what I want to vent about but it's some back ground of my frustration. I am supposed to work at 7:30, our bus picks up the kids at 7:35. Usually I leave before they go but my son sometimes dinks around so much that he misses the bus. I didn't trust him this morning so I hung around. Last minute he needs some papers for school, finds them just as the bus is sitting in front of our house. I go out and motion for the guy to wait, he stands by my vehicle and says I should just give him a ride, repeats this over and over, meanwhile I'm getting upset because it's 7:35 and I'm already late. I give up and take him to school. I almost slide into the bus and another car leaving my development because we had rain/snow last night. I am so mad at this point and our school is a nightmare, it takes 20 minutes to get into the parking lot to drop him off. (the grade school and middle school are attached-double the nightmare!). I said some things that I do regret saying, but I don't regret being mad because I think I was justified.
He really ruined my day and I feel like I must be the worst parent in the world that I can have a child who has no regard for another person's feelings. I don't know if I want to even talk to that kid tonight, and I feel like taking away everything he likes to punish him for it! But I'm a terrible pushover, I hate taking things away from my kids, feel bad when I do it. I know that's my problem. I'm lucky that work is flexible for me otherwise I could lose my job, why can't they understand that life doesn't revolve around them?!
I know this is long and I'm sorry for that, I just feel so sad and angry by the whole thing and wish I knew what to do to have a kid that seemed like he cared about....anything!:confused:
Thanks for listening.

i;m sorry, but are you sure you are talking about YOUR teenager? Sounds JUST like mine sometimes! GRRR! Hope you let out some much needed steam and you were able to calm a bit before seeing your son. All I can say is teenagers!!! GRRRRRRR!
 

patty42240

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May 17, 2009
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  • #19
Careyann,

Please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeese read this...You have to stop being such a pushover and beating yourself up and questioning whether you are a good or bad parent. You say you feel like the worst parent in the world when you take things away, etc. but do you realize that some of the worst parents tend to be pushovers and rarely if ever take things away from their kids? Your son is using you and you are letting him. It does not have to be such a struggle...he is challenging your authority...it is a normal teenage thing but what is NOT normal is the way you are handling things.

I honestly speak from experience. I have been a single mom of 2 kids for 15 years. My daughter...good as gold; son on the other hand has been very difficult to deal with. Just a brief run down but I was the same way you are. I was always afraid I would hurt my son's feelings or look like a bad mom because I did not treat him like he was a little prince. Well, this is where it got me...in the past 3 years my son has been in a behavior treatment center 10 times (no lie), juvenile detention 3 times, drug program for being caught growing 19 (small) pot plants in his room, and he has had to do 50 hours of community service that he has NOT completed in almost 5 months. Oh yeah, not to mention he quit school in December promised to go to GED classes and has quit going to those. He cannot find a job and my son will be 18 in July and even though I love him so much and my heart breaks when he gets in trouble or screams at me or pushes me around because he is so angry...I have come to realize it is MY FAULT for the majority of his actions because I would try to smooth everything over and try to make him happy. It does NOT help anything. I have learned to stand firm, say NO Loudly and walk away.

I wish you the best. I know you came on here to vent but I am going to pray that you take the advice that we have so lovingly given you. Pull the weeds from your garden (family environment) now before they overtake and choke out the most important part of the garden...YOUR CHILDREN!
 

Sheila

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Mar 26, 2008
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  • #20
My sister's two are now 21 & 24. Here's her advice: Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jello to a tree! ;)

Seriously though ... she called me when her youngest was 16 and asked for my advice. Her son was coming home with C's, which was out of the ordinary. Upon further investigation, she found out that he was a straight A student, like he had always been, but had several zeros for failing to do his homework which brought down his grade. Not granted, if he was a C student, she would have been fine with it ... but having straight A's in the teacher's book intermingled with zeros was NOT okay. She had tried EVERYTHING that she could think of as punishment & nothing was working. Knowing that I was a hard-headed child, she wanted my advice for what I thought might work. I told her to find his money. Every child, regardless of their age, has something that they value the most. And that "money" constantly changes as they grow older. It might be a favorite stuffed animal when they are 4, video games when they are 8, makeup for a 14 year old girl, and the keys to the car, etc. So I asked her, what's his money? She didn't know. I knew! He had JUST gotten his driver's license ... his driving privileges! I told her to set a rule that he would loose his driving privileges for ____ days/weeks for coming home with a B resulting from zeros in the grade book and to multiply it by 2 for a C that was the result of zeros in the grade book. If he came home with 1 B & 2 C's then it would equal 5X the B punishment. They loved the idea, but their B punishment was shorter than I recommended. It did the trick! After one time of loosing his car keys he never did it again! He graduated with honors.

The key is to stick to the punishment. You can't cave. Once you give in, it's not a matter of if you'll give in, but a matter of when. Consequences are VERY important!!! I'm a retired Police Dispatcher and am very accustomed to dealing with the teens & adults who never learned consequences as a child. They have surpassed testing their parents and are now testing society.

And you don't have to beat them into submission. You just have to find what they value most and stick to your guns. Once they realize that you mean business and that you are not going to give in no matter how long they persist, they will grow tired of the game & test you less & less. It doesn't matter what age they are. I spanked my best friends daughter twice when she was 5 (with her mother's permission of course). She figured out really quick that I meant business and she quit testing me. When she was 16, she stood in front of me & told my 18 year old cousin that even though she was 16, my size & could probably hold her own, she was still scared of me and would not be testing the theory. LOL Even at 16, she still had respect for me for not letting her run wild as a child. Every child is looking for guidance. They won't admit that, but they are.

I know it sounds weird, but it's soooo true ... Cesar Millan (The Dog Whisperer) uses three techniques to keep a pack of dogs under control: Attention, Exercise & Discipline. The same three techniques work on children! And it takes all three to have a "well rounded pack"! People are amazed at how I can reign in children and make them behave. But I sit in the floor & play vs. using the TV for entertainment. I make sure that they get plenty of exercise (wear them out!) and I don't let them run over me. I set boundaries that they are required to follow. It makes life soooo much easier! I have 7 nephews all together, 3 of them lived with me for 18 months. So even though my two are only 1 year old & 2 year old, they are not my "first big job", I've had prior experience at being a parent.

I agree with a previous suggestion to have your son evaluated for a possible learning deficiency. If he missed the basics in elementary school or if he's dyslexic, getting intervention NOW can make a world of difference to him! And I agree that you should talk to him & see if there's something going on when he's on the bus that makes him not want to ride on there. Is there a bully on the bus? Is the driver just downright mean? If your son is easily intimidated by others, that's definitely a possibility of why he misses the bus so often. ;)

(((hugs)))!!!
 

Careyann

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Jan 27, 2010
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  • #21
Thanks for all the advice. I don't think he has a learning disability because he was an A student in grade school. We moved him to a different school at the beginning of 5th grade and he struggled at the new school. You would think 2 schools in the same school district would be on the same page but they were not. He had never done states & capitals in his previous school and the new one tested on it extensively in 5th grade. It was a hard year for him. The middle school he attends is notoriously difficult, they have extremely high standards. I really thought he was pulling my leg when he said he was trying but in my Pampered Chef business I have met other parents with kids in the school and they have similar stories and many said after struggling in that school, there kids went on to be A-B students in the high school. So I really think there is hope for him because I know he can do it. Sick days are his downfall and not being organized, missing assignments, etc. I pray next year he goes back to being a good student again, but he needs to get those grades up in 8th grade to get there!
It really concerns me for my daughter because she will be a 6th grader in that school next year and I almost am considering transferring her to another school because I don't want the same thing to happen to her there. Right now she does good in school but is discouraged more easily when she doesn't know something. Kind of scary!
But I did talk to him last night, grounded him. The comments here about the world revolving around them are so true. I apologized to him first for calling him names because I know that was wrong but I told him I do not apologize for being mad because what he did was wrong and completely self centered. He had no regard for me or my feelings. He was like I just wanted a ride to school, not the point. Then he apologized thinking that would get him out of the grounding, nope. There was no real feeling behind it and I called him on that. I don't know if I got through to him but the xbox is hidden, got him to surrender the cell phone last night. So here's hoping that he get's it eventually. I know I have to stand my ground on it because he does walk all over me and my husband.
One glimmer of hope, after being lazy all year and not doing anything, he says he is going out for track in a week, hopefully the exercise will do him good!
 

pamperedpals

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Mar 11, 2007
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  • #22
My middle DS (6) came home from school yesterday (Kindergarten) and had horrible reports. He went to the principal's office once and then back to the office during recess time. :mad: My DH had an extensive talk with his teacher last Friday and they had a game plan and it is not working. However, DH and I took part of the blame for his behavior as he didn't get enough sleep the night before. His grandmother took him to WWE Smackdown for his birthday and they didn't get home until 12:30 am. However, that is not an excuse to fight with other children and run around the classroom like a fool.

So DS had to bring his control's for his X-Box to us, has lost the chance to play T-Ball (unless he has better reports the rest of this week and next) and was sent to bed an hour early. His bedtime was moved from 8:00 pm to 7:30 pm and on the night before spelling tests (Thursday's) his bedtime is 7:00 pm. He is not happy at all! :cry: However, we explained to him that we pay for him to go to school and so does every other classmate's parent's. It is not fair to his classmates to be interrupted while trying to learn. If he keeps it up, we will pull him from full day Kindergarten and put him in half day and send him back to daycare, which means no Boys and Girls Club (which he absolutely loves!:love:)

We hope this will show him we mean business. We have tried everything else and are running out of options. DS did tell him, he would remove EVERYTHING from his room, except his bed and dresser if his attitude didn't change. We also told him that his behavior makes us look like bad parent's and I told him that is makes me sad when he acts like this.

We will see what the rest of the week brings.
 

baychef

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Mar 27, 2005
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  • #23
To all parents of children that are teenagers...the stories I am reading here can only be comforting in the fact that...YOUR CHILD IS NORMAL!!!

My office is based in a building with grades 6, 7 & 8th graders. 900 of them!!!They are hormones on sneakers. They have no concept of their consequences until you repeatedly (I mean for years) show then that if they do "A" then "B" gets taken away. Over and over again.

The hardest thing to do with them is stay calm and enforce the boundaries you set for them With that said...choose your battles. Purple hair is just that, purple hair. Stealing is just that, stealing...which one sets a life pattern that is destructive?

And Careyann...I want to send you and all others {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Because your little child that you adored is growing up and changing. Continue to do fun things with them that they like because they WILL remember these things even though they act ungrateful, irresponsible and are like the River Dancers in your last nerve. You love the child, just not their actions and make sure they know that. Rarely do we tell our parents that they are good parents (not all are but most are) and they are doing a great job.

Was I perfect parent? Hell no...there is no such thing. And anyone who makes you feel that they are...has something to hide!

Kids want boundaries even though they will complain and protest. If they had none, they would act out until they receive the attention that they crave.

They do not want you to hug them in front of others, but there will be a time they may be open to a hug. Tell them you love them. The child they were is trying to be independent and that is normal. They are trying to "find out who they are" and every day it changes.

One on one these kids are great...usually with other people, though! If people tell you this...they will be ok even though they make you feel like you are like the dirt on a shoe. Being disrespectful is going to happen, but set consequences...they are going to make you feel as if you are the dumbest people on earth. (you will start to get smarter when they are in their 20's)They will want to walk at least 20 feet or more away from you while walking in the mall...this is normal and they need that space.

Ok...my son? He will be 20 in May...he has so much growing up to do...still. Here in New York, our kids graduate at the end of the 3rd week in June. My son quit school in mid April previous to graduating!!!:eek::grumpy::mad: My mistake was that he lives with Dad and Dad is a push over. My son was actually dropped from school due to poor attendance in certain classes. He refused to go back. He did pass his GED the next fall the first time. He wanted to work...school is stupid, etc. Now, what I do brag about is that he has never been in trouble. Does not do drugs and has a kind heart. I do not hear anything but...he is such a nice young man. Is he an angel?:angel: NO! But I have to accept him and love him for who he is and his kind heart. I miss my baby too, but he is kept deep in my heart.
 

Careyann

Member
Gold Member
Jan 27, 2010
184
0
  • Thread starter
  • #24
Thanks Ann! That made me tear up a little bit, beautifully said!
I have to share something funny, last night my kids were fighting like cats and dogs on a trip into town to do some errands, we went to dinner, son was obnoxious, then on the way home my two were laughing with each other and had me laughing, then they got home and actually played together until bed. Maybe grounding will be a good thing! Though, I am having to educate him on what "grounding" means, this morning I found the PS2 in his room, I guess I just said Xbox, my bad!! Should have been more specific!
 

raebates

Legend Member
Staff member
Dec 6, 2005
18,357
437
  • #25
Teens are amazing masters of semantics. "But, Mom, you said I couldn't drive to the concert in Chicago. You didn't say I couldn't ride with Bob."
 

baychef

Senior Member
Silver Member
Mar 27, 2005
2,882
43
  • #26
Thanks Ann! That made me tear up a little bit, beautifully said!
I have to share something funny, last night my kids were fighting like cats and dogs on a trip into town to do some errands, we went to dinner, son was obnoxious, then on the way home my two were laughing with each other and had me laughing, then they got home and actually played together until bed. Maybe grounding will be a good thing! Though, I am having to educate him on what "grounding" means, this morning I found the PS2 in his room, I guess I just said Xbox, my bad!! Should have been more specific!

Aww, you are very welcome. I will never forget how his foot covered just the inner palm of my hand and how I could fit his little head under my chin to snuggle even closer. I shared this with him...and when he was about the age where you want to ship them off to parts unknown...he came up to me, hugged me and said...hey Mom, I am finally tall enough where I can fit you under my chin!
Love You Forever

by Robert Munsch

A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "this kid is driving me CRAZY!"

But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The little boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was nine years old. And he never wanted to come in for dinner, he never wanted to take a bath, and when grandma visited he always said bad words. Sometimes his mother wanted to sell him to the zoo!

But at night time, when he was asleep, the mother quietly opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep, she picked up that nine-year-old boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He had strange friends and he wore strange clothes and he listened to strange music. Sometimes the mother felt like she was in a zoo!

But at night time, when that teenager was asleep, the mother opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep she picked up that great big boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

Well, that mother, she got older. She got older and older and older. One day she called up her son and said, "You'd better come see me because I'm very old and sick." So her son came to see her. When he came in the door she tried to sing the song. She sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always...

But she couldn't finish because she was too old and sick. The son went to his mother. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.

When the son came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her he sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

(This was taken from book by Robert Munsch. I recommend his books. See: The Official Robert Munsch Website )
 

Careyann

Member
Gold Member
Jan 27, 2010
184
0
  • Thread starter
  • #27
Now you really made me cry! :cry:

I should buy that book and wrap it and put it on his bed, maybe he would appreciate the love between mom & their kids and know that I love him even when he drives me up the wall!
 

pamperedpals

Senior Member
Gold Member
Mar 11, 2007
2,099
1
  • #28
Aww, you are very welcome. I will never forget how his foot covered just the inner palm of my hand and how I could fit his little head under my chin to snuggle even closer. I shared this with him...and when he was about the age where you want to ship them off to parts unknown...he came up to me, hugged me and said...hey Mom, I am finally tall enough where I can fit you under my chin!
Love You Forever

by Robert Munsch

A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "this kid is driving me CRAZY!"

But at night time, when that two-year-old was quiet, she opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor, looked up over the side of his bed; and if he was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The little boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was nine years old. And he never wanted to come in for dinner, he never wanted to take a bath, and when grandma visited he always said bad words. Sometimes his mother wanted to sell him to the zoo!

But at night time, when he was asleep, the mother quietly opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep, she picked up that nine-year-old boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

The boy grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a teenager. He had strange friends and he wore strange clothes and he listened to strange music. Sometimes the mother felt like she was in a zoo!

But at night time, when that teenager was asleep, the mother opened the door to his room, crawled across the floor and looked up over the side of the bed. If he was really asleep she picked up that great big boy and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. While she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

Well, that mother, she got older. She got older and older and older. One day she called up her son and said, "You'd better come see me because I'm very old and sick." So her son came to see her. When he came in the door she tried to sing the song. She sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always...

But she couldn't finish because she was too old and sick. The son went to his mother. He picked her up and rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And he sang this song:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my Mommy you'll be.

When the son came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her he sang:

I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.

(This was taken from book by Robert Munsch. I recommend his books. See: The Official Robert Munsch Website )

Now you really made me cry! :cry:

I should buy that book and wrap it and put it on his bed, maybe he would appreciate the love between mom & their kids and know that I love him even when he drives me up the wall!

I have this book and have read to all of my boys'. The first time I heard it, I bawled like a baby!:cry:
 

baychef

Senior Member
Silver Member
Mar 27, 2005
2,882
43
  • #29
I have this book and have read to all of my boys'. The first time I heard it, I bawled like a baby!:cry:

Caryann...re-reading this book is what got me through those tougher years. Deep down, he knows this but he does not realize that he is still a child and his vision does not extend much further than the next minute!! Buy it for you too. The illustrations will set you into sobs:cry:because it touchs the heart.

So glad my son was little when I read this...he didn't catch my voice cracking as I tried to keep it together to get through the book. And I too bawled well beyond the first time I read it to him! I still tear up when I read it!!!!
 

baychef

Senior Member
Silver Member
Mar 27, 2005
2,882
43
  • #30
Teens are amazing masters of semantics. "But, Mom, you said I couldn't drive to the concert in Chicago. You didn't say I couldn't ride with Bob."

Oh didn't you love this Rae? The can talk semantics but become extremely deaf when things come out of the parents' mouths!!
 
Mar 12, 2010
9
0
  • #31
As I 20 year-old, I speak from experience:

Being a teenager is a very confusing time, due to our brains being ripped apart to process information 2x faster. Just stick with it and he'll turn out well--I did!
 

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