My MIL has asked us to watch her son (my BIL-now 16 yo) for three days this week while she goes out of town to celebrate her birthday. Background: She is married but her husband is in Iraq as a civilian contract worker and has been there for 5-6 years now. Since she moved back to Alaska 4 years ago, I basically viewed her as a single parent and did whatever I could to help her-I was a single parent for nine years. Including picking my BIL up from school for weekly Speech & PT appts. (he has Down's), sharing my pantry items, watching BIL while she is 'stuck' in town etc... In the last year, I have cut back what I have been willing to do. She is constantely asking, never planning (ie schedules her hair appts during the weekly Speech & PT appts.). They make 4x what we do yet seem to be out of $ and ask us for gas & grocery $. Back to my question. This week she would like to spend her Bday out of town doing 'adult' things (not sure what that is) because she 'never' gets to do anything for herself. I asked her for two things. First, I would like the bus to stop at my house. Second, the respite worker needs to come over in the morning to help him get ready. Her response? The bus won't change the stop location (I plan to check on this) so he does not need to go to school which also settles the need to have someone come over in the morning to help him get ready. I explained to her that Kids go to school unless they are sick and he would be bored at my house all day because I don't let anyone sit & play games or watch tv all day. My DH cannot leave his job during the day to help shuttle kids or get them ready. Right now she is on the waiting list for another respite worker (whole other story). My FIL called on Saturday to 'remind' me of all the times they have helped us out. I explained to him that I was grateful for the help (which really was not asked for or needed). About two minutes into the conversation I realized he was trying to guilt trip me into saying yes. I ended the phone call before I said something rude. What would you do? Am I wrong in asking for at least the bus to pick up/drop off? Am I selfish? Should I set aside my feelings and beliefs and let him stay out of school & OD on tv & video games?