Urgent Upset Host..how to Respond.....

[flemings99]

Got this e-mail from my host today. Help on how to respond?
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I really wish you would have asked me if I minding you sharing the results from my show with my guests. I am very upset that you shared specific details with them. I would not have shared that and do not appreciate that you did. That was personal and I at least should have been able to say no I don't want that info. shared. I have just been telling people that the show was a success and I received some nice hostess benefits. Sharing the specific details was not necessary.
----the following was sent just a few min. prior to the above.....
I am not going to be pushy with my friends to get them to book a show. If you've contacted them and they book, great, but if they don't respond maybe they have changed their minds. Getting credit for them isn't really an issue with me since I am not becoming a consultant.

--------
Here is what I sent out that she is upset about. Same format I send out after all of my shows & have never had a complaint before.

Hi Ladies:

Thank you for attending Tracey's Pampered Chef show! It was a pleasure to meet each of you. I hope you each had a great time.

Tracey's show was a huge success! Because of her show sales, she will receive $165 in FREE products + FREE shipping + 2 Half Price Items of her choice + 60% off either scraper collection + UNLIMITED 25% discount + 10% off for 1 year + 60% off hostess special for each booking held. Isn't that amazing!!!

For those of you who signed up to book a show of your own, please contact me as possible to schedule your show. We need to have confirmed dates in the system prior to placing Tracey's show order for her to receive credit.

Please find attached the recipes that we prepared at the show.

I look forward to helping you with all your Pampered Chef needs!
-------------

 

[rennea]

I don't think you did anything wrong with the email that you sent. You didn't even state how much in sales she actually had.

I think it may have embarrassed the host but I don't know why.

 

[DebbieJ]

wow, it's not like you told everyone how much she spent or anything. Some people!

 

[coriatc]

Yeah, I don't see anything wrong with that either... Your host is WAY oversensitive about it ... and she is overreacting.

 

[AnnieBee]

I think Rennea is right, she may be embarrassed about how much she got. I know before I ever hosted, I was quite uncomfortable with the idea that I would get all this free stuff because my friends spent THEIR money. Then wanting the free stuff (after going to so many other shows) won out!! LOL! But standing there at the show hearing the consultant tell my friends how much I'd get because of their spending, I really did find embarrassing. Now as a consultant, I totally understand that you have to do it (and I do do it!), but you have to respect someones feelings...

My suggestion would be to apologize for any embarrassment caused and explain that this is your standard email to guests after a show.

If you wanted to go there, (not sure that you should!) you could point out that 1) The host benefits are both in the catalog and were presented at the show for all to see, and 2) that from your point of view, showing what your hosts get for free is a big part in encouraging show bookings, without which your business and income would suffer.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

ETA: You could point out that while she felt it was personal, nothing "personal" to how much she or any individual spent was disclosed, and that because the host benefits are "public" info, most people would understand that she probably got a lot of free stuff. You could start out by saying something like, "In case it helps you feel less self concious about host benefits you received, I wanted to point out that our great host benefits are pretty much understood by all of the guests, I even talk about them at each show". But again, maybe best to just stick to an apology...

 

[Get_Pampered]

That is tough - I do not know what I would say because, really you do have the right to tell the whole world what she gets because YOU are giving it to HER. I would suggest calling your director.

 

[pcchefjane]

For some reason, this Host doesn't get the whole concept of the Show! In my newsletter I send out each month, I give the name of my Top Host, how much their Show was, how much they got free, and how much they saved on their total purchases! That is how we encourage people to host! She is nuts!

 

[AnnieBee]

Again, I think not nuts, just embarrassed...

 

[pcchefjane]

I don't understand why she would be embarassed! The more free product Hosts get, the more they like to brag about it...normally! I didn't mean "nuts" as in psychotic...just "out of the norm"!

 

[AnnieBee]

Did you read my post (#5)? Maybe I'm unusual, but I was an embarrassed host...

 

[rennea]

I don't understand why she would be embarassed! The more free product Hosts get, the more they like to brag about it...normally! I didn't mean "nuts" as in psychotic...just "out of the norm"!

Some hosts do get embarrassed:blushing: Like Anniebee stated their friends had to spend their money so the hosts could get the freebies!! My girlfriend had a party (not PC) and it was very successful, she received a ton of free product and was very embarrassed that the consultant stated so to everyone. It does seem silly to us because it is the whole idea why you host a party isn't?!?!

 

[wadesgirl]

Do you do this for all your hosts? If so I would just explain that to her. Let her know that you are sorry it offended her but a majority of your hosts like that you share that with their friends.I have a few hosts who want to be my top show of the month so all their friends can see their name in my newsletter.

 

[NooraK]

Did you read my post (#5)? Maybe I'm unusual, but I was an embarrassed host...

I can totally see where you are coming from. It almost feels like you're taking advantage of your friends. You know they came out of their own free will, you didn't force them to spend anything, but you are not having to spend as much as you would have because of how much they spent.

 

[Chef Kearns]

I think Rennea is right, she may be embarrassed about how much she got. I know before I ever hosted, I was quite uncomfortable with the idea that I would get all this free stuff because my friends spent THEIR money. Then wanting the free stuff (after going to so many other shows) won out!! LOL! But standing there at the show hearing the consultant tell my friends how much I'd get because of their spending, I really did find embarrassing. Now as a consultant, I totally understand that you have to do it (and I do do it!), but you have to respect someones feelings...

My suggestion would be to apologize for any embarrassment caused and explain that this is your standard email to guests after a show.

If you wanted to go there, (not sure that you should!) you could point out that 1) The host benefits are both in the catalog and were presented at the show for all to see, and 2) that from your point of view, showing what your hosts get for free is a big part in encouraging show bookings, without which your business and income would suffer.
Anyone else have any thoughts?

ETA: You could point out that while she felt it was personal, nothing "personal" to how much she or any individual was disclosed, and that because the host benefits are "public" info, most people would understand that she probably got a lot of free stuff. You could start out by saying something like, "In case it helps you feel less self concious about host benefits you received, I wanted to point out that our great host benefits are pretty much understood by all of the guests, I even talk about them at each show". But again, maybe best to just stick to an apology...

I think this is very diplomatic. You have acknowledged her feelings, but stayed firm in a business practice that is public knowledge and common for us. I would definitely follow this advice if I were in this situation. In 5 1/2 years I've never experienced this though. A first for me!!

 

[Get_Pampered]

I can totally see where you are coming from. It almost feels like you're taking advantage of your friends. You know they came out of their own free will, you didn't force them to spend anything, but you are not having to spend as much as you would have because of how much they spent.

I can understand this and this is why it is important to have guests become hosts. Guests can then have all the fun and free products of being a host. And past host still benefits so they have giddy fun together

 

[cookin to the top]

I would understand the embarrasment "See what I got.... you didn't"..... if they didn't get the same opportunity of getting free products- but they DO have the choice of hosting and doing the same thing (if not better)! "This is what I did...do you want to do it too?" is fine, in my book!

 

[PampChefJoy]

Some people are really sensitive to this, I've found over the years... I always word it as so-and-so "saved" this amount, rather than so-and-so received this amount for free. It's really saying the same thing but one is perceived a bit differently than the other. To someone who is picky or sensitive about it, it can make a world of difference.

 

[flemings99]

Just talked to the host. When I called she was very short with me. I asked if this was a good time and she said only if all I needed was her CC to close out the show. Told her I'd like to talk with her a little and could call a different time if that was better and she said no. We closed out her show as I normally would and then told her that I had received her e-mail and was sorry that she was upset. I explained that it was the standard e-mail I send after every show & that in 153 shows she's the only one it's bothered. She told me she used to be in marketing & what I did was totally un-called for & TACKY!! She said her husband agreed with her and that had she responded to me last night when she first read the e-mail that she wouldn't have been so nice. Thank God she didn't--it was pretty nasty over the phone.

She further stated that I was just out for myself & trying to get more business. I didn't even mention all the extra "bonuses" she earned that I personally offered.

She had 5 bookings out of 12 people at the show. I'm not forcing anyone into it. Kicker is, she had expressed interest in becoming a consultant & prior to all this had decided it wasn't the right time.

Don't usually send out the thank you letter from P3 and had made a commitment to do it this year, but don't think I'll print that out for her---I'm sure it is tacky to say what she could have made as a consultant too.

I know, bless & release---but this one has really got under my skin today.

Thanks for all the support & advise.

 

[lockhartkitchen]

I would acknowledge her feelings: "I'm sorry you felt this was personal". "My email is a standard business practice. I send out a summary of what your guests read in the catalog. I want other people to be given the opportunity to experience the success you did. Without future bookings, my business would not exist."

 

[lockhartkitchen]

Saw your new post Barb. She was in the wrong, but we all know
"the customer is always right", sometimes means we won't change their feelings. We can only bless and release. I wouldnt' waste your paper or stamp on the thank you letter. You've done enough.

 

[whiteyteresa]

Is it not the reason we have a host program - the guest orders and the host gets free stuff because there friends orders. It's not like we pull a name out of a hat or we ramdonly picked her for a show.

She knew when she booked and the guest knew before they arrived who was paying and who was getting free stuff

my opinion

:chef:

 

[pamperedlinda]

I'd bless and release....after I stewed on it for a while (things like this get under my skin too)

Seems to me though that 'most' people know when they are invited to these parties that the host will get free items based on sales - and they know that what they buy helps the host to get there. Was she a past guest? Was the booking host there? Some people are just weird. Don't let it bother you any more.

I have a past host who had a very successful show with me 2 years ago (over $900). She and her husband have since fallen on hard times. She loves PC, and had considered becoming a consultant.....but she has this hang-up that because she and many of her friends are also falling on hard times that she cannot 'ask them to buy to benefit her'....I don't get it. I've told her that people are eating in restaurants less and at home more and that they really want new ideas for cooking. I've told her about the budget friendly meals and power cooking - even offered to do a power coking clinic with them - no strings attached. She won't budge. She wants our cookware bad too!

 

[BethCooks4U]

I have found that many guests want to help their friend out. I have had a lot of people ask if their order or booking helped the host. Home parties aren't new - most people know what it's about.

Just let her comments go. Not worth upsetting yourself over - she's rare.

 

[BettieC]

yrs ago, I had a friend that we would feed off of each other's parties! She would have a party, I would buy a bunch of stuff AND book my own show, she would buy a bunch of stuff at my party, book another show...ect.

 

[Nanisu]

I think the "this is what I do for all my customers (NOT HOSTS) so that they see the advantage of the host benefits....which would have been less if the show were not held in January. "

Then Bless and release and get on the phone and book all those other shows before she gets a chance to bad mouth you to her friends.

 

[flemings99]

True. I had thought I'd let things cool off for a couple days before calling to firm up dates, but maybe I should go ahead and call?...... Hadn't firmed up dates on all of them b/c she was iffy on signing up and I wanted them to be booked on her schedule not mine. Guess I'll do that different next time.

At least I know. I can't fix what I don't know is a problem & now I know and can be more sensative in the future.

Thank you for all the responses.

 

[pamperedpals]

I am sitting here with my mouth hanging open. I have never heard of anything like that before.

As far as I can see, you are doing all of the right things. I would definately call and schedule the show's with those who expressed interest and then bless and release.

 

[thecougchef]

like anniebee said - she might just be embarrassed that she got all this free stuff while other people paid for their products. HOWEVER - i think that MOST people who go to a direct sales party know that the host gets free & discounted products. that is why people host parties. plus - the hostess benefits are right in the catalog. nothing you said was a secret.

i agree with someone above - let her know its your standard practice & you apologize for any embarrassment. then bless & release. hopefully your bookings will be successful! good luck!

 

[wadesgirl]

Call those bookings, if she doesn't want to have them, they are yours.

 

[AnnieBee]

Just talked to the host. When I called she was very short with me. I asked if this was a good time and she said only if all I needed was her CC to close out the show. Told her I'd like to talk with her a little and could call a different time if that was better and she said no. We closed out her show as I normally would and then told her that I had received her e-mail and was sorry that she was upset. I explained that it was the standard e-mail I send after every show & that in 153 shows she's the only one it's bothered. She told me she used to be in marketing & what I did was totally un-called for & TACKY!! She said her husband agreed with her and that had she responded to me last night when she first read the e-mail that she wouldn't have been so nice. Thank God she didn't--it was pretty nasty over the phone.

She further stated that I was just out for myself & trying to get more business. I didn't even mention all the extra "bonuses" she earned that I personally offered.
She had 5 bookings out of 12 people at the show. I'm not forcing anyone into it. Kicker is, she had expressed interest in becoming a consultant & prior to all this had decided it wasn't the right time.

Don't usually send out the thank you letter from P3 and had made a commitment to do it this year, but don't think I'll print that out for her---I'm sure it is tacky to say what she could have made as a consultant too.

I know, bless & release---but this one has really got under my skin today.

Thanks for all the support & advise.

Wow, I'm sorry to hear her response! My suggestion to you at this point would be to email something like:

I just wanted to email to apologize once more, I am truly sorry that you were offended by my email to your guests. Like I said earlier, this has been my standard practice for over 150 shows, and I have never had a host who has tell me they were bothered by it. I pride myself on running my business with integrity and good customer service, and as such, if I had ever thought that a host would find it offensive or tacky I would not have done this. My experience has been that hosts are typically excited to share their good fortune and experience with the friends that have helped them by attending the show.

I am sad (not quite the right word, but I'm having trouble coming up with the right one. "upset" isn't quite right either...) that you felt that I was "just out for myself" and only trying to get more business. My goal in being a consultant is to help my hosts and guests to have a fun evening, learn a recipe, show them some great products, and give them time and money saving tips. I also aim to help my hosts get some great free and discounted PC products, and I provide bonuses in addition to those provided by TPC. As I said before, I also pride myself on providing great customer service. However, when it comes to trying to "get more business", then yes, that is something that I also aim to do. Being a consultant is not a hobby for me, it is my personal business, and I rely on the income provided to help pay my bills. As such, like any other business owner, I will market my services and host benefits to the guests at my shows in order for my business to be grow and be successful. I do not feel that that is unreasonable, and it certainly does not mean that I am "only out for myself". I do hope you can see my perspective on that.

I truly hope that you and your guests had an fun evening and enjoy your new PC products. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

Sincerely,

XXX XXX

Of course it might be better to just bless and release, but I just have a hard time not defending myself, and I really would hope that she could see your perspective...

Anyone else have a comment? Agree or disagree?

 

[pcchefjane]

You can also tell her after you have all the dates confirmed when each is and that SHE is also entitled to the Host Special from each show. Wonder how she will feel then? I just can't understand her whole deal. If she was considering being a Consultant, she must have realized that is how we make our money! Contact those that booked ASAP! I'd hate to think she is badmouthing you but if she is in Marketing, she knows that one of the biggest ways you "market" is by sharing successes from those who used the "services" before... Bless and release is best with someone like this. Yes, AnnieBee, I read your Post #5 and just don't get why she would be embarrassed. Sorry...

 

[susanr613]

i'm sorry that your host was offended by the direct sales business model and practices, and embarassed by her friends knowing her benefits.

i would not have any further communication with her. you tried to apologize and she was not willing to play nice with you. her comment about "being in marketing" shows that she is ignorant of how we in DS conduct business. Newsflash to her - in the end, you ARE trying to get more business.

Go ahead and pursue those 5 bookings - you earned them, and unless your host has a change of heart, she likely won't be a consultant.

 

[Sheleif]

I would be willing to bet that this woman is a drama queen. I am sorry that this happened to you. I know it hard but try and let it run off your back. You did nothing wrong. ((hugs))

 

[AnnieBee]

You can also tell her after you have all the dates confirmed when each is and that SHE is also entitled to the Host Special from each show. Wonder how she will feel then? I just can't understand her whole deal. If she was considering being a Consultant, she must have realized that is how we make our money! Contact those that booked ASAP! I'd hate to think she is badmouthing you but if she is in Marketing, she knows that one of the biggest ways you "market" is by sharing successes from those who used the "services" before...

Bless and release is best with someone like this.

Yes, AnnieBee, I read your Post #5 and just don't get why she would be embarrassed. Sorry...

No problem!

Two more things...

1) Absolutely call and get the bookings
2) Just in case you didn't know, you can edit the "thank you" letter! Not so much that you would want to use it this time, but I thought you might like to know for the future. I quite often delete the part about how much the commission is, depending on the host.

 

[pc_cindy]

I agree with AnnieBee. I would send one last communication like what AnnieBee wrote. I would take out the second half of the line "Like I said earlier, this has been my standard practice for over 150 shows, and I have never had a host who has tell me they were bothered by it." mainly because it somewhat dismisses her feelings. When I feel offended, I truly don't care what 150 others thought. Add a period after shows. Just my two cents.

 

[Jules711]

I think Annabel's "email" sounds great. This would upset me too. Not that she was upset that you shared her benefits, but then she isn't letting it go! I have had hosts request that I don't share the total sales with people (mostly siblings) and I actually don't share that info. I tell them to ask the host or tell them it was very successful...whatever.Hopefully, her friends know how she is and it won't affect your business. I think was SHE is doing is tacky and rude. Marketing...huh...so HOW would she market your business?

 

[jrodeo]

I don't think she feels she is worthy of all the free products and so thinks her friends don't think she is worthy either. You have already apologized. Any further attempt on your part to get her to understand isn't helping either one of you. She will think you are trying to "one up" her by having the last word and pardon me for saying this, but try to let go of the need to have her happy with you. You've done nothing wrong.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[flemings99]

Thanks for all the responses. It's made my day so much better. ---I did go ahead and call the other potiental host & ended up lmtc again--I'm leaving it alone for now. If they call back, great--if not I'm moving on. I've got 11 shows for FEB---I'll be fine if they don't work out.

I am putting the top copy sales reciepts in the mail tomorrow with an editted thank you p3 letter. I also put nice thank you stickers on every order enclosed. My plan...kill it with kindness!

 

[pjpamchef]

I would send out the standard Thank You letter from p-3, to further your case that it is standard business practice. Then I would hand write a note at the bottom thanking her for all her hard work to make her show a sucess. One lesson my Mother taught me when I was young, it is hard to be mean and hateful to someone who keeps coming back and is nice. She is a lost cause, but she did give you a great show and some potential bookings!! Kill her with kindess!! (remember sucess is the ultimate revenge) Don't give her a single reason to say anything bad about you to her friends, chances are they know her better than you think!!

 

[Christ Follower]

Wow...

I was just thinking, "What a great idea to send out an email like that!" LOL!

I hope those bookings work out for you. Sorry your host reacted that way.

 

[legacypc46]

I guess I'm in the minority on this one, but a DS consultant would probably lose my business if she shared how much I received from hosting a show. I don't consider it my guests' business to know how I do or do not benefit when hosting a DS party. (And it's a little surprising to read the posts about how 'crazy' I must be to feel that way :cry

I am sorry to hear the host was so nasty...not called for! I do love Annabel's email! Nicely worded! I also like Joy's suggestion of sharing how much hosts save...it sounds less self-serving to all involved, but gets the point across.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

I guess I'm in the minority on this one, but a DS consultant would probably lose my business if she shared how much I received from hosting a show. I don't consider it my guests' business to know how I do or do not benefit when hosting a DS party. (And it's a little surprising to read the posts about how 'crazy' I must be to feel that way :cry

I am sorry to hear the host was so nasty...not called for! I do love Annabel's email! Nicely worded! I also like Joy's suggestion of sharing how much hosts save...it sounds less self-serving to all involved, but gets the point across.

I agree with this. In fact, although I absolutely love my Tasty Tidbits newsletter - I always delete the "best host" part. I know for a fact it would embarrass some of my hosts to be listed there.

Occasionally, I will have a guest ask me how a host did. I respond by saying that she had a successful, fun party....and that she should ask the host about all of the great benefits she received. Then it's between friends, and I'm not in the middle of it.

 

[amy07]

interesting views on both sides. Now I'm glad that I all I send is a thank you email with the recipe. So far, nobody has sent an angry email about the recipe.........(fingers crossed)

 

[heather223]

I don't tell the guests what the host got for free- I let them ask the host. I do let my host know how much she got for free with the Thank you letter.

Once in a while I will put the top host in my newsletter, but not often. I agree that it is a touchy subject....... only becuase people do for some reason get slightly offended by it.

 

[chefsteph07]

I never thought about taking that out of a newsletter.., I guess maybe there is a point taken by that...
I have "top sellers" of the year listed on my website, what do you think of that? It has their name, city and show amount. I do this for $500 in sales and over. Wonder if I should take that out too?

 

[AnnieBee]

I never thought about taking that out of a newsletter.., I guess maybe there is a point taken by that...
I have "top sellers" of the year listed on my website, what do you think of that? It has their name, city and show amount. I do this for $500 in sales and over. Wonder if I should take that out too?

Maybe you could take out their last name?

Personally, I don't and won't list top sellers or tell guests how much the host got, I think Becky's way of handling it sounds great.

 

[babywings76]

Maybe when closing a show, it could be said, "Wow! What a great show you had! Would you mind if in my next newsletter I shared with people about how well you did?" Maybe you could also say that those whose show totals you mention get a free spice or something? Then maybe they won't mind. And maybe tell them how you usually send out an e-mail to guests after a show to thank them, etc, and see if that's okay about sharing the info? Just an idea. I haven't done this before, and tend to shy away from giving out specific amounts to people, other than generalities during a show: "Well, I just had a host who earned $xxx" But not say the name.

 

[flemings99]

Obviously will do things different in the future and glad that it was brought to my attention so I can change how I do things.

For me, I don't think it's any different than going to Target finding a great clearance sale and calling my friend to tell her all about how much I saved and she'd better get there quick or miss out. My BFF & I used to do this all the time when our kids were in diapers. Speaking of---If you have kids in diapers---last week they were clearancing out the pampers specail box sizes---it brought me back to those days. Check your local target.

Brings me back to my college days---we're all different and have different life experiences that make up who we are. It's not wrong to feel one way or another--it's just who we are and what makes us who we are. And that difference is what we have to accept and love about each other, although it's not always easy.

 

[pampcheflisa]

Obviously will do things different in the future and glad that it was brought to my attention so I can change how I do things.

For me, I don't think it's any different than going to Target finding a great clearance sale and calling my friend to tell her all about how much I saved and she'd better get there quick or miss out. My BFF & I used to do this all the time when our kids were in diapers. Speaking of---If you have kids in diapers---last week they were clearancing out the pampers specail box sizes---it brought me back to those days. Check your local target.

Brings me back to my college days---we're all different and have different life experiences that make up who we are. It's not wrong to feel one way or another--it's just who we are and what makes us who we are. And that difference is what we have to accept and love about each other, although it's not always easy.

That is a wonderful attitude to take, especially after the situation you just went through. That definitely makes you "being the bigger person".

 

[gailz2]

I agree not to send anything further, except newsletters. She is an overly touchy host and nothing you can say is going to improve that now. Don't let it get to you personally.