chefann
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theOfficial Hijacking Threads Hijack Thread
- Thread starter The_Kitchen_Guy
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chefann
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You should have seen his wife's reaction! Barry hadn't worn a Halloween costume in 40 years. He planned that with me without giving anything away to Wife. He came to my house a week ahead to see that everything would fit - or at least go on and close or be pinnable. Then I snuck the costume into the house in a bag, and we snuck out of the party at one point. I returned to the kitchen - he followed a few minutes later.
http://www.michiganlcoc.org/gallery/albums/Halloween2006/Her_reaction_is_not_fully_captured_in_this_pic.sized.jpg
DH had his camera ready to get the pic of Barry, and told the other photog at the party to focus on Wife - no matter what he heard from other partygoers. So we got a couple of good reaction shots.
http://www.michiganlcoc.org/gallery/albums/Halloween2006/Her_reaction_is_not_fully_captured_in_this_pic.sized.jpg
DH had his camera ready to get the pic of Barry, and told the other photog at the party to focus on Wife - no matter what he heard from other partygoers. So we got a couple of good reaction shots.
raebates
Staff member
- 18,357
I'm working a short (2-day) temp job. I had two hours worth of actual work. I chatted with the salesman/assistant manager most of the morning. My main job is answering phones and taking messages. They've let me know it's okay to chat online, read, etc.
Interesting side note: While chatting, the salesman/assistant manager mentioned that he will be 61 soon, and he spent his teen years hanging out in Marion, IN. I told him I grew up in Marion and will turn 45 next month. He said that he used to rollerskate a lot. I asked him if he knew Paul Black. His eyes brightened, and he said, "Sure. I know Paul."
I said, "He's my daddy."
The man about fell off his chair. They ran around with the same crowd. Now, my dad just turned 84 in May, so they aren't the same age. Then again, Dad never did look or act his age. I can't wait to tell him that I've met one of his old buddies. I'm hoping for good stories to share at the next family get-together.
Interesting side note: While chatting, the salesman/assistant manager mentioned that he will be 61 soon, and he spent his teen years hanging out in Marion, IN. I told him I grew up in Marion and will turn 45 next month. He said that he used to rollerskate a lot. I asked him if he knew Paul Black. His eyes brightened, and he said, "Sure. I know Paul."
I said, "He's my daddy."
The man about fell off his chair. They ran around with the same crowd. Now, my dad just turned 84 in May, so they aren't the same age. Then again, Dad never did look or act his age. I can't wait to tell him that I've met one of his old buddies. I'm hoping for good stories to share at the next family get-together.
chefann
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The_Kitchen_Guy
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chefann
Gold Member
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Ok- I had posted a link a while back to Dad Gone Mad, a pretty hilarious blog. Today's post is too funny, because a) I'm afraid of bugs, so I can relate to Hot Wife; and b) we've been experiencing a cricket not-quite-infestation at our house this summer, and have seen (and heard!) the little buggers up close.
For your convenience, here's the text of the story:
Sometimes You’re The Windshield
It would take me weeks to itemize the myriad reasons why I’m grateful for my wife, but one of the first reasons on the list would be that she’s terrified of bugs. I’m grateful for that because there’s just something hilarious about hearing a grown woman shriek like a two-year-old at the sight of a daddy long legs.
I’m certain this is commonplace in all parts of the world but Evans World Headquarters is prone to squatters with varying numbers of legs, wings and whatnot. The most common invaders are wee little spiders and crickets, and although their presence is by no means threatening or even concerning, the process of finding and exterminating these creatures is the same each time:
1. Hot Wife screams like a woman being groped by a zombie in a horror movie.
2. I hear her wail and presume (based on its pitch and the level of commitment behind it) that an errant javelin has struck my wife in the head.
3. I run to her.
4. I find her (usually in a bathroom) shivering and cowering and pointing at a tiny bug, which, if she had even a “no thank you” helping of balls, she could kill with her pinkie toe.
5. I laugh at her.
6. I kill the bug.
7. I pick up the carcass and put it close to her face so she can see how preposterous it is to be scared of something so unintimidating.
8. She screams again.
9. I laugh again.
A few nights ago while she was giving the kids a bath and I was looking at boobies doing research on the internet, I heard the familiar shriek.
"EEEEEEEEKK! DANNY!”
I went running. When I arrived at the bathroom door, I saw her backing up and followed her eyes to a wimpy little cricket about the size of a dime. The kids had stood up in the tub and appeared perplexed, as if they were thinking, “Why is mom screaming? Is that cricket going to eat us?”
Over the years I’ve learned that accosting a cricket is more difficult than taking custody of, say, a spider. It’s feeble to try to catch crickets with a wad of toilet paper because they jumps. Far. And sometimes right at me. They are the insect version of a kamikaze pilot.
The best solution for crickets is bug spray. I’m not a big fan of spraying lethal chemicals around the house (unless they come from my butt), but a man must defend his home by any means necessary, right? I mean screw the environment! We have a man-eating, four-millimeter assassin in our house and I’ma kill that sumbi*ch no matter WHAT Al Gore says.
I returned to the bathroom with the spray, scooted Hot Wife out of the way, closed the shower door to protect the kids and lit that cricket up like the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. (Between you and me, if Hot Wife hadn’t been there I would have shown the kids that cool blowtorch effect you can do with an aerosol can and a cigarette lighter.)
A second or two later, the cricket stopped…um…cricketing. Peace was restored. I grabbed a few sheets of toilet paper, wiped up the chemicals, and picked up the cricket carcass.
As I turned to stick it in my wife’s face, she slapped me upside the head, ran into our bedroom and locked the door.
So I put it in her purse.
For your convenience, here's the text of the story:
Sometimes You’re The Windshield
It would take me weeks to itemize the myriad reasons why I’m grateful for my wife, but one of the first reasons on the list would be that she’s terrified of bugs. I’m grateful for that because there’s just something hilarious about hearing a grown woman shriek like a two-year-old at the sight of a daddy long legs.
I’m certain this is commonplace in all parts of the world but Evans World Headquarters is prone to squatters with varying numbers of legs, wings and whatnot. The most common invaders are wee little spiders and crickets, and although their presence is by no means threatening or even concerning, the process of finding and exterminating these creatures is the same each time:
1. Hot Wife screams like a woman being groped by a zombie in a horror movie.
2. I hear her wail and presume (based on its pitch and the level of commitment behind it) that an errant javelin has struck my wife in the head.
3. I run to her.
4. I find her (usually in a bathroom) shivering and cowering and pointing at a tiny bug, which, if she had even a “no thank you” helping of balls, she could kill with her pinkie toe.
5. I laugh at her.
6. I kill the bug.
7. I pick up the carcass and put it close to her face so she can see how preposterous it is to be scared of something so unintimidating.
8. She screams again.
9. I laugh again.
A few nights ago while she was giving the kids a bath and I was looking at boobies doing research on the internet, I heard the familiar shriek.
"EEEEEEEEKK! DANNY!”
I went running. When I arrived at the bathroom door, I saw her backing up and followed her eyes to a wimpy little cricket about the size of a dime. The kids had stood up in the tub and appeared perplexed, as if they were thinking, “Why is mom screaming? Is that cricket going to eat us?”
Over the years I’ve learned that accosting a cricket is more difficult than taking custody of, say, a spider. It’s feeble to try to catch crickets with a wad of toilet paper because they jumps. Far. And sometimes right at me. They are the insect version of a kamikaze pilot.
The best solution for crickets is bug spray. I’m not a big fan of spraying lethal chemicals around the house (unless they come from my butt), but a man must defend his home by any means necessary, right? I mean screw the environment! We have a man-eating, four-millimeter assassin in our house and I’ma kill that sumbi*ch no matter WHAT Al Gore says.
I returned to the bathroom with the spray, scooted Hot Wife out of the way, closed the shower door to protect the kids and lit that cricket up like the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center. (Between you and me, if Hot Wife hadn’t been there I would have shown the kids that cool blowtorch effect you can do with an aerosol can and a cigarette lighter.)
A second or two later, the cricket stopped…um…cricketing. Peace was restored. I grabbed a few sheets of toilet paper, wiped up the chemicals, and picked up the cricket carcass.
As I turned to stick it in my wife’s face, she slapped me upside the head, ran into our bedroom and locked the door.
So I put it in her purse.
The_Kitchen_Guy
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- 12,458
raebates
Staff member
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Ah, KG, you make me laugh. As a happily married man, you don't need to be near misses, anyway.And, as for your assertion that I "come by it honestly," if I am half as energetic and mentally sharp as my dad when I'm 84, I'll be pleased. I like to think I inherited his "gee-you-don't-look-your-age" genes. If I didn't, please don't burst my bubble. I also hope I've inherited his longevity genes. He's had several family members live well into their 90's while remaining healthy and active.
I also hope I've inherited his longevity genes. He's had several family members live well into their 90's while remaining healthy and active.
The_Kitchen_Guy
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Admin Greg
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<h2>1. What is a thread hijacking?</h2><p>A thread hijacking occurs when the topic of a conversation in a forum thread shifts from the original subject to something completely unrelated.</p><h2>2. Why do threads get hijacked?</h2><p>There are a few reasons why threads may get hijacked. Sometimes, it's simply the natural flow of conversation as one topic leads to another. Other times, it may be due to a lack of moderation or enforcement of staying on topic. Some users may also intentionally hijack threads for attention or to disrupt the conversation.</p><h2>3. Is thread hijacking a common issue on forums?</h2><p>Yes, thread hijacking is a common issue on forums. It can be frustrating for users who are genuinely interested in the original topic and can make it difficult for others to follow the conversation.</p><h2>4. How can thread hijacking be prevented?</h2><p>Moderation is key in preventing thread hijacking. Forum moderators should actively monitor threads and redirect the conversation back to the original topic if it veers off track. Setting clear guidelines for staying on topic can also help prevent thread hijacking.</p><h2>5. What should I do if I notice a thread being hijacked?</h2><p>If you notice a thread being hijacked, you can try politely redirecting the conversation back to the original topic. You can also flag the thread for moderation or report the issue to a forum moderator. It's important to remember to stay respectful and avoid engaging in any arguments or off-topic discussions.</p>
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