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Personal Okay, so I Am Such a Non-Confrontational Person.............

In summary, the conversation revolves around a frustrating experience at the dealership where the person's brand new spare tire was mistakenly disposed of and they were left with a flat tire. They are worried about confronting the dealership in the morning and are advised to stay calm and courteous when making the call. The conversation also touches on being non-confrontational and dealing with money issues. The person is encouraged to ask for the manager and explain the situation calmly. They are also reminded to treat the dealership with the same courtesy they would expect from their own customers.
pcsharon1
Gold Member
1,547
Even when I know I am right, I am totally a non-confrontational person. And the thought of that confrontation just makes me so incredibly nervous that I can hardly stand it. I am almost sick to the stomach over the issue I am going to have to deal with in the morning and I know that I won't sleep well because I am so nervous about it.

So, today I took my vehicle into the dealership to get the oil changed, four new tires and, come to find out after I get there, new front and back brakes. (I went into the dealership because the brakes started screeching a little yesterday and today became unbearable) Anyway, I told them when I checked in that I need four new tires and that my brand new, full size spare tire was on the rear passenger side and the flat with the nail in it is in the back of the SUV. Then when I dropped the keys off to the guy I reminded him of this. So...........you know where this is going right?

After FOUR HOURS in their waiting room with my THREE YEAR OLD (who was fantastic by the way) I finally check out at 6:00pm - go home, order pizza, go back out to get something out of the back of my car and I find............my flat with the nail in it. They disposed of my brand new, full size spare that they were supposed to put back underneath my car and left me with the flat! And of course, by that time, they were closed. I have left a message and sent an email - but this is a huge deal. I can't, and won't, pay for another $150 new tire because they made a mistake. But the fact that I know I am right does not make me feel any better and not being able to take care of it now is driving me crazy. Money issues have been coming our way left and right lately - and my husband just deployed to Iraq - so I am incredibly frustrated by this.
 
Sharon, I'm so sorry you are going through this! I can understand how incredibly frustrating and maddening it is. My only suggestion is, when you do make that call in the morning, stay as calm and courteous as you can. I've been in many situations where I was mad as . . .heck . . . and find that 95% of the time when you treat people nicely, they are more likely to give you what you want, or at least compromise. I know that sounds impossible right now, and probably still will in the morning, so just take a deep breath, put a smile on your face, and realize the person at the other end of the line is just as human as you.
 
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I'm not so much afraid that I'll get angry and tell anybody off - I'm more afraid that I'll get upset and cry from the frustration. It's frustrating enough that I have to go back at some point in the next couple weeks for an alignment because they didn't have time for that before they closed. And the fact that they offered to drive me home instead of making me wait there but they wouldn't come back and get me - that's why I sat in their waiting room with my little one for so long, I didn't have any way to get back to the dealership.
 
Good luck. I'm not a confrontational person either, but I've learned over the years, that keeping it in is worse.
 
Ask for the manager of the service department. Explain the situation from yesterday and the fact that your husband has just deployed. I would also ask if they could get you in soon at an time that is best for you to have the adjustment made...maybe suggest that since you have to come up for the tire anyway, the could just do the adjustment at that time.
 
When you make that call this morning, make sure you are totally awake. Take a deep breath and just explain, like you are telling your child a story, what happened. Remember too that it was a mistake rather than something they decided to to do to you intentionally. And treat them as you would want one of your Pampered Chef customers to treat you if you had made mistake on an order. I mean, it seems they were trying very hard to get it done for you so you could get home with the vehicle so, it was not done maliciously. So I am "pushing" strength to you this morning! You can do it without falling a part!
 
I agree with John. It was pobably just a mistake. They are usually just used to taking off all 4 tires and replacing them. Actually having to remember to put the 1 good one aside and replace it as a spare, may have slipped there mind. I don't think they did it intentional, especially knowing you have to come back. My husband and I have a service buss, and if someone calls me and speaks to me nasty, I can feel my blood pressure go up. I tell them I care about what they have to say, but won't be spoken to like that. I will listen to them without interuption and in return ask them to do the same when it is my turn to talk. 99% of the time I hear a deep breathe and they calm down.
I think, as consumers we automatically think we are being taken advantage of. When in fact it may be a mistake or there was a reason for doing it a different way that the customer may not be aware of.
I am sure you will get this resolved and feel so relieved afterwards. Please let us know how it turns out.
 
I agree with everyone else that has commented. You might also work up the nerve to ask them to do the alignment free of charge (or at least with a discount), in order to keep you as customer... never hurts to ask! I also would not consider this an confrontation, might help you relax. It is just you getting what you deserve. Let us know how it goes.
 
When you speak calmly and matter of factly, you will get positive results that you are looking for. I called the internet/phone/TV company because they had somehow shut off my answering service. I had not been getting PC customer messages. I found out when a customer emailed me. The company gave me 3 months free of HBO/Cinemax free for the troubles. It made my day!
 
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Actually, I had called and left a message as soon as I realized what had happened. I got a call from them first thing this morning - early, like 7:30 - and they said they had already looked and found the tire and to come by and they would take care of it. So I dropped off the flat and went shopping and returned and they had it ready and even put it back under my SUV for me - which I would have never been able to do, it was hard enough for me to get it in the back of the car.

So everything turned out fine. The young mechanic that had spent all yesterday afternoon working on my car even drove it through their automatic car wash for me before he let me back in it. Said that he had wanted to wash it for me yesterday but there was a line of 5-6 cars and he felt like I had already been waiting long enough. I do still have to go back for my alignment soon, but I will wait until I have childcare rather than putting any of us through that again.
 
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Awe, I'm so glad that it was a very easy resolution for you! :D(((hugs))) on the deployment! My hubby leaves next weekend & won't come back to Okinawa. I'll be doing the pack-out by myself with a 1 year old, a 2 year old & a dog, then meeting him at the new duty station in July. Soooooo not looking forward to doing the pack-out by myself! :(
 
  • #14
Sheila i know where u are coming from... my aunt had to do their pack -out alone with a newborn, while her hubby was deployed... from what i heard, wasnt fun
 
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So glad it worked out this way.
 
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I didn't have to do pack up alone but the day they dropped our household goods off here in Colorado Springs is the same night my husband left for a month of training in California. So I set up house on my own. And then we just moved on post - after only five months in the rental house - and he left for Iraq the following week. So again, I am setting up house mostly alone. Just me and the three year old. For now I have stuck everything that doesn't have a home in the basement - which we were trying to make into a play room for the spring/summer/fall (it stays a little cooler than the rest of the house even though it is heated and we really wouldn't want to be down there long in the winter). I've almost decided that I don't need any of it and I'm about to haul it all off to Goodwill or the post thrift shop. Then I won't have so much trouble next time I move.
 
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Glad to hear it worked out!
 
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To the ladies whose husbands have deployed/are deploying, I just wanted to take a minute to say "thank you" to you and your families for the enormous sacrifice and phenomenal strength of character that it takes them and YOU to serve our country. It's because of you and your husbands that I can sleep safely at night and for that I am eternally grateful. I will pray for you each day and keep you in my heart at all times:) Thank You!
 
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ChefVal said:
To the ladies whose husbands have deployed/are deploying, I just wanted to take a minute to say "thank you" to you and your families for the enormous sacrifice and phenomenal strength of character that it takes them and YOU to serve our country. It's because of you and your husbands that I can sleep safely at night and for that I am eternally grateful. I will pray for you each day and keep you in my heart at all times:) Thank You!


I second that....for both US & Canadian military members & their families!
 
  • #20
Sharon,
You got it "nipped in the bud" when you made that original call that night. See, it was just someone who was actually thinking about doing something good for by getting you home. He just simply forgot. I know it is so easy to make a call when you know there is no one who is going to answer. Your prayers were answered by your own doing! They realized the error and fixed it so to speak before you had to become confrontational. Not all businesses are ICKY to deal with! You got a good service! Several years ago, I dealt with a different car and a company that NEVER took the heat for their own mistakes. Even when it was proven it was their fault! Be grateful.
Now I am going ot high jack this Sharon!
Sheila, geez! I will pray for a speedy, easy move for you. Any idea where you will be going?
 

1. What do you mean by being a "non-confrontational person"?

Being a non-confrontational person means that you tend to avoid or dislike confrontation and conflict in your interactions with others. You may have a tendency to shy away from expressing your true feelings or opinions in order to avoid potential conflicts.

2. How can I learn to become more assertive and confrontational?

Learning to become more assertive and confrontational takes practice and self-awareness. Some techniques you can try include setting boundaries, using "I" statements to express your feelings, and practicing active listening. It can also be helpful to work on building your self-confidence and self-esteem.

3. Is being non-confrontational a bad thing?

Being non-confrontational is not necessarily a bad thing. It can be a helpful trait in certain situations, such as avoiding unnecessary conflicts or maintaining harmony in relationships. However, it can also become a hindrance if it prevents you from standing up for yourself or expressing your true feelings.

4. How can I deal with confrontational people if I am non-confrontational?

If you are non-confrontational, it can be challenging to deal with confrontational individuals. One approach is to remain calm and assertive, and try to understand their perspective. It can also be helpful to set boundaries and communicate your needs clearly. If the situation becomes too uncomfortable, it is okay to remove yourself from the situation.

5. Are there any benefits to being non-confrontational?

Yes, there can be benefits to being a non-confrontational person. Some potential benefits include maintaining harmony in relationships, avoiding unnecessary conflicts, and being seen as agreeable and easy-going. However, it is important to find a balance and not let your non-confrontational tendencies prevent you from standing up for yourself when necessary.

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