Ok, a Little Mental Struggle With Pampered Chef...

[janetupnorth]

As many of you know, I:
- work full time
- am a volunteer firefighter/EMT
- Red Cross instructor
- husband works about 65-70 hours per week at a Christian camp in the area where I also help on the weekends a bit
- have 2 kids (6 and 3 1/2) that I love and give all the attention to I can
...and...
- do PC.

Well, here is my struggle...I now have a goal of being a FD by Leadership and making it more as God leads...

We are supposed to get any mental roadblocks or doubts out of our way and just do it!

However, I KNOW God has me doing my FT and PC.

So, are there any of you FT that want to keep doing their FT job (not wanting to replace it) but still feel like you want to do PC more? How do you handle this?

Also, from the mental perspective, I understand the state of mind you need and pushing past all things to reach the goal, but also struggle with the fact that God needs to lead my life, not me. How do you guys balance that? ...the "let go and let God"...along with the "I need to do" Especially with the kids - they are my first priority and I have a hard time "driving full-force" and worrying that I'm doing too much ME and not THEM.

I have no doubt in my mind that God will do His will...but He doesn't always show us the clear path of what He has in mind...and I'm trying to determine what "level" He wants me at...He could have left me without a desire of Directorship which is where I was at a few months ago, but it is now there...

Ok, did I make any sense or start rambling. ...just so many thoughts in my head trying to balance my busy life when I like ALL (or most) of what I do!

 

[Kathytnt]

Here is a cool prayer I got on this website - It is tough doing all the things your are doing but you are there for a reason. God has a plan for you. How will you implement that plan

 

[Stampaholic1961]

There is a CD on the paperwork/supply order that is about balancing a full time job & PC. I don't know what is on it because I'm not in that position. Sorry I can't help!

 

[Teresa Lynn]

When life seems to overwhelm me (too many kids activities, PC obligations, etc) I look over at my favorite sign in my office Be still and know that I am God

 

[chefann]

There is a CD on the paperwork/supply order that is about balancing a full time job & PC. I don't know what is on it because I'm not in that position. Sorry I can't help!

#AW68 Managing The Pampered Chef and Another Job, Deb Skrzynecki & Christine McMahon (Deb has her own very successful chiropractic practice.)

I had this exact workshop last year at national, and it was very good.

 

[janetupnorth]

Thanks - I guess my struggle isn't doing it all...I do it all no matter what!

It is having the mental outlook and goals and promotions and attitude to recruit (kind of like the July 25th call) but making sure it isn't about me wanting to achieve it, being about what God wants. ...I guess looking at it, it is more a personal mental struggle. I just have to go forward since He put the desire in my heart, and if He wants to change it or slam doors, He will at that time.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Janet.....I'm not working another job (Besides being a MOM!) but I am extremely active at church....Small Group Leader, Teaching classes (membership & baptism classes) Helping with Video work, On the Programming Team for Sunday Services, Moms Group.......and various other volunteer things.

I still struggle sometimes with feeling like maybe I am stretching myself too thin to do anything to the best of my ability - but I also realize that part of that feeling is just me - always feeling like I could/should do a better job at everything I do.
I have gone back and forth on directorship - for one reason, because I cannot see myself "selling the dream". I'll never be one to just sell a dream - I want to provide people with something more concrete than just a dream. I've seen too many disillusioned people who buy into a dream(not PC) that never comes true - and I don't want to be someone who facilitates that.
I think what keeps me going more than anything is the fact that this is the only job I have found that truly does work around my schedule....and I never get tired of doing my shows, and meeting and getting to know so many great people who inspire, encourage, and challenge me. And I get to cook and try out new recipes...and teach people! (I'm a teacher at heart...and actually by degree!) Because of that, I feel like I have something to offer people, in the way of quality products....and a quality job opportunity.
When I feel like PC is overwhelming my life - I take a break for a couple of days. I pray always for perspective - God's perspective - on my business, my family life, my inner life......
I read a phrase once that has stuck with me - can't remember where I read it, but I've tried to live by it...."An unexamined life is an empty life". When I feel like things are getting too busy I take time to pray "Search me O God, and know my heart....." This helps immensely with keeping my priorities in line. I also am never afraid to say NO to something that I feel is too much, or that would interfere with one of my REAL priorities. For example, I wanted to
make the $3000 mark this month, but had limited time for shows, so I scheduled 4 shows this week. It's been rough - and I feel like my DS has suffered for it - so I won't be doing 4 shows in a week again - no matter what!
A couple books that have really helped me are "Ordering Your Private World" by Gordon MacDonald, "SoulShaping" by Douglas Rumford, and "Margins" by Swensen.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Janet~

I don't have any extra ideas for you other than to keep all of this in prayer. Your last post said that God has given you this desire (it's already in your heart) and now it's up to him to bless your road to get there or to move you onto a different path if He chooses. You are so right there!

I am not a big believer on "structured" prayer but I saved that business prayer and I am going to use it in my morning prayers. I think it says all of the things that are flying around in our heads that we don't always stop and say to Him.

I pray that He will give you peace, and the ability to fit all of your activities into your life (Him, family, work, PC, etc.) I know it's a struggle to try and stay balanced between all of that!

In His love,
Kelly

 

[KellyTheChef]

Here is a cool prayer I got on this website - It is tough doing all the things your are doing but you are there for a reason. God has a plan for you. How will you implement that plan

Kathy~

Thanks for sharing this!

 

[janetupnorth]

Thanks guys - over the last 1/2 hour, I realized my struggle isn't so much with PC...it is other things...bills being overwhelming, house a mess because I'm always elsewhere...kids not picking up... I can do all the business stuff, it is the little things that become big...I thrive on chaos, but not messes.

My hubby isn't available to chat but I just sent him a long e-mail detailing where I need some help. (He works 60-70 hours a week minimum in the summer at camp). I think last time we figured, with the support coming in, he makes about $4-$4.50 per hour. We ALWAYS make it first because God provides and gave me talents to work hard to pay the bills DH doesn't have the talent in finances and chooses to give that to me to do...so, add to my list...finance manager, homemaker (laundry, dishes, meals, etc.), all the shopping, all the appointments for kids and myself, etc., and that's what has got me overwhelmed. PC is actually my "break" from it all and hopefully my means to stop stressing at times to pay the bills...

I also feel like whenever my weekly schedule changes (where I need to do something, whether it be a show or whatever), even though I asked ahead of time, I've just inconvenienced him to pick up the kids or have to get a sitter and run the kids somewhere to do it (which I avoid at all costs - I like to spend time with the kids), yet when he has an extra meeting, he just runs off to it. (I bet a lot of mom's can sympathize here).

Well, anyway, I blurted out all my current feelings to him...he's a great guy and I'm sure he'll help make some changes. I just have to give him time to read, think, and react. (But I'll take any prayers you want to give me today!) We won't get to chat until later because my brother and his family arrive in a few hours for the entire weekend.

 

[quiverfull7]

I just have to give him time to read, think, and react. (But I'll take any prayers you want to give me today!) We won't get to chat until later because my brother and his family arrive in a few hours for the entire weekend.[/QUOTE]

I pray that he will "respond" and not react... been there done that!

I get lost in doing too much business... yikes... too much CS lots of days??? yes... and let things go around the house which is not good. Today I've taken EVERYTHING that was not where it should be in the living room, piled it in the center of the room and cleared out! It feels SO good! I really do desire to work smarter, not harder, I desire to build a team so they can be blessed like I have been ... I want to help others succeed... I want to lessen my husbands load of working extra to cover bills ... I believe that my 'dreams' , the desires of my heart... have been laid before God and that He knows my heart... lay it all before Him and as hard as it is... leave it there... and keep on keeping on with all the work ... I truly believe He will give us our desires if we are more concerned about Him than us ... does that make sense? I believe He will help me see and hear those whom He has chosen to do PC ... just as He led me in but He does need me to show them and ask them ... I pray for you that He sends you the help at home that you need... Today, I bribed my 11 year old into a big job by promising her a new pair of flip flops that she needs desperately anyway... but told her she had to keep a VERY positive attitude all through the work... she's done great... and I had to get her the flops anyway so we both win!!!!!!!!!!!! For myself, I find that I feel overwhelmed the most when I have left too many family/household thing undone ... which leads me to sign off here... I'll be praying for as I finish deleting my LR pile! Be blessed ...

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Thanks guys - over the last 1/2 hour, I realized my struggle isn't so much with PC...it is other things...bills being overwhelming, house a mess because I'm always elsewhere...kids not picking up... I can do all the business stuff, it is the little things that become big...I thrive on chaos, but not messes.

My hubby isn't available to chat but I just sent him a long e-mail detailing where I need some help. (He works 60-70 hours a week minimum in the summer at camp). I think last time we figured, with the support coming in, he makes about $4-$4.50 per hour. We ALWAYS make it first because God provides and gave me talents to work hard to pay the bills DH doesn't have the talent in finances and chooses to give that to me to do...so, add to my list...finance manager, homemaker (laundry, dishes, meals, etc.), all the shopping, all the appointments for kids and myself, etc., and that's what has got me overwhelmed. PC is actually my "break" from it all and hopefully my means to stop stressing at times to pay the bills...

I also feel like whenever my weekly schedule changes (where I need to do something, whether it be a show or whatever), even though I asked ahead of time, I've just inconvenienced him to pick up the kids or have to get a sitter and run the kids somewhere to do it (which I avoid at all costs - I like to spend time with the kids), yet when he has an extra meeting, he just runs off to it. (I bet a lot of mom's can sympathize here).

Well, anyway, I blurted out all my current feelings to him...he's a great guy and I'm sure he'll help make some changes. I just have to give him time to read, think, and react. (But I'll take any prayers you want to give me today!) We won't get to chat until later because my brother and his family arrive in a few hours for the entire weekend.

Oh Janet! I can so relate to that! Rick is a great husband and dad....but he is also a man....and it just seems that the child care issue, no matter what, falls on Mom! When he wants to be gone for 3 days - he just packs his stuff and leaves...no worries! When I want to be gone (Nat. Conf.) I spend HOURS arranging for child care, and figuring out food, etc.......
On show days - I have to call and remind him that he needs to be home by a certain time....because I need to leave. He takes off for Car Shows most weekends during the summer, and doesn't think to ask if I need help w/ DS because I have a show.
Although - he is getting better, I have to admit. Some of it is that I just assume he understands what I need - and I should know better. Not only is he not a mind reader, he also doesn't get subtle hints, body language, or inferences.......I have to spell it out for him! Once I do that (actually, after I do it several times) he gets the message and is willing to make changes.

I'll be praying that your conversation goes well!

 

[Shawnna]

It is hard to wear that many hats. I am glad you can talk to your husband about it. It gets very overwhelming at times. I actually quit my full time job at the end of December. I am just as busy as I was and it is hard to get things done. My PC stuff always takes a back seat to everything else. I guess that is why I stay a hobby consultant. I do want to do more, but I have to find the time. Like you, I will need to keep it in my prayers. God will help us if we give it to him...and that is hard to do sometimes.

And, I am with you on the husband thing. But, I think most men are like that. They work their job...and do a wonderful job supporting our family...but their job ends at a specific time where our job is 24 hours every day. That old saying, "A man works from dawn to setting sun, but a woman's work is never done" is still true today. I think it is just because God made us differently. And, I think mom's don't help much because most raise their boys to work hard and then after work mom waits on them hand and foot, while the girls are expected to do housework from early age. I have worked hard on changing that at my house. When my husband and I got married...21 years ago...we both worked and he expected a hot lunch and of course a big meal at supper time as well as a clean house and clean clothes. It took me a long time to break the habits his mom taught him. He now helps more...he actually does his own laundry and irons all of the clothes. I have taught my oldest son to clean, and do his own laundry. He doesn't know how to cook if it can't be fixed in the microwave, but we are working on that too. And, I have started teaching my youngest son as well. And, after I have said all of this I have to admit that my daughter is the hardest one to teach. It is a daily struggle to get her to do dishes, clean her room etc.

 

[raebates]

Janet, I don't have any additional advice. You've gotten some good stuff already. What I will do is pray that God will make His will for you very clear and show you exactly how He would have you do all that He wants you to do. (I know that I need the big, flashing, neon sign.)

 

[Momma23boys]

Janet,
Have you ever read For Women Only by Shaunti Feldman? I got it at a Family Life conference (A Weekend to Remember). It is amazing! It stems from a huge national survey of men~ it explain WHY they do the things they do.. I wish I could quote some of the fantastic things that are in the book.. but I lent it out to my SIL and can't get it back! It basically has to do with the inherent differences in us (designed by God) and while it won't make it okay that hubby works 60+ hours a week (been there) it does explain their inner-driven need to do so.. Very interesting and the men's book.. Called For Men Only is great too!! (sometimes I read it just to get a boost of understanding when I am feeling low..)

I also recommend Love and Respect by Dr. Gary Emerson.. check out Family Life's website.. they have some great resources there.. also the (I'll stop soon) Five Love Languages! There is one for kids too that I need to read.
You and your family will be in my prayers while you are going through this transition in your lives.
Peace be with you,
Karen

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Janet,
Have you ever read For Women Only by Shaunti Feldman? I got it at a Family Life conference (A Weekend to Remember). It is amazing! It stems from a huge national survey of men~ it explain WHY they do the things they do.. I wish I could quote some of the fantastic things that are in the book.. but I lent it out to my SIL and can't get it back! It basically has to do with the inherent differences in us (designed by God) and while it won't make it okay that hubby works 60+ hours a week (been there) it does explain their inner-driven need to do so.. Very interesting and the men's book.. Called For Men Only is great too!! (sometimes I read it just to get a boost of understanding when I am feeling low..)

I also recommend Love and Respect by Dr. Gary Emerson.. check out Family Life's website.. they have some great resources there.. also the (I'll stop soon) Five Love Languages! There is one for kids too that I need to read.
You and your family will be in my prayers while you are going through this transition in your lives.
Peace be with you,
Karen

Those are all good books! I've been thinking I need to get the Love Languages for Children book.......the Mom's Group I belong to went throught the Five Love Languages as a study a couple years ago....very good! Now if I could just get DH to read it!

On another Hijacking note - Is your family doing Family Life's "Turn Off the TV in August" campaign? I'm trying to talk DH into doing it, but he is still hesitant! I'd LOVE to just turn off the TV for a month.....and besides, LOST won't be on again until FEB. (Hee Hee)

 

[Momma23boys]

LOL.. we actually don't (whispering...) have cable....shhhhhh!!!! I turned it off years ago because my hubby (bless him) and my oldest turn into zombies (the whole mouth open, blank stare) when ANY program comes on!! (we're talking infomercials too!!) I got sick of it and .. there we are. I am a freak to most people because of it, but hey... never minded being different!
I miss The Food Network the most.. but I figure I can get it all online anyways..

A little more hijacking on my part.. (whispering) Have you ever been to a A Weekend to Remember???

 

[janetupnorth]

Janet,
Have you ever read For Women Only by Shaunti Feldman? I got it at a Family Life conference (A Weekend to Remember). It is amazing! It stems from a huge national survey of men~ it explain WHY they do the things they do.. I wish I could quote some of the fantastic things that are in the book.. but I lent it out to my SIL and can't get it back! It basically has to do with the inherent differences in us (designed by God) and while it won't make it okay that hubby works 60+ hours a week (been there) it does explain their inner-driven need to do so.. Very interesting and the men's book.. Called For Men Only is great too!! (sometimes I read it just to get a boost of understanding when I am feeling low..)

Yes, we have both of them. We use them at our Women's Retreats at camp.

DH and I had a good talk this weekend...and he did AWESOME picking up the pace. Just the couple little things he addressed made all the difference for me. We truly never have any "big" fights - ever. We are very different people, yet very similar. DH always jokes that I'm more "guy" than "girl" - emotionally, etc. I had the feelings I described in the thread, but most of the time I get the guy attitude. I can Christmas shop for an entire family in under 1/2 hour, I just do without having to sort through feelings...I get when he doesn't care about someone's opinion, etc... Also, it helps that he doesn't have that "need to provide" or work - for those who haven't read the books, he isn't lazy it is that his male ego isn't dependent on the NEED to provide for his family...he can still be fully in his role in the family as a man and allow me to provide more income than him.

I also recommend Love and Respect by Dr. Gary Emerson.. check out Family Life's website.. they have some great resources there.. also the (I'll stop soon) Five Love Languages! There is one for kids too that I need to read.
You and your family will be in my prayers while you are going through this transition in your lives.
Peace be with you,
Karen

We have the 5 Love Languages and the ones for kids. Yes, they all touch on the issues. I have Love and Respect but have only read about 1/2 of it.

We do a lot of "Family Time" activities with our kids.

We just needed a moment to step back and refocus. I think we managed to do it pretty quick. DH always verbalized his support of me doing PC which helps me be at ease with it being what I'm "supposed" to be doing.

 

[janetupnorth]

A little more hijacking on my part.. (whispering) Have you ever been to a A Weekend to Remember???

ALL of my friends have - it has never worked schedule-wise for us - someday! They all seem to be great! Where did you go to one? (I realized you were asking Becky, but I'm answering too. )

Becky - The kids Love Languages book is good too! Check out CBD - I get the best deal there usually. I try to support the local Christian bookstores when I can though.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

ALL of my friends have - it has never worked schedule-wise for us - someday! They all seem to be great! Where did you go to one? (I realized you were asking Becky, but I'm answering too. )

Becky - The kids Love Languages book is good too! Check out CBD - I get the best deal there usually. I try to support the local Christian bookstores when I can though.

The schedule for going to a WTR has never worked for us either. Last one that was in this area, we had a family wedding to attend - but we keep saying we are going to make it to one!

 

[ChefBeckyD]

ALL of my friends have - it has never worked schedule-wise for us - someday! They all seem to be great! Where did you go to one? (I realized you were asking Becky, but I'm answering too. )

Becky - The kids Love Languages book is good too! Check out CBD - I get the best deal there usually. I try to support the local Christian bookstores when I can though.

Hee Hee - I find the best deals at the library across the street from our house! Then, if I like the book and think I will reference it (Like Bringing Up Boys, by Dobson) I buy it.....from Family Christian Bookstores. VERY loyal to them - I worked for them for 8 years.

 

[TwinGirlsMom]

Is your family doing Family Life's "Turn Off the TV in August" campaign? and besides, LOST won't be on again until FEB. (Hee Hee)

That's good to know! My DH and I were thinking of turning off the TV as well--we've been doing good keeping it off this summer--but the only 'obstacle' we thought of was that Lost would be starting the new season! Now continuing what we've started this summer won't be a big deal! Yea...

 

[ChefBeckyD]

That's good to know! My DH and I were thinking of turning off the TV as well--we've been doing good keeping it off this summer--but the only 'obstacle' we thought of was that Lost would be starting the new season! Now continuing what we've started this summer won't be a big deal! Yea...

Yeah - I am all for turning off the TV - as long as I don't miss LOST!

The down side is we have to wait until Feb.!........I sure hope they do a recap of season 3 before the new season starts!

 

[janetupnorth]

That's good to know! My DH and I were thinking of turning off the TV as well--we've been doing good keeping it off this summer--but the only 'obstacle' we thought of was that Lost would be starting the new season! Now continuing what we've started this summer won't be a big deal! Yea...

We were great with the TV off (at least when DH isn't home. ) until my brother came up this weekend and brought his Wii system. Then he leant it to us this week to play with since he knows we'd never get one.

I was happy to play , yet grumbling about having to yank my kids away from it. I have to say it was quite a workout though! My 3-year-old kicked my butt in tennis and my shoulder hurts today!

 

[TwinGirlsMom]

LOL.. we actually don't (whispering...) have cable....shhhhhh!!!! I am a freak to most people because of it, but hey... never minded being different! I miss The Food Network the most.. but I figure I can get it all online anyways..

A little more hijacking on my part.. (whispering) Have you ever been to a A Weekend to Remember???

How funny! Shhhh...don't tell anyone that we don't have cable either! I can relate to people thinking I'm a freak as well...I get the deer in headlights look all the time, like 'Then what do you do with yourself?' or 'You seriously can not afford cable or what?!'.
There are just sooo many other things I--and my kids--could be doing than watching TV [like reading a good book!]...and it has a way of sucking one in...[kind of like CS! Ha!] I do miss certain channels like HGTV, E!, Discovery, TLC, but I know if I had access to them the TV would be on all day.

Also, I haven't been to WTR but I've been to the one-day thing...'I Still Do'.
By the way, my DH and I will celebrate 8 years of marriage tomorrow and...I still do!

 

[TwinGirlsMom]

Yeah - I am all for turning off the TV - as long as I don't miss LOST!

Yeah, this year I am consciously going into the new fall TV season with deaf ears...not even going to try out all the new shows. Just going to stick with Lost, Prison Break and Heroes!

 

[janetupnorth]

How funny! Shhhh...don't tell anyone that we don't have cable either! I can relate to people thinking I'm a freak as well...I get the deer in headlights look all the time, like 'Then what do you do with yourself?' or 'You seriously can not afford cable or what?!'.
There are just sooo many other things I--and my kids--could be doing than watching TV [like reading a good book!]...and it has a way of sucking one in...[kind of like CS! Ha!] I do miss certain channels like HGTV, E!, Discovery, TLC, but I know if I had access to them the TV would be on all day.

Also, I haven't been to WTR but I've been to the one-day thing...'I Still Do'.
By the way, my DH and I will celebrate 8 years of marriage tomorrow and...I still do!

Neat - 8 years for us on 9-11!

 

[TwinGirlsMom]

We were great with the TV off (at least when DH isn't home. ) until my brother came up this weekend and brought his Wii system. Then he leant it to us this week to play with since he knows we'd never get one.

I was happy to play , yet grumbling about having to yank my kids away from it. I have to say it was quite a workout though! My 3-year-old kicked my butt in tennis and my shoulder hurts today!

Janet, at least you're getting some good exercise with that Wii!
I haven't tried one yet but it looks like fun!

 

[ltkacz]

I work 40+, have a 5 year old and do PCFirst, I will say, I will keep you in my prayers.

Second, yes, sometimes it's hard to work PC with another job and little one at home, so I can completely understand the flustration.

I will say first, that as I often have to remind myself, my director told me at the begining - if you work just 1 hour a day on your PC business, you will have a fabulous PC business. When you look at that - it's not much.

Second, my husband is similar to a lot of others. It's fine to do what he wants, but when I want something - it's a big ordeal. To that I tell him - get over it! I am completely responsible for our 5 year old son, the household, the bills, etc. He cooks dinner at night, and does the outside maintainence. That's about it.

Third, I would be worried too if my husband was only making $4-$4.50 an hour! And then working 60+ hours a week. You could bring home that much between 2 shows!!!!! Maybe you need to point that out to him and remind him of the potential you have for earning more money with PC.

I do hope that you find your "peace" and that things will be alright.

 

[janetupnorth]

Third, I would be worried too if my husband was only making $4-$4.50 an hour! And then working 60+ hours a week. You could bring home that much between 2 shows!!!!! Maybe you need to point that out to him and remind him of the potential you have for earning more money with PC.

I just have to clarify...the money is a stressor in everyday life, but no way would I point out to him that he makes only that and compare it to PC. I know and he knows that he is EXACTLY where God wants him to be serving, despite the lack of income. I wouldn't ask him to change that for all the money in the world.

Thanks for the prayers, we're already getting a little break in the stress and have invited the lifeguards from camp over tomorrow night to spend time with us and the kids. That'll be nice to have some "fun socializing" and playing and help break up the long summer. That'll help both of us "refocus" on work.