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Is it worth hosting shows with friends who don't take my business seriously?

In summary, this friend of mine has never shown up to any of my events, and she always asks me what's new and hot. I told her that I don't support her doing shows because she doesn't support me doing them.
NooraK
Gold Member
5,871
That's it. I'm no longer going to schedule shows with my friends (with one or two specific exceptions). I am done with being ignored and not taken seriously.

I was allowed to participate in a bazaar at work recently. In the it's only been open to non-employees because of non-solicitation policies. A friend who has hosted before told me at the bazaar that she wanted to host a show in July. She said she could only do it on a Saturday, and although my DH works on Saturdays, I agreed because she insisted that I could bring DS with me. I gave a host packet, and tried to host coach her. I couldn't reach her by phone, and I couldn't go talk to her at work because a manager in the department is a big ***** and would tell me to leave if she's not on her break (and I've got my own work to do too).

A couple of weeks ago she said that she had talked to her group of friends, and they all told her they had no money. We talked a bit about her $1000 a month eating out habit, and I suggested that we change from an ice cream social to a "magic pot" show and that I'd show her and her friends how to cook with the DCB for around $2 per serving. She said she'd talk to her friends.

The show was supposed to be torrow. I called her and left a message on Tuesday or Wednesday, asking if she still wanted to do the ice cream, or if she wanted to do the DCB, because I needed to send her a shopping list. I didn't hear back from her, and I passed her in the hall yesterday. She was in a hurry to get back to her desk, but when I asked she said she hadn't gotten my message. I called after her to check her voicemail.

This morning I still hadn't heard from her so I texted her the same question. She responded "I've talked to all of my friends and they're all going out, so they don't have time for me. I'm going to cancel."

I am so angry, but I don't know if I'm angry at her or myself. She has backed out of a show before (granted it was within a few months of her father's passing and her husband helped to talk her out of it. I never tried to push her to do somethign she wasn't ready for). If her friends are going out on Saturday, then she really didn't invite them over. She had told me that when they said they had no money, she told them not to come.

I'm just so frustrated that she doesn't see this as a business for me. I feel so disrespected to be stringed along like this. I also recently had another host cancel on me via text. I had called several times over the last few weeks, and she couldn't pick up the phone to say she can't schedule a date. And the one lonely show I have left for this month, I can't get that host to respond either.

:cry::yuck:

Ok... I'm going to go have lunch with my DH and DS now and try to forget about this. Thanks for letting me get this out.
 
I SOOO know what you mean. I have a friend who I've been friends with since grade school. She actually did do a decent show for me when I first started 6 yrs ago. I have since then had numerous events at my house, open houses, Christmas things, etc and she has NEVER come. She always tells me the same thing "If I come I know I'll spend money and I don't have it". That's cool, I don't have an issue with that. Well, about 6 mo ago she called me asking if I knew so and so consultant and when I told her I knew OF her, (she has been to a few regional training sessions in the past) my friend said "she was the one who did suzy friends show last night that I went to"... That should have been my first clue. Then about 2 mo after that, she called me AGAIN asking if I knew of "suzy consultant" who was just starting her business...I told her no and asked why. She said her neighbor was having a show and this is the person who was doing it. THEN she proceeds to ask me what's new and hot out that she should keep her eye out for to buy at the show! I was LIVID! I feel VERY unsupported by this friend of mine. I cannot believe that she will attend everyone else's things except for mine. It has been quite a sore spot for me, and I try to not let it affect my relationship w/ her, but I admit that it has. I don't talk to her as much, once in a while when I know it's her calling I won't answer because I"m afraid that I'll hear she just bought this or that at another show.

She KNOWS that I"m on track for Disney and I as you feel, I don't feel taken seriously. I've been in the biz for 6 yrs, so obviously I must be doing ok.

I just dont approach friends to help me or host shows anymore. They are the WORST hosts! I'd much rather work w/ someone who does not know me personally like that.

So, I do feel your pain! I wouldn't approach your coworker to do a show. If her friends all have the money to "go out" tomorrow night, then they obviously would have had the money to spend at her party.
 
chefsteph07 said:
I SOOO know what you mean. I have a friend who I've been friends with since grade school. She actually did do a decent show for me when I first started 6 yrs ago. I have since then had numerous events at my house, open houses, Christmas things, etc and she has NEVER come. She always tells me the same thing "If I come I know I'll spend money and I don't have it". That's cool, I don't have an issue with that. Well, about 6 mo ago she called me asking if I knew so and so consultant and when I told her I knew OF her, (she has been to a few regional training sessions in the past) my friend said "she was the one who did suzy friends show last night that I went to"... That should have been my first clue. Then about 2 mo after that, she called me AGAIN asking if I knew of "suzy consultant" who was just starting her business...I told her no and asked why. She said her neighbor was having a show and this is the person who was doing it. THEN she proceeds to ask me what's new and hot out that she should keep her eye out for to buy at the show! I was LIVID! I feel VERY unsupported by this friend of mine. I cannot believe that she will attend everyone else's things except for mine. It has been quite a sore spot for me, and I try to not let it affect my relationship w/ her, but I admit that it has. I don't talk to her as much, once in a while when I know it's her calling I won't answer because I"m afraid that I'll hear she just bought this or that at another show.

She KNOWS that I"m on track for Disney and I as you feel, I don't feel taken seriously. I've been in the biz for 6 yrs, so obviously I must be doing ok.

I just dont approach friends to help me or host shows anymore. They are the WORST hosts! I'd much rather work w/ someone who does not know me personally like that.

So, I do feel your pain! I wouldn't approach your coworker to do a show. If her friends all have the money to "go out" tomorrow night, then they obviously would have had the money to spend at her party.

That's what I was thinking.


She may have not even invited them. Who knows?

That is just one more reason why it pays to mail out the invites. It's puts the attendance more in your control...
 
My Recruit is having the same problem! The best thing for you to do is find booth space somewhere to meet "new people". If you can't find space, create one! Look for a farmers' market, a locally owned store that would let you set up out front, a Stop N Shop with several vendors in a parking lot. I even suggested to Shanda that she talk to her church about having a "Kitchen Shower" for their own Church kitchen and they can buy for themselves as well! Hang in there! I know it is frustrating! I was there this time last year! I was checking my stats last night and realized I now have $16,516.35 in Career Sales. I have been a Consultant since November 2007. Since January 2008, I have sales of $9,562.83! I have really turned my business around in the past year! Last July I had NO sales...big ZERO! Since September when I started doing booths, I have had steady bookings! Since November, I have only had one month (January/$356.51) that has not been $1,000+! March & June were both over $2,000! Do I have a secret? Nope... I just know that to book successfully, I have to get out of my "group"! Good luck! I know you can succeed!
 
I'm so sorry. Some of my friends understand that this isn't a little hobby. Many don't. That's one of the reasons it's so important for us to get away from our circle of friends and family, which I know you've done. Be thankful for the ones who get it. Pity the ones who don't. They miss out on all of the benefits.
 
It's very hard to not be supported by the people you are close to. Several years ago I was working as a school secretary and selling PC. I had a show for one of the other secretaries and we were all very good friends, we went out to dinner and movies together every weekend. Then one day I get an invitation to a bridal shower my friend is having for her soon to be daughter in law and it's a PC bridal shower. I was livid to say the least and I was sure to let them all know it. Two of them were co-hosting and the mother of the groom was very apologetic and apparently had told the other host that they should get me to do it but the other one didn't see why it would be a big deal. Needless to say none of it went over well and there were hurt feelings for quite a while.

My in-laws also treat my business the same and way and will even talk badly about the products and people who buy them in front of me.

I just don't mention my business around them or offer them products anymore. I do continue to use my products and they see how great they are but I just take it as them being the way they are.

Just make sure to step far outside that circle and make your business such a success with other hosts who do respect you that they will be begging for your attention.
 
I too know exactly what you are going through. I have decided not to ask anyone in my inner circle of friends and family. I will invite them to open houses, if they contact me to host a show, I tell them up front that I am going to treat them like every other host, and I go directly from the host coaching worksheet. When I call, I call and say, Hi this is Gwen from the Pampered Chef, do you have a few minutes to talk about your party. I always make that seperation from friend or relative to make sure that they take me seriously.

I also, make sure that I communicate what is going on in our family, so that they are completely aware of our situation and why I do PC.

On June 12th, I was laid off of my job (it was expected), I was excited to have more free time to concentrate on PC and be able to keep my 4 yr old son home. Well, the economy hit and my DH was laid off the same day. Needless to say I sent out an SOS to all my family and friends and explained the situation. NO ONE offered to host a show! So, I have been thinking outside of the box to come up with different ideas for bookings.

Sorry, I didn't mean for this to be so long, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone and I will be praying for you, your family and your business to be what you want it to be! GOOD LUCK!!
 
I am so sorry your friend jerked you around like that. I am grateful to the friends who helped me start my business, and I did ask each of them to re-host...with no pressure to say yes. About half did, and only 1 or 2 of those were as big as the original shows. I am contemplating asking them again, but I don't want it to appear that it's an expectation.

I've read through lots of "inconsiderate/AWOL/negligent host" posts and it seems to me that common elements are more than one reschedule, last minute postponements, being hard to reach, and that they made excuses (the hosts not the posts). I would take a cue from that type of behavior and either give them an out "it sounds like this may not be a good time after all" or have very low expectations. When I can't reach a host to confirm at least 2 -3 days out, I leave them a message that if I don't hear from them 24 hours before the party, I will consider it cancelled. That usually garners apologetic e-mails, so I just delete the show in P3 and make sure I do something relaxing or fun that evening...or make calls.

In the end, like Rae said, there are people who will take you seriously and people who won't.
 
:::cringe:::
I just booked a show with a friend for the 24th.
Ack.
I had no choice though - i am desperate and my July is in the toilet.
 
  • #10
LOL Carolyn - not all friends are bad guys! You'll be fine!
 
  • #11
That is so frustrating. I'm sorry to hear that. I called two of my July hosts about 5 days ago, and have not heard back from them. I'll be contacting them again once I'm back from my vacation.
 
  • #12
Noora:

You are good at this. You can do this---bless and release. When we see each other this week I'll tell you some of my funny horror stories. I am rooting for you girlfriend, and YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
 
  • #13
Ooh that is so frustrating. Although I have had mainly good experience with friends, it took some of my friends coming to OTHER friends' shows before they booked their own. I don't know if they had no faith in me or what ( ha!) but now they are major repeat customers.
I know that part sucks, but don't dwell on the negative. Continue to make those 3 contacts a day, and you will meet so many hosts who not only need you but really appreciate you and the job you do, and they are the people who will help you build a strong customer base.
 
  • #14
Host coach / Host coach / Host coach. The 3-call system works; tell your friend "I am just using the company model and would love to get your feedback on how you think it works!"
 
  • Thread starter
  • #15
Thank you all for your responses. I do have one or two friends that I will do shows for who respect my time and understand that it is a business. I'm just so frustrated this month. I mean, to tell me that they said they have no money, but then they're going out the night the party was supposed to take place.

Hopefully I'll be able to get a hold of my other host for this month soon, otherwise my July will be looking quite blank.
 

1. Why should I stop hosting shows for my friends?

Hosting shows for friends can be fun and rewarding, but it can also become overwhelming and stressful. By taking a break from hosting shows for friends, you can focus on other aspects of your business and avoid potential burnout.

2. Will stopping shows for friends negatively impact my business?

No, taking a break from hosting shows for friends will not negatively impact your business. In fact, it may give you more time and energy to focus on other areas of your business, such as recruiting or online sales.

3. Can I still sell products to my friends without hosting shows?

Absolutely! You can still sell products to your friends through individual orders or online parties. This way, you can still maintain the relationship with your friends while also managing your time and energy more effectively.

4. How can I politely decline a friend's request to host a show?

Be honest and open with your friend about your reasons for taking a break from hosting shows. You can explain that you need to focus on other aspects of your business or that you are feeling overwhelmed. Offer alternative ways for them to support your business, such as placing an individual order or attending an online party.

5. When is a good time to start hosting shows for friends again?

The answer to this question will vary for each consultant. It's important to listen to your own needs and boundaries and only start hosting shows for friends again when you feel ready and able to do so without becoming overwhelmed. You may also want to consider setting limits, such as only hosting one show per month for friends, to prevent burnout in the future.

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