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Pampered Chef: Personal Need to get out of this funk!!!

  1. rennea

    rennea Legacy Member Gold Member

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    These last couple of months I have been doing real good, as I got closer to what would have been my due date I got into a funk. Can't seem to get out and when I have a good day something happens. On what was to be my due date my girlfriend had her baby (yes I am very happy for them of course!) and last night while eating dinner the Welcome Wagon called. The woman apologized for calling and seemed really upset that she wasn't told, our baby died, she just makes notes of due date and generally calls a week after to check in. I got off the phone and couldn't even finish my dinner. DH was so upset! Now this weekend is Mother's Day. This was supposed to be my first Mom's Day and I feel silly and kind of selfish. I'm going a little loonie:cry:

    I think I need a vacation:cry:
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2009
    May 8, 2009
    #1
  2. pcchefjane

    pcchefjane Senior Member Gold Member

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    I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you are hurting. My niece had 3 miscarriages before her DD was born and 1 after. It was a terrible time for her. I can only say pray for peace and comfort from your grief. Have you gone to any support groups for mothers who have lost their children from miscarriage? Some of my friends who have gone really said it helped a lot to talk with other mothers this has happened to. I will keep you in my prayers!
     
    May 8, 2009
    #2
  3. pckellyd

    pckellyd Member Gold Member

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    big hugs! Please don't feel silly or selfish! You have every right to be sad. If there's any way for you and your DH to get away this weekend do it! At least get out and do something you find fun!
     
    May 8, 2009
    #3
  4. christinaspc

    christinaspc Veteran Member Silver Member

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    I am sorry you are having such a hard time with this I couldn't dream what you are going through hugs your way..
     
    May 8, 2009
    #4
  5. raebates

    raebates Legend Member Staff Member

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    You're grieving. It's natural. Just make sure you're eating well and getting a bit of exercise. It can help your body to deal with the chemical changes your body goes through as you grieve.
     
    May 8, 2009
    #5
  6. babywings76

    babywings76 Legend Member Gold Member

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    I feel for you greatly. Please be sure to take care of yourself and get rest. Talk with your husband and go out on a date. I know that helped me and my DH when it happened to us. Lean on him, you aren't alone. And we're here if you need us! I'm so sorry you have to go through this pain all over again.

    It's so hard when there are reminders all around. My SIL got pregnant the same time as me, and to this day every time they celebrate their daughter's birthday it hits me that my baby would've been that old, too, had we not lost her to a miscarriage.

    You just really need to let yourself grieve. Don't feel silly or embarrassed. That was a truly great loss and you need to allow yourself time. It really does take time. Don't think that you have to just forget about it. It was a child and you have to mourn that loss.

    (((Hugs)))
     
    May 8, 2009
    #6
  7. Crystal Patton

    Crystal Patton Advanced Member

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    Hang in there hon!! I lost a child too, it was very hard. My cousin's wife was due the same time I was, their daughter is turning 4. Take time to think of and grieve all the mildstones, but remember that God has a plan for you, we never really see it, though sometimes when we look back He gives us a glimps. I became pregnant with my middle son 6 months after the due date of the child I lost. He is such a joy and I wouldn't have the one I have, if I hadn't lost the one I lost. This never makes it easier, and I believe it isn't suppose to, we just try to go on and do our best with what we have.
    I'm praying for you and your DH. (((hugs)))
     
  8. BlessedWifeMommy

    BlessedWifeMommy Veteran Member

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    (((hugs))) I am so sorry you are having to deal with this and having the pain come up again. I too can relate with having a miscarriage (my first pregnancy). Let yourself grieve. God does have a plan for you.
     
  9. etteluap70PC

    etteluap70PC Legacy Member Gold Member

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    Rennea,
    First {{{{{HUG}}}} You have gotten great advice. While I have not been in your shoes I am sure it is the hardest thing you have had to endure as a woman. Everything you are feeling is natural. I hope that you find some solace durring this difficult time in your life.
     
    May 8, 2009
    #9
  10. Jess_K

    Jess_K Member

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    wow you have a lot of support here.. I'm so sorry to hear about you loss.. I think all the others are right, let yourself grieve, don't feel like you don't deserve it. You have a lot of prayers and support coming to you. ((hugs))
     
    May 8, 2009
    #10
  11. pamperedlinda

    pamperedlinda Legend Member Gold Member

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    Eat a big plate of pasta. My girlfriend swears by it. She had all 3 of her kids w/in 24 hours of eating pasta for dinner (when it was her due-time that is). You still have 2 days until mother's day too!
     
  12. stefani2

    stefani2 Veteran Member

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    ((((((HUGS)))))

    I have been thinking about you LOTS lately - so I am glad you shared what is going on - because I DEFINATELY knew SOMETHING was going on.

    Talking about 'funks' - I hear ya!
    - I would encourage you to try and make a date with your DH to do something you enjoy.
    - Make a To Do list to help organize your thoughts
    - Talk to someone (preferably neutral)
    - Do something to help you grieve (can't suggest much, since everyone grieves differently)


    I am always here if you want to vent - just message or FB me.....thinking of you!
     
    May 8, 2009
    #12
  13. rennea

    rennea Legacy Member Gold Member

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    Thanks everyone. Just having a bad day, I think I'll bake a couple of batches of chocolate chip cookies and eat them all.
     
    May 8, 2009
    #13
  14. rennea

    rennea Legacy Member Gold Member

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    Are you saying if I eat pasta I'll get pregnant??
     
    May 8, 2009
    #14
  15. pamperedlinda

    pamperedlinda Legend Member Gold Member

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    Oh no!!!!! I'm so sorry Rennea!!!!! I completely misread this (and I forgot about what happened) I feel really really really bad.....please forgive me.
     
  16. ChefBeckyD

    ChefBeckyD Legend Member Gold Member

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    Rennea,

    I'm so sorry. I don't think you are being silly, or selfish. You are grieving. Losing a child, at any time or age, is incredibly painful and difficult, and you are within the limits of sanity! Vent, cry, be grouchy, be sad, eat chocolate chip cookies, go away for a change of scenery....you do what you need to do to grieve, and to honor your baby.

    Love you - lots of (((((((HUGS!))))))) and prayers!
     
    May 8, 2009
    #16
  17. Crystal Patton

    Crystal Patton Advanced Member

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    Add ice cream and you can't go wrong!
     
  18. LeanneB.

    LeanneB. Member

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    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It can creep up on you at times even months after your loss.

    I lost my baby in January and I still have moments where I feel overwhelmed with sadness. I find that I have avoided pregnant people and honestly have not seen my MIL since Christmas because of the way that she acted after we lost the baby. She was not mean in any way, but I am just frustrated at the way that she did act. The hardest thing for me is dealing with people who just had no clue what to say.

    Take some time for yourself and DH soon. Don't feel the least bit selfish in any way. You lost a baby, a baby that meant the world to you.... Please get in touch with me if you need someone to talk to.
    Take care!
    Leanne
     
    May 8, 2009
    #18
  19. I don't post much but this really touched me. I lost a baby last summer and 2 weeks later my sister announced she was pregnant. The week of my due date I couldn't do much but mope around thinking of what should have been....when my niece was born last month I had a really hard time leading up to the actual date but now that the baby is here I can be happy for my sister.

    When everyone around you is moving on it seems kind of hard, like why have they forgotten when to you the pain is still sharp. I understand this feeling and wanted you to know that you are not alone.

    Tracy
     
    May 8, 2009
    #19
  20. Gina M

    Gina M Veteran Member Gold Member

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    Rennea,

    Hang in there - it's definitely tough when you get close to the due date. It's been almost 10 years since I had my miscarriage and I still think about it. Although I do have a great daughter (Madolyn) who was born after my miscarriage and she's 8 years old now. I can't imagine not having her in our family along with my older boys Zach & Noah. I know it was meant to be for our family but it still doesn't take away the fact that our other baby isn't here with us.

    I'll be thinking about you. Take care of yourself.
     
    May 8, 2009
    #20
  21. You have lots of support here, and I'm sure in every corner of your world as well; it is a wonderful thing to know you can share your feelings feel that support system come together. Hugs for now and I look forward to the day you share with us that you are expecting :)
     
  22. cookingwith_tara

    cookingwith_tara Advanced Member

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    We've been trying to conceive for the last 10 years. I've never been pregnant. I know the pain of wanting a child so bad it hurts. But that, itself, doesn't even compare to what you are going through. I'm praying for you and your family.

    I would like to share with you the words to a song about this situation. It has provided comfort for a lot of poeple I know going through the same thing. The name of the song is 'Jesus has a rocking chair" I"ll post it after I hear from you if it's okay or not. If not, I will completely understand. Just wanted to spread a little comfort the best way I know how.

    We're praying for!
     
  23. Jolie_Paradoxe

    Jolie_Paradoxe Senior Member Gold Member

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    What a horrible thing to endure! I'm truly sorry for the pain and loss I can only barely imagine you must be feeling. It is said that losing a child is the single most difficult and painful experience a human life can experience. So, please allow yourself to mourn, allow yourself to have bad days and know that the smile and laughters will eventually come.

    As Becky D stated, allow yourself to grieve and know it is understandable and necessary. Also, do not give yourself a timeline as everyone grieves at their pace and as needed.

    Be sure that you and your husband stay connected and lean on each other. Keep the lines of communication open, and be honest with each other when you are hurting or angry or sad or....

    If taking a trip helps, then do so....lean and reach out to your friends and family. Your loved ones want to help, but probably know that there is nothing that can be said or done to "make it better". But I bet that they would love to provide an ear, a shoulder or those chocolate chip cookies. Also, there will be days when you do not want to be around ANYONE....on those days, indulge yourself and let yourself be alone.

    I send you best wishes, lots of prayers and ask that GOD help you and your hubby during this sad period.
     
  24. rennea

    rennea Legacy Member Gold Member

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    Your right on the money!
     
    May 9, 2009
    #24
  25. candiejayne

    candiejayne Veteran Member

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    7 years ago I was in your shoes. I miscarried in march, the first mothers day wasn't too bad for me, but as the year progressed and my due date came and went I got into a funk, then the following mothers day was so hard. I don't have any advice for you, but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, for what thats worth.
     
    May 10, 2009
    #25
  26. dianevill

    dianevill Senior Member Gold Member

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    Rennea,

    You have gotten a lot of good advice here, so I just wanted to add a hug. My first pregnancy, 10 years ago, resulted in a miscarriage on Mother's Day (and 2 more miscarriages after that). Although I now have two children, every Mother's Day is still hard for me as I remember our little angels.

    Take all the time you need to grieve and mourn.

    {{{Hugs}}}
     
    May 10, 2009
    #26
  27. stefani2

    stefani2 Veteran Member

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    thinking of you today, Rennea. Hang in there! :)
     
    May 12, 2009
    #27
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