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Personal How Can I Get My Kids to Eat Healthy Food?

interesting...trying times with our son. He's VERY good at working the system. He knows there will be food soon, so he'll often just pass up what he doesn't want. We've tried every trick in the book, and he's even learned how to say no. I highly recommend the book, "Just Take a Bite." It's helped me a lot in understanding my son and his eating habits.
lesliec
1,001
I think I may have shared about this before, but it is something I am really struggling with......

My boys are adopted out of foster care. They have been with us for about 9 months and are well adjusted. When they came we really struggled b/c they would only eat junk food, and we don't eat junk food much here. We have really worked on this, and had gotten to where they would eat things like tacos, cereal, any breakfast food, fruit etc. Well at the beginning of June we all had the stomach bug. Since then I cannot get them to eat anything. Ok, I guess they are eating a little, they aren't skin and bones, but they will not eat any meals. I made Mac N Cheese for lunch and none of them touched it. Seriously MAC N CHEESE!!!!!! We go to McDonalds to try and get them to eat and they will only touch the fries or apples.
I have tried all of the Ideas and things to continue to expose them, but honestly my 5 year old has learned to work the system. He knows there will be another meal soon and will just pass up what ever he doesn't want. We try to make kid friendly meals, but I also don't cater to each ones likes and dislikes. I don't make separate meals for each person, but do offer lots of healthy choices. They are also strong willed and will go for nearly 24 hours with out eating if they don't want to. Often I can tell that they are just feeding off of one another. If one doesn't want to eat, then the rest will refuse.
This is really stressing me out and had taken the joy out of meal and family time for us.
Any Suggestions?
 
This site has some great information Picky Eaters

I also highly recommend the book "Just Take a Bite" http://www.amazon.com/dp/1932565124?tag=sensorspecia-20&camp=14573&creative=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=1932565124&adid=0WTA9EMB58WCT6WK9F5H&

Hope that helps!
 
sounds like they might be playing you a bit, maybe try making stuff you know they do like. If they don't eat, then cover it up and tell them they will get it for the next meal. Eventually they will eat when they are hungry.
 
ChefLoriG said:
sounds like they might be playing you a bit, maybe try making stuff you know they do like. If they don't eat, then cover it up and tell them they will get it for the next meal. Eventually they will eat when they are hungry.

This is what I was thinking too. Especially because it sounds like they haven't had much stability in their lives before your family - they are probably pushing boundaries, and seeing where the line is drawn. They are testing you, Mom! DON'T give in and feed them the junk food they were used to eating - you know that's not what they need! This is one of those times when it hurts to be the Mom, but I guarantee they won't starve themselves to death. Eventually they'll eat! Stay Strong! ((((HUGS!))))

(read Green Eggs and Ham every night! :))
 
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  • #5
no, i'm definitely not the mom to give in (remember, I know they can go 24 hrs w/o eating). it has just become so much of a struggle that i am wondering if it is even worth it. last night it took 45 minutes for each of them to choke down1/2 cup of spaghetti, and the only reason they ate it was that my mom hand fed each one of them.
we have kept the oldest from sunday school the past two weeks b/c he wouldn't eat breakfast and we knew he was holding out to play the i'm so hungry routine on the snack lady at church.
the whole thing is taking so much joy from us. DH and i were both raised in very strict homes, and we know how to stand our ground. i love cooking, but honestly i despise it now. i am a great cook (and have wonderful tools to cook with now), but it isn't any fun when all you hear is gagging noises when your kids are trying to gag it down.
 
I think you are just going to go through a time where cooking and eating just won't be fun...but I promise one day again it will be!

We have a lot of extremely picky eaters in our extended family, and I've watched them be catered to for most of my life. When my son was born, I determined that he wasn't going to be a picky eater. For his health, for his social integration, and just for good table manners.

We've had some very frustrating and difficult meal times at our house,and times when the little guy and I were both in tears, and many times when he left the table without eating anything. but I can say that now, at the age of 6, he is a very good eater. There are some things that I know he doesn't like, so he doesn't have to eat those - onions, and peppers especially(although he eats them when he doesn't know they're there!)

Tonight for dinner, he ate grilled chicken, sweet potato fries, pineapple slices, and wonder of wonders - a small spinach salad w/ poppy seed dressing! (his first green salad!) It's been a journey!

You are starting out with a disadvantage, because they came to you with lots of bad habits, I'm sure. It took them years to develop those habits, it's going to take some time to build new habits - but I totally believe that you can do it!
 
Leslie, how old are these two?
 
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  • #8
Thank you all.
Becky, you are encouraging.
Dave, they are 2, 3, and 5. The 2 year old loves veggies, but when the oldest gets started on his thing, he will follow suit. The 3 yo definitely has some likes and dislikes that I can see, but he too follows his big brother. The 5 yo is the one who drives me crazy with it most. He won't try new things, and has even gotten in the habbit of making himself throw up at times. I think I curbed that though. Last time he did it, I convinced him he was sick and only allowed him to eat soup and toast for the next 24hrs. He hates soup and hasn't tried that again.
He randomly decides he doesn't like things. One day he loves hot dogs, the next day he won't touch them..... it is just a game, but it affects the others. I honestly don't think I would care as much if they didn't all feed off of each other.
 
Leslie, my daughter went through something similar when she was about that age. Gagged at almost every meal (and, yes, threw up a little, too). I think she really did believe that she hated the food, but it was partly also a power play. Eventually, she realized it was her father and I who have the power, and now (she's 15, but this has been true for several years), she not only eats very well, but is willing to at least try something new . . . so, when she says she doesn't like something, I know I can believe her.

For all of my childhood I hated mushrooms. Couldn't stand them, wouldn't eat them. At some point in my early 20's, I realized they're good! I love them now - all kinds, in just about any form, including raw. I think the reason I 'hated' them as a kid was because my older sister doesn't like them, and I emulated her. What you're going through with the kids is definitely partly because of their years in foster care, but also partly because it's natural for the age. Probably has to do with establishing an identity of their own, separate from yours (oh, Mom likes mushrooms? well, then, I don't).

Get the 5 year-old on your side. Tell him his brothers look up to him, so you need him to help you get them to eat. He has to taste at least one bite of anything put in front of him. If he doesn't like it, instead of saying so, he should say he's not sure if he likes it or not, then ask his brothers what they think. When they decide, on their own, that they do or do not like it, he can say something like "well, maybe I'll taste it again after I finish the rest of my food." His reward for helping could be that he doesn't have to eat what he doesn't like. He's not allowed, though, to say anything negative about anything.

This way, he has perceived power, but his brothers are making up their own minds about what food they like.
 
  • #10
Great idea Sarah. How about getting them involved in whatever aspect of mean preperation they can participate in? Sometimes that makes them feel more connected to the food that is being served. I realized that they are still young for a lot of cooking tasks, but there are still little things they can do.
 
  • #11
my3angels said:
Great idea Sarah. How about getting them involved in whatever aspect of mean preperation they can participate in? Sometimes that makes them feel more connected to the food that is being served. I realized that they are still young for a lot of cooking tasks, but there are still little things they can do.

That's what I was going to suggest too...let them take ownership of the meal! What should we have for lunch today...grill cheese or chicken nuggets? Ok, now who's going to help me? I found raising my three that anything I could make a game out of ...was a success! How about some kind of chart on the frig with the meals for the week. Even little things ...my children had jobs at a very young age, they thought it was fun!!!
 
  • #12
What worked for us is to not say anything negative about food. My son was picky and my daughter was not. She ate anything that was put in front of her, whatever. My son, we had a time when we fed him with only 2-3 kinds of food, and that took him hours to eat too. When my daughter turned about 1 yo she rapidly converted from breast milk exclusively to grilled steak in about 4 months. I noticed that anytime my son said something "bad" about food she did not eat it. I asked him not to say negative things about food, or anything like "i do not like this or that!" and it worked. The most interesting thing was that since he started to eat new things also, he's giving us positive comments about the dinner we just had. But it took several years!!!. Now my daughter is 4 yo and my son likes almost everything but potato. Even though he will eat some form occassionally. Oh he hates mushrooms, my DD loves them.

I hope it help a little. My situation was never as complex as yours. I know it will be better some day, and it maybe a while but dinner will be fun again. Keep up the great work and don't give up on healhy choices.
 
  • #13
All my kids went through this phase. And I'm going through it with my 2 youngest ones right now. It is so frustrating. But I hold out hope when I see how my 2 older ones are now. They are 10 and 8. They will eat every dinner I make now. They might not love it, but they will at least eat a decent amount of it. But when they were younger (and like my 2 younger ones right now-4 and 2), they were terrible. I'd cry almost every night. Here I'd make a nice dinner and they wouldn't eat it. I even tried making more "kid friendly" meals and they still wouldn't eat it. The urging, begging, pleading, demanding, yelling, punishing cycles were terrible. They all were amazing eaters when they first starting eating solid foods. They hit 2 and it's like a switch goes off. They turn up their nose at everything. My 4 year old right now has only a few things that he will eat for dinner: chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes, pasta, meatballs, mashed potato soup. I can't sneak anything in there either or he won't eat it. He will go to bed hungry and hold out. After 4 days of not eating dinner (he'd eat a great breakfast and pretty good lunch though), we give up and just make him his stinkin' chicken nuggets. :yuck:We've tried all the methods. I ended up deciding I'm not going to bully them about it. I'm making a meal that I like and isn't totally bizarre. I will not bow down and cater to them and make all sorts of different things for them. With my 4 year old, I will let him eat a bowl of cereal if he doesn't like my dinner...but he can't just say he doesn't like it. He has to at least eat 1 good size bite first. Then he can eat a healthy cereal. But he can't have dessert. He's big on dessert and he's starting to realize the consequence of not eating dinner. :DHe'll get past this phase. When he's older there will be no more bargaining. And like I said, my 8 year old and 10 year old are great eaters now. They have been for a couple years, too. So I know I'm not totally doing a bad job. ;)Good luck figuring out what to do. Just remember that each child is different. Offer a variety of things at each meal and try to get them involved. What works for one person might not work for you. They are pretty young, so just remember that food issues are very normal. Do what you can to get through it and try to keep family time around the table as positive as you can. Eventually they will learn and try things. Just try not to give up and only make them what they like. It takes several exposures to a food before a child will be willing to try it, eat it, and actually like it. :)
 
  • #14
my3angels said:
Great idea Sarah. How about getting them involved in whatever aspect of mean preperation they can participate in? Sometimes that makes them feel more connected to the food that is being served. I realized that they are still young for a lot of cooking tasks, but there are still little things they can do.

My exact thought. My children when they have helped prepare dinner, are so proud of what they did, they eat it.
 
  • #15
I just have to add that I remember when I was growing up and we would go to my dad's family for holidays. It was an unwritten rule that if you didn't like anything, you didn't have to try it but you also didn't have to say anything about it. Just pass it by. Even as an adult, I do the same thing. It always embarasses the crap out of me when we got to my inlaws and my MIL makes something I don't like, I always pass it up but DH will make some kind of mention that I don't like it!
 
  • #16
lesliec said:
Thank you all.
Becky, you are encouraging.
Dave, they are 2, 3, and 5. The 2 year old loves veggies, but when the oldest gets started on his thing, he will follow suit. The 3 yo definitely has some likes and dislikes that I can see, but he too follows his big brother. The 5 yo is the one who drives me crazy with it most. He won't try new things, and has even gotten in the habbit of making himself throw up at times. I think I curbed that though. Last time he did it, I convinced him he was sick and only allowed him to eat soup and toast for the next 24hrs. He hates soup and hasn't tried that again.
He randomly decides he doesn't like things. One day he loves hot dogs, the next day he won't touch them..... it is just a game, but it affects the others. I honestly don't think I would care as much if they didn't all feed off of each other.

That sounds JUST like how my son was! He used to make himself gag and throw up at every meal. I KNEW he was doing it on purpose...so we just started keeping the garbage can next to his place at the table, and I told him if he was going to throw up to do it in there. He really didn't like having to sit next to the garbage can, and the throwing up ended quite soon. :D I wasn't mean about it - just matter of fact about it.

He also would randomly decide he didn't like things - one day he would love it, and the next day he would hate it. We just waited until the next day when he would love it again. I think I read somewhere that kids often have to try a new food something like 10-12 times before actually accepting it.
cindylpal said:
That's what I was going to suggest too...let them take ownership of the meal! What should we have for lunch today...grill cheese or chicken nuggets? Ok, now who's going to help me? I found raising my three that anything I could make a game out of ...was a success! How about some kind of chart on the frig with the meals for the week. Even little things ...my children had jobs at a very young age, they thought it was fun!!!

This helps! Since he was 3, he has helped choose what we grow in our garden, and has "helped" me in the garden (he actually is a help now!) and then he helps wash veggies, and he absolutely LOVES using the Salad Spinner for drying all veggies and fruit - that's his job! I have him use the meat tenderizer when appropriate, and he also uses it to crush cereals for breading. He gets to help with breading chicken for our special baked chicken strips, and helps set the table. I will often give him the choice of what vegetables to have (should we have green beans, or should we have sugar snap peas?). He hasn't wanted to have salad, and I recognize that there are texture issues, etc with that, so when he actually suggested that he may like to try a spinach salad, I just very low key said "okay, Mom will make you one too"...it was a complete shock to me!

Zsu said:
What worked for us is to not say anything negative about food. My son was picky and my daughter was not. She ate anything that was put in front of her, whatever. My son, we had a time when we fed him with only 2-3 kinds of food, and that took him hours to eat too. When my daughter turned about 1 yo she rapidly converted from breast milk exclusively to grilled steak in about 4 months. I noticed that anytime my son said something "bad" about food she did not eat it. I asked him not to say negative things about food, or anything like "i do not like this or that!" and it worked. The most interesting thing was that since he started to eat new things also, he's giving us positive comments about the dinner we just had. But it took several years!!!. Now my daughter is 4 yo and my son likes almost everything but potato. Even though he will eat some form occassionally. Oh he hates mushrooms, my DD loves them.

I hope it help a little. My situation was never as complex as yours. I know it will be better some day, and it maybe a while but dinner will be fun again. Keep up the great work and don't give up on healhy choices.



YES! We have a "no complaining" rule at our house. It's okay to say you don't want any more bites after you've tried something, but you CANNOT come to the table whining and complaining about dinner. We do "try bites" every food needs to be tried, and in order to do that, you need to take 2 bites. At every meal. That's how we've introduced a lot of new foods to him. He'll take 2 bites, and then decide if he can eat more. For the most part, after several meals of doing that, he'll end up just eating it w/o needing the 2 bite rule.


My son doesn't like Potato either! When we are at a restaurant, we have to always ask if he can have a vegetable or a fruit cup in place of the potato on the kids menus - he doesn't like fries, hash browns, roasted, and will only eat mashed if its mostly gravy!
 
  • #17
ChefBeckyD said:
That sounds JUST like how my son was! He used to make himself gag and throw up at every meal. I KNEW he was doing it on purpose...so we just started keeping the garbage can next to his place at the table, and I told him if he was going to throw up to do it in there. He really didn't like having to sit next to the garbage can, and the throwing up ended quite soon. :D I wasn't mean about it - just matter of fact about it.

He also would randomly decide he didn't like things - one day he would love it, and the next day he would hate it. We just waited until the next day when he would love it again. I think I read somewhere that kids often have to try a new food something like 10-12 times before actually accepting it.


This helps! Since he was 3, he has helped choose what we grow in our garden, and has "helped" me in the garden (he actually is a help now!) and then he helps wash veggies, and he absolutely LOVES using the Salad Spinner for drying all veggies and fruit - that's his job! I have him use the meat tenderizer when appropriate, and he also uses it to crush cereals for breading. He gets to help with breading chicken for our special baked chicken strips, and helps set the table. I will often give him the choice of what vegetables to have (should we have green beans, or should we have sugar snap peas?). He hasn't wanted to have salad, and I recognize that there are texture issues, etc with that, so when he actually suggested that he may like to try a spinach salad, I just very low key said "okay, Mom will make you one too"...it was a complete shock to me!





YES! We have a "no complaining" rule at our house. It's okay to say you don't want any more bites after you've tried something, but you CANNOT come to the table whining and complaining about dinner. We do "try bites" every food needs to be tried, and in order to do that, you need to take 2 bites. At every meal. That's how we've introduced a lot of new foods to him. He'll take 2 bites, and then decide if he can eat more. For the most part, after several meals of doing that, he'll end up just eating it w/o needing the 2 bite rule.


My son doesn't like Potato either! When we are at a restaurant, we have to always ask if he can have a vegetable or a fruit cup in place of the potato on the kids menus - he doesn't like fries, hash browns, roasted, and will only eat mashed if its mostly gravy!

Those are my favorite kinds of taters!

Oh yah and I'm really bad at bribing younger kids (don't have any of my own so I can do that). My little brother is 12 and has always said he hates certain foods (peanut butter, broccoli, etc). When ever he says it I offer him a quarter to try it! More than likely once he actually eats it, he will say "oh I do like that!". Also more than likely I DON'T have a quarter on me! We both win!!
 
  • #18
My wise older sister had a great tactic but you can only use it every once in a while or they will be on to you. It worked GREAT with our kids. What you do is put a very SMALL portion ... like two or three bites... in front of them and then you tell them that this is ALL that they may have at this meal, whether they like it or not, that's it. They have to eat what is there but they MAY NOT have any more. It's pretty amazing how they will eat it and then beg for more but hold your ground. They cannot have that food again until the next time you serve it. And don't serve it for the next meal either. Make them wait. They won't catch on for a while that you are playing the game on them in reverse! :) It had worked wonders for my sister and for us.
 
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  • #19
Thank you all for all of the advice. We have tried most of the things that have been suggested, but will keep trying.
Diane, I like the idea of only giving them a couple bites and telling them they can't have more. That would definitely cut down on the waste here. I think I am just going to go back to just cooking portions for DH and I plus a little bit. When I cook, I cook like I am feeding three kids and the food is going to waste.
I am kinda worried b/c the oldest will be in school soon and I have a feeling he is going to starve all day. He takes forever to eat, so will probably miss breakfast (unless I get him up at 5am), and if can't pick up the pace, he will miss lunch too.
Thanks for the advice and encouragement. At least I know I am not the only one with these struggles.
 
  • #20
lesliec said:
Thank you all for all of the advice. We have tried most of the things that have been suggested, but will keep trying.
Diane, I like the idea of only giving them a couple bites and telling them they can't have more. That would definitely cut down on the waste here. I think I am just going to go back to just cooking portions for DH and I plus a little bit. When I cook, I cook like I am feeding three kids and the food is going to waste.
I am kinda worried b/c the oldest will be in school soon and I have a feeling he is going to starve all day. He takes forever to eat, so will probably miss breakfast (unless I get him up at 5am), and if can't pick up the pace, he will miss lunch too.
Thanks for the advice and encouragement. At least I know I am not the only one with these struggles.



My son doesn't like to eat breakfast until 10am...and he is also a very slow eater. I found that easy things in the morning were best for him. I will let him have a piece of cinnamon sugar toast (he LOVES that) and a glass of juice or milk. OR he loves Kids Clif Bars (Z-Bars)- they are an all natural granola bar that are high in protein. His favorites are the Chocolate Brownie and the Blueberry. I was able to buy them individually at the local health food store, and try them out on him to find the ones he likes, now I buy the boxes of them (cheaper!) Before we found out about his myriad of food sensitivities, I would let him eat a cheese stick and a glass of juice.

I was worried about lunch at school too - he was in 1/2 day K this past year but this year he will be going all day. He would much rather talk than eat, he's a Slooooowwww eater, and he'll only have 20 min. for lunch. Well, this week he has had all day Day Camp, and I've had to pack a lunch for him every day. Amazingingly, he has come home with most of his lunch eaten every day! Bits of sandwich, and a few grapes have come back home with him, but at least he's eating something! I've been so relieved. I really thought I was going to have to go to school every day to make him eat his lunch!:rolleyes:
 
  • #21
Leslie;
I have very similar advise as all the rest....don't give up:) There are times when my 4 yo says, "I don't like this" before he has tried it. Our rule......if it is completely new he has to have 3 bites before he can say, "this is not my favourite". But that does not excuse him from eating it.....he has to eat a decent amount, but because it is the first time having it and he's not fond of it, I'll let the "need to finish your plate" rule go by the wayside. Any other time I make something that I know is not his favourite (chicken pot pie, for example), I don't give him a lot, but give him extra of something else I am serving with it....I always make sure the rest of the meal is something I know he really enjoys.

In our house, neither my husband nor I say, "I don't like (insert food name)". The phrase is, "It's not my favourite."

My theory - I am a wife & mother....not a short order cook.

When DS was about 3 that he sometimes would not eat meals I knew he liked...ie...pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans. So, when he wouldn't eat his supper (and he didn't sit at the table for hours, either....30 minutes after his dad & I were done was the limit). I would simply wrap it up and tell him supper time was over. For bed time snack, instead of getting his favourite, toast w/p.b., he got his supper back, heated of course. If he refused to eat it again, I would wrap it up once again and tell him bedtime snack is over and we would carry on with our bedtime routine. Guess what he got for lunch the next day? - Yep, supper from the night before. I couldn't bring myself to give him pork for b'fast:) Each time I unwrapped the plate I told him, "This is your supper from earlier. We can't waste food and it is important you understand it is polite & respectful to eat what is served to you."

I only had to do this 2x in the span of one month and since then (over a year now), it happens occasionally, but the untouched plate only gets unwrapped once - at bedtime snack. It hasn't been carried over to the next day in over a year.

I have a couple of friends who have picky eaters. They complain about making various meals, yet they refuse to change their ways.......if the child doesn't eat supper and later asks for a snack or even a treat, it is given to them. The snack would be something they liked. My method may not be the answer for all, but it worked for us. We don't have drama at suppertime, it's a happy time for all of us to sit and enjoy good food and talk about our day.

HTH
 
  • #22
If your schools are like the ones my kids go to, they cannnot talk the fist 15 mins of lunch, the last 5 they can, At 1st I thought it was crazy but thinking about it I dont think my DD would eat lunch. She talks to much. This thread has also given me some ideas for my picky eaters
 

1. Why won't my kids eat certain foods?

There could be several reasons why your kids are refusing to eat certain foods. It could be due to their taste preferences, texture aversions, or even associations with negative past experiences. Additionally, children's taste buds are still developing, so they may not like certain flavors at first but may grow to enjoy them over time.

2. How can I get my kids to try new foods?

One strategy is to involve your kids in the meal planning and preparation process. Take them grocery shopping and have them pick out a new fruit or vegetable to try. Or, have them help you cook a new dish and make it fun and interactive. You can also try incorporating new foods into familiar dishes or presenting them in a creative way, like making smiley faces with vegetables on their plate.

3. What if my child is a picky eater?

It's important to remember that picky eating is a common phase that many children go through. It's important to offer a variety of healthy options and not force your child to eat anything they don't want to. Instead, continue to offer new foods and be patient. It may take several times of seeing a food before a child is willing to try it.

4. How can I make mealtime more enjoyable for my kids?

Creating a positive and relaxed atmosphere during mealtime can help encourage your kids to eat. Avoid pressuring them to finish everything on their plate or making negative comments about foods they don't like. Instead, focus on having enjoyable conversations and making mealtime a fun and pleasant experience.

5. Should I be concerned if my child is a picky eater?

In most cases, picky eating is a normal part of a child's development and not a cause for concern. However, if your child is severely limiting their food intake or showing signs of nutritional deficiencies, it may be best to consult with a pediatrician or a registered dietitian to ensure they are getting the proper nutrition they need.

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