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Pampered Chef: Humor Marriage Advice--Never Tell Your Wife . . .

  1. raebates

    raebates Legend Member Staff Member

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    I shared this advice on FB, and thought it would be a good idea to share it here, too.

    Men, never tell your wife that any part of her body resembles a sharpei puppy. Seriously. No matter how cute you think sharpei puppies are, it's not a compliment.


    Here's the Whole Story (Warning: contains some personal details that may be a little TMI for some.)



    The Furry Guy and I were talking yesterday about the changes a woman's body can go through as the years pass, including the results of childbirth and yo-yoing weight. I mentioned a particular area of my body that hasn't changed in years, no matter what I've done.

    He turned to me and said, "Yeah, it's kind of like a sharpei puppy."

    During the ensuing vvveeerrrryyyyyy long pause, he assumed a deer-in-headlights expression.

    I said, "I can't believe you just said that."

    As he came toward me and enveloped me in a hug, he said, "Sharpei puppies are cute. I love sharpei puppies."

    All I could do was laugh.

    Yes, he's still living. I have assured him he will be living with this one for a long, long time. I've even barked at him a few times.

    It makes me laugh to think about it. Needless to say, I didn't marry The Furry Guy for his way with words. :rolleyes:
     
    Sep 29, 2009
    #1
  2. janetupnorth

    janetupnorth Legend Member Gold Member

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    :)

    That goes right along with right after you have your first child (minutes later mind you), don't walk up to your wife and ask...


    "Ready to have another one?"


    I calmly said, "No, maybe later." ...after pausing just long enough to watch the nurses backing away with dropped jaws and kind of chuckling to myself. They really thought I was about to lay into him. I had just gone through 2 days of intense contractions, 11 hours of pitocin with contractions doubling and tripling and 2+ hours of pushing...
     
    Sep 29, 2009
    #2
  3. raebates

    raebates Legend Member Staff Member

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    We should write a book--Things You Should NEVER Say to Your Wife.
     
    Sep 29, 2009
    #3
  4. BethCooks4U

    BethCooks4U Legend Member Gold Member

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    Because things had changed in the 9 years since I had my last son and my husband had never had a child we attended childbirth classes with my 4th child (I was 34). During the class my husband asked "How soon can we start working on the next one because menopause can set in at any time?" Another dad in the class replied "So can divorce."

    Even worse: WHILE I WAS IN LABOR WITH PITOCIN my DH asked the doctor how soon we could "start working on the next one" and the doctor replied: "It depends on if she's in a private room or a ward."
     
    Sep 29, 2009
    #3
  5. Jolie_Paradoxe

    Jolie_Paradoxe Senior Member Gold Member

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    Rae,

    That made me bust out laughing! My puppy is looking at me weirdly! I could totally picture the expression as his brain caught up to his mouth! Thanks for the chuckle....thankfully, you know he loves ya....and hence his survival. :D
     
  6. colegrovet

    colegrovet Veteran Member Gold Member

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    hmmmm mind and mouth out of sync again.....


    my wife used to tell me I suffered from CRS (Can't remember S**t)... sadly it's true..
     
    Sep 29, 2009
    #5
  7. susanr613

    susanr613 Senior Member Gold Member

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    very funny rae!
     
    Sep 30, 2009
    #6
  8. raebates

    raebates Legend Member Staff Member

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    Yeah, but also sad, since it's true.
     
    Sep 30, 2009
    #7
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