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Humor Marriage Advice--Never Tell Your Wife . . .

In summary, The Furry Guy told my wife that any part of her body resembling a sharpei puppy is not a compliment. He also said that menopause can set in at any time and that we should write a book--things you should never say to your wife.
raebates
Staff member
18,357
I shared this advice on FB, and thought it would be a good idea to share it here, too.

Men, never tell your wife that any part of her body resembles a sharpei puppy. Seriously. No matter how cute you think sharpei puppies are, it's not a compliment.


Here's the Whole Story (Warning: contains some personal details that may be a little TMI for some.)



The Furry Guy and I were talking yesterday about the changes a woman's body can go through as the years pass, including the results of childbirth and yo-yoing weight. I mentioned a particular area of my body that hasn't changed in years, no matter what I've done.

He turned to me and said, "Yeah, it's kind of like a sharpei puppy."

During the ensuing vvveeerrrryyyyyy long pause, he assumed a deer-in-headlights expression.

I said, "I can't believe you just said that."

As he came toward me and enveloped me in a hug, he said, "Sharpei puppies are cute. I love sharpei puppies."

All I could do was laugh.

Yes, he's still living. I have assured him he will be living with this one for a long, long time. I've even barked at him a few times.

It makes me laugh to think about it. Needless to say, I didn't marry The Furry Guy for his way with words. :rolleyes:
 
:)That goes right along with right after you have your first child (minutes later mind you), don't walk up to your wife and ask..."Ready to have another one?"I calmly said, "No, maybe later." ...after pausing just long enough to watch the nurses backing away with dropped jaws and kind of chuckling to myself. They really thought I was about to lay into him. I had just gone through 2 days of intense contractions, 11 hours of pitocin with contractions doubling and tripling and 2+ hours of pushing...
 
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  • #3
We should write a book--Things You Should NEVER Say to Your Wife.
 
Because things had changed in the 9 years since I had my last son and my husband had never had a child we attended childbirth classes with my 4th child (I was 34). During the class my husband asked "How soon can we start working on the next one because menopause can set in at any time?" Another dad in the class replied "So can divorce."

Even worse: WHILE I WAS IN LABOR WITH PITOCIN my DH asked the doctor how soon we could "start working on the next one" and the doctor replied: "It depends on if she's in a private room or a ward."
 
Rae,

That made me bust out laughing! My puppy is looking at me weirdly! I could totally picture the expression as his brain caught up to his mouth! Thanks for the chuckle....thankfully, you know he loves ya....and hence his survival. :D
 
hmmmm mind and mouth out of sync again.....


my wife used to tell me I suffered from CRS (Can't remember S**t)... sadly it's true..
 
very funny rae!
 
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  • #7
susanr613 said:
very funny rae!

Yeah, but also sad, since it's true.
 

1. Can you provide an example of something I should never tell my wife?

One example of something you should never tell your wife is that she is overreacting or being too emotional. This can invalidate her feelings and make her feel dismissed or unimportant.

2. Why is it important to avoid certain phrases or comments in a marriage?

Certain phrases or comments can be hurtful or damaging to the relationship. They can create feelings of resentment, insecurity, and lack of trust, which can ultimately lead to the breakdown of the marriage.

3. Is it ever okay to keep secrets from my spouse?

In a healthy marriage, honesty and open communication are key. While it's understandable to want to keep certain things private, it's important to have a level of transparency and trust with your spouse. Keeping secrets can lead to feelings of betrayal and damage the relationship.

4. I often feel like I need to be right in arguments with my spouse. Is this harmful?

Constantly needing to be right in arguments can create a power dynamic in the marriage and make your spouse feel like their opinions and feelings are not valued. It's important to approach disagreements with respect and understanding, and be willing to compromise and see things from your spouse's perspective.

5. What should I do if I've already said something hurtful to my spouse?

It's important to take responsibility for your words and apologize sincerely. Acknowledge the hurt you caused and ask for forgiveness. It's also important to make an effort to change your behavior and avoid making similar comments in the future.

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