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Should I send this reply to my AD?

In summary, my AD demotes me back to Director, and my sister consultant tells me that my AD is feeling hurt and angry because I broke off the meetings. The sister consultant also says that my AD is telling people that I kicked ___(AD) out of the meetings. I think my response is great!
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  • #51
pamperedlinda said:
Does she have monthly director meetings that you attend? Or do you both attend the same meetings with another upper level director? Is there any upcoming situation that will require the two of you to be in the same room? If you won't be able to ignore her then, you need a good comeback when she asks how your recruit is or if she asks what you arranged for your recruit. Be sure you have a good one that will let her know you don't NEED her. Hopefully one that will leave her with nothing to say.
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Monthy director's meetings?!?!?!
BAhahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!
SHE is supposed to provide monthly director meetings for her director team! BUT back when she had 3 directors, she didn't hold meetings but twice in my 3 years as a director...and now that she has only one director...well...que sera sera.
Our NED is next up the line - she holds monthly meetings (in TX) for her 1st line directors. She records them and sends out the audio. My AD has never shared that with me. Thankfully, another AD in our cluster has been kind enough to share those with me so I am at least getting SOME kind of training from my upline.
 
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  • #52
Oh - but we ARE supposed to go out to dinner - our clusters together - in Chicago. I am NOT doing it - no way no how.
Another AD in the area has invited my team to join her team for dinner and I would much rather be with them - they are kind and fun and love to share & swap business building ideas!
 
  • #53
guess that won't be an issue
 
  • #54
oops, typed too soon. Go to dinner with the other folks - maybe you all will turn-up at the same restaurant - that would be interesting!
 
  • #55
Don't forget about Exec Banquet.
 
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  • #56
  • #57
Executive Banquet: Be polite (it's in your nature) but sit away from her if you have a choice and have fun with YOUR team and other members of the cluster. She does not have to ruin things for you. You let her.

Bless and TOTALLY release! (...and don't think about the fact that she gets paid for you and your team). What goes around, comes around. Why do you think she's down to one director?

Enjoy your dinner with the other AD's group! Have fun!
 
  • #58
WOW Carolyn! I am just catching up on this.

I hate that you have such an unsupportive Director. I really do not know how you feel because I have such a great Director.

You showed amazing strength and class by not sending the email to her. Eventually her actions will come back to her and she will lose her business. From what you have written, she seems to already be going in that direction. Meanwhile, your business is growing. Hmmm...be like her and watch your business disappear; or be like Carolyn and watch your business take off. I know who I would rather be like.

Because of your AD's personality flaws, you should be very glad she does not want your new person at her meetings and trainings. She or the others on her team would only bring your person down. She does not need that at the beginning of her business.

I hope you are able to find someone great to help her!

Lisa
 
  • #59
I don't have anything new to add...but want to chime in anyway:blushing:. I agree with not giving it anymore attention. If you engage her, she will continue to lay on negative energy (or worse...ignore you), why have that in your life? :)
 
  • #60
Seems like I've said this a few times this week to others, but it is true: Success is the sweetest revenge! :chef: You are already very successful (probably more so than she) and I think it truely upsets her that you are doing so well. She should be happy that YOU are on HER team because w/o you, she wouldn't be a director and she would not have the extra $$ and perks. She should be the one groveling to you! Take a deep breath and move on.
 
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  • #61
ChefLisa said:
WOW Carolyn! I am just catching up on this.

I hate that you have such an unsupportive Director. I really do not know how you feel because I have such a great Director.

You showed amazing strength and class by not sending the email to her. Eventually her actions will come back to her and she will lose her business. From what you have written, she seems to already be going in that direction. Meanwhile, your business is growing. Hmmm...be like her and watch your business disappear; or be like Carolyn and watch your business take off. I know who I would rather be like.

Because of your AD's personality flaws, you should be very glad she does not want your new person at her meetings and trainings. She or the others on her team would only bring your person down. She does not need that at the beginning of her business.
I hope you are able to find someone great to help her!

Lisa
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What a VERY good point!!
 
  • #62
don't you feel so empowered??
 
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  • #63
pamperedlinda said:
oops, typed too soon. Go to dinner with the other folks - maybe you all will turn-up at the same restaurant - that would be interesting!
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This is a little more complicated than it appears.

We (AD and I) offered a raffle at each of our cluster meetings. Here's how it went:
$3 per ticket

each month the prize would be a moderately priced tool (trifle bowl, woven round, party sticks, etc)

Winner is drawn at end of each meeting.

Winner receives the tool PLUS whatever $ we collected goes into a ziploc bag with the winner's name on it.

When we arrive in Chicago, the $ is distributed to the winners. If you attend NC, you get the $. If you don't attend, you still got your trifle bowl, etc at the meeting.

In Chicago, the leftover $ from the team members who don't attend goes toward offsetting the cost of the cluster dinner for everyone in attendance.
Now, we did this Jan-May so far together.

Four months my girls won, one month one of her inactive girls won.

So somehow we need to divvy up the $. I say, by team - my girls' $ comes to my team and hers to hers.
What a headache. Divorce is so complicated ;)
 
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  • #64
morfia said:
don't you feel so empowered??
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Not yet...pass me some more hairspray and give me a few minutes with my electric blue eyeliner - LOL
 
  • #65
The girls who won should get their winnings.

How much 'other' money are you talking about? Is it worth the hassle?
 
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  • #66
pamperedlinda said:
The girls who won should get their winnings.

How much 'other' money are you talking about? Is it worth the hassle?
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The total kitty is $69. Thirty of it alone is the winnings for the girl on her team.
So, essentially I should give AD the $20 and be done with it. Although she also owes me a Collapsible Bowl that I provided as the prize for her girl because AD was out of town for that meeting.
 
  • #67
and maybe you need shoulder pads--and leg warmersroflmao
 
  • #68
don't forget those platform shoes...and those jeans with the zippers everywhere:eek:
 
  • #69
dannyzmom said:
The total kitty is $69. Thirty of it alone is the winnings for the girl on her team.
So, essentially I should give AD the $20 and be done with it. Although she also owes me a Collapsible Bowl that I provided as the prize for her girl because AD was out of town for that meeting.
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How many consultants do you have going to conference? How do they feel about your AD? Are they happy about the 'divorce'?

When you all have dinner do you have: #1 - seperate checks (much easier to deal with) or #2 -do you have one check and then just divide it evenly no matter what everyone orders (easy for me, but some people get pissy about that).

IMO $20 isn't that much, especially when you divide it amongst several people. Why don't you just pay for a couple of desserts and have the waiter bring lots of spoons, that way everyone can share. That's what my SED did when we had dinner together.

I'm willing to bet that your team will not be upset if this changes, they know what's happened and they are probably just as relieved as you.
 
  • #70
legacypc46 said:
don't forget those platform shoes...and those jeans with the zippers everywhere:eek:
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Make sure the jeans are so tight that you have to lay down on the bed to zipper them up! I think the jeans need to be Jordache!
 
  • #71
dannyzmom said:
The total kitty is $69. Thirty of it alone is the winnings for the girl on her team.
So, essentially I should give AD the $20 and be done with it. Although she also owes me a Collapsible Bowl that I provided as the prize for her girl because AD was out of town for that meeting.
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Hello?!?! She owes you more than $20 for the CBowl. You have the kitty? Write out where it all came from and subtract the $25 + shipping and tax for the bowl and "gift" her the $5 difference - therefore you owe her nothing. (I know you got a discount but to replace it would cost you the $20.) Tell her you are giving the kitty to the winner at conference.

Since the team earned it I would copy it to everyone involved. Tell them "I know some of you may have questions about how the prize will be given out since we aren't able to do dinner as a whole group...". Show the math and who won so far.
 
  • #72
What Beth says!
 
  • #74
Carolyn, if you need products for a raffle when you start doing your meetings...please talk to me! I have manged to collect quite a few things over my almost 8 years and have tons of great items you could get from me WAAAY cheaper! Keep your chin up girl, and when you are done with the AquaNet, can you pass it to me?
 
  • #75
dannyzmom said:
The total kitty is $69. Thirty of it alone is the winnings for the girl on her team.
So, essentially I should give AD the $20 and be done with it. Although she also owes me a Collapsible Bowl that I provided as the prize for her girl because AD was out of town for that meeting.
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$20 bucks is a small price to pay to rid yourself of the headache and stress/anxiety of dealing with her. Heck, I'd send her the $20 for ya - just send me the address.:devil::devil:
 
  • #76
Oh, I'll even dab the envelope with my Obsession perfume! Or maybe my husband has some Jovan Musk or Polo left :rolleyes:
 
  • Thread starter
  • #77
pamperedlinda said:
How many consultants do you have going to conference? How do they feel about your AD? Are they happy about the 'divorce'?

When you all have dinner do you have: #1 - seperate checks (much easier to deal with) or #2 -do you have one check and then just divide it evenly no matter what everyone orders (easy for me, but some people get pissy about that).

IMO $20 isn't that much, especially when you divide it amongst several people. Why don't you just pay for a couple of desserts and have the waiter bring lots of spoons, that way everyone can share. That's what my SED did when we had dinner together.

I'm willing to bet that your team will not be upset if this changes, they know what's happened and they are probably just as relieved as you.
Click to expand...

I have three going to NC...ons is bringing her DH. They all know AD and can't stand to be around her. One was originally a customer of AD but disliked her so much that when she decided to host a show she called HO and asked for a new consultant (and got me).

For dinner we have always done separate checks. We were figuring this year to do one check, have the kitty money go in and then divide the rest up equally. $20 would not go very far either way.
So, I should give her the $30 (altho' I want reimbursement for my bowl), and take the other $39 to put toward my teams' dinner. Ugh. I am so tired of all the back & forth crap - it is reminiscent of my divorce and gives me the ickies.
 
  • #78
dannyzmom said:
I have three going to NC...ons is bringing her DH. They all know AD and can't stand to be around her. One was originally a customer of AD but disliked her so much that when she decided to host a show she called HO and asked for a new consultant (and got me).

For dinner we have always done separate checks. We were figuring this year to do one check, have the kitty money go in and then divide the rest up equally. $20 would not go very far either way.
So, I should give her the $30 (altho' I want reimbursement for my bowl), and take the other $39 to put toward my teams' dinner. Ugh. I am so tired of all the back & forth crap - it is reminiscent of my divorce and gives me the ickies.
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Take out the cost of the bowl first - if there's anything left after that send her that with a note explaining how you did the math.
 
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  • #79
bethcooks4u said:
Take out the cost of the bowl first - if there's anything left after that send her that with a note explaining how you did the math.
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I had mentioned that to her the day i broke off meetings with her - and she got pissy. Saying consultant price and retail price are twodifferent things...and offered to give me a colander bowl set in place of the collapsable bowl I gave to her girl. I said that was OK but not sure how she would get it to me as we live 40 mins apart and I am not driving down there to get it. She said "We'll see each other in Chiacgo" - I laughed. :grumpy: and we left it at "We'll work it out"

Should I take out the price of the bowl minus my 30% cons discount and then give her the res tof her team's portion?

I am thinking as her team members that would piss me off. They have a right to that $ as they put into it. Altho' --- NONE of her meeting attendees are going to NC. HEr only team members who are going to NC are girls from out of state who have never even been involved in the raffle......
 
  • #80
Can you figure out how much HO valued the bowl for your 1099? That's probably what I'd take out.

I'm a little confused, if none of her raffle-paying consultants is going to conference what is she plannign to do with the money? Do you think she's really going to spend it on her other team members?
 
  • #81
dannyzmom said:
I had mentioned that to her the day i broke off meetings with her - and she got pissy. Saying consultant price and retail price are twodifferent things...and offered to give me a colander bowl set in place of the collapsable bowl I gave to her girl. I said that was OK but not sure how she would get it to me as we live 40 mins apart and I am not driving down there to get it. She said "We'll see each other in Chiacgo" - I laughed. :grumpy: and we left it at "We'll work it out"

Should I take out the price of the bowl minus my 30% cons discount and then give her the res tof her team's portion?

I am thinking as her team members that would piss me off. They have a right to that $ as they put into it. Altho' --- NONE of her meeting attendees are going to NC. HEr only team members who are going to NC are girls from out of state who have never even been involved in the raffle......
Click to expand...
Put in a personal order for the bowl and print off the receipt (you don't have to send it in to PC) and send that as what she owes you. If she wants to still do the trade of the colander bowl set she can mail it to you and if you don't get it by a date you choose then you'll take the cost of the bowl out of the kitty before giving her their part.

Personally, if the people who are supposed to spend the kitty have to BE AT conference you have every right to keep the whole thing and give it out as you had originally agreed.
 
  • #82
Wow, Carolyn!! I'm so sorry you're going through this with her! I, too, am just now catching up after a weekend with no internet. ARGH! Apparently, I'm a net-aholic. Anyway, I know a ton of people have already said most of what I'm going to say, but I'll say it anyway. BLESS AND RELEASE! I think you made a very good decision to not send the initial response e-mail, although it probably would've felt really nice to be able to get those feelings off your chest.

As far as the money goes, I'm not sure I understand the complexity in it's entirety seeing as I only skimmed all of the posts, but I would give her the money for her team member that won less what she's owes you for the Collapsible Bowl (your cost). Just send it to her. I wouldn't call, e-mail, or even write more than how you calculated it, just as Beth said. Then, at NC and Exec. Dinner, all you can do is be the bigger person, which we all clearly know you are, and be cordial but uninvolved. During those times, commit yourself wholly to your team and really getting closer to them. Hopefully then you won't even think about the wretched woman... or... um, your AD. Sorry... slipped. Ha! :angel:

I agree with everyone else that your consultant will be WAY better off with a different hospitality director. You owe it to her to give her the best resources possible for her to grow, and I think we've established that would NOT be your AD.

Anyway, sorry to be the bearer of duplicate information, but I felt compelled to participate...
 
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  • #83
pamperedlinda said:
Can you figure out how much HO valued the bowl for your 1099? That's probably what I'd take out.

I'm a little confused, if none of her raffle-paying consultants is going to conference what is she plannign to do with the money? Do you think she's really going to spend it on her other team members?[/QUOTE]

The original plan was that both our clusters were going to do dinner together. But given her attitude as of late, I want no part of dining with her.
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  • #84
I don't blame you Carolyn. Life is too short to deal with that crapola. I'm sure your cluster could care less about the dinner deal. You just need to figure out if you are going to keep part of the $ for compesation for the bowl or send it all to her. It really doesn't matter which one you do, she'll find a reason bitch about it anyway.
 
  • #85
pamperedlinda said:
Our HO Sales Manager is Angela Arico - not sure of the spelling though.
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Her name is spelled Angela Orrico. Just in case you still need it. I agree that your team member is better off getting hospitality from someone else. You don't want her taking anything out on your recruit.
 
  • #86
dannyzmom said:
pamperedlinda said:
Can you figure out how much HO valued the bowl for your 1099? That's probably what I'd take out.

I'm a little confused, if none of her raffle-paying consultants is going to conference what is she plannign to do with the money? Do you think she's really going to spend it on her other team members?[/QUOTE]

The original plan was that both our clusters were going to do dinner together. But given her attitude as of late, I want no part of dining with her.
Click to expand...

:devil::devil:Yah, someone would choke that night and it may not be on the food!!!:angel::angel:

Your buddies from DS and CS would be more than happy to join you and this evil one for dinner!!!:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Seriously, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Last night I had to have a very open and honest talk with one of my downline who has also become a good friend. It was so difficult, but my recruiter and a previous director taught me two valuble lessons.
1) When you are in a leadership role, tell the darn truth with feelings for the person who you are delivering the message to. (which YOU did, but your "leader" didn't)
2) If there is a problem, talk it out as adults and do your best to resolve it. We are all in this together.

For me, I have some issues of my own to work on, but I take great measures to try not to take any of it out anyone. Luckily, with the help of our ED, we have been able to work this out and stay a unified team.

Silver lining...she is teaching you how NOT to be with your team, Carolyn.
(now...let me know when you want me to help you short sheet her bed with you!!!:devil::devil::D)
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<h2>1. What is the best course of action in this situation?</h2><p>The best course of action would be to communicate openly and honestly with your AD about your concerns and come to a resolution that benefits both parties.</p><h2>2. Should I send this reply to my AD?</h2><p>It ultimately depends on your comfort level and the nature of your relationship with your AD. However, it is important to address any issues or concerns in a professional and respectful manner.</p><h2>3. Am I wrong to feel upset about this situation?</h2><p>No, your feelings are valid and it is important to address any concerns or conflicts in a productive manner. However, it is important to approach the situation with professionalism and respect for your AD.</p><h2>4. How can I handle this situation without causing further conflict?</h2><p>One possible solution could be to suggest finding a compromise, such as alternating locations for meetings or finding a way to include both teams in the same meetings. It may also be helpful to have a calm and open conversation with your AD to discuss any concerns and find a mutually beneficial solution.</p><h2>5. What should I do about my new team member who lives far away?</h2><p>You can offer to provide hospitality for your new team member at your own meetings, or you can put in a request for hospitality with your AD for the Miami meetings. It is important to consider your team member's needs and make accommodations as necessary to support their success in the business.</p>

1. What is the best course of action in this situation?

The best course of action would be to communicate openly and honestly with your AD about your concerns and come to a resolution that benefits both parties.

2. Should I send this reply to my AD?

It ultimately depends on your comfort level and the nature of your relationship with your AD. However, it is important to address any issues or concerns in a professional and respectful manner.

3. Am I wrong to feel upset about this situation?

No, your feelings are valid and it is important to address any concerns or conflicts in a productive manner. However, it is important to approach the situation with professionalism and respect for your AD.

4. How can I handle this situation without causing further conflict?

One possible solution could be to suggest finding a compromise, such as alternating locations for meetings or finding a way to include both teams in the same meetings. It may also be helpful to have a calm and open conversation with your AD to discuss any concerns and find a mutually beneficial solution.

5. What should I do about my new team member who lives far away?

You can offer to provide hospitality for your new team member at your own meetings, or you can put in a request for hospitality with your AD for the Miami meetings. It is important to consider your team member's needs and make accommodations as necessary to support their success in the business.

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