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Just a Few Words of Encouragement . . .

In summary, the speaker recounts a positive experience at the mall play area with their family. They cheered on their nephew Sam as he played and handled a situation with another child who was initially being aggressive. Eventually, the other child joined in on the fun and even gave the speaker a Starburst candy as a gesture of gratitude. The speaker reflects on the power of praise and hopes to never miss an opportunity to encourage and support others.
raebates
Staff member
18,357
I already shared this on FB. It was so powerful to me, though, that I decided to share it here, too. Warning: I've been told that it brought several people to tears.



I had an amazing experience this afternoon. My parents are visiting from Florida. Mom had something she needed to do at the mall, so she, Dad, my 5 1/2-year-old nephew Sam, and I went to the mall. After taking care of Mom’s errand, we all went to the play area. Sam played while we adults chatted.

Sam is somewhat timid and not particularly adventurous, so when he started climbing up on some of the play structures and jumping off, I started cheering for him. He loved it. He moved from one thing to another jumping and waiting for my cheer. Eventually he made it around to the car. He had jumped off of it a few times and was climbing up again when another boy climbed into the car. The other boy was about Sam’s size but was probably a little younger.

As Sam climbed up the boy put his hand on Sam’s face and pushed him off. Sam gave him a confused look, then moved around to the back of the car and started to climb up. The other boy turned around and reached toward him as if to push him, so Sam stepped down. After a momentary pause, Sam walked over to the pig that was just about 5 feet in front of us. I praised him for simply walking away from the other boy.

Sam jumped off the pig a few times, and I cheered him each time. He had just climbed back up when the other boy came over and reached up like he was going to push Sam off. Simultaneously Mom and I said sternly, “No.”

The boy looked at us. Mom shook her finger and said, “Don’t you do that.” I put on a very surprised/shocked face and said, “We don’t push people.”

The boy looked at us with a confused expression and said, “He’s in my way.”

I said, “But he was there first. You’ll have to take turns.”

He stood there and looked at me for a few seconds. I cheered for Sam as he jumped, and the boy walked away. Sam soon tired of the pig and moved to another play structure. The other boy came back. He climbed up on the pig, jumped off, then looked at me.

I gave him a big, “Woo hoo!” He broke out in a huge grin, then climbed up and jumped of the pig a couple more times. I cheered him each time. He gave me one last smile, then walked away.

A few minutes later he walked over to me. In his hand he held an open Starburst package. He removed the last piece of candy and handed it to me. I thanked him, put it in my pocket, and told him I’d save it for later. It’s sitting on my desk as I write this. The thought of that little guy giving up his last Starburst brings tears to my eyes.

I’ve worked with kids long enough to know that for many children praise is a very rare thing. That thimbleful of encouragement cost me nothing at all. It clearly meant a lot to that little boy. I hope I never miss an opportunity to cheer someone on.
 
Wow!!! That is Amazing
 
THANKS! for sharing,
 
Great story Rae - thanks for sharing. It says so much about how children learn behavior and also about how bullies develop...and can be helped to change.
 
YEA! We play at the mall play area on a regular basis (OHIO = rain and snow 60% of the year)....and it always frustrates me that there are "beginner bullies" and as a mom, you never know whether saying something is appropiate or not. I applaud both you and your mom for handling it in a calm and loving manner---and then encouraging that little man when he listened! Just think---you may have changed his world for the good!

Let's all pray that we don't miss those opportunities in our lives!
 
  • Thread starter
  • #6
I don't correct annoying behavior in others' kids. However, when a child is harming another in any way I say something. I realize I might be opening myself up for trouble one day. That's okay. When my son was young I would have wanted someone to stop him if he were bullying someone.
 
What a wonderful story! You probably showed that little boy some compassion and redirection that he was needing. I wish more people would step up to the plate like that.
 
Poor little guy was begging for attention. Funny but kids aren't supposed to be there without parents but yet none came forward to correct him or be ugly to you! Shame on them! If you had been a "bad" person, the poor little fella would have gone with you in a heartbeat because you showed him some kindness!
 
We kind of have a similar situation in our neighborhood- two little boys always come over to play with any of the kids in our cul-de-sac when they are outside. Sometimes it gets annoying that you can't go out front without them showing up...but my boys love having friends to play with. We quickly realized these boys are just starved for attention! They'll hang out in the garage and chat with my DH while he's piddling on his scroll saw or working out there. Sometimes you just want to be left alone- but we remind ourselves that they don't have much of a home life that we can see...their parents and older siblings own the local Chinese restaurant in town- so they are there every hour it's open plus some, and they are cared for by a teenage sister (who just lets them run around the neighborhood), and an older grandmother. The relationship is interesting to say the least - we've heard the sister/g'ma yell at them in Chinese to come home and the boys who are 9 and 7 just SCREAM back at them. It's really quite sad and scary. But when they are with us/kids, they aren't too bad. We have to tell them not to cuss sometimes- or send them home when they are sick, but otherwise, not as bad as it first was. Sometimes we just have to think a moment and see things through God's eyes.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #10
We see the same thing in our church's children's ministry. We really stress being encouraging among the staff. The kids are drawn to the volunteers--especially to the men. Way too many of them have no loving, caring men in their lives.
 

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