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I Used to Like Miss Manners....

In summary, Miss Manners believes that it is polite to decline invitations to sales presentations, as doing so does not put one at a disadvantage when compared to social invitations.
soonerchef
1,523
But now, with the below Q&A that I found I am not so sure. This is just what we needed...:rolleyes:

"Dear Miss Manners,
I have a question concerning the proper response to some "invitations". The invitations to which I refer are not those in which potential hosts request that you attend a party, or perhaps a dinner. They are invitations from friends, turned sales representatives or independent consultants, who are inviting you to attend a sales presentation for cosmetics, candles, baskets, kitchenware, etc.

I know that the proper response to an invitation is to reply with a yes or no within a couple days. But are we obligated to respond to these sales invitations in the same manner? Does having RSVP on an invitation require us to call with our regrets concerning a sales presentation for which we have no interest?

Do the rules regarding invitations to social engagements apply also to invitations to what amount to business engagements?

Gentle Reader,
No, they don't. If they did, you would spend your life penning gracious responses to every store that sent you a flyer inviting you to attend a sale and every real estate company that invited you to look at its properties.

But in the case of your friends, you may want to follow that rule anyway.

Miss Manners shares your distaste for commercial coercion under the guise of sociability. These events depend on the guests' feeling obligated to buy things they might not otherwise want the way a good guest at a real social event tries to go along with the plans and expectations of the hosts.

Nevertheless, the people issuing these invitations are your friends, and obviously they do not distinguish between friends and customers or between their living rooms and a sales showroom. They are therefore expecting the same sort of reply as if to a party invitation.

It would cost you little to comply. You needn't give an excuse for declining, but after doing so on repeated occasions, you could gently say, "I really don't shop that way, but I'd love to get together purely socially." Then if they don't get it—if they insist that these really are parties—you may have to go back to declining these invitations to shop, one by one."

You know...I'm sorry but is it really that difficult to call up your friend and say "Sorry, can't make it I have plans" and as much as I love PC and don't sell anything else, there is a time and a place for all DSA's. I would much rather do my shopping with a bunch of friends than fighting with some stranger at a customer packed store!
 
I may just write her a letter myself. Actually, I may just send her an invite to my party I'm hosting on the 8th!! :D
 
  • Thread starter
  • #3
jenniferlynne said:
I may just write her a letter myself. Actually, I may just send her an invite to my party I'm hosting on the 8th!! :D

Oh that's a good one, maybe we should all send her an e-vite!!
 
soonerchef said:
You know...I'm sorry but is it really that difficult to call up your friend and say "Sorry, can't make it I have plans" and as much as I love PC and don't sell anything else, there is a time and a place for all DSA's. I would much rather do my shopping with a bunch of friends than fighting with some stranger at a customer packed store!

I totally agree with you. It's not gonna kill you to pick up the phone and say "I can't come" It's just polite thing to do for anything really. To me store ad that invite us to sales are a completely different then our invites that are hostess' send out. Our invites say "Join me for a sensational time of food, fun and friends." Who says it isn't a social party because that is what we do. And I've had plenty of people come to a show and don't buy anything it's just a great way sometimes to get out of the house and away from everything and just hang out. I think Miss Manners needs to rethink her reply. -- Okay I'm off my soap box!! LOL I don't think I like Miss Manners very much.
 
I think that was a really rude reply from Miss "Manners". Quite a few people have made a great living doing direct sales. Like said above, how hard is it to pick up the phone to call your friends to say no? I've also had many people come to a show & not buy anything. I don't treat them differently than anyone else. They still get a shot at the door prize, a prize for bringing a friend, etc. It's attitudes like that that make it harder for us to do our job or tell people what we do!
 
'Eh... chaulk it up to, it's just not for everyone! Unfortunately...
I had some people that didn't attend the show I did Saturday night because they didn't have money... I always say... you don't need money to hang out with your friends and have some good eats....

I guess that there are some people who are offended by show/parties and that is why that "gentle reader" wrote to Miss Manners in the first place. However, it's my experience people are more offended when you don't invite them rather than when you do!

Good luck to you all!! :)
 
jenniferlynne said:
I may just write her a letter myself. Actually, I may just send her an invite to my party I'm hosting on the 8th!! :D
We should all send her invitations to every show, and pass her address along to our friends at MK, Partilight, Tupperware, Undercover Wear and any other direct sellers we can think of.

What a bimbo.
 
CTTOI...Maybe DORIS should invite her! :D
 
The_Kitchen_Guy said:
We should all send her invitations to every show, and pass her address along to our friends at MK, Partilight, Tupperware, Undercover Wear and any other direct sellers we can think of.

What a bimbo.

OMG, you crack me up!
Maybe everyone has already read this miss manners response, and that's why they don't rsvp anymore??? That's why we have to stress to our hosts to do those reminder calls:)
 
  • #10
I am ignoring this horrible advice and giving some of my own!

Miss Gillian says that it would be far worse to be excluded from a group of potential shoppers, than to be invited unwillingly. Also, Miss Gillian points out that the invitation is purely that- an invitation, not an obligatory ticket to a pushy showroom. Go and enjoy yourself among the company of your friends, and feel no obligation to purchase, but participate as a party-goer. Miss Gillian also suggests giving Miss Manners a firm, gracious kick in the behind upon leaving.
 
  • #11
gilliandanielle said:
I am ignoring this horrible advice and giving some of my own!

Miss Gillian says that it would be far worse to be excluded from a group of potential shoppers, than to be invited unwillingly. Also, Miss Gillian points out that the invitation is purely that- an invitation, not an obligatory ticket to a pushy showroom. Go and enjoy yourself among the company of your friends, and feel no obligation to purchase, but participate as a party-goer. Miss Gillian also suggests giving Miss Manners a firm, gracious kick in the behind upon leaving.


Oh, you kill me!!!!!! :p
 
  • Thread starter
  • #12
gilliandanielle said:
I am ignoring this horrible advice and giving some of my own!

Miss Gillian says that it would be far worse to be excluded from a group of potential shoppers, than to be invited unwillingly. Also, Miss Gillian points out that the invitation is purely that- an invitation, not an obligatory ticket to a pushy showroom. Go and enjoy yourself among the company of your friends, and feel no obligation to purchase, but participate as a party-goer. Miss Gillian also suggests giving Miss Manners a firm, gracious kick in the behind upon leaving.

Perfect...that's what we should put in the e-vites!
 
  • #13
gilliandanielle said:
I am ignoring this horrible advice and giving some of my own!Miss Gillian says that it would be far worse to be excluded from a group of potential shoppers, than to be invited unwillingly. Also, Miss Gillian points out that the invitation is purely that- an invitation, not an obligatory ticket to a pushy showroom. Go and enjoy yourself among the company of your friends, and feel no obligation to purchase, but participate as a party-goer. Miss Gillian also suggests giving Miss Manners a firm, gracious kick in the behind upon leaving.
Gillian,
I truly think you are ready for big time syndication! Your advice is perfect!
 
  • #14
ChefBeckyD said:
Gillian,
I truly think you are ready for big time syndication! Your advice is perfect!

I second that.
 
  • #15
Obviously Miss Manners doesn't really have many friends and maybe she is offended because people that she thinks are her friends don't invite her to their parties and she is just pissy about it, lol. Maybe they are too afraid to do something wrong and be her next headline is why they don't invite her to their PARTIES (not a pushy sales room)
 
  • #16
Yah- Watch for my new column in the paper! It is titled "Snub the Snobbies, Then Give Them a Firm, Gracious Kick In The Behind!"
 

1. What is "I Used to Like Miss Manners...." about?

"I Used to Like Miss Manners...." is a book written by Judith Martin, also known as Miss Manners, which offers a satirical take on modern manners and etiquette.

2. Is "I Used to Like Miss Manners...." appropriate for all ages?

While the book may contain some mature themes and language, it is generally suitable for readers of all ages. However, parental discretion is advised for younger readers.

3. Can I purchase "I Used to Like Miss Manners...." through Pampered Chef?

No, "I Used to Like Miss Manners...." is not a product sold by Pampered Chef. It is a book that can be purchased through various online retailers or at your local bookstore.

4. Is "I Used to Like Miss Manners...." a self-help book?

No, "I Used to Like Miss Manners...." is not a self-help book. While it may offer some tips and insights on manners and etiquette, it is primarily a humorous work of satire.

5. Can I get a signed copy of "I Used to Like Miss Manners...."?

Yes, signed copies of "I Used to Like Miss Manners...." may be available for purchase through certain retailers or at book signings and events featuring Judith Martin herself.

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