I Need Another Name for "Dad" Who Is Not Biological Father.

[katie0128]

Elizabeth is getting married tomorrow (ack! now that I look at the clock, actually later today )! Her biological dad has not been a part of her life by her choice for 15+ years.

Mary (Elizabeth's mom) and Jerry have been living together for 9+ years. Elizabeth's son, her niece and her nephew all call Jerry "Grandpa". Mary and Jerry have no plans to ever get married, so he is not and probably won't ever be a legal "step-dad".

Mary had a meltdown at the rehearsal when I showed her the proof of the program. (Don't ask why they aren't printed yet... LONG story:grumpy: ). Mary doesn't want her to have "Parents of the Bride". She wants the program to say "Mother of the Bride" and leave Jerry off because Jerry isn't (in Mary's words), "Elizabeth's real parent. He isn't a dad or step-dad, he is my boyfriend and that's it". Elizabeth wants to honor the relationship she and the rest of the family have with Jerry, but also doesn't want to deal with drama-queen mom having another meltdown at the wedding.

I need suggestions QUICK of what else we could call Jerry in the program. (Elizabeth's brother with whom she is very close is walking her down the aisle and very appropriately so if you know the background they had with biological idiot-dad. ) My creativity brain cell is not functioning, but I need to get these done and uploaded to Kinko's to print (gotta love that feature) in time for the 6:30p wedding. I'm gonna go sleep :indif: and see if I can be creative in a few hours. But any suggestions would be appreciated!

 

[KateD]

Maybe "Mother of the Bride - Mary XXX, escorted by Jerry YYY"?He's listed with the family in the program, so he's still in an honored position, but not elevated to "Parent of the Bride".

 

[momoftwins]

I like that Kate.

 

[khergatt]

What about Special Friend of the Family?

or just Family Friend

something like that?

 

[BethCooks4U]

I was thinking something like:

"Mother of the Bride - Mary XXX, escorted by Jerry YYY, a dear friend of the family"

Kind of a combination of Kate and Kristy's suggestion...

 

[PamperedDor]

I ditto the Mother of the bride escorted by choice!

 

[Sheila]

Mother of the Bride XXX and Honorary Father of the Bride YYY

(And it's not Mary's wedding ... too bad she can't just let Elizabeth do what Elizabeth feels is appropriate.)

 

[dannyzmom]

Elizabeth is getting married tomorrow (ack! now that I look at the clock, actually later today )! Her biological dad has not been a part of her life by her choice for 15+ years.

Mary (Elizabeth's mom) and Jerry have been living together for 9+ years. Elizabeth's son, her niece and her nephew all call Jerry "Grandpa". Mary and Jerry have no plans to ever get married, so he is not and probably won't ever be a legal "step-dad".

Mary had a meltdown at the rehearsal when I showed her the proof of the program. (Don't ask why they aren't printed yet... LONG story:grumpy: ). Mary doesn't want her to have "Parents of the Bride". She wants the program to say "Mother of the Bride" and leave Jerry off because Jerry isn't (in Mary's words), "Elizabeth's real parent. He isn't a dad or step-dad, he is my boyfriend and that's it". Elizabeth wants to honor the relationship she and the rest of the family have with Jerry, but also doesn't want to deal with drama-queen mom having another meltdown at the wedding.

I need suggestions QUICK of what else we could call Jerry in the program. (Elizabeth's brother with whom she is very close is walking her down the aisle and very appropriately so if you know the background they had with biological idiot-dad. ) My creativity brain cell is not functioning, but I need to get these done and uploaded to Kinko's to print (gotta love that feature) in time for the 6:30p wedding. I'm gonna go sleep :indif: and see if I can be creative in a few hours. But any suggestions would be appreciated!

What does Elizabeth want?

 

[GeorgiaPeach]

What does Elizabeth want?

Ooo....there's a novel idea...ask the bride what SHE wants! Funny how everyone has their opinions and forget that the day isn't about them! My husband is a pastor and always makes a point to talk to the bride and groom separately about how this is THEIR wedding and will be done THEIR way. Then he addresses the issue at rehearsal in front of all the mamas and grandmamas and makes it clear that he will honor the bride's and groom's wishes

 

[reba515]

I kinda feel bad for Jerry !

(I have no suggestions though)

 

[lkprescott]

I'd say it's Elizabeth's wedding, she should decide who this man is to her and use the title she'd like. I mean, biology has little to being a parent (mother or father)... as my son's finding out, his bio-father is far from being as much of a dad as his stepdad... which, btw, he didn't like that title. We used to use 'extra-dad' instead... not sure why he didn't like step-dad but he was fine with extra-dad...

 

[katie0128]

Ooo....there's a novel idea...ask the bride what SHE wants!

That was the FIRST thing that I did. She really wanted to list Jerry as "dad", but also didn't want this to be an ugly memory of the day either. Everyone agreed on the compromise of "escorted by Jerry" and it was very nice. Actually, as I was checking replies on here and getting ready to call her with that suggestion, Elizabeth called and told me they had come up with the same thing.

After all that drama, the wedding was beautiful and the reception was fantastic. I just talked with Elizabeth about an hour ago (her son is staying with us for part of the time they are gone) and they have landed in Hawaii! She said for most of the plane ride about every hour or so, she would lean over to Kris (the DH) and say, "We're married now... do you realize that? We are finally married!" Now that everything is all said and done, I don't think the program issue will be much of a memory... and that is the way it should be!

 

[pamperedharriet]

Glad to hear that everything turned out for Elizabeth!