How Would You Feel if You Got a Letter Like This?

[NooraK]

We all have those friends who don't care for direct sales and don't want to buy anything from us. What if you got a letter in the mail like this?

Hey friend,

A while back, one of my other friends invited me to a [Tupperware/Princess House/Pampered Chef/etc.] party at their home. I accepted, because I felt like I was supposed to – after all, I didn’t want to let my friend down.

When I got to the party, all of the items at the party were way overpriced and, frankly, I didn’t want any of them. But my friend was trying so hard to sell the items that I bought one out of guilt. There went $30 down the tubes. The item’s now gathering dust until I find some excuse to re-gift it to someone else.

The more I thought about this, the more irritated I got. Why should I have to buy stuff I don’t want just to maintain a friendship? I don’t think friendships and sales pitches mix.

So let’s make a deal right now. I’ll never host this kind of party and “bank” on our friendship by inviting you to it, so you’ll never have to feel obligated to buy some junk just because we’re friends. You’ll do the same for me. Deal?

Your friend,

I ran across this article:

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2010/03/03/a-pre-emptive-strike-against-selling-to-friends/

If you read down to the comments, you'll see there are plenty of people who did not agree with her approach. I think, though, it's a good reminder to make sure that while our "store" should always be open, it's not appropriate to constantly talk shop with every friend, every time you see them.

I found this comment especially illustrative:

We lost what we thought were good friends when they got involved in a MLM organization. We foolishly thought they wanted to spend more time with us…until every meal, movie, and pool party ended in a sales pitch. We made our total lack of interest in joining this “group” crystal clear from day 1. The final straw was being invited over so they could practice their sales pitch—except WE were the true intended targets, the “practice” session was a ruse.

Last we heard, they packed up and left Florida for Idaho or Wyoming after he lost his job at our church for using CHURCH records to dig up “prospects”. They thinly avoided legal action against them, but it ruined his reputation and clouded hers heavily.

I don’t know why a couple that included a PhD and a Divinity Degree in their resumes got to this point. A real shame, in every sense of the word.

Now, Pampered Chef isn't one of those MLMs that brainwash you to think everyone wants to be a part of the opportunity to the point that you can't imagine why someone wouldn't, but I've come across some companies whose tactics aren't the greatest.

Just some food for thought

 

[ShellBeach]

Now, Pampered Chef isn't one of those MLMs that brainwash you to think everyone wants to be a part of the opportunity to the point that you can't imagine why someone wouldn't,

Not so sure this is "in the eye of the beholder" thing, and all that. Depends how aggressive the consultant is, in any direct sales business. Some of the PC training stuff on using Facebook strikes me as pretty agressive and calculated.


But yeah, that letter is stupid. I'm perfectly capable of saying no to a friend if I get invited to a Mary Kay or Cookie Lee party. If I got a letter like that, I wouldn't invite them anything I hosted.

 

[NooraK]

Not so sure this is "in the eye of the beholder" thing, and all that. Depends how aggressive the consultant is, in any direct sales business. Some of the PC training stuff on using Facebook strikes me as pretty agressive and calculated.


But yeah, that letter is stupid. I'm perfectly capable of saying no to a friend if I get invited to a Mary Kay or Cookie Lee party. If I got a letter like that, I wouldn't invite them anything I hosted.

I'm sure opinions on what is too aggressive vary greatly. I suppose I have a little more tolerance, because I am in a DS business, but I know some people don't want anything to do with it. But I've also seen non-party plan businesses who don't really teach their consultants ANYTHING about selling their product, and focus solely on the recruiting.

This is quite a long read, but it gives an interesting perspective on one of the companies that I personally view to be this way:

http://www.cockeyed.com/workfromhome/workfromhome.html

What struck out and bothered me the most is how secretive they seem to be about what company is behind it all. If you're so sure you have a superior product, why don't you want anyone to know who you are?

 

[raebates]

I've seen that before. It's one of the reasons I do business the way I do it. I don't give PC as gifts unless I know it was requested. I don't necessarily bring up PC unless it is germane to the conversation (it's a PC product or recipe that I brought to the carry-in, they ask what I'm doing, etc.). That said, there are those who HATE any type of direct sales. My suggestion to them is that they don't attend. As someone who was a host for years, I'd much rather someone not attend than attend and grumble about it. I always told everyone that they were not required to purchase a thing--just come and have fun.

 

[lkhartmann]

Its interesting, I took a 4 year break from cooking shows. I hosted a grand reopening in May for HWC. I invited my neighbors because I felt obligated to. They don't buy or host but I felt it would be rude not to. They both grumbled about the invite and I said, don't feel obligated, I just felt weird having something at my home and not including you. they came, complained about the cost of items, ate and left. I really wished they had simply stayed home, I would not have been offended. Ironically I did a show accross town and the woman didnt invite her neighbors for fear the would feel obligated. one came by the yard (pizza on the grill show) and asked if she could come in. she placed $122 order. she doesnt even speak to the host normally. You never know how people will take an invite. i say invite and let them put their big girl panties on and say no if their not interested.

 

[wadesgirl]

Some people just need to grow up If you don't want to go, don't go but you also don't have to voice your opinion either way.

 

[byrd1956]

I use to feel guilty thinking about giving PC as a gift and am still trying to overcome that, so I give it if I know a person would appreciated it with the exception of a wedding gift. I give the pizza kit and everyone that has received it have been very thankful.

 

[raebates]

I use to feel guilty thinking about giving PC as a gift and am still trying to overcome that, so I give it if I know a person would appreciated it with the exception of a wedding gift. I give the pizza kit and everyone that has received it have been very thankful.

I would never feel guilty about giving PC as a gift. I just choose not to unless I know it's welcome. For instance, as women graduate from our church's Rescue Resort, The Furry Guy and I give them a PC product (stone or MFP). They've been using good PC stuff at the Rescue Resort, so they've gotten used to them.

 

[lt1jane]

I don't give PC products as gifts just to give PC products as gifts. I give them to my sister-in-law and my husband's parents because they are products I think they will find useful.

Last year my son gave grandpa the grilling tools. It stemmed from a camping trip where they fogot to pack the grilling tools. Now they have a second set for the RV

I hated the cheap knives my MIL had, so I gave her some PC ones. She now loves them.

It's things like that that have me giving PC products.

 

[esavvymom]

Some people just need to grow up If you don't want to go, don't go but you also don't have to voice your opinion either way.

:thumbup:Agreed.

And I think I'd be getting a new friend. :grumpy: A TRUE friend would NOT send that kind of letter....I'm sorry. You grin and bear it.

NOW, one exception would be if you as the consultant had a history of trying one thing after another and always hitting up your friends. I've met some consultants who do something for about a year to get the things they want at discount or the kit products, and then they move on to another DS product line and start all over. THAT might warrant a conversation!

 

[pampered1224]

My feelings - don't invite them to those kinds of parties and don't bother with any of the other kind either. If I have to get a letter like that, it tells me one thing, you do not want me as a friend in anyway shape or form. I will be better off without you.
Secondly, does this mean, if I keep you as a friend, that I can set boundaries on how our friendship will work too?