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Director Hosts You Want to Hit Upside the Head

In summary, the host was not happy with the arrangement that Beth had made to cover part of the cost of the party if it reached $500. Beth attempted to explain that this is how it usually works and that the host would not need to pay her back if they wanted to provide a meal. The host was not happy with this arrangement and felt like she was doing all the work.
BethCooks4U
Gold Member
13,010
Sorry but I need to whine a little...

I got an email today:

Beth, I'm sorry i wasn't at the party in mebane, but did i understand you saying that if a party is over 500.00 YOU would take care of the food. Was that the statement you make ?.. I don't feel like I should provide ALL the food and get orders, and you just work FOR 40 minute that not the way I understand the purpose of having the party. It matter to me if we can get a understand the food situation ok.I guess the bbq sandwiches is fine, veggie and dip and cake. I'm feeling disappointed already and i haven't even had the party isn't that something..I really like feeling this way.

Background: Usually my hosts provide the ingredients. We pick a recipe under $15 and if she chooses to get more that's on her. This fall in order to get back on track after not working most of this year, I decided to offer to do the grocery shopping for my host for the demo recipe and if the party hits $500 (which all have so far) they would not have to pay me back.

This host wants to provide a meal. I said I would cover part of the cost but not the entire amount, explaining the above. I gave her lots of recipe choices (I know, I know...) most of which were much less expensive than pork tenderloin. She is confused. She has collected orders already so she feels like she'd doing all the work. I replied, well I'll put that on here too...

No, no, no... I think you are totally misunderstanding! Let me try to explain.

Pampered Chef has it set up that you get $15 in free product for providing the food for a cooking show. It's a pay back for that. How it usually works is we agree on a recipe (not a meal) that I will demo and as a responsible consultant I recommend recipes that cost you $15 or less unless the host wants something more, then it's their decision. Really though, most people just expect a tasting of a recipe. They don't expect a meal so this can be very inexpensive for hosts. You told me you want to provide a meal for your friends and that is fine but it's much more than we usually do at a party.

As a special extra, I am currently offering to purchase the ingredients for one demo recipe and if the party is $500 or more I will not ask for the payment for those groceries (it's out of my pocket then - Pampered Chef does not expect me to do that and they don't pay me back). Most of the recipes I offer with this deal have a grocery bill of between $6 and $12. This is something that I don't have to do and most consultants don't do. I thought it would be something nice to do for my hosts. I do appreciate you and like everyone I have to watch my budget. I have a package of pork tenderloin that I got on sale for $11 and a box of chocolate cake mix. I could bring that if you provide the rest of the ingredients (except those noted below) or if you want to get the meat I would shop the remaining ingredients but I can't do it all if we're providing a meal.


Here is what we'd need if we do the BBQ pork sandwiches, veggies and dip and cake:

BBQ pork sandwiches
1 pkg pork tenderloin (could substitute 1 1/2 - 2 lb chicken if desired)
1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup brown sugar (if you don't keep this I could bring it)
2 Tbsp Smokey BBQ rub (I bring this)
2 tsp cider vinegar (if you don't have this I can bring it)
small buns (snack size)

Veggies & dip
carrots, celery, broccoli, cucumber (your choices)
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup sour cream
a seasoning chosen by you (from those that I would bring)

Cake
cake mix
16 oz sour cream
3 eggs
1 tub frosting to compliment the cake flavor (not whipped!)
additional garnish toppings (that I bring)

If I bring the pork (or chicken) and cake mix all you would need to provide is: ketchup, snack buns, 1 cup mayonnaise, 16 oz + 1 cup sour cream, 3 eggs, tub of frosting and veggies. If you want to get the meat then just please tell me what of the other items you already have in the house (like ketchup, eggs...)

Your job is to invite people and get orders from those who can't come so that your guest sales are as high as they can be which means more free and higher discounts for you. My job is to show the products by making a recipe and talking about the benefits of them so people see why it would benefit them to have them and to get orders at the party. It's also my job to ask for bookings so that I get further business and you get more discounts at their parties. Then you get the fun job of spending your host benefits.

Please call and let's get this straightened out. I want you to be happy!
Beth


Also, I wanted to talk about the time I spend on a show. I estimate that I spend between 4-5 hours on each show that I do. I am there for about 2 hours plus driving time plus I spend a fair amount of time before the party trying to help the host have a successful show (getting host packet together, calling/emailing info, ordering and paying for the supplies, etc) and after the party getting the host all they can with their benefits. For example, with Michele's show she could have added a $20 order to her show to get to the next level of benefits which would have made my commission higher but I spent the time to do the math (she wouldn't have known any different if I hadn't done that) and by putting her items all in the host order and leaving the party level lower she actually saved money. I got paid less, she spent less. Honestly, I really am all about getting my hosts the most I can! I feel that it is a way to have happy hosts which means referrals and repeat business.

I hope this helps you understand.

Purpose of this thread:

1. To whine - really? I was shaking when I read this. I am doing more for this host than I do for most - letting her pick lots of things, buying some of the ingredients...

2. Did I say too much? Was I clear but still caring? Of course I think I was but I wrote it. I actually had more but I walked away and then edited it twice before sending. I probably shouldn't have included that last part but it really got to me that she thought I'd "work" 40 minutes.

When this host started talking about a meal I said that I only demo one recipe but that I would come up with ideas on what she could also serve if she wanted to but that was obviously lost... :cry:

Lesson learned. I will first decide on the recipe with the host and THEN IF it is one that I am willing to shop the ingredients for I will offer that. NOT BEFORE.
 
Bless and release. You are never going to make her happy... and quite frankly.. HOW DARE SHE JUDGE HOW MUCH TIME YOU MAY OR MAY NOT "WORK"!!! Sorry to scream.. makes me so made!
 
First...{{{{{{HUS}}}}}. Can I hand you the bat so you can smack her up side the head?

We all do things different. I very rarely have a host complain about the cost of food to provide for a party or a recipe (I could count on one hand those who have complained). I provide a list of recipes I will do and let them know I do ONE recipe and that if they do not find something they like, then we will work together to find something. Most host usually fix way too much food anyway but they know that is all on their part.

One year I decided to "offer more services" and offerred to send returns and paying for the shipping, etc. However, I could not get it done fast enough and had more people mad at me than people raving about the service! So I have done away with it.

Hope this host wakes up and realizes how much you are doing for her. Keep us posted.
 
pcjenni said:
Bless and release. You are never going to make her happy... and quite frankly.. HOW DARE SHE JUDGE HOW MUCH TIME YOU MAY OR MAY NOT "WORK"!!! Sorry to scream.. makes me so made!

Jenni, thank you for writing this. I am at work and keep getting interupted with my thoughts so what you wrote was exactly how I reacted. (how dare people interupt me with work related items LOL!!)

Her judging your time and pay, Beth, made me brissle as well. Like I said...I will hand you the bat...and we all recommend wood not aluminum!!
 
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  • #5
baychef said:
First...{{{{{{HUS}}}}}. Can I hand you the bat so you can smack her up side the head?

We all do things different. I very rarely have a host complain about the cost of food to provide for a party or a recipe (I could count on one hand those who have complained). I provide a list of recipes I will do and let them know I do ONE recipe and that if they do not find something they like, then we will work together to find something. Most host usually fix way too much food anyway but they know that is all on their part.

One year I decided to "offer more services" and offerred to send returns and paying for the shipping, etc. However, I could not get it done fast enough and had more people mad at me than people raving about the service! So I have done away with it.

Hope this host wakes up and realizes how much you are doing for her. Keep us posted.


Thanks! You guys make me feel better! :candyheart:

I have found that when I offer extras I always find the complainers. When I don't everyone is happy. Go figure. I had three surgeries, one major and was in the hospital parts of each of the first four months of the year. Then we went on a big vacation in June and conference and family visit in July. I thought I needed some extra incentive to get me back on track. Half of my Oct hosts have this incentive the other half don't and guess which half is happier. When will I learn? As far as back on track: I have reached my september sales goal, have one recruit signed, two others waiting for pay day, two new downline recruits and another possible, nine shows and three fairs on my October calendar, so far four Nov and one Dec shows. It's all good if I can just get past this lady!

...oh, and she booked from her daughter (who has done multiple shows with me) and the daughter did not get this or any special deal. Urrrgggg!
 
baychef said:
First...{{{{{{HUS}}}}}.

One year I decided to "offer more services" and offerred to send returns and paying for the shipping, etc. However, I could not get it done fast enough and had more people mad at me than people raving about the service! So I have done away with it.
.
This is so true!!!! and I think it is why it always bothers me so much because I have already gone out of my way to give them extra. I got several very nasty emails last week, I started jokingly calling it crap on your consultant week. :devil:
 
Beth--so get it. I tell them the hospitality benefit is a the extra $15 they get just for having me walk in the door. I never mention the food cost. I tell them _____________ is what I am offering this month (I usually give them 4 choices), you are welcome to add a salad or ______ if you choose. When I offer to cover the food i BRING the food. For the recipe. Period.

My friend in Arizona went to Sally's beauty supply and bought hair color application bottles for about $1+ each. Put the dessert sauces in each one, labeled them and takes them to a show. Tells the host to buy vanilla ice cream. Nukes the bottles for about 30 sec-45 sec each and lets the guests test the sauces and THAT is her "B" recipe. Brilliant.

Hang in there Beth. Let me know and I'll help you smack her.
 
"I don't feel like I should provide ALL the food and get orders, and you just work FOR 40 minute that not the way I understand the purpose of having the party." I would love to say this in response... "I know my job is soooo easy. My host's do ALL of the work. I only work 40 minutes and make at least $100 and it is LEGAL. Maybe you should do this too?"

Beth, ... Bless and Release, but whine all you want here. You handled it well, but you will not please her.

I only offer 1 recipe "choice" I have been doing this for 3 years now. It changes each month. I know exactly what I am making every party and my kit is easy to pack. I think it also makes the statement that I am not a caterer and the point of the party is not to stuff everyone's belly, but make a recipe to show the products in action. If the host is concerned about food and wants me to demo a 2nd recipes, I tell her no and I make a joke about me not being that exciting to watch and everyone will start getting bored watching me prepare two recipes. I tell her she is welcome to provide other foods and I give her a few suggestions.

We all have those hosts that we want to smack up-side the head. Hey maybe we need a new smiley for that!!
 
I demo 1 recipe as well.. I make it about her and her guest. "I keep my demo to 45 minutes, which we know is about everyone's attention span. That way people can get home to their families as quickly as possible. Remember if everyone has a fun time and hosting looks fun and easy, your friends are going to want to host their own shows. And I know you want those upcoming Hostess Specials a t 60% off right?"
 
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pcjenni said:
I demo 1 recipe as well.. I make it about her and her guest. "I keep my demo to 45 minutes, which we know is about everyone's attention span. That way people can get home to their families as quickly as possible. Remember if everyone has a fun time and hosting looks fun and easy, your friends are going to want to host their own shows. And I know you want those upcoming Hostess Specials a t 60% off right?"

Yep. That's what I do too! But this one time I thought I'd let her do the party SHE wanted (plus I was offering the special). Uggg. lesson learned.
 
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  • #11
Well, she called me today and was all apologetic. She said she didn't know what she was thinking when she said all that, that she had had a bad day at work. She had obviously discussed this with her daughter (my past host - has done several shows). She said her daughter agreed with what I said and that she now realizes we don't need to do a meal. I sent her new choices and we are now good. And she has $350 in outside orders already and her party isn't until mid-October!I'm glad I don't have to hit her upside the head. ;)
 
  • #12
Yeah, carnium-in-rectumitis has been cured!!! Great news Beth! rare that someone actually apologizes. Love it!
 
  • #13
Beth,
I am so happy for you that this all worked out and that she apologized!!!! Good luck with the show!
 
  • #14
Beth, Great news! Glad it has worked out. $350 in outside orders?!! Excellent.
 
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  • #15
Update: when I arrived she handed me 15 orders totaling over $450. She had a room full of people but almost half didn't order. We closed that night at $800. She said "we could have gotten $1000 - I told them to have their orders tonight". She also admitted that "honestly, this was so easy". I'm thinking her daughter did hit her upside the head. It was a total turn around. She was so nice and thanked me several times.
 
  • #16
That's an awesome conclusion to a crappy start! Thanks for the update and I am so happy the lightbulb turned on! :)
 
  • #17
Can we collectively hit my Saturday host upside the head? It was supposed to be a PC Bridal Shower. It was booked 2weeks beforehand, I met them at a Bridal Extravaganza. I could never reach her on the phone (should've been my first warning), but we communicated well enough through email. I sent the packet with a SASE for the bride to mail me her wish list. I printed a list out and asked her to check what she wanted. I never got that back (should've been my second warning). On Tuesday she finally gets back to me with her choice for the demo recipe. Then while I'm at my show Friday night she emails me to switch her selection, but she writes it in a away that reads as if she was just now telling me (third warning).Jump to the day of the party...The location was an hour away. I get there and there are tons of cars already there. I start to freak out thinking I must be late, but no, I was on time. I walk in and there is a lady packing up and leaving...Tastefully Simple. Apparently, after my demo a Mary Kay consultant was coming and after her...Passion Party. I had no idea she was doing that. If I had known I would've bowed out or tried to convince her to do the Pampered Chef party after the wedding instead of part of the party marathon day.So, the night before she says there are 18 confirmed guests, at the party...4!!! Sales? $109. Bookings you ask? Big fat Zero! I was so irritated!
 
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  • #18
{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} Sandra! I feel your frustration. Today's host has been high maintenance. It took her a full year to book. Every month it was - I'm not sure when but I do want to do it. Some months it was her calling me so it's not like I was pressuring her. Finally in August she decided on this date. She insists we do everything in person and just doesn't seem to get any of the coaching. We met twice before the party in addition to phone calls, emails and running into each other. I doubt she called anyone to invite or remind but I know she emailed reminders. She was surprised that we had 9 people there but then only 4 ordered. I left there with $210 in sales ( she had one $40 outside order). Uggg. My show average is over $700. Then we had to work out a time to physically meet to close the party on Tuesday (my son's birthday) even thought i repeatedly said that most hosts do it over the phone. I offered her an extra bonus if she hits $500 and she seemed excited about that but then she just called with a question and said "I'll try but at least you got two bookings". ...we all have those crazys don't we! :yuck:
 
  • #19
Oh Sandra....let me hand you the bat to hit this one up side the head. Trying to put myself in your shoes...I would have been tempted to get back in the car and leave without unpacking. My attitude would have been so crappy. So sorry this happened to you. Big ole {{{{HUGS}}}
 
  • #20
glad to see that Oct has been a weird month for others of you! The full moon must be getting to people. I have had 6 cancellations this month, 2 of which confirmed the show and then never got back to me. I finally sent the "i'm not coming to your house" email UGHHHH
 

1. Who wrote "Hosts You Want to Hit Upside the Head"?

"Hosts You Want to Hit Upside the Head" was written by author and speaker, Dr. Kevin Leman.

2. What is the book about?

The book is about dealing with difficult people, specifically those who exhibit traits that make them hard to be around or work with.

3. Is this book only for Christians?

No, the book is not targeted towards any specific religion or belief system. It offers practical advice for anyone dealing with difficult people in their lives.

4. Are there specific strategies suggested in the book for dealing with difficult hosts?

Yes, the book offers various strategies and techniques for handling difficult hosts, including setting boundaries, practicing assertiveness, and using humor as a tool.

5. Can this book be helpful for those in a professional setting?

Yes, the book can be helpful for anyone dealing with difficult hosts in a professional setting, such as in the workplace or in a business networking setting.

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