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Hostess with the Mostess...NOT! Help!

Feb 14, 2006
105
0
Ok, I have a unique situation. For my first show my neighbor decided to do a show for me which was really nice of her. I did what I could to host coach her even though it was difficult because she sells MaryKay so everytime I would bring up her show, she would start talking about MK. (She even passed out her MK cards at the show I hosted before I signed :eek: !!) Anyway, so a few days before the show I ask her how many people are coming and she says really layed back like "No one so far." Wow, I'm instantly bummed, its my first show and darn it I wanted it to be good! So I get my tail in gear and my husband and I pass out 20+ invitations randomly around the neighborhood. So on the night of the show the weather is terrible and no one shows up. At first I was bummed but then I decided to just look at the upside and make the best of it. So I went through my whole show and basically had a practice show with my hostess and recruiter right there to coach me. We had fun and ate and I went home. So the next day I ask my host if she could work on getting some outside orders for me. Well, I've talked to her just about everyday and guess what? You got it, no orders!

So to make a long story short, I got an outside order from a friend of mine and added an order from my mom to the show hoping she would come through with at least one or two orders so I have my $150 to submit it. Well, its been almost a week and a half now and nothing. Then she asks me today when I'm going to submit the show so she can get her mixing bowls!!!! :eek:

I was speechless. So my question to you all is how should I handle this?! I think if anyone should get the mixing bowls its me or my mom for putting in a $75 order. Yes, she did buy the ingredients and we had the show at her house and all, but I also got her a nice hostess gift (a MK money bag) and I just feel like she hasn't really put much effort into it.

Any input or ideas would be much appreciated!

Thanks in advance...
~Kristen :eek:
 

kcjodih

Legacy Member
Gold Member
Feb 20, 2005
3,408
2
In my opinion, it's pretty simple. No orders, no show, no host benefits. Gather orders yourself and take the free product, or have your mother gather orders and give the special and/or the free product to her. As for the non-hostess, she received a host gift - end of story. Yes, she's out the money for the ingredients but that's HER fault and HER problem NOT yours.

You even went above and beyond by delivering invites in the neighbourhood with your hubby. Bad weather or not, she could have gathered outside orders before or after if she made ANY effort whatsoever.

It sounds to me like she's trying to take advantage of you just starting out and get something for nothing. I DON'T THINK SO!!

SO next time she asks when you're going to submit the show so she can get her mixing bowls tell her as soon as she collects enough orders FOR a show and leave it at that.

Just my opinion,
 

Lisa/ChefBear

Veteran Member
Gold Member
Jun 24, 2005
1,293
2
I'm with Jodi

I just had this happen, had a show from H*** and hostess SWORE she invited 20 people as that's all the invites she wanted (which I print) and she had sent/given them ALL out. Well I got to her house after HC and her telling me there would be between 10-14 people there, well guess what, I got unloaded, started prepping the food (which I bought and she WAS to reimburse me for) and NO ONE shows, I'm there OVER AN HOUR waiting as she swears she knows a couple of girls were going to be late and they're coming and want to talk to me about a bridal shower for her.

Meanwhile, she left her Hostess Binder on the table and I looked in it for any OS orders, which there were none, but right there were 16 out of 20 invites that she swore she'd given out.

So I waited, they finally show up and they didn't order anywhere near enough to count as a show, so I give her 1 week to get OS orders, she avoids my calls, and I finally got her and said I'm on my way to drop off someting to Jen (the hostess she booked from) and I'll be stopping to finalize your show, well she doesn't even let me get out of car, she meets me in driveway and threw Jen's order at me, and siad well I don't know how you're going to get me those bowls, but here's Jen's order. To which I said, unless Jen ordered almost $100.00 you don't get the bowls. Well what about these orders, I said I'd have to put them in as ind. orders and you won't get credit for them. Well no way was I going to pay direct shipping on them, so I added them to another show and helped the hostess who had outside orders, 10 people at her home and got even more OS orders.

I before all of this, had been in contact with maid of honor and she said, I don't care what bride said, we're NOT having a PC shower for her, we think they're a waste of time and we doing a regular shower and if she gets things she's got to bad!! I was in shock and was like, wow, if they're her friends I'd hate to see what they did to her if they didn't like her, lol.

Long story summary, I stood my ground, she did not get her bowls or even a PHD, and you guessed it, I'm out the $ as she was going to add the food to her order. Well I never got it, so I've no hope to get any $ from her.

Lisa
 

reesefamily5

Member
Mar 27, 2005
195
0
I definetely would not give that host the credit or the host special. I had a host do this to me once to. And it was during a month that if I didn't submit her show I would go inactive. The host knew this because she was a friend of my brothers. She gave me two orders that added up to under $50. I called a few people and was able to get one more order. Then my director/recruiter ordered about $100 worth of product just so I would stay active. (And she wanted to walk across stage as Director at NC) . She was wonderful to do this for me. But I put the host benefits under my grandma's name. No way was I giving any benefits to that host. She didn't do anything, and she wasn't willing to rebook either because "she was SO busy".

What really ticked me off was when the next week I got an invite in the mail for a Tastefully Simple party. (Thought she was so busy!!) Well I didn't go and I haven't made much effort to talk to her since then either!!
 

tiffanypc05

Advanced Member
Nov 3, 2005
601
0
I had this lady who was so excited about doing a show with me. Well she sells Beauty Control and started talking to me about the business. Well i love pampered chef and could not see myself selling anything else. After I told her I was not interested in selling beauty control I think it may have upset her. But to make a long story short, she will not return my calls, or anything. I think she just got upset b/c I told her I wasn't interested in selling her products. Some people are just so weird.
 

The_Kitchen_Guy

Legend Member
Silver Member
Nov 4, 2005
12,459
79
And here I thought, all this time, it was just me that had this sort of thing happen. :) My recruiter never told me I'd also have to be a diplomat.

I've got a similar situation to tiffany's right now - a past host has booked a large HWC show in May. Her husband has a "home based business" that he'd just love to show me some time and he has started making recruiting overtures. Ah, but when someone tells me I'm supposed to give up a Saturday afternoon to "...look at the business at an opportunity meeting..." and won't tell me the name of the company, there are all kinds of red flags waving and fireworks going off.

It's a tightrope to walk, I'm always afraid that if I tick off the husband, I'll screw up the host. I did a really great tap dance around this issue and explained to him, very carefully, that I'm committed to building my PC business and cannot risk being distracted from my goal. Anyone who is serious about building their own buisness has got to understand not "...being distracted from my goal..." and respect that. If they don't, and they abandon you, I don't think you've lost much.

FWIW, I have several Mary Kay reps as hosts. (Remember, they have to eat, too!) Some are better than others for invitations and such, but I respect their buinesses and they respect mine. We joke about recruiting each other (I tell them I just don't have the legs for skirts) and that seems to take the edge off of it. Since most of their guests are also MK customers, I've even joked with the guests about the double-wammy of recruiting efforts.

I heard someone say once that diplomacy is the act of stabbing someone while they thank you for doing it. Too bad no one offers "diplomacy" classes.
 
M

MicheleC

Guest
Kristen,

Stand your ground. You did everything you could to make this a success. Yes, the weather was bad and yes she is out the ingredients but you are out your time and a show date that could have been replaced by someone who really wanted to get the benefits. That she would actually expect host benefits for doing nothing is incredible especially considering she has a home based business. At least you got some practice and you probably got your worst show out of the way so it's all got to get better from here!

Michele
 

The_Kitchen_Guy

Legend Member
Silver Member
Nov 4, 2005
12,459
79
"Standing [her] ground..." might be a scorched earth policy, though. Remember, she has to live next door to this, this, this host.

There's got to be some kind of a compromise that allows everyone to come out of this with a minimum of damage. That said, I'd never trust her again.
 
M

MicheleC

Guest
Maybe the standing her ground comment came across different from what I intended. My point is don't give her hostess benefits for doing nothing. She has given the hostess time to collect outside orders. She already gave her a hostess gift when there were no orders on the show. I certainly don't see any need to give her the hostess special as well if she couldn't even get one outside order. If you're still feeling guilty (which I don't think you should) you could offer her the bowls at a 20 % discount so you don't make any commission off of it. I think that would be a generous offer! Good luck!
 

The_Kitchen_Guy

Legend Member
Silver Member
Nov 4, 2005
12,459
79
That's why I like the discussion format up here. While we don't get the voice inflection of a chat, there's lots of opportunity to learn good things up here.

I had a host that went from 20 people to 10 people to 5 people to a catalog show in the course of about 4 days. When it came time to close the catalog show, it was down to about $40 in sales and she started to duck my phone calls.

I landed a customer order of about $100, so I approached my host with an opportunity to make her non-show into a show by adding my outside order. Apparently, it was just the kick in the butt she needed becuase within a couple of days, it went from a non-show to a rather profitable show. (Not to mention I saved my customer a few bucks in direct shipping costs.)

She had such a good time that she wants to try it again. But THIS time, I'm using the host address form, and I'm mailing the invitations.

(I'd really like the original 40 invitations back that I gave her in her host kit. By letting her keep them, I get to let her save face by not admitting that she never mailed any out.)
 

agw

Member
Gold Member
Nov 17, 2005
239
0
I've taken advantage of having an awesome parent company in situations like this. I have loads of flexibility and independence in my business, but some things are just plain dictated by the company.

I recently had a case where a show guest was a past host, but when I went to look her up, the PHD has expired. I told her, "I'm so sorry, but your PHD has expired. While I'd love to honor it, I know that the company won't. What would you like to do?"

In your case, I'd call again on our great parent company. "I'd love to get you the Host Special, but I can't unless you meet the minimum requirements for a show. I'm not the one offering [this great special], Pampered Chef is. Of course, they only offer it to those who host a qualified show. If you're really interested in [host special], then I will try to help you. I can't gather orders for you, but I can give you the catalogs and order forms you'll need."

You're putting the ball firmly back in her court and taking the direct "fault" off of you and putting it onto the less personal "corporate policy". Your hands are tied, y'know? ;)
 

The_Kitchen_Guy

Legend Member
Silver Member
Nov 4, 2005
12,459
79
That's a very tactful way of doing it - bravo.

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggy' while you're looking for a rock."
--Will Rogers
 

Sooner PC

Member
Sep 30, 2005
247
0
I thought I was the only one with these problems. I had a friend of mine (a Creative Memories consultant) and - I had a crop with her and it was around $90 in sales - not enough for any bonuses. She looked at me and just said, "sorry - your short this time. Better luck next time." Well - I signed up for PC and she said she would host a show. I did all the host coaching - and even sent the post cards I send. She called me the week of the show and said her group was pretty well PC out and no one would come. She said she had some orders and she left them in my mail box.

I had 8 shows going that month so I split her orders between the other hostesses to get them up to the next level. I put my friend as a co-host but she didnt' get any of the other benefits. I guess she will have to do better next time.
 

PamG

Novice Member
Nov 4, 2005
46
0
I am fairly new at this but I make sure people understand to be considered a show that they must have $150.00 in product sales. It really does not seem to scare people off and it lets them know right up front that a dollar amount is a requirement for it to be considered a party.
 

DebbieSAChef

Senior Member
Jan 17, 2006
2,153
0
Some hosts are....

very hard to work with. Sometimes the lights are on but nobody's home! They don't get it!! As far as I am concerned I agree with others on here that say "You didn't get any orders, you don't get any benefits!"
Simple, I understand you have to live next door to this woman but if you let her get away with it this time who knows how many times she will expect something for nothing from you. This is a business and even though as a direct selling consultant we are to try to master our customer service skills, there is a difference in someone who tried and couldn't get to $150 level and someone who did nothing and expects the host special.
BE HONEST!!
Explain to her that unless her orders are at $150 you cannot submit it as a show. Try to help her brainstorm as to who to ask for an order or just let it go as an unsuccessful show. We have all had one! Defintely give your mom the bowls or your friend whoever wants them or if they both want them, the person who ordered the most products! That's fair!
Thank this host for her time but be sure to let her know she can try again another time when her friends and family might be able to attend. I had a show at only $120 and when I explained this to the host she felt bad and I told her it was ok. I added it to my another show and the other host got to $400. I gave my hostess who really tried a chance to get the item she really wanted the most from the catalog at the other hosts discount of 20%. She liked that.
Compromise is a good thing, and you can offer her the bowls at your mom's or friends discount benefit, but that's it. Let us know how it turns out!
Debbie
 

reesefamily5

Member
Mar 27, 2005
195
0
Another thing if she brings up buying the ingredients for the recipe. She did get to eat it and she even got someone else to make it for her, so she already got some benefits by having you there. Not to many of us get someone to cook for us for absolutely nothing!! :)
 

The_Kitchen_Guy

Legend Member
Silver Member
Nov 4, 2005
12,459
79
reesefamily5 said:
Another thing if she brings up buying the ingredients for the recipe. She did get to eat it and she even got someone else to make it for her, so she already got some benefits by having you there. Not to many of us get someone to cook for us for absolutely nothing!! :)
She could always start ordering pizzas for the neighbor.
 
Feb 14, 2006
105
0
Update...

Ok, so here's the latest. My recruiter came over last night and we went over how to work the show so I could have enough to submit it. We figured out that if she were to get at least get one outside order OR buy $35 in product herself, I would be fine with her getting the mixing bowls and would have enough to submit the show. (I would buy this much myself, but we are just really tight on money this month.)
I am doing this simply because of the fact that she is my neighbor and I have to live with her. I don't want to make our relationship for the next who knows how long (we just moved in 2 months ago) TERRIBLE and one set of mixing bowls no matter how great they are just aren't worth that kind of stress to me. So, since she was working today and because I'm not a confrontational person, I emailed her and in a very short and to the point form told her what SHE needed to do to get the bowls. I'm not saying she owes me, but I have also bought an aweful lot of MK stuff from her to help her out, so I don't think its too much to ask of her to either get a $35 order to close the show or buy that much in product herself. I will let you know what happens...

I the mean time, thanks for all the advice! You wouldn't think it would be so hard to get $150 in orders but being military and having people around here with little to no family and fewer friends in the area, its not always easy!

The name of my game lately has been outside orders!

Keep up the great work...
~Kristen
 
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