Navigating Difficult Hosts: Tips for Handling Uncooperative Party Hosts

[cookie325]

I am hoping someone can give me a tip or two on how to handle this host. "Susie" won a free kitchen show and we scheduled the date a few days after she won. I explained that I would be going out of town for NC, but I would be sending her the guest list label template and an email from my PWS before I left so she could get started on her guest list and I would call her as soon as I got back. Upon my return, I called her and we started talking about her guest list, when she informed me that she is a rep for another company, and really doesn't want to invite more than 6 people to her show. I explained to her that 1/3 of her guests won't be able to come, so if she only invites 6, she might only end up with 1-2. I asked her if she needed help coming up with more people...she said no, she'd work on it and email it to me. That was the day after I got back from NC. On that same call, she asked me what recipe we would do at her show and I explained to her that I am offering trifle recipes for Aug, and she said that sounded great. I told her I'd email her some choices and she could pick one and get back to me.

FF to next call - still no more than 6 people. And when I said "let's brainstorm to see who else we can think of to invite" she said no, I'll work on it and get it to you. Then she complained that she didn't want a dessert at her show, and could we do something savory. I said sure, I'll email you choices. She said can we do one of each, and I politely explained that I only do one recipe at shows so the demo isn't too long (yada yada), but if she has 15 confirmed buying guests, I will make a dip to go along with the recipe. She said okay. So I sent her a few savory choices, reiterating in the email that we really need to get a guest list of at least 40 names and that she should pick ONE recipe for us to have at her show (and why) and that with 15 confirmed attendees, we could make a dip as a quick second option.

Today I get an email from her asking if she can do the DCB chili/cornbread AND a trifle. I have an appointment to call her tomorrow (set before I got this email). What should I say? Am I not being clear??

ETA - The other company she is a rep for apparently encourages hosts to have no more than 5-6 guests for a show, which is the reason she said she doesn't want to invite more...even though I explained that we want more people there...

 

[kcjodih]

I am hoping someone can give me a tip or two on how to handle this host. "Susie" won a free kitchen show and we scheduled the date a few days after she won. I explained that I would be going out of town for NC, but I would be sending her the guest list label template and an email from my PWS before I left so she could get started on her guest list and I would call her as soon as I got back. Upon my return, I called her and we started talking about her guest list, when she informed me that she is a rep for another company, and really doesn't want to invite more than 6 people to her show. I explained to her that 1/3 of her guests won't be able to come, so if she only invites 6, she might only end up with 1-2. I asked her if she needed help coming up with more people...she said no, she'd work on it and email it to me. That was the day after I got back from NC. On that same call, she asked me what recipe we would do at her show and I explained to her that I am offering trifle recipes for Aug, and she said that sounded great. I told her I'd email her some choices and she could pick one and get back to me.

FF to next call - still no more than 6 people. And when I said "let's brainstorm to see who else we can think of to invite" she said no, I'll work on it and get it to you. Then she complained that she didn't want a dessert at her show, and could we do something savory. I said sure, I'll email you choices. She said can we do one of each, and I politely explained that I only do one recipe at shows so the demo isn't too long (yada yada), but if she has 15 confirmed buying guests, I will make a dip to go along with the recipe. She said okay. So I sent her a few savory choices, reiterating in the email that we really need to get a guest list of at least 40 names and that she should pick ONE recipe for us to have at her show (and why) and that with 15 confirmed attendees, we could make a dip as a quick second option.

Today I get an email from her asking if she can do the DCB chili/cornbread AND a trifle. I have an appointment to call her tomorrow (set before I got this email). What should I say? Am I not being clear??

ETA - The other company she is a rep for apparently encourages hosts to have no more than 5-6 guests for a show, which is the reason she said she doesn't want to invite more...even though I explained that we want more people there...

I would let her know that SHE sure can have these two recipes at her show and which one would she like YOU to make? Stand your ground woman LOL

 

[NooraK]

Wow, that's a tough one. Without knowing more about the company she's with, I don't know if I can give you specific words, but maybe some ideas you can work with.

Ask her why her company encourages only 5-6 guests. Is it the products they demo? I could see if it was, say a clothing company and you actually tried things on, you wouldn't want 20 women trying things on all at once, it'd be chaos. "I can see why your company would only encourage you to have 5-6 guests. However, with the Pampered Chef, our demo is set up differently because..."

How much is her average order? If it's higher end products, and you've got average orders of $75 each, you'll have a $400+ show with just 6 guests. Let her know that your average order is $XX, so with 5 guests, her show will only be $XXX. "The average order at my shows is around $30. That means if you actually have five people attend and order, your show will only be $150, and you will only get $15 in free products. I want you to get much more than that."

Make a point to let her know, even if she only wants 5-6 guests there, she needs to invite about 3 times more. I know you said you told her that inviting 5-6 guests will yield 2-3 attendees, but did you tell her why? "There is never going to be one day that is going to work for every single person. Life happens, and Pampered Chef (or other home party) show just aren't a priority for most people. If they already have a commitment, they're not likely to cancel that for a PC party. If something comes up that day (even if it's just a long day at work), that will probably take priority over the show"

Let her know that you've been doing this for (however long), and this is what you've learned is necessary for the best shows.

Hope that helps!

 

[cookie325]

Thanks Jodi and Noora (Jodi, I love your quote, by the way). She's with Mary Kay, so they do make up demos, thus the only wanting the 5-6 people. I did try to explain to her why she should over-invite, and she keeps just saying "okay, I'll work on it" but I get the feeling she isn't. I do appreciate your words to say - I will definitely try that when I talk to her tomorrow.

 

[esavvymom]

I certainly wouldn't do more food for her. You can maybe say you'll make one recipe (pick the cheapest/easiest/best demo), and then you'll send her the recipe for the 2nd and she is welcome to make it or purchase the ingredients for it. Reminding her again that you'll do it with the 15+ guests confirmed.

 

[DebbieJ]

I certainly wouldn't do more food for her. You can maybe say you'll make one recipe (pick the cheapest/easiest/best demo), and then you'll send her the recipe for the 2nd and she is welcome to make it or purchase the ingredients for it. Reminding her again that you'll do it with the 15+ guests confirmed.

Just be clear that SHE has to make them. I once did this song and dance with a host only to walk into her kitchen half-hour before show time to a counter full of ingredients. She expected ME to make the other two recipes I had shared with her, only I didn't have any of the tools with me! I somehow managed, but it was aggravating to say the least!

 

[PCJenni]

I knew you were going to say Mary Kay! My advice would be to explain in explicit detail by 5 guest is not going to work. I mean be specific. "Susie, if you invite 6 people and 2 show up your show sales will be less the $100. I want you to understand that at $100 in guest sales, you will not earn ANY free or half priced products. You will not even be able to buy the hostess special at 60% off. Now, I know you "know" your business, and I know mine. If we get 10-15 people at the show, do you know that you will eanr $100-$200 in FREE products, plus 3 to 4 half priced products. Which sounds better to you?"

 

[cookie325]

Jenni - it sounds like you have a bit of experience with MK and their consultants! I love all of the wording you guys are giving me - I really appreciate it. I was starting to think I was crazy and/or being too harsh and/or just downright confusing her.

 

[BlueMoon]

I was starting to think I was crazy and/or being too harsh and/or just downright confusing her.

I was just reading some other hostess nightmare threads. Isn't it amazing how other people's bad behavior can make us feel like we are crazy or in the wrong?

Hang in there...you are sooo not harsh! You sound incredibly patient to me!

 

[cookie325]

I was just reading some other hostess nightmare threads. Isn't it amazing how other people's bad behavior can make us feel like we are crazy or in the wrong?

Sooooo true!!! I have never had this much trouble with host coaching...oy!

 

[chefsteph07]

This may be wrong of me to say, but if she's refusing to invite more than that, chances are, only 2 will show up and I'd be tempted to tell her if she's not going to invite more people, maybe you should just turn it into a catalog show. And then to want you to make 2 recipes? Only if she is going to have TEN outside orders...

I know MK is TRAINED to not invite more people, because it's too hard to do facials on alot of people at the same time, but she needs to realize that MK and PC are from totally different realms!

 

[scottcooks]

I think it is time to reason with her consultant to consultant. Explain your experience, and give her hard facts from several shows you've done. Show her that if there are 6 people there, the show will be about $250 and she will "get" about XYZ in products. If instead there are 14 people there, the show will be about $800 and she will "get" about ABC in products. Invite her to bring her downline to "check you out".Hopefully her attitude will shift.If she throws up another wall or suggests another recipe, she is going to be doing the same thing to her guests... "fire" her! Tell her 'something came up' and you are not available on that day, or give one of your downline an education and pass the show along to them.

 

[TheNewMrsRue]

HAving been a MK consultant, I totally understand her thought of only wanting 6 people there. That being said, grab her wish list & tell her like Scott says, if you want to get this, that & the other, than you MUST invite that many. Promise her you won't be feeding 40 people. Just like with MK, things come up last minute, people get sick, people don't feel like coming, people don't have money that they thought they'd have, etc. And so just like with Mary Kay, the 6 "confirmed" guests now becomes 2.

 

[Chef Gilles]

Bottom line is that it is HER show. She should be inviting the number of people she wants. She might know these people well and they might be buying for $100.00 or $200.00 each. One never knows. Responsibility lies on her to get as much Free or discounted products as she wants. I think a consultant job has been done to explain to the host the benefits of having more people so the show should go on even if there is only 2 guests present. As for food, that is the consultants call. Hope it turns out well! Good Luck!

 

[NooraK]

Bottom line is that it is HER show. She should be inviting the number of people she wants. She might know these people well and they might be buying for $100.00 or $200.00 each. One never knows. Responsibility lies on her to get as much Free or discounted products as she wants. I think a consultant job has been done to explain to the host the benefits of having more people so the show should go on even if there is only 2 guests present. As for food, that is the consultants call. Hope it turns out well! Good Luck!

That's true. It is the host's show. But it's also important for the Consultant to let the host know that if it doesn't reach $150, it won't be a show, and if you have 3 orders of $30 each, that isn't going to cut it.

 

[[email protected]]

Unless MK has changed in the past couple of years, the consultant doesn't actually do the facials; they're not supposed to touch the guests. They explain to everyone HOW to do it, and the guest does it themselves. My daughter sold MK and she never had a problem with 10 or more guests at a show. And no one ever told her she wasn't supposed to have that many....hmmm..

 

[cookie325]

I spoke with her today and we got the recipe thing figured out I think. I told her I would only provide ingredients for ONE recipe, and that she would need to provide ingredients for the other recipe if she wanted it, plus she would need to prepare it. She asked if I could do it before the show started, and I explained that I would be preparing for my demo, but that I would be happy to bring my products for her to use and she could prepare the second recipe while I was setting up if she wanted. She seemed okay with that.As far as the guest list thing - I understand both sides. I know its HER show, but its also MY show in that it is my income and my job for the evening, so I have to do everything I can to ensure that it is worth my time and money to be there. I hope that doesn't sound bad, but that is the reality. I have had that situation where I ended up playing caterer for the evening because no one showed up because the host only invited the 5 people that they "knew" would come. When I spoke with her tonight, I did explain WHY we wanted more people to attend and I got her wishlist and went over it with her. I explained that with only 1-2 people there, she would not be able to get everything she wanted (even if they each ordered $100). I also explained to her that when there are more people at a show, people usually have more fun and are more relaxed because no one feels pressured to buy, book, etc, and she said that made sense to her. So she is going to keep working on the guest list, and in the meantime, she is going to personally invite people from her church. I have an appointment to drop off some mini-catalogs to her tomorrow to give out at church, and we have another call scheduled for next week. I'm actually grateful for this host because it is FORCING me to work harder at host coaching than I ever have before!

 

[BlueMoon]

Nicole, I am feeling a little suspicious today.....are you sure you aren't just "catering" a MK party for her...? she's not going to demo products, right?Marghi

 

[pampchefsarah]

I'm actually grateful for this host because it is FORCING me to work harder at host coaching than I ever have before!

That is a great, positive, attitude!

I just noticed your signature. Your children have such beautiful names! I hope you can reach and exceed all of your goals.

 

[cookie325]

Nicole, I am feeling a little suspicious today.....are you sure you aren't just "catering" a MK party for her...? she's not going to demo products, right?

Marghi

I sure hope not! She's never mentioned anything about her MK stuff other than that she was a rep - but never said anything about displaying products.

That is a great, positive, attitude!

I just noticed your signature. Your children have such beautiful names! I hope you can reach and exceed all of your goals.

Thanks!! The names are all arabic - most people see my kids names and turn up their noses and don't even attempt to pronounce them! :grumpy:

I'm trying to be more positive lately. I hear positive attitudes lead to positive results. I'm currently testing that theory.

 

[cewcooks]

I did not read all the posts here, however, when I schedule parties my host always ask what they can do, I say just invite all the people you would want welcome in your house and I do the rest. It sounds like more work but it keeps me in control, all that I ask is they either e mail me the list or post it on my website within 24 hrs of the first call after the party date is confirmed. I do let the host know that I will be featuring a pc "fave" recipe (which is usually the one recipe that goes well with a combo of products) I would also stand your ground with the host, and don't let people play you...