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Horrible Accident

starrmarie

Member
Jan 15, 2008
174
0
Sunday night my DH, DD, Friends DD, and I were driving home from a day at the lake when we were the 3rd or 4th car to arrive at an accident. An SUV had hit a motorcycle head-on. I stayed in the car with the kids and my husband jumped out to see if he could help. It was really bad, and the lady that was on the bike died at the scene. Her husband was either following her or in front of her on his own bike and was not injured but obviously very upset. Apparently the driver of the SUV was drunk and crossed into the other lane, he was arrested for Homicide and DUI. Neither my husband nor I had ever been in a situation like this and it is all I have been able the think about since it happened (dreams and all). I thought my husband was handling it okay, but last night he came home from work and was very upset. He is thinking back to every moment and going over things he should have done to help her, and he is planning for us both to take CPR and First Response classes (which I think are a good idea anyway). Please pray for this woman’s family and friends and that she rests in peace. Please also pray that my husband can get past regretful thoughts and see that he did everything he could do.
 

Porchechef

Member
Jun 13, 2009
82
0
It is very difficult going through this and it sometimes makes people realize how short life can be. I can imagine why it hit your husband so hard because he saw another man lose his wife. That made your husband realize he could lose you just like that. I am praying for that family.
 

AudraKYPCLady

Novice Member
Mar 18, 2009
46
0
I am sorry you had to see that in person. I had a friend who was 13 weeks pregnant with her first child when she pulled up just seconds after her husband had been hit head on by a drunk driver. He was killed instantly. She was really messed up for a long time. It always seems that the drunk driver walks away. You and your husband did what you could, however, it is most likely that if you were and your husband were both emt's or even the best doctors in the world you probably could not have saved her. You were there for her husband during that time and that is what you need to think about. You did what you could and that is all anyone could ask. I'm sorry you had to come across an accident like that.
 

Melissa78

Veteran Member
Gold Member
May 10, 2009
1,122
5
Starr - A very good friend of the family was riding behind her husband on his motorcycle last year and watched an elderly lady make an illegal turn on the interstate (into one of those emergency only turnarounds) and she broadsided our friend on his motorcycle, with the wife driving directly behind him. Watched every second of it including him flying thru the air. He was killed upon impact. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers as I have seen someone first hand go thru almost the same exact thing (minus the DUI driver). One year later the wife still cannot speak to you without crying. My heart goes out to you.
 

pampchefsarah

Senior Member
Gold Member
Mar 24, 2008
2,212
1
You STOPPED! You stopped, and your husband actually got out of the car. There was a quiz on Facebook going around a couple of weeks ago, and one of the questions was what would you do in this type of situation. I said I would stop and try to help, but thinking about it later, I realize I probably would drive by and say a prayer, figuring there was nothing I could do, since I'm not medically trained.

You didn't drive by, you cared more about the other people than your own discomfort. You are heros, whether a life was saved or not. Just as has been said, there probably would have been nothing your husband could do, anyway. I agree, however, that taking the training courses is a good idea, so next time you know you've done everything possible. Still, you are both heros in my heart.
 

janetupnorth

Legend Member
Gold Member
Jan 26, 2007
15,120
2
Starr - please call your local hospital or Fire Department and ask to speak to them. Explain that you stopped for the accident and would like a stress debriefing. They should offer this for FREE to both of you! If you need any help connecting yourself to them yell.

I STRONGLY advise you go through this process. It will take time to go back to normal. Based on the description of the accident you did all you could and then some. That's why it is called an ACCIDENT. First Aid and CPR is great to take, but you are no good with anything if you and your family aren't first. You need to be mentally and physically back to normal. Just so you know your reactions are 100% NORMAL. I'm out of town still but if you have any questions, feel free to PM me. My DH and I are both firefighters, EMTs and CPR instructor trainers. We've been there with the physical reactions the thoughts and other things. It will get better, it is normal, but you need to talk it out and deal with it and emergency service personnel in the area should be providing what you need.

Take care!
 

twinkie10

Member
Gold Member
Feb 24, 2008
481
0
Starr - A very good friend of the family was riding behind her husband on his motorcycle last year and watched an elderly lady make an illegal turn on the interstate (into one of those emergency only turnarounds) and she broadsided our friend on his motorcycle, with the wife driving directly behind him. Watched every second of it including him flying thru the air. He was killed upon impact. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers as I have seen someone first hand go thru almost the same exact thing (minus the DUI driver). One year later the wife still cannot speak to you without crying. My heart goes out to you.

Believe it or not, this happened again near my area, but it was his fellow drivers following him that had to witness this illegal u-turn kill his buddy on a bike. How terrible. Rules are for our protection and the protection of others!!!

Prayers out to all!
 

susanr613

Senior Member
Gold Member
Oct 18, 2007
2,053
0
What a terrible shame. It just burns me up that multiple DUI offenders are, well, multiple meaning that they are given their licenses back. I could go into a diatribe on the views we have of the dangers of alcohol (legal) versus other intoxicants (illegal) but this is not the place.

What Sarah and Janet said are so true - you cared enough to stop and you need counseling to process this trauma.

I pray that you and your family are able to process this and share what you have learned so that others don't have to experience it.

Prayers also to the victims and perpetrator.
 

starrmarie

Member
Jan 15, 2008
174
0
I am sorry you had to see that in person. I had a friend who was 13 weeks pregnant with her first child when she pulled up just seconds after her husband had been hit head on by a drunk driver. He was killed instantly. She was really messed up for a long time. It always seems that the drunk driver walks away. You and your husband did what you could, however, it is most likely that if you were and your husband were both emt's or even the best doctors in the world you probably could not have saved her. You were there for her husband during that time and that is what you need to think about. You did what you could and that is all anyone could ask. I'm sorry you had to come across an accident like that.

That's the truth! He walked away without a scratch on him and his car was totaled. He not only hit the Motorcycle, but after that he ended up head on into a rock wall on the side of the road. He jumped out of the car like he just parked it at home. He didn't even know what happened. When told he killed someone, he came after my husband like he was going to fight him or something. It really should have been this guy that was killed, not an innocent woman driving home.

Thank you everyone for your prayers. It seams like it's getting better as time passes. I just keep thinking about her husband and how he must feel. This has to be the hardest thing he has ever had to deal with, please keep praying for him and his family.
 
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