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Hello Ladies,Feeling Discouraged. My Recruit Has 2 Recruits and

In summary, the conversation revolves around a situation where a recruit sent out a plea for help to a group of women who get together once a month to cook and share ideas, but one of the women's 3rd line recruits (3rd generation of recruits) sent out an e-mail saying she should only receive support from her and her 1st line recruit. This has caused hurt feelings and some are questioning the dynamics of working with other women in this business.
chefjwr
621
Hello Ladies,

Feeling discouraged. My recruit has 2 recruits and one of them has a recruit. We all get together to cook once a month when possible. We met last Tuesday and shared ideas, tried a recipe and discussed it all. Then on Friday I saw that the recruit in my 3rd line had sent out an e-mail plea for help (to me and this whole group) late on Thursday night saying that her friend had had a party for her and after the FEDEX delivery could not find where it had been delivered-- it was not at her address. She wanted advice. I told her to 1st call the home office for advice and what their remedy would be, then check the address on the delivery and 3rd update all of us after she spoke to the apartment office in case they had received it and put it away. I received a very short and direct e-mail from my 1st line recruit saying that I should "Please allow Holly (1st) and I (2nd) to provide new consultant support and leadership to her recruits."

This hurt my feelings. Should it have? :cry:
 
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I am not following who is who? Who is the recruiter? Who is the director?
 
Considering that she sent her plea for help to everyone, I think it was appropriate for anyone (including you) to respond back to her.
 
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  • #4
Carolyn, To clarify. This lady that needed help is in my 3rd line. Me and my downline all know each other. Her plea was sent out to all of us. I am not a director yet because I only have 1 recruit personally. This lady that needed help is the recruit of my recruit's recruit--3rd line. Make sense??
 
Julie,

It would have hurt my feelings too. I think you should directly respond to your recruit and explain why you did what you did. If she and her recruit feel it necessary to be the only ones to give their recruits support, then they should train their recruits to contact only them. Then if they can't answer the question they should come to you. It's a real bummer that she (your recruit) feels this way because it really puts their recruits at a disadvantage.

Hugs!
 
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  • #6
Thanks Sarah

I did respond just after saying I was sorry to interfere but was just trying to help someone who asked me. Then, with no response back, after thinking about it over the weekend, I responded saying that I needed to know what they would like me to do in the event she asks my advice again-- ignore her or refer her to them? Also, requested that she instruct her recruit to direct questions just to them so that the girl won't think that I am unwilling to help her. I have not heard back yet from them. Just feel sad that it is such a problem. I have felt like that my direction and help has always been good and that we were all helping each other.
 
Wow, how crazy! I do usually only send questions to my director but would never shy away from somebody asking me a question.
 
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  • #8
I have been feeling like it was time for me to move on and just keep a minimal business going. Sometimes it is because of disappointments and too much inablity to know what is coming. Now, I am feeling this is a sign from God. I have just returned from church camp. I was not sharing this interest in slowing down to my downline because I didn't want to discourage them or disappoint or let them down. I guess now I know my recruit is not interested in my support---a SIGN. What do you think?
 
You run your business how you want to run it, don't let others discourage you! You did the right thing weither they think so or not!
 
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  • #10
Recruits are part of the business and what gets you the trips. It is so hard to get there and now I am not so interested. I worked awhile with my recruit before she came on board. I have always been so satisfied that I had recruited the right person for this business. If it all goes this way. .. Plus have you ever found that working with other women usually results in this kind of thing??
 
  • #11
chefjwr said:
Recruits are part of the business and what gets you the trips. It is so hard to get there and now I am not so interested. I worked awhile with my recruit before she came on board. I have always been so satisfied that I had recruited the right person for this business. If it all goes this way. .. Plus have you ever found that working with other women usually results in this kind of thing??
This business has all kinds of people in it, that's what makes it work. Sometimes, people will just not get along no matter what you do. Like I said above, please do not let others discourage you from your business! It is so worth it to do this for yourself. Some consultants don't need direction or guidance after a while, that's up to them. Ask them what they need from you.
 
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  • #12
Thanks for the advice. I could try breaking away from this group and letting them go.
 
  • #13
chefjwr said:
Thanks for the advice. I could try breaking away from this group and letting them go.
It happens, trust me. Sometimes you have to do what's best for your business. Do you have a director that you are close to that you can bounce ideas off?
 
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  • #14
She is very driven and has been supportive in the past but is now occupied with trying to promote a director. My recruit is doing so well that I think she may feel that she is more of an asset than I am. I also don't want to stir up anything by going to someone else. I really have thought about it.
 
  • #15
Hey there!


I was reading through all the posts and I started feeling sad for you. It makes me so sad to think you don't want to further your business because of someone else. I think you did a great job helping your recruits, recruits, recruit. I would have done the same thing and probably felt the same way once it was all said and done. Remember we will all have good days and all have bad days. We will all be here for you when you have either. I hope you wake up tomorrow and find its a better day. I hope you will get a sign that will cause you to believe you should stay with the business. Good luck!!!!!
 
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  • #16
Oh, you are sooo sweet when I feel like crying. Thank you. My husband says not to think about it anymore. I am such a woman. I just keep thinking it is a sign and that what I felt was so positive has now been so sad and that God wants me to do something else. I just don't get paid enough for the hard work and with only 1 recruit, I know that when she passes me, I will lose the downline that could be mine. I have no competitiveness and this has really made me want to move on. I was at about $1000 per month in my first year, but I worked so hard for it and have come to find that if I don't recruit a lot, I will not move on to those very glamourous rewards aka TRIPS and jewelry. Now, I feel like the venture into recruiting that I did so well has really gone bad and I will lose it anyway. Do I want to set myself up for this kind of uncertainty that is a natural party of this business. Please speak some wisdom to counter balance these thoughts.

I appreciate you all are always here for me and anonymous so that I can reach out without causing turmoil. Thank you so much girls/guys.
 
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  • #17
Good Morning! Still worrying about this. Can you believe it? Any other advice or opinions out there?
 
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  • #18
Good Morning! Still worrying about this. Can you believe it? Any other advice or opinions out there?
 
  • #19
chefjwr said:
Carolyn, To clarify. This lady that needed help is in my 3rd line. Me and my downline all know each other. Her plea was sent out to all of us. I am not a director yet because I only have 1 recruit personally. This lady that needed help is the recruit of my recruit's recruit--3rd line. Make sense??

Ok - now I think I understand it more clearly.
This is your recruit and their recruits, etv...they are not your first, second and third line - they are YOUR director's first line. Technically, it is YOUR director's responsibility to train these people, and to train you. You have no technical responsibility to any of tem until you promote to director and I think this is where it is getting all muddled up.

Where is your director in all of this? It sounds like you are a group of consultants training one another without a director to train or direct you? You need to get your director involved and get her training her team.

But, in the immediate...just in this little situation...I am in agreement with Linda..if this plea was sent out to everyone, then, of course, you had a right to respond.
 
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  • #20
Hi Carolyn,

Me and my recruit have the same director. She is fabulous and will always help with anything. I don't believe this lady with the FEDEX problem sent her plea out to the director. I think because we had all gotten together recently and there was a helpful vibe about the meeting. At this point, my recruit has 3 recruits so she has promoted to future director. However, after I recruited her, I helped her and gave advice and she came to me for questions and if I didn't know I would refer her to my/our director. She knew me better and we had had an ongoing relationship since she first showed interest in the business. I had been working the business long enough and was her support and always with the director to help when needed.
 
  • #21
Have you asked her WHY she didn't want you to respond? Maybe she is trying to act like a director or something???
 
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  • #22
Good question Kate. I guess that is what I shoud have done. I sent a message that said "sorry to interfere. I was just trying to help someone who asked me." I thought this would result in an answer as to why she was making the request--- but no. Then after a weekend, I sent an e-mail to say that I wanted clarification -- did she want me to ignore further requests for help or just ignore this lady if she asks. I also requested she inform the lady to only come to the 1st and 2nd. line. I still did not get a answer as to why just a e-mail note saying that she had already answered the request and a copy of what was sent that said that she and the 2nd line are always available and to call night or day!! However, the note she sent to the lady did not tell her not to come to anyone else. I had said that I wanted that so that the lady does not think I don't want to help her.

Although she did say in the note to the lady that she just didn't want more people than necessary upset about problems.

I don't think that helping someone that you are friendly with is a source of upset. I think we should all help each other.
 
  • #23
One suggestion, make sure you and your recruits (and so on) know that THEY are in your director's FIRST LINE!!! You are all in the same boat until you or one of them becomes a director. And, if your recruit promotes, you have 3 months to promote yourself before losing the new director to your director.
 
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  • #24
Is it somehow inappropriate for this lady to ask advice from someone other than the future director above her recruiter? My recruit ( now the future director) seems to feel she and the lady's recruiter are the only ones that should answer these questions.
 
  • #25
It isn't inappropriate, but your director is the one who is responsible for training ALL of you until someone becomes a director. So, technically you are all sister consultants, not in each other's down and uplines.
 
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  • #26
There you go Kate. That is what I have always thought. I am actually the one longest in the business and am always happy to help or to ask for advice from what I thought was a friend group. Her response makes me feel excluded from a group that I helped initiate.
 
  • #27
chefjwr said:
There you go Kate. That is what I have always thought. I am actually the one longest in the business and am always happy to help or to ask for advice from what I thought was a friend group. Her response makes me feel excluded from a group that I helped initiate.

Why not take this and use it. Do all you can to promote yourself to Director. Renew your efforts to find more recruits. Go back over your leads and start making phone calls and looking for referrals.

In some ways your recruit reminds me of my own recruiter (a future director). While I love her dearly as she is a really good friend, she is also a self admitted control freak. If I went to our Director with questions, she felt betrayed as she felt that she should be the one answering me. Long story short, she is no longer a consultant, as she ended up burning herself out.

Use this phone call as your incentive to promote rather than drive you out of the business, especially since it doesn't sound like you want to give up PC.
 
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  • #28
Thanks Debbie. I wiill consider it. I just don't know if I can take the uncertaintly of this business. I appreciate your take on this and I will try to let it work on my mind and change how I am feeling.
 
  • #29
You can budget with this business. All you have to do is figure out how much money you need and, using your show average, how many shows each month you need to do. Then you get on that phone and book more than you need - don't give up until you are where you want to be. I have been earning over $1K each month for the past 5 months. I am now working on getting to $2K each month.
 
  • #30
chefjwr said:
Thanks Debbie. I wiill consider it. I just don't know if I can take the uncertaintly of this business. I appreciate your take on this and I will try to let it work on my mind and change how I am feeling.

Oh, I know exactly where you are in your mind. I was there! I was inactive for almost 11 months! I was going to give up the business when someone I had met the year before contacted me and wanted a show. I quickly got myself active by host a small catalog show and have been active and working my business since. Granted I am not where I want to be yet with my business but this time around I'm more determined.

Give yourself time before making any snap decisions.
 
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  • #31
Kate has your monthly show total been $1000 or the amount your earned? Either way--that is wonderful.
 

1. Why do I feel discouraged when my recruit has recruits of their own?

Feeling discouraged when your recruit has recruits of their own is a common experience for many consultants. It can be difficult to see your own recruits branching out and receiving support and guidance from others. However, it is important to remember that this is a natural part of the recruitment process and a sign of success in your business.

2. How often should I get together with my recruits?

It is important to maintain regular communication and connection with your recruits. Many consultants find that getting together once a month is a good frequency, but it ultimately depends on your individual schedules and preferences. You can also stay connected through email, phone calls, and virtual meetings.

3. What should I do if my recruit is struggling or needs help?

If your recruit reaches out to you for help, it is important to provide support and guidance. First, encourage them to reach out to the home office for advice and assistance. Then, suggest checking the delivery address and contacting the apartment office if necessary. Finally, follow up with your recruit to see if they were able to resolve the issue and offer any additional support they may need.

4. How should I handle a situation where my recruit turns to someone else for support?

It is natural for recruits to seek support and guidance from different sources, including fellow consultants. Instead of feeling hurt or upset, try to view this as a positive sign that your recruit feels comfortable reaching out for help. You can also use this as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your recruit by offering support and guidance in addition to what they receive from others.

5. Should I feel hurt if my recruit asks for support from someone else in my downline?

No, you should not feel hurt if your recruit turns to someone else in your downline for support. This is a common occurrence and does not reflect on your abilities as a leader. Instead, use this as an opportunity to collaborate with your downline and provide even stronger support for your recruits together.

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