:Grumpy:i Need Prayer!!! I Am Going to Choke My Dh!!!!! Dh

[Kitchen Diva]

:grumpy:I need Prayer!!!

I am going to CHOKE my DH!!!!!

DH just put a HUGE hole in my house and started a fire in the walls trying to fix an outside water spiggot for the hose... It's windy and the man is playing with a torch and now I have a huge hole in my house, siding that had to get torn off to stop the fire, and 4 gallons of water sitting in between the walls soaking the carpet in my basement and ruining the sheet-rock, wallpaper and carpet....and for those of you that don't know- we just got new siding this week--- and now it's ruined!!!!!

 

[susanr613]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!OMG Kacey - I am so sorry!!!!

what else is there to say?

 

[pampchefrhondab]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Oh my gosh that is terrible. I would be so upset!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!THERE'S A HOLE IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started crying and told him to please call a plumber. DH is brilliant with his hands and can fix almost anything...but a plumber and a welder he is NOT! I'm taking that torch when he's done with it and I'm making Creme Brulee, and I'm NOT sharing any of them with him!!!

Fine, I'll share but not until I'm done pouting about the HOLE in MY NEWLY SIDED HOUSE!!!!!! and the water inbetween the walls, and the smoke smell, and the damaged insulation, and the HOLE that has to be covered and the paper they put over that, and the siding that has to be replaced....

Ugh! I'm going to go scream in my pillow...

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Okay, I know it's not funny...in fact, I would be feeling like crying too if I were you - but even with this, you are a very funny storyteller. I'm sorry, but it made me laugh!

Don't make me laugh if you're looking for sympathy, Kacey!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

Okay, I know it's not funny...in fact, I would be feeling like crying too if I were you - but even with this, you are a very funny storyteller. I'm sorry, but it made me laugh!

Don't make me laugh if you're looking for sympathy, Kacey!

Sorry- I always try to find the humor in everything---but the DUDE put a HOLE in MY HOUSE! WHAZZUUP BROTHER?!?!?!?!!

The hole is the size of a REALLY large Basketball!

Ugh- now I hear a power tool... hang on- I have to make sure he isn't getting ready to saw into the 2x4's...

Ooops, too late.


AAAARRRRRGGGGGG and I don't mean that in a Piratey sort of way!

 

[raebates]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!You poor thing. I don't blame you for considering homicide. One day, a long, long, loooooong time from now, you'll be able to look back at this and laugh. For now, scream in your pillow, stick your tongue out at him, vent to us, . . .

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

Okay, I know it's not funny...in fact, I would be feeling like crying too if I were you - but even with this, you are a very funny storyteller. I'm sorry, but it made me laugh!

Don't make me laugh if you're looking for sympathy, Kacey!

It is sort of funny- maybe I should laugh to keep from crying...

So DH just came in the house and said: "Hey, I never said I was a plumber, I just play one on the weekends!"

I'm going to choke him- Yup, choke the ever-living stuffing out of him!:yuck:

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

You poor thing. I don't blame you for considering homicide. One day, a long, long, loooooong time from now, you'll be able to look back at this and laugh. For now, scream in your pillow, stick your tongue out at him, vent to us, . . .

Did I mention the hole? I can't seem to get past the fact that there's a hole in my house.

Crap- we just bought a new doorbell, and he has to make the hole we have for the old one bigger so it will fit the new one---I'm seriously considering hiding all his tools.

Again, he's a genius with his hands and can fix almost anything... but starting the inside of my walls on fire and having to tear through the siding and the paper and the outside walls of the house to get in there to dump water is a little more of a screw up than I care to handle...

 

[raebates]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!I understand. The Furry Guy once set some stuff on fire right beside the barn. He's a genius when it comes to building and fixing things. He just "mis-figured the wind" while burning some scrap stuff.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

I understand. The Furry Guy once set some stuff on fire right beside the barn. He's a genius when it comes to building and fixing things. He just "mis-figured the wind" while burning some scrap stuff.

I am off to find chocolate... I'll be paying for it later tonight with a bad stomach ache, but I feel it's better than breaking open a bottle of Jack Daniels! LOL

thanks for your support guys. I should go take pictures...maybe not!

 

[pampered.chris]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

I am off to find chocolate... I'll be paying for it later tonight with a bad stomach ache, but I feel it's better than breaking open a bottle of Jack Daniels! LOL

thanks for your support guys. I should go take pictures...maybe not!

OH no Kacey!! I am so sorry. Sending prayers for the frustration..."God grant Kacey the serenity to accept the things she can not change, the courage to change the things she can and the ability to shove her husband in the hole he made in the wall."

But you are a funny story teller...I would be breaking open the Jack and plotting the homicide right now!!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Well, DH is back from the hardware store with a nice hunk of plywood for the hole, and some copper pipe and strangely enough the torch is still out there... along with soggy pieces of bread? Why bread you may ask? Well, that's a good quiestion so I asked Professor Plumbermeister that is my DH...what's with the soggy bread on the ground. And he said it's to soak up the water in the line.

Um, okay dear- whatever you say! LOL

I'm soooo hitting a box of brownie mix right now!!!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

OH no Kacey!! I am so sorry. Sending prayers for the frustration..."God grant Kacey the serenity to accept the things she can not change, the courage to change the things she can and the ability to shove her husband in the hole he made in the wall."

But you are a funny story teller...I would be breaking open the Jack and plotting the homicide right now!!

Too bad my gift isn't in keeping my husband from starting fires.

Crap- I smell smoke again!!! :cry:

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Well- the hole is now twice the size it was before I went to buy some pancetta for the risotto I'm making for super tonight... I guess the shut off valve is faulty so DH has to dig into the ceiling through the outside of the house and is now trying to replace pipes.

I'm trying to find my passport... I think I'll go to France for the rest of the weekend.

 

[christinaspc]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!OMG Kacey !!!!! I am sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for my friend to get our of her class we are in portland and I am getting weird looks as people walk by from me laughin at your story I know it isn't funny but omg it is so funny sounding. I feel for you !!!!! I really hope you find the silver lining in this.

I will pray for you and the tools and pray for hubby to live through this as well before you squeeze the stuffin out of him.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

Well- the hole is now twice the size it was before I went to buy some pancetta for the risotto I'm making for super tonight... I guess the shut off valve is faulty so DH has to dig into the ceiling through the outside of the house and is now trying to replace pipes.

I'm trying to find my passport... I think I'll go to France for the rest of the weekend.

Hey Kacey - have you ever read the children's book "Alexander and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"?
http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/book.jsp?id=613

I think you should just move to Australia.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

Hey Kacey - have you ever read the children's book "Alexander and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"?
http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/book.jsp?id=613

I think you should just move to Australia.

I LOVE that book! Loved it as a child and LOVE it as an adult! I might just move to Australia!

So John came into the house and said, Honey- I can't fix the hole. I came running out of my den and said as calmly as I could..."Sweetheart, I don't care if you kill yourself trying to fix that hole because if you don't, I'll kill you, so either way...

Then he smirked---darn smirk and darn dimples! He was teasing me! UGH I took one of the pots that he used to douse water on the fire he started and went to smack him with it!!!

He did say that he didn't have anything to fix a hole, but he could fix a sqaure, so he's sawing into the side of the house to make the hole a square so he can fix it.

He asked what was for supper. I told him I was making myself a pan of brownies...but I wasn't sure what he'd be fixing for himself! LOL... don't worry ladies, we had a late lunch so I don't cook supper on the nights we have a late lunch. I was going to make risotto, but my local grocery store does not sell Pancetta! What the heck!!!???

How can you NOT sell Pancetta? Crazy! So no risotto tonight, I'll have to run to the fancy high priced super market in the neighboring snobby-city to find some I guess. I could have sworn I've purchased Pancetta from my neighborhood grocery store before, but I must not have.... I use it often enough, you'd think I'd remember!

 

[EdraJayne]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Oh Kacey! I feel your pain. Our plumber has banned my husband from even THINKING about touching pipes and such. The shower in our master bath has been dripping for a month and dh promises he will not destroy anything this time but I absolutely REFUSE to let him try.

http://burntchai.blogspot.com/2006/06/multiple-choice-quiz.html
Here is just one of his plumbing adventures. When he yelled from the outside "tell me if it's working" then I heard a huge splash I knew he was up to no good.

Geesh... husbands!

 

[pampered.chris]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!At least there is some light at the end of this!!

I am glad to hear that he is able to fix the hole. Sorry to hear about the Pancetta!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!I think the light at the end of the tunnel is actually a hole in the wall.If it were me, I'd be looking for a room at the Holiday Inn. Or at least the back seat of the car.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

I think the light at the end of the tunnel is actually a hole in the wall.

If it were me, I'd be looking for a room at the Holiday Inn. Or at least the back seat of the car.

LOL- thankfully the sheetrock that faces the outside of the house is covered in a thick plastic- so the water we threw down the inside of the walls will be soaked up by the carpet- which I can deal with. We're recarpeting within the next year anyway.

The outside water spiggot is now working and is no longer leaking and DH is fixing the square (was a hole until he made it a square) now and it looks good.

the man is a genius with his hands, but not so much a genius before that... thankfully he can fix anything, but this one made me nervous and he admitted it made him nervous, too...

BTW- Hampton Inn has much more comfy beds than Holiday Inn...just in case the Kat Lady ever boots you out of the house!

 

[janetupnorth]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

It is sort of funny- maybe I should laugh to keep from crying...

So DH just came in the house and said: "Hey, I never said I was a plumber, I just play one on the weekends!"

I'm going to choke him- Yup, choke the ever-living stuffing out of him!:yuck:

Tell him next time he decides he wants to play plumber, that you want a night with him at a Holiday Inn Express first...

That way you can have some "couple fun" and he'll be better prepared.

 

[janetupnorth]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Man, missed KG suggesting that first...But I'd go with the "Holiday Inn Express" for the "educational" benefits.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

Man, missed KG suggesting that first...

But I'd go with the "Holiday Inn Express" for the "educational" benefits.

You naughty married minx, you!

The hole is fixed, the faucet works, the siding is up and you'd never even know that there was a fire, a small flood, and a hole! Well except for all the chunks of wood he tore away with his hands to stop the fire, and all the soldering droplets that are sprinkled in my landscaping...

I told him that I now have official rights to call him Sparky! (which I've been doing since we met, as during our first kiss, we shocked each other) and he hates it when I call him that- because of National Lampoon's- the wife calls Chevy Chases character "Sparky"

All is well in Kitchen Diva land again!

 

[janetupnorth]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!We usually only call electricians "Sparky"...Plumbers...well, they get called other things......and hey, I'm not the naughty one! DH is! I studied so much this past week for my radio tests that DH e-mailed me an e-book and said I am to study that next...want to know what book it was?

Spoiler

Kama Sutra Book

 

[KellyTheChef]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

Oh Kacey! I feel your pain. Our plumber has banned my husband from even THINKING about touching pipes and such. The shower in our master bath has been dripping for a month and dh promises he will not destroy anything this time but I absolutely REFUSE to let him try.

http://burntchai.blogspot.com/2006/06/multiple-choice-quiz.html
Here is just one of his plumbing adventures. When he yelled from the outside "tell me if it's working" then I heard a huge splash I knew he was up to no good.

Geesh... husbands!

Oh, my goodness! I am not sure which of the two of you deserve the STANDING OVATION for not committing homicide! Kacey, you tell a wicked funny (even if it's not funny ha-ha for you right now!) and Jayne...you get first prize for the best blog entry I have seen in quite some time!

(I am laughing and crying for both of you!)






This goes to BOTH of your hubbys:

 

[KellyTheChef]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

All is well in Kitchen Diva land again!

Yeah! Tell DH to go take a shower and then find something FUN to do! You guys have had enough stress tonight (and the last YEAR) so you need it!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

Man, missed KG suggesting that first...

But I'd go with the "Holiday Inn Express" for the "educational" benefits.

You're gonna have to drive quite a ways if you want to try that yourself.

You don't have a Holiday Inn Express.

 

[janetupnorth]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

You're gonna have to drive quite a ways if you want to try that yourself.

You don't have a Holiday Inn Express.

Yup, we don't even have a Holiday Inn anymore as of a few weeks ago!


We just study and learn the stuff so we don't have to stay at a Holiday Inn Express to be experts - he-he...

Spoiler

So I'm wondering how many have never seen the commercial and didn't get the original joke again anyway...

 

[Intrepid_Chef]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!OH MY, Kacey!!!

I'm so glad it's all better now!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Yes, DH is happy it is over and admitted that one almost kicked his butt! He laughs at how mad I got at him! I'm glad he laughed- normally he gets upset with me for being upset with him for doing something seriously huge to upset me- like starting the house on fire and putting a huge hole in my house to fix said fire, and the outside faucet that was dripping!

But he did a great job, and it's all good, and you can't even tell that my house was torn up. I did hide the torch when he was in the shower... he can't use that any more!!!!!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

Oh, my goodness! I am not sure which of the two of you deserve the STANDING OVATION for not committing homicide! Kacey, you tell a wicked funny (even if it's not funny ha-ha for you right now!) and Jayne...you get first prize for the best blog entry I have seen in quite some time!

(I am laughing and crying for both of you!)






This goes to BOTH of your hubbys:

Thank you! I'm happy to entertain! And Edra Jayne... You poor, poor woman! You deserve the royal crown of patience!!!

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

We usually only call electricians "Sparky"...

Plumbers...well, they get called other things...

The 8th and 9th dwarfs that you never read about were Sparky and Leaky. At least, Snow White never had a hole put in her house.

 

[janetupnorth]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

The 8th and 9th dwarfs that you never read about were Sparky and Leaky. At least, Snow White never had a hole put in her house.

At least not that you'd read about in the storybooks...of course, you never know what REALLY happened.

Maybe Santa Claus even showed up now and then?

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!I was never near the place. But I do know what happened. Since this is a family site, I can't tell you the real story.Another thread successfully hijacked.

 

[tabnat80]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!At least you have this to hold over him the next time you make a big boo boo like running the lawn mower into your fence or hitting the mailbox with your car (speaking from personal experience)

 

[quiverfull7]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Oh my goodness!!!!! I'm sorry I missed this thread ealier and I'm sorry for all you've been through with this! I am happy to see that so many here came to the rescue and helped you laugh through it all!!!!!

 

[raebates]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Glad to hear the disaster's been fixed. Also glad to hear you didn't resort to homicide. I'd visit you in prison, but I'd rather just have lunch with you someday. I told The Furry Guy about your DH's adventure. He just laughed and shook his head. I honestly don't know whether he was empathizing with you or your DH. I was afraid to ask.

 

[KellyTheChef]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!I was laughing so hard last night, I had to go tell DH. I told him about Kacey and what was going on, and how she can make even a situation like that funny, and then showed him that blog page....he didn't quite "get it". Must be a guy thing...they don't want to laugh at each other too much!

 

[elizabethfox]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Glad to hear things have been fixed!

My DH sounds just like yours! He would rather try and fix something himself than call a professional. And while he normally is good at ANYTHING and EVERYTHING he does ( which makes me sick sometimes but he does have his "off" moments and things start going wacky! Like when he messed up the computer on our water heater and we had to pay $300 some bucks to get a new one! LOL

 

[Chefstover2]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Glad everything's better. I tried to tell my DH about your woes and he didn't get it...he's a pretty handy guy, too, but his weakness is he hardly ever finishes the job (i.e., fixing some rotted siding, but not replacing it with new stuff; installing new interior doors and moulding but not painting all of it).

I feel your pain but glad it was over as quick as it was.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

Glad to hear the disaster's been fixed. Also glad to hear you didn't resort to homicide. I'd visit you in prison, but I'd rather just have lunch with you someday.

I told The Furry Guy about your DH's adventure. He just laughed and shook his head. I honestly don't know whether he was empathizing with you or your DH. I was afraid to ask.

Probably was thinking I was over reacting- which I admited to DH I did- I apologized for getting so mad I slammed the front door... MY HOUSE WAS SMOKING- I was upset- I like having a house- it keeps the bugs out!

I think there is an ancient unspoken code that you NEVER empathize with the wife of a handy man that is trying to fix something and save money at the same time, even if the house could have burned down and even if it ended up costing more money to fix if a professional had come out to do it instead.

I also think that wives are a professional plumber, electrician and carpenter's best friend! LOL

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Plumbing isn't that difficult but it requires the use of a special vernacular that is best kept away from the ears of children.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

Plumbing isn't that difficult but it requires the use of a special vernacular that is best kept away from the ears of children.

LOL- must be the same vernacular that is required of retired Air Force Mechanics! LOL

However- he didn't swear, not even when the house was flaming! I am very proud!

 

[raebates]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!I can assure you he wasn't shaking his head over you. Other than, "She's ticked!" I didn't mention your response. I concentrated on the fact that there was now a hole in your house. When he comes in from tearing apart the dead Maverick in our yard, I'll let him know it's been fixed.

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

I can assure you he wasn't shaking his head over you. Other than, "She's ticked!" I didn't mention your response. I concentrated on the fact that there was now a hole in your house. When he comes in from tearing apart the dead Maverick in our yard, I'll let him know it's been fixed.

I think wanting to choke him was a pretty mild response after having to run down a flight of stairs to get to the burning hole in the wall, don't you? LOL

All is good once again in the Kitchen Diva household, and I even made risotto for DH for supper tonight. I figured he'd suffered enough after having me want to cease his breathing, and not cooking for him yesterday! He fixed everything and no real damage was done, and the house looks great and the drippy faucet is fixed! He's still a dork for setting the house on fire, but he's my hero for fixing a rather large mess! And he's also still a dork for telling me that he couldn't fix the hole...but then smirked and said he could fix a square!

 

[pcchefjane]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!I just read this! I too was laughing like crazy! I am so glad I do not have a male around to damage things... I would seriously have to hurt him! Great restraint there, Kitchen Diva!

 

[Kitchen Diva]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!

I just read this! I too was laughing like crazy! I am so glad I do not have a male around to damage things... I would seriously have to hurt him! Great restraint there, Kitchen Diva!

I'm happy to make you laugh!

It really was funny now that I look back on it- and even funnier that I got so upset, since I'm normally a very merciful person... I was so mad I slammed the front door, and stormed up the stairs and slammed my den door, too!

I'm just glad that DH had the fore-site to bring a few cups of water out with him before he started playing with the blow torch- had he not done that...we could have very well lost the front of our house, and both the lower level and the upper level because of the location of the fire!

God was looking out for us! We must have had angels fanning the flame down with their mighty wings!

 

[pcchefjane]

Re: Ugh!!!!!!Hey...no better "firefighters" than angels! Glad nothing was seriously damaged, including him! LOL! I love your "Everything will be okay in the end. If everything is not okay, it is not the end!" I'll have to remember that one!