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Friend/Host Who Dropped the Ball

In summary, the author vents about a bad experience they had with a friend who didn't follow through with hosting a show. The author successfully qualified in 30 days despite the difficulties.
ms_twana
165
Sorry this is so long. But I needed to vent and ask some advice on how to handle this situation.

Okay. Yesterday was my 30th day. A church friend of mine held the last show within my 30 day period. I was only $300 away from goal at that point. Well, whenever I tried to call and host coach her, she didn't answer. She changed the date of the show at the last minute and never sent me a guest list. She said she sent the invitations herself. So we get to the show last Saturday and there are TWO people there. One of our other church members came over and my host said to her "I didn't even think to invite you." That's how I know she didn't invite the 40 people that I told her to. The guest sales for that show was about $50. :thumbdown:

I made the mistake of telling her my ACTUAL deadline for getting orders in (I'll NEVER do that again). So everyday this past week I called her to see where she was on getting orders. She just kept saying she had people that wanted to order. So we get to Friday (my 30th day) and she said she had two people whose checks she needed to go pick up at about 10:00 P.M. Ten o'clock came and went with no phone call. Ten thirty came and went with no phone call and with her not answering my call. Well at 11:00 I called and left her a message (because she didn't answer) saying that I was putting her show in at 11:15 with or without the other orders. And that's what I ended up doing because she never called me back. :mad: UGH!!!

I submitted that show at about 11:45. I'm STILL very angry with her. Of the $218 show that I submitted last night, $145 of it was from me pulling in orders. So, I used those host benefits myself. Is that wrong?? I do not feel comfortable giving her the benefits when I pulled the orders in. Luckily, I had a co-worker who had wanted the DCB, so that item took me to my goal. The host wanted a DCB as well, so I ordered it and that took my commissionable sales up to the $300 that I needed

So anyway, I vented about all of that because I don't really know how to handle her at this point. She STILL hasn't called and said a word to me. We're not good friends or anything. We work together on our church's women's ministry. But, we are cool enough for me to not expect that from her. At this point, I really don't even want to talk to her. What should I say??
 
It has happened to all of us at least once. The details vary but it is essentially the same....and we've all survived. And you did what I would have done. I had a show once that was to be at someone's office. Long story short- after multiple reschedules and hassle getting ahold of her. At the actual lunch-show I basically got kicked out of the office by her HR person...the host didn't do her part in checking policy. Ugh. So I left the food that was already prepared, and she took catalogs and orders. She got about $50 in orders. I gathered about $150 in other orders to make it a show, and kept the host benefits. If your host didn't have the $150 in orders, she didn't have a show. YOU had the orders, so it was your show.You've vented- which helps you feel better, now you can "BLess and Release" as many say. You've learned a few things I'm sure from this experience, as we all do. And now you'll do things a bit differently next time.Good job by the way in qualifying in 30 days!!
 
Sorry you had such a rough time with this one, but CONGRATS on qualifying!! It feels great, doesn't it?
 
  • Thread starter
  • #4
OH it feels WONDERFUL!!! And I really need to just let it go, and move on. In the end, I still qualified!!!!
 
You qualified - and learned a hard lesson early on. In my opinion "friends" make the worst hosts 90% of the time. Of course, a lot of that is me. I don't feel as comfortable host coaching a friend. I feel funny telling them what to do. But they don't know, they need to be told. That is just my hangup. But even when I do tell them, they usually don't listen like a standard host does.

Congratulations - glad you can take your frustration out here and be able to calmly deal with your host when she does decide to contact you.
 
Sometimes friends and family feel like they're doing you a favor by hosting a show, which leads to an unmotivated host. Then again, some people are just not particularly good at hosting. It happens. As we say here, bless and release.
 
  • Thread starter
  • #7
pcsharon1 said:
You qualified - and learned a hard lesson early on. In my opinion "friends" make the worst hosts 90% of the time.

raebates said:
Sometimes friends and family feel like they're doing you a favor by hosting a show, which leads to an unmotivated host.

Those statements have SOOO been the case with my last two shows. I finally emailed her today to let her know that the order will come to my house. Since she didn't answer the phone, I couldn't get her address entered. She said she didn't call me back because no one called her back. REALLY??? And you didn't think a curteousy call saying, "Hey. I don't have any more orders. No one called me back" would have been appropriate??? UGH!! Then she had the nerves to tell me that she didn't want the DCB and that she wish she could have picked out her own stuff instead of what I ASSUMED she wanted!!! :eek: WHAT??? I politely informed her that I wish she could have picked her items as well, however my hands were tied when she didn't answer or return my phone calls and I needed to submit my order by midnight.

I really did have to pray before I pressed the send button. My initial response was not nice AT ALL. After praying and asking God to lead my words, I decided to respond as the Pampered Chef Consultant instead of the friend. But we DO need to have a conversation in person, or over the phone so that I CAN tell her how I felt about her not taking my business seriously and how not calling me on Friday night, when she KNEW that was my deadline, was just WRONG.

This really makes me want to reconsider calling my friends and asking them to host a show. I have another friend that I'm tempted to cancel on. She doesn't really want to do the show anyway. I can tell in her voice. But it's also SAT, so I don't want to miss the chance either. After this, I think I'll just work on leads from other shows. I don't want to mix friends and business again. :yuck:
 
I wouldn't cancel your upcoming show. You have to start somewhere. The friend shows can be frustrating, but they aren't always terrible like this. I've had great shows with friends and family. :) Plus, by reminding them to invite people I don't know, I got to meet new people to market to. Focus on the show, what PC has to offer, how generous the host benefits are, how your guests are going to have fun and will learn a recipe that's going to be easy & tasty. When you talk to your friend/host, try to sound confident in what you are offering her, and try not to sound like she is doing you a favor. Recognize her efforts and willingness to host, but don't dwell on it. Have fun with the guests and the experience so you can get bookings with the fresh faces in the room! Once you get out of your friends/family circle, it'll be a little easier.Hang in there! Sorry this one was a stinker. ;)
 
ms_twana said:
Those statements have SOOO been the case with my last two shows. I finally emailed her today to let her know that the order will come to my house. Since she didn't answer the phone, I couldn't get her address entered. She said she didn't call me back because no one called her back. REALLY??? And you didn't think a curteousy call saying, "Hey. I don't have any more orders. No one called me back" would have been appropriate??? UGH!! Then she had the nerves to tell me that she didn't want the DCB and that she wish she could have picked out her own stuff instead of what I ASSUMED she wanted!!! :eek: WHAT??? I politely informed her that I wish she could have picked her items as well, however my hands were tied when she didn't answer or return my phone calls and I needed to submit my order by midnight.

I really did have to pray before I pressed the send button. My initial response was not nice AT ALL. After praying and asking God to lead my words, I decided to respond as the Pampered Chef Consultant instead of the friend. But we DO need to have a conversation in person, or over the phone so that I CAN tell her how I felt about her not taking my business seriously and how not calling me on Friday night, when she KNEW that was my deadline, was just WRONG.

This really makes me want to reconsider calling my friends and asking them to host a show. I have another friend that I'm tempted to cancel on. She doesn't really want to do the show anyway. I can tell in her voice. But it's also SAT, so I don't want to miss the chance either. After this, I think I'll just work on leads from other shows. I don't want to mix friends and business again. :yuck:

If you ordered the DCB for her (and I assume paid for it for her), she can return it free within 30 days and pick out what she wants in place of it.
 
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  • #10
wadesgirl said:
If you ordered the DCB for her (and I assume paid for it for her), she can return it free within 30 days and pick out what she wants in place of it.

Yeah. That's what I'm going to do.

I feel like we're officially "into it" now; which is not what I wanted. My husband told me that I have to realize everyone is not going to be as passionate about my business as I am. Which is true. I need to accept that.
 
  • #11
One thing I always tell myself when I have a flop show is at least I was in front of people, got the practice and had a chance to further my business. But one thing I decided a long time ago is the ones you have to talk into having a show are usually the ones that end up canceling or having lousy shows/attitude about the whole process. It will get better!!! At least you qualified, praise the Lord for that!!!
 
  • #12
I've said it before, but I'll share it again. Years ago I changed the way I define a successful show. It's one in which everyone has a good time and at least one person learned something. Now all of my shows are successful. In direct sales, as in so many things in life, attitude can make or break you. Come here and vent when you're disappointed. We've all been there and can commiserate. Then bless and release and move on to your next success.
 
  • #13
raebates said:
I've said it before, but I'll share it again. Years ago I changed the way I define a successful show. It's one in which everyone has a good time and at least one person learned something. Now all of my shows are successful.

Thanks for that reminder, Rae! I need to remember that - lately I've gotten into the bad habit of giving myself discouraging self-talk when things don't turn out the way I'd hoped. This is a better idea than measuring a successful show by number of guests, sales, bookings, or recruit leads. Not that those aren't important, but we can't always control that.
Thanks!
 
  • #14
That's part of what prompted my attitude shift. I would make an assumption about what guest sales would be. I had two shows close together. One was in an upscale neighborhood with a wealthy host with wealthy friends--I knew it would be at least $750. The other show was in a rural area in a trailer--I knew she'd be lucky to break $200. The first show? Less than $500--good, but not what I was expecting. The second show? Just shy of $900. The thing was, even though the first show was an okay show, I was extremely disappointed. I hated that feeling. Plus, I suspect that I didn't coach and handle my second host as well as I could have because I didn't expect much. I assure you that the next time she hosted she got my A game, as do all of my hosts now. Like I said, attitude is really important.
 
  • #15
raebates said:
I've said it before, but I'll share it again. Years ago I changed the way I define a successful show. It's one in which everyone has a good time and at least one person learned something. Now all of my shows are successful. In direct sales, as in so many things in life, attitude can make or break you. Come here and vent when you're disappointed. We've all been there and can commiserate. Then bless and release and move on to your next success.

I was talking about this last night with one of my team members. She has a party on Friday where she feels the host isn't putting in the full effort for her party and is worried that it won't even turn into a show (I had the same thing last weekend!). I gave her two examples of ways that I was able to turn a "negative" show into a postive. Last year I did a vendor show in a small town outside of where I live. The event had very little traffic and I got a few orders from it and one show from another consultant. Turn around to almost a year later - I got an email from a gal who said a friend of hers gets my newsletter and she wants to have a show. At the time I didn't recognize the name so I didn't think anything about it. Well we are closing the show tonight and it's over $1200! When I got to the friend's order and entered it in, it was the contact from the location that we did the show at last year! So although the show didn't do much the contacts I made have totally panned out.

Then there is my show from Monday. She was a past host who offered to help me out to earn my trip! The gal put in a decent effort to have a good show but didn't realize it was PTA night so a lot of the people who would have showed up weren't able to. While the show is only $200 - hey any amount helps right now - I got TWO December bookings off it!
 

1. Can I still receive my host rewards if my friend cancelled the party last minute?

Yes, as long as you and your guests still meet the minimum sales requirement, you will still receive your host rewards.

2. What happens if my friend forgets to invite some of our mutual friends to the party?

If you are worried about not meeting the minimum guest requirement, you can always reach out to those friends and personally invite them to the party. As long as they attend and make a purchase, they will count towards your party's sales.

3. Can I reschedule the party if my friend drops the ball?

Yes, you can always reschedule the party for a later date that works better for you and your friend. Just make sure to communicate with your guests and keep them updated on the new date.

4. What if my friend doesn't show up to the party at all?

If your friend is unable to attend the party, you can still hold the party without them. Just make sure to keep track of their guest list and sales so they can still receive their host rewards.

5. Can I still earn host rewards if my friend only has a small turnout?

Yes, the host rewards are based on the total sales from the party, not just the number of guests. So even if there is a small turnout, you can still earn host rewards as long as the total sales meet the minimum requirement.

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