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Feel awkward at Cluster meetings

babywings76

Legend Member
Gold Member
Jun 19, 2008
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Why do I always come home from a cluster meeting feeling stupid? I always walk away thinking that they all would love to kick me out of my cluster. :rolleyes: :blushing: :D The reason is that I think I just talk too much, not social chit chat, but business stuff. After being cooped up all day without a single adult to talk to, I want talk I guess. But every time my director and her director ask questions, I speak up. I wait for others to jump in first, but after a minute of silence, I'll answer the question. Because of the wealth of info I learn here on CS, I've got tips and things to share. It's always relevant to the discussion, and again..I try to let others have a chance to share. I wait to hear what my director has to say, and then I'll also share some info. I want to bite my tongue so badly cause I know I'm probably sharing too much, but I can't seem to help myself.

So....since I never really come home having learned anything new and since I'm probably annoying..should I stop going? I'm seriously getting self-conscious about it. :blushing:
 

ShelbyMichalek

Veteran Member
Dec 20, 2009
1,373
4
Relax, it sounds like you have some great director qualities and could probably conduct those meetings yourself :D. Your director probably feels like they are teaching you well because you know so much!

Just because you aren't learning something new, doesn't mean you aren't a valuable asset to your team. I think you need to call your directer and say "Hey, I enjoy going to all our meetings, but I really don't feel like I'm walking away with anything from them and I feel like maybe I'm annoying everyone with how I always answer everything. I don't know if I should attend them anymore because I walk away feeling kinda dumb."
I'd bet she has no idea you feel that way and she probably doesn't think your annoying at all, and if she does, at least then you'll know ;)
 

pcjenn

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Gold Member
Jan 28, 2008
84
0
Amanda,

I so know how you feel. When I started with my hospitality cluster I was the newbie, but I always had the answers and I wanted to share. I felt so out of place and wondered if they wished I wouldn't come anymore. What I didn't realize was, that was my enthusiasm for my business and it was great that I had that. My enthusiasm was very different than theirs. I actually kept my mouth shut one meeting, just to see. I had phone calls later that week asking if I was okay because I wasn't my usual, enthusiastic self.

I encourage you to keep your enthusiasm.

Now that I am a director and conduct my own meetings I would love to have someone at my meetings that shared that same enthusiasm.
 

scottcooks

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Gold Member
Jul 7, 2005
1,937
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That's why we want to keep new (enthusiastic) consultants coming to our meetings! Start new people regularly, and ... it will be so!
 

wadesgirl

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Gold Member
Jul 25, 2007
11,412
31
Here's one thing I've learned, some times other people are not paying attention to certain business things - even the host/guest specials! It's amazing who doesn't know the upcoming specials, consultant incentives, etc! I was the same way when I first started going to meetings. I've always said I'm full of useless (sometimes useful!) knowledge. One thing that I've learned over the years is that I love to train! I think meetings are important so NO, do not quit going. But maybe speak up to your director and ask her if you could help train on a section or two a month. I've also realized that even if I don't learn anything maybe I passed along one thing that someone else learned.
 

BethCooks4U

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Jan 21, 2005
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It's great that you share! Talk to your director and tell her how you feel and ask her opinion on the whole issue. As far as learning things at the meeting, I would be that you are. I am one that reads and checks things out too and I felt that I wasn't learning much at the meetings (when I had one to go to) but then I realized that people had said things that I was sharing with my team or at my shows. You might not be learning big things but the subtle things add a lot to the consultant you are.
 

chefjeanine

Senior Member
Gold Member
Jan 19, 2006
2,984
119
Keep going! I know exactly how you feel. We haven't had a cluster meeting in months (thanks to the changes in career path) and I miss the time spent.

I suggest you ask your Director if you can share in the training. Each month (or every other) you could be in charge of a topic/activity.

They need you and your excitement. Don't stay home!
 

chefcharity

Advanced Member
Oct 27, 2008
701
0
Keep it up! If you would really like to get more involved in a more 'official' way.. ask your director if you can teach one of the training topics. I always help mine with the training session and it makes me feel better about adding my 2 cents in! Not to mention, I always learn better when I'm teaching someone. Just a thought! But I agree with the others... don't stay home! You are an asset to your group. You might not be bringing anything home but you are getting great practice for your own team when you have your own meetings. Also, if there is something you want to learn about... suggest it to your director as a training topic. :)
 

kristina16marie

Advanced Member
Gold Member
Apr 15, 2009
875
10
Keep going! Enthusiasm is contagious!
 

colegrovet

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Jun 11, 2008
1,074
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  • #10
Amanda,

You may not as you said learning things, but your share your wealth of knowlege gained from here and from doing the business. So that make you a teacher, a leader.

Even when you feel your not learning anything, you are actually learning something it may not click now, but somewhere down the line it may.. and you'll have the duh.. moment.. :)
 

Intrepid_Chef

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Nov 6, 2007
5,161
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  • #11
Suggest to your director that you do a quiz. 20 questions about the business, specials, catalog, products, whatever. Things like, how long is the guarantee on the loaf pans, are the muffin pans dishwasher safe, stuff like that.

Whoever scores lowest gets to do it next month!

I pretty much don't do cluster meetings either. I am usually working on the night they have them. For once, the topic of the April meeting is one I want to catch, and I cannot be there either. Other than that (an active demo on races) there's very little offered there that I cannot get right here.
 

ChefLoriG

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Mar 13, 2005
544
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  • #12
keep going to your meetings, I was you 6 years ago, I'm an Advanced Director now =)
 

raebates

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Dec 6, 2005
18,357
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  • #13
I'm that same way. There are months I bite my tongue and say little, but most of the time I feel sorry for the person leading the training if no one is participating. Like you, I allow others plenty of time to answer, usually waiting for a second prompt before jumping in.

Do you have a friend at the meetings you could talk to? If so, you could ask if she/he feels like you're commandeering the meeting.
 

babywings76

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Jun 19, 2008
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  • Thread starter
  • #14
Thanks everyone for the responses. :)

Well, I carpooled to the meeting w/ my director. So on the drive home, I did tell her that I feel so bad that I may be talking too much. That I try to bite my tongue and when I just can't seem to stop myself, I find myself thinking to myself, "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" :blushing:

She said that I am very well researched and do have lots of great ideas to share. So that was nice, but...she didn't really say anything in response to my feeling like I'm annoying. So I took it to mean that maybe I am annoying. :rolleyes: :blushing:

There are 2 other girls there that I am friends with, but we don't really communicate outside of cluster meetings. I wonder if it would be odd to all of a sudden call them?
 

Jolie_Paradoxe

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Apr 15, 2009
2,869
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  • #15
I'm the share it all kind of gal myself. When I'm quiet, I'm asked if everything is ok. It's good to share info as not everyone has access or time to research CS. The meeting leaders need and appreciate participation and enthusiasm....it makes for a better meeting all around.

Continue to allow others to participate, allow for the meeting to flow and continue to share the ideas. If you think you're sharing too much, then try and share 3 solid ideas.

You can always come to my meetings....we like and want enthusiastic and generous team mates. ;)
 

chefjeanine

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Jan 19, 2006
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  • #16
She said that I am very well researched and do have lots of great ideas to share. So that was nice, but...she didn't really say anything in response to my feeling like I'm annoying. So I took it to mean that maybe I am annoying. :rolleyes: :blushing:

There are 2 other girls there that I am friends with, but we don't really communicate outside of cluster meetings. I wonder if it would be odd to all of a sudden call them?

Maybe you Director feels a little nervous because you are more knowledgeable than she is. . .
 

babywings76

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Jun 19, 2008
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  • #17
Okay, I'm going to delete this thread in a few minutes, since I never know if someone from my cluster might come on here. Not sure if my director would come and see it. I'd feel terrible if they saw it.

Thanks for letting me vent and I appreciate the feedback. I'll probably still go. But I'm really going to try harder to bite my tongue and make sure I'm not jumping up too soon with advice or input. :) Maybe some of my extra tidbits of info, I'll type up in an e-mail and my director can e-mail it out to everyone. She's done that in the past, too. I know she appreciates my trying to help others and sharing information. I'll just try to tone things down a notch or two.
 

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