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Dealing with problem hosts

Dec 5, 2011

I am a fairly new consultant - I started in October 2011. I have done fairly well so far and recently had my first party (last month) where everyone was talking and no one seemed to be paying attention.

It was a joint show with my friend and her boyfriends sister-in-law. They held the show at the boyfriends/husbands parents house. I was getting ready to start when they realized they forgot the cheesesteaks for our cheesesteak pizzas. One ran to get them but I started. In the middle of me starting the problem host's aunt asked me 3 times to total up her order (I thought maybe she had to leave but this wasn't the case) so while the crusts were pre baking I had to get my laptop out, enter the order, find her past host # - nearly burnt the crusts - needless to say I was flustered. I held it together and did the show while people just seemed to want to not pay attention (about 12 people at the show).

At the end this host left and went to the neighbors so I stayed and helped my friend (the other co-host) clean everything up and do the dishes. The next day the problem host messaged me asking if I could go back and combine customer orders so that they could get the free glass containers. I told her that this was not allowed and I was not able to do that.

We were to close the show a total of 5 days later as she was still collecting outside orders - this was already a stretch. Everything was due to me on a Friday. I got nothing. Saturday at 9pm (the last day of the month) she finally sent over her order so that I could submit the order. Not realizing that she wasn't eligible for it I quickly asked what size container she wanted on her order and she picked the large one. I was rushing to get it in as I wanted to get to bed I had done a vendor show earlier that day and was tired. The next day when I realized she could only get the small container, I sent her a message stating this.

The order came in (delivered to my friends house who was going to sort it). She had a flu so she told the problem host it would be a day or two until she sorted it. The next day she asked my friend when she would be better because she wanted her orders. So, I personally went to my friends house and sorted their entire show.

A week later the problem hosts messages me saying that she was missing her large free container (which I had corrected myself and told her I was wrong about) and that shouldn't they get more free gifts because she wrote me a check for $900+ (I give extra gifts for $1,000 shows and 2 or more bookings). I informed her they received benefits at the $800 level as that was the amount of their show and it doesn't include tax, shipping. She was aware of this when we went over the benefits (I thought anyway?). She also then thought I was yelling at her for not having bookings. I had mentioned nothing as over the past couple months I did shows for 4 of the people who attended this show.

Now, over the past two days she has insulted me telling me I put on a terrible show and didn't do a good job. She said it is in my job description to answer her questions - which I did, but they weren't the answers she wanted I guess (combining orders for free containers, wanted more free gifts). She also said she had a guest who didn't come because I tried to charge her more than necessary at a past show (I accidentally had ordered a wrong cookbook for someone I had mistaken a 1 for a 7 and there was a $5 difference - me and the guest met and I refunded her and we swapped for the correct book - there were no issues. I also gave her a small gift for the error). She said I was trying to keep her past host discount # from her (I had it written on a piece of paper my friend had forgot to give her so had to send her online) as she should have received it.

I have now told her that this has gone too far esp via just text and messaging - I asked her to please come to my house with the small container and I will take it and order the larger container for her - I am just trying to fix things no matter what as this is my business. I have been trying to be as nice as possible but it has been rough listening to her attack me. Can anyone please offer advice/past experiences on how to deal with this?


Legend Member
Gold Member
Jan 21, 2005
Bless and release. You are being more than generous buying her the larger container. It's not worth stressing over her issues. Nothing you can do will make her happy. She probably thinks you make 40 or 50% commission...

I would say something like "I'm sorry I wasn't clearer and I am paying out of my pocket to help make you happier. I am pretty new at this so have made a couple of errors but I have made up for those mistakes at my expense."

In the future I would not offer anything over what PC give as host benefits. It undermines the very generous host program (adding extras implies you don't think what PC offers is good enough). If someone questions it say that you offered extras at first because you were trying to get your business off the ground and that you didn't realize how awesome the PC benefits really were.
Dec 5, 2011
Thank you so much! I worry too much - I know this. I am just trying to do the "right" thing here - especially since it is someone from my hometown and she is married into my friends family. I felt like I was being very nice but then the more she insulted the more I worried there is more that I should do. Appreciate your response - and you are right, we do offer such a fantastic host program! Maybe should just stick to the door prize...


Jan 30, 2012
You are just going to have those problem hosts because I think people think they can bully us around. You definitely are being overgenerous. Do what you can now to answer her questions but definitely Bless and Release!