Couples' Activities: Ideas for Quality Time Together

[kearstin]

Hi Guys -

I haven't been on here for a while, but I'm back because you guys give the best advice

Hubby and I have been going through a rough patch and have realized that we need to be spending more quality time together. We don't really have hobby or anything that we regularly do together, so our challenge is to make a list of activities that we would like to try in the hopes of finding a hobby of sorts. So, that has me wondering, what do other couples do together? Any ideas?

Thanks!!!
Kearstin

 

[raebates]

I'm married to a guy who like to shop--especially for antiques. He's also an auction hound. Those are our fun activities.

 

[cmdtrgd]

Is PC something you two could do together? That way you could be making $ on date night, not spending it!

 

[Jules711]

Hobbies are kind of personal so good luck finding something. However, what we do are the little things. Going grocery shopping together, going out to eat somewhere we've never gone, cooking together (hello...perfect for a PC consultant), even watching movies. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter what as long as you are both truly present. Try some things that neither of you have done before. Good luck! We are looking forward to warmer weather so we can play tennis!BTW, we have a young daughter, so it's very important to do things without her sometimes.

 

[raebates]

BTW, we have a young daughter, so it's very important to do things without her sometimes.

Such a good point. Our son is now almost 21 and living in another state. However, we made a point to do things without him on a regular basis. The best gift you can give you children is a good relationship with their father.

 

[KellyTheChef]

My hubby and I need to spend more time together too. Watching TV or movies doesn't count to me...you are sitting next to someone, but you certainly aren't communicating!

I actually enjoy yard work IF I am doing it along with my hubby.

I would like to get him to go on some after dinner walks once this crappy weather breaks! LOL

We have kids too, so playing board games or outside games with them is always fun for the ENTIRE family, even though that isn't "hubby and you" time! (Not sure if you have children...)

We also got into disk golfing a few years back and we had TONS of fun together doing that!

 

[kearstin]

Watching TV or movies doesn't count to me...you are sitting next to someone, but you certainly aren't communicating!

I agree that movies and TV don't count for quality time.

I'm not all that athletically inclined, but I am curious - what is disk golfing??

 

[Jules711]

Watching TV & movies count to me b/c we are willing to pause and chat during it. It brings up conversations and such. Besides, sometimes just being truly present next to each other (not working, on computer, talking on phone, reading etc) is important for our relationship. Walks are definitely great! We all go together for that and playing outside too. Maybe gardening would be good. We don't have green thumbs here, but I'd love one!

 

[DebbieJ]

disk golfing=frisbee golf I think.

For us, we recently cancelled our Dish Network. At night after our son is in bed, we spend "quality time" cleaning up the kitchen, doing the dishes, and then we just sit and talk! We talk much more freely when we're doing a task together. It has dramatically improved our relationship.

 

[KellyTheChef]

I'm not all that athletically inclined, but I am curious - what is disk golfing??

Kearstin~

Believe me...I am athletically CHALLENGED!!! But, this I could do! LOL

Disk golf is like Frisbie golf. You use a disk that looks like a Frisbie (but it's different...different ones "throw" differently...kind of like how different golf clubs hit the ball differently) and you go through holes like you are golfing. But, instead of a hole in the ground, there are chain link "baskets" that you have to toss the disk in. You count throws, just like you count swings in golf. If you do an internet search, you may be able to find public parks in your area that have these courses!

 

[pampermeplease]

We do quite a few things together.....letterboxing (fun for the family), golf and bowl (without kids). We meet up at the horse barn about every other day or so and share the chores. We have a date night once a month and have another couple watch our kids while we go out to eat and to a movie or just somewhere we feel like at that time. The other couple who watches our kids also trades with us and we watch theirs about once a month while they go out too. Maybe you can find someone to trade with. And yes, we love to go to the flea markets together. There are awesome finds for us AND as gifts for others. We go to any and all of the free expos in the areas too. There's so much to do, you'll definately find something you BOTH like to do. Good luck!

 

[pamperedpsalmstress]

Okay, I'm divorced so not certain how much help I am.(lol)
but, what about fishing/camping? Museums, flea markets/garage selling. Picnic at the park with kite flying or remote control car racing?
How about taking dance classes together.

 

[lnicole77]

We have a couples poker game (texes hold'em) that we do once a month.

Buy in is $10 a person for $400 in chips, its byob, and every couple brings a snack to share. Each couple takes a turn hosting. Very inexpensive evening out, and very social.

One on one activities, we have dinner together without the kids once a month. And I try to take interest in the things he likes to do, like I always go with him to Home Depot.

 

[mrssyvo]

We love to travel together, we hike at least once a week during the Summer, and we entertain quite a bit. He also comes to shows with me sometimes, if we have been too busy to be together.

 

[jrstephens]

I don't really think my and my husband have particulars that we do together. On the weekend we will go to Walmart together and usually we eat lunch somwhere with our son.

We watch movies and tv together.

We do try to go out ot eat along ever so often.

And now with my PC commissions we have been able to go places together and do things with our son we may not have normally be able to do.

We both love football (he is a high schools coach) we love to watch collge games together. We are taking our son to his first Alabama football function this weekend for A-day.

 

[janetupnorth]

Look into geocaching too...it has become quite the hobby - you don't have to be "athletic" too much, walks, etc. It could be fun... http://www.geocaching.com/

 

[rennea]

DH and I do everything together and most people wonder how we do it without "killing" each other. There are days

How about going for walks/hiking together?? My DH and I travel a lot, yard work, home fix ups. We actually I think need to spend some time a part

 

[tlennhoff]

My hubby and I need to spend more time together too. Watching TV or movies doesn't count to me...you are sitting next to someone, but you certainly aren't communicating!

LOL, we have a DVR and it can take us 2 hours to watch a 30 minute show as we discuss and argue about what is going on and the ramifications if it was real life or... well suffice it to say that in our house tv watching is interactive. If we are not interacting its no fun to watch tv.

 

[pampermeplease]

LOL and here I haven't had tv in years...we do more stuff outside and are involoved in more 'stuff' but we still always have movies for the kids. Needless to say, hubby is itching to get dish or direct tv. We just aren't home enough to watch alot of tv and it's restricted to an hour a day for our oldest thanks to ADHD. Sometimes, it's better NOT to have tv.

 

[The_Kitchen_Guy]

We've got the cars. Although there are two chances of The Kat Lady coming out to the garage and helping with mechanical issues (and Slim is on a diet) she loves going touring. When you are riding in an antique (and I'm talking a pre-war car or up to about 1960, one that turns heads) you're always in a parade, even on a trip to the grocery store. People want to talk to us about the car, they tell us their stories and love to reminisce with us. If you're lucky enough to find a car club with the same tastes, you'll make lots of new friends with interesting people who share an interest in the car and, probably, many other things.I'm saying you have to buy or restore and old car - it's just another example of a hobby that offers together time and individual time for both of you. (I do all the mechanics since The Kat Lady knows which end of a wrench to hold but won't) and she has been known to help out with the washing, waxing and polishing.

 

[mommyhugz1978]

My Dh and I have been married almost five months now, I have a five year old little girl from a pervious marriage. We spend time together by going camping, or hiking, or fishing...... sometimes we even get in the car and just go for a drive as a family.

 

[tlennhoff]

Something my ex-husband and I used to do was take tours of old homes. This meant we spent a lot of time driving around together getting too and from them and this gave us lots of time to talk. Most old home tours are pretty cheap, gas is however much more expensive then it was then.

 

[Chef Kearns]

My husband and I like to tour the new home constructions. We create new identities for each time we go into the office. That's alot of fun. We play flag football (sometimes together--this time not, but he was our women's coach). We go to dinner together quite a bit.

My husband is not much of a talker, but as stated before, if we watch a moving movie or tv show he will discuss it. Sometimes I am the one just nodding my head.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

We've got the cars. Although there are two chances of The Kat Lady coming out to the garage and helping with mechanical issues (and Slim is on a diet) she loves going touring. When you are riding in an antique (and I'm talking a pre-war car or up to about 1960, one that turns heads) you're always in a parade, even on a trip to the grocery store.

People want to talk to us about the car, they tell us their stories and love to reminisce with us. If you're lucky enough to find a car club with the same tastes, you'll make lots of new friends with interesting people who share an interest in the car and, probably, many other things.

I'm saying you have to buy or restore and old car - it's just another example of a hobby that offers together time and individual time for both of you. (I do all the mechanics since The Kat Lady knows which end of a wrench to hold but won't) and she has been known to help out with the washing, waxing and polishing.

It's amazing how a car can be such a fun hobby! My DH and I enjoy Car Shows together, and usually plan our vacations around long-distance Car Shows we want to attend. We are excited that this weekend looks like a nice weekend for the first drive of the season!
Oh, and KG, our car is a 1970 - but we still have to be careful not to cause accidents from heads turning when we take the Challenger out! The fun thing is - we make friends where ever we go - someone always wants to strick up a conversation about the car.....even at red lights!
It's funny - when I was single, I would have never dreamed I would be a "gearhead", but I went into my marriage knowing it was a "love me - love my car" deal, so I made a point of learning as much as I could about his car - and now it's fun for me too! Our son (almost 3) knows more about cars than alot of adults....and I'm not DH's helper in the garage.....that's DS's job now!

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

We've been married 11 years this month and we have tons of stuff we do together. I don't know if they are hobbies are not, we just like being together. We are HUGE readers so going to the bookstore is a thrill for us, and expensive. We work out together (when our schedules allow), we love traveling (plan to do more when no more kiddos at home), we love going out to movies and new restaruants. We watch tv together at night and rub each others feet (he'd kill me if he knew I posted that on here). We discuss movies, books, music, politics, religion, etc. and sometimes, we don't talk at all. We just enjoy each others company.

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

oh, we do plan (one day) to take couples dance lessons together.

 

[gratergirl]

We like to go camping, shooting (my hubbie is a police officer) and I never did it before until he bought me my own hand gun. I know a couple that goes bowling faithfully every week. How about making a date night? It doesn't matter what or where you do but it's got to be a night spent together. It could be a dinner out, movie out (or in!), walk in the park (or beach) a picnic, go dancing, to a concert, a card night with another couple or even games. I would sit down and make a list of things that you like and let him do the same and just do something he likes one week and something you like the next or even something that you would both enjoy.

 

[KellyRedHead]

My husband and I will be married 15 years this year.

We had a hard time finding something to do together away from our kids.
I know this is not for everyone, but my DH has a motorcycle and since he has gotten it our relationship has improved so much. We go and take rides (weather permitting in NY!) without the kids and stop and get ice cream or dinner (depending on how much time we have to get away) by ourselves or with friends. I know we don't talk while riding, but it gets us out and talk while eating or taking walks on the beach we ride to.

Kelly

 

[ChefBeckyD]

DH and I also like to go out to dinner together....we are both always in pursuit of the perfect burger.....or the best Seafood. We like to drive (it's a 20 min drive) to Lake Michigan, and watch the boats come in at the end of the day and watch the sunset. We like to garden together, and do yardwork. We have plenty of things that we do separate though also. He likes to tinker in the garage, and he has a workshop in the basement - he likes to build things.

I like to read, cook, surf the net.....

Oh - and we really like biking together, although that has now become a family thing, not just a couples thing.

AND we are addicted to BLOKUS - it's a strategy board game that is incredibly addictive!

 

[KimmyDarling]

We are taking our son to his first Alabama football function this weekend for A-day.

Jennifer, that is so neat. I went to Alabama, and I will never ever forget my first Alabama game with my Dad.

My husband and I take dance lessons together. It all stemmed from watching Dancing With The Stars-- I had never seen him even shake his fanny once in eight years of having been together! We started with the Carolina Shag, and we're now taking Basic Ballroom.

We also LOVED taking yoga classes together.

Otherwise, we watch "our shows" and movies together, and discuss them throughout. I'm sure it'd drive anyone else crazy, since we pause it every two minutes or so!

We also love going out to eat together, and have had some of our best conversations in our favorite restaurants.

 

[kimmers]

My husband and I will be married 15 years this year.

We had a hard time finding something to do together away from our kids.
I know this is not for everyone, but my DH has a motorcycle and since he has gotten it our relationship has improved so much. We go and take rides (weather permitting in NY!) without the kids and stop and get ice cream or dinner (depending on how much time we have to get away) by ourselves or with friends. I know we don't talk while riding, but it gets us out and talk while eating or taking walks on the beach we ride to.

Kelly

My hubby & I celebrate 15 in August. He bought a motorcycle in 2004, and I ended up getting one (my first time ever riding my own) in 2005. It's a pretty small world Kelly.

I don't think it really matters what you do together as long as you do something. There are many times when it doesn't seem like my dh and I don't do enough together, and then there are times that it doesn't seem to matter. I hope that makes sense.

Just find your peace and what works for ya'll.

 

[KellyRedHead]

This is funny Kim! My husband and I will be married 15 years in August too! August 1st actually.

My husband purchased his bike in 2004 also!

I took the motorcycle safety class last summer and past. He purchased a nice starter bike for me, but so far I really like riding on the back of his and not driving my own. Maybe I will someday. I actually have been trying to sell it and maybe in the future I will change my mind. I just wish everyone would stop pushing me to get on a do it, I will like it and want to do it when I am ready.

Just thought how funny it was that we have similiar things going on in our lives!


Kelly

 

[chefclare]

We have a date night once a month. My hubby got a new hobby of photography about a year ago which led to my new hobby of scrapbooking! It's been wonderful! He's so good at the pictures and I love scrapbooking them. He loves looking at the finished product and we both pick out pictures for me to scrapbook.
Good luck!

 

[kcjodih]

My husband and I will be married 15 years this year.

We had a hard time finding something to do together away from our kids.
I know this is not for everyone, but my DH has a motorcycle and since he has gotten it our relationship has improved so much. We go and take rides (weather permitting in NY!) without the kids and stop and get ice cream or dinner (depending on how much time we have to get away) by ourselves or with friends. I know we don't talk while riding, but it gets us out and talk while eating or taking walks on the beach we ride to.

Kelly

Kelly, we must be twins! We've been married 15 years this year as well, and also go out regularly (weather permitting here in Ontario) on the bike (although we've had one bike or another since even before we were married), just us or with others, for a coffee, ice cream, just to sitesee and also to grab a bite to eat

 

[raebates]

We do quite a few things together.....letterboxing (fun for the family), . . .

What in the world is letterboxing? I'm picturing each person holding a big letter and whacking away at the letters the others are holding. The image is making me giggle, but I'm guessing that it's not particularly accurate.

 

[kearstin]

Thanks for all the responses, guys!! I knew you would have great answers We're both working on a list of things we would like to do and then we'll swap lists and see what we both had and which ones we would like to try out!!!

 

[pampermeplease]

LOL no letterboxing isn't that violent. It's kinda like geocaching and here's a website you can look at www.letterboxing.org. Basically, you and your family search a list for a box hidden near you (or near where you're going if you're travelling on vacation), print out the directions (some are quite hard others not so), and go on a drive/hike to find the box.

The boxes include rubber stamps specially made (usually hand carved by the person who hid the box), an ink pad, and a notebook to record visitors in. You should have your own stamp, a 'name' (we're the Warhorses and our stamp is a my little pony one for the time being), and your own notebook.

Once you find the box, you stamp your book with theirs, and their book with yours. Record anything else you like in your book to make it memorable and re-hide the box. This is all on the secret side so you have to be wary of others who may be on the same trail as you.

These are like scavenger hunts for kids that you can join in too. They get you out of the house, sometimes into parks, and away from your everyday pressures.

We've only just started in the last 6 months or so and we found our first box on a trip back home. Our kids (4 and 8) thought it was awesome to find and stamp the notebooks and then re-hide the box. They also got to explore the area first and learn from it.

Hope this helps explain a little more. There's a midwest letterboxing yahoo group I belong too, and I'm sure there are more for specific areas around the world. I definately know there are way more websites than the one I just listed above. Oh and sometimes, the clues can be in codes or poems you have to riddle out.

 

[gratergirl]

I thought maybe it was a typo and was supposed to be "leather boxing"....what a visual that we are all getting. Please post what the heck letter boxing is. Curiosity is killing me! lol

 

[raebates]

Ahhhh! That makes a lot more sense. Sounds like fun.

 

[sparkles17]

well my hubby and I are also needing to get quality time together. So for us we are trying to kill two birds with one stone by doing things that are physical and good for us to spend quality time together.

I am going to start learning how to play golf so that we can play together. And we also play racquetball together as well.

And also walking the dog and talking.

But we also enjoy shopping and walking around with each other.

 

[Rebeccascabinet]

But we also enjoy shopping and walking around with each other.

He enjoys shopping? Where can I get a hubby like that?

 

[raebates]

He enjoys shopping? Where can I get a hubby like that?

I found mine at the mall waiting for the fireworks to start on July 4th, 1984.

 

[KellyRedHead]

Hey Jodi! Maybe we are!!

I love to go out on the bike. Its our time away for a little while. My mother hates when we ride it together. She is worried something is going to happen. I am too sometimes I have to admit, but I feel I also have to live and not be afraid to ride. My husband is a great driver, and very careful of the elements and people around him.

He just got voted President of his motorcycle club. It called the Red Knights and it is all firemen or retired firemen. So we ride quite often in a group and go to dinner or ice cream, coffee etc..

Kelly

Kelly, we must be twins! We've been married 15 years this year as well, and also go out regularly (weather permitting here in Ontario) on the bike (although we've had one bike or another since even before we were married), just us or with others, for a coffee, ice cream, just to sitesee and also to grab a bite to eat

 

[Paige Dixon]

Salsa dancing!!!

I can't seem to stay married, but it sounds good!

I'll just sit here and be like the people with no kids giving me parenting advice.

 

[rennea]

He enjoys shopping? Where can I get a hubby like that?

My DH LOVES to shop, total shopaholic big time!!!

 

[raebates]

Now, when I say my DH loves to shop, I'm not talking about women's clothing stores. (They bore him.) He likes antiques, kitchen stores (funny how he compares everything unfavorably to PC!), furniture and home stores, and, of course, anything with tools and building materials. I'm with him on everything but that last one.

When we head out, I make sure I have a book or magazine along. If we hit Menards, Home Depot, Lowes, or any of the other big "home improvement" places, I take my reading material in with me. I really don't mind waiting while he touches EVERYTHING in the store. However, I'm much more entertained if I have something to read while he's mulling over the difference between two apparently identical pieces of hardware. (He feels the same way about another pair of black shoes.)

 

[ChefBeckyD]

My DH actually likes clothes shopping! I'm the one who hates it.....I like to buy my clothes from a catalog. He likes to pick out clothes for me, and have me try them all on....I HATE trying on clothes! And I hate waiting while he tries on clothes too. I don't understand why, when he always wears the same size/brand of jeans, he has to try on 3-4 pairs before buying them......

For Christmas, he always goes to a very nice Dept. store, and chooses a whole outfit for me - did I mention that he is also the one in our marriage with a fashion sense?

 

[rennea]

My DH actually likes clothes shopping! I'm the one who hates it.....I like to buy my clothes from a catalog. He likes to pick out clothes for me, and have me try them all on....I HATE trying on clothes! And I hate waiting while he tries on clothes too. I don't understand why, when he always wears the same size/brand of jeans, he has to try on 3-4 pairs before buying them......

For Christmas, he always goes to a very nice Dept. store, and chooses a whole outfit for me - did I mention that he is also the one in our marriage with a fashion sense?

Your DH and mine need to meet, they would get along wonderfuly. Last vacation I made the comment that he should have been a woman, he didn't like that!! He loves shoes and belts, wallets and watches. Most of the time he dresses like a GQ model. (not that there is anything wrong with that ) Needless to say I let him pick a lot of my clothes. If he sees a new hand bag that I must have he goes crazy. Loves to shop for me. One year we were in Venice with another couple and Dh went with her to find a new leather hand bag and her hubby and I went to look at St. Marks.

 

[Miss Cori]

Me and my boyfriend has season passes to six flags last year. And that was great for us because we have very little in common, but that was a way for us to get out and spend a whole day together. You could even make a weekend out of it, get a hotel and go two days in a row.

 

[ChefBeckyD]

Your DH and mine need to meet, they would get along wonderfuly. Last vacation I made the comment that he should have been a woman, he didn't like that!! He loves shoes and belts, wallets and watches. Most of the time he dresses like a GQ model. (not that there is anything wrong with that ) Needless to say I let him pick a lot of my clothes. If he sees a new hand bag that I must have he goes crazy. Loves to shop for me. One year we were in Venice with another couple and Dh went with her to find a new leather hand bag and her hubby and I went to look at St. Marks.

Rennea! Do you think they are long lost twins or something? My DH is the exact same way! I have told him that he is definitely in touch w/ his feminine side! He also loves shoes & belts...and don't even get me started on his watches! I think every purse I've gotten since we have been married was either purchased by him. or he helped to pick it out! When we go on vacation, he always sets aside money for clothes shopping - and he remembers his favorite little "Haunts" for when we are back in that area again! Oh and he irons his own clothes, because stuff that I think may not need ironing, he does! And cologne....the man loves to shop for cologne for him and perfume for me! I really can't complain, because where alot of husbands complain about what their wives spend on all that stuff - he encourages me to spend. The bad thing is, I HATE to spend full price for anything!